Only Sons

[winneythepooh7]

Just curious if anyone else is dating an "Only Son". Do you find yours to be unbelieveably spoiled by their Mom? And to the point where they won't do certain things cuz they know their mom will do it for them? In my case, he has both his mom AND grandmother doing stuff for him. I love his family though and his mom admits to me that he is a "baby" and "milks her" so it is okay.

[shimmer728]

My boyfriend is an only son (and only child). While he's pretty helpless, as most men are, I don't think it's because he's a mama's boy. I think he just knows that he can't do anything without me. :D

[winneythepooh7]

Yeah, I kinda feel the same way. His friends have actually told me that I've kinda helped him get out of his own way in a sense. He's even started dressing good because he has me to go shopping with now. He comments to me at least once a weekend that he never went shopping EVER as much as he goes now that he met me :D.

[Alexsy]

for what it's worth, my mom is a spoiler. ohhh man, this is *especiallly* true about shopping. she would come home with like, 5 shirts that were great, but that i had no idea why i had them. i was like "ummm ... nice shirts ... ?" and she was like, "they were on sale!"

oh, and she also spoiles me with food. every time i come home, "you're not eating enough! eat! eat!" yeah. it's pretty cool.

but i like to think i'm not a brat as a result. i like to think i'm a pretty likable only child.

[wordsmith]

Come to think of it, nearly every guy I've ever dated has been either an only son, or an only child, period. Strange.

[SunDevil]

I am an only son, and I am surprised I can survive on my own.

My Mom still does my laundry 90% of the time, and I live 300 miles from home. But I did it all by myself for the 6 years I lived in Arizona. And she cleans everything when she visits.

I don't know how to cook, make doctors appointments, and a bunch of other stuff that was just taken care of when I was growing up.

[Alexsy]

I don't know how to cook

man, i'm totally screwed in this department too. and it's killing whatever budget i try to have for myself ... and it isnt good health-wise either.

[wordsmith]

My ex BF (an only son) has never been to a barber to have his hair cut. His mommy has always done it, and still does. Even though he lives seventy miles away from her. He'll make the trip home so she can cut his hair.

[pisces2473]

What a loser. He's NEVER had a barber cut his hair? That's supposed to be a big deal for a little boy--his first barber's trip! At least it was for my brother, lol. I bet his hair sucks too, mom's don't cut all that stylish unless they are pros.

Words, does she have a bowl big enough for his head now? :p

ETA: this wasn't Seattle boy, was it?

[Desiderata]

Just to reinforce the stereotype, I am an only son. And my mom sends me care packages on a bi-monthly basis. Though its now become total overkill "are you eating enough" "yah, i made some chunky soup from the can, jsut easier that way" "alright, i'll send you some"... I open the package, about 40 cans! "thanks for the soup mom" "they were on sale" haha

It's great, i'll be so disappointed if it ever ends... nothing like a 20lb box of tide being sent across the country for ya in the mail. Yah I know, its ridiculous, but always seems to have something I need. Always feels like christmas at my hosue, its great. Though I dread the day I ever reproduce, can't even begin to imagine all the crap that'll be in the mail, yikes.

PS-if there any any females with a decent sense of fashion looking to help out a poor fellow, drop me a line, since the queer eye guy's don't come up to canada (and my fashion sense is apparently stuck somewhere in the 90's)

[stonemonkey]

PS-if there any any females with a decent sense of fashion looking to help out a poor fellow, drop me a line, since the queer eye guy's don't come up to canada (and my fashion sense is apparently stuck somewhere in the 90's)

Haha, I know how that feels dude. You saying there's something wrong with the 90s?

Incidentally, they tried to make an Australian version of queer eye and it was a total flop.

[Desiderata]

Not at all, I have no problem with the 90's.... its' the women whom I'm trying to DATE who have the problem!

i'd sign up to do that show in a heartbeat, they do good work

[stonemonkey]

i'd sign up to do that show in a heartbeat, they do good work

AND you get expensive clothes and stuff for free AND they renovate your home, it's a pretty good deal!

[J-girl]

PS-if there any any females with a decent sense of fashion looking to help out a poor fellow, drop me a line, since the queer eye guy's don't come up to canada (and my fashion sense is apparently stuck somewhere in the 90's)

UMM HULLO! Next time you are in T-Dot- I'll give you a makeover. I Love giving makeovers.

I transformed my ex from geek to chic lol.

Also, TLC's what not to wear were in Toronto sometime last year. Watch that show, it's a lot better than queer eye. Stacey and Clinton Rock!

[wordsmith]

ETA: this wasn't Seattle boy, was it?

Hah, no. That guy had other issues, couldn't cut his apron strings fast enough!


Des, actually, my mom does stuff like that, or at least, did when I was living far away and near no loved ones. She's just like that by nature. She still does the "come out for dinner, I know you're not eating right" thing. Which I typically take her up on, as a. I am poor, and b. I enjoy hanging out with my parents because they are cool. I think that's different, though, than not being able to do anything for yourself because your mom has always done it. It's not like I'll starve if she doesn't feed me. But it's sure nice (and appreciated) when she does.

P.S. I have no style advice. I fear I am woefully un-stylish. I just like my guys in (clean) jeans and t-shirts.

[heatherf]

My husband is an only child/only son and he's nothing like this crap you guys describe. I'm counting my blessings....... ;)

For the guys on here that are only sons- when you are dating women....do you look for ones that could specifically fill the role of your mother? You know, the girl that will do your cooking/cleaning/laundry?

[LakeJay]

My husband is an only child/only son and he's nothing like this crap you guys describe. I'm counting my blessings....... ;)

For the guys on here that are only sons- when you are dating women....do you look for ones that could specifically fill the role of your mother? You know, the girl that will do your cooking/cleaning/laundry?

I'm not an only child but I am an only son. Actually the baby of the family. I definitely am not looking for someone to fill the mother role so to speak. I wouldn't mind a girl who could a little since my last gf didn't cook at all. Being neat would be nice but I am more than willing to do cleaning and laundry. With all that said, my mom does kick ass. :huge:

I don't know if this is odd but growing up in house and even now, my dad does all the cleaning and house stuff while my mother does the cooking and the administrative duties (bills, etc.). It's weird but my dad actually had a heart to heart with me when I was a teenager about doing my share of work around the house and how that it's going to be helpful when I am married. He specifically showed me how to iron clothes and shine shoes.

[Alexsy]

For the guys on here that are only sons- when you are dating women....do you look for ones that could specifically fill the role of your mother? You know, the girl that will do your cooking/cleaning/laundry?

well, i havent been on a date in ... ok, let's not even go there, but no, it's not important to me to have someone to fill the role of my mother. i'd love to date someone who liked to cook, though, partly because it would probably inspire me to start cooking myself.

but in terms of cleaning and laundry? i definitely do that myself.

"do you cook and clean" is not a requirment on my "characteristics of someone alex would date" list.

[heatherf]

Lake- That's really similar to how my husband and I do things. I do the washing dishes/cooking/cleaning bathrooms/laundry/vacuuming/bills (Greg isn't too savvy with money- but I'm teaching him stuff here and there). My husband puts the dishes away/takes out trash/cleans our kitty's room/cooks sometimes/etc. We share a lot of the responsibilities, and it makes things great. Since becomming pregnant though- some things are much more difficult for me (lifting heavy objects in general)- and my husband does a TON more now than he did before.

[Alexsy]

I don't know if this is odd but growing up in house and even now, my dad does all the cleaning and house stuff while my mother does the cooking and the administrative duties (bills, etc.). It's weird but my dad actually had a heart to heart with me when I was a teenager about doing my share of work around the house and how that it's going to be helpful when I am married. He specifically showed me how to iron clothes and shine shoes.

Lake: i dont think that's weird at all, and honestly, i think it's extremely cool.

[shimmer728]

Ha, my father doesn't do shit around the house. I love him, but he's......well, he's helpless. If my mom doesn't pack his lunch for him in the morning, he doesn't eat that day. Seriously. And forget about laundry, ironing and cleaning. He does do all the "manly" work around the house, though, like mowing the lawn and stuff.

And while my dad is not an only child, he IS an only son. Hmmm.

[wordsmith]

Hah. My dad is a moron about this stuff. He, too, is an only son (who's mom did a LOT by way of reinforcing the "You shouldn't have to do [fill in the blank], you're a boy" mentality. Way to go, grandma). The thing is, he's NOT helpless. He could do all this. He just won't.

He claims it's not that he thinks it's women's work to do the cleaning or cooking or laundry, it's just that if it comes down to him having to do it, he won't prioritize it. But really, it's that he doesn't think he should HAVE to do it. I'm pretty sure this has rubbed off onto both my brothers, too. After many years of power struggles, my mom generally just does the crap herself...because she suffers more waiting around for him to lift a finger, and she hates stuff piled up, so she'll just do it herself. Of course, this is exactly the ploy. Leave it long enough, and the wife will give up and just do it.

[shimmer728]

My mom always told me that men need to be trained, and she didn't train my dad properly when they were first married. :D

[wordsmith]

That's what my mom said, too, and also that she was up against the brick wall of my grandma at the time, who, at 20 years old, she was no real match for.

[WeirdBrake]

He claims it's not that he thinks it's women's work to do the cleaning or cooking or laundry, it's just that if it comes down to him having to do it, he won't prioritize it. But really, it's that he doesn't think he should HAVE to do it. I'm pretty sure this has rubbed off onto both my brothers, too. After many years of power struggles, my mom generally just does the crap herself...because she suffers more waiting around for him to lift a finger, and she hates stuff piled up, so she'll just do it herself. Of course, this is exactly the ploy. Leave it long enough, and the wife will give up and just do it.

... proving once again that men are smarter than women, which is why we became the dominant gender. :huge: :evil: :p

[wordsmith]

Wouldn't work with me. I'm ten MILLION times more stubborn than my mom. That place would be SQUALOR and I still wouldn't touch it, if it were my power struggle.

[WeirdBrake]

Wouldn't work with me. I'm ten MILLION times more stubborn than my mom. That place would be SQUALOR and I still wouldn't touch it, if it were my power struggle.

You haven't seen MY apartment. :twisted:

[MetFanL]

Wouldn't work with me. I'm ten MILLION times more stubborn than my mom. That place would be SQUALOR and I still wouldn't touch it, if it were my power struggle.

I'm like your mom, words. The stress of looking at filth is worse than the way it affects my pride to "give in" to the messy culprit. I just can't stand looking at filth day in and day out... It makes me so tense.

This sh*t used to go down with my old roommate. I would pick stuff up and clean, collect all her dirty cups, plates w/ half eaten food, shoes, and anything else she left all over the house and put them on her bed. Now, you say big deal, but she was lazy and also didn't make her bed, so it all went on the sheets she had to sleep in every night. If she wanted to live in filth, she got it.

Tough when you share a bed w/ the messy culprit, but there are ways to put that sh*t in their personal space.

[shimmer728]

... proving once again that men are smarter than women, which is why we became the dominant gender.

Come on, sweetie. Who's wearin' the pants today? :D

[WeirdBrake]

Come on, sweetie. Who's wearin' the pants today? :D

Apparently, we both are. :huge:

[steph78]

Ha, my father doesn't do shit around the house. I love him, but he's......well, he's helpless. If my mom doesn't pack his lunch for him in the morning, he doesn't eat that day. Seriously. And forget about laundry, ironing and cleaning. He does do all the "manly" work around the house, though, like mowing the lawn and stuff.

And while my dad is not an only child, he IS an only son. Hmmm.


This is so my dad! He works really hard OUTSIDE, like taking care of the yard and the cars and stuff, but inside he would be totally lost without my mom. I am not kidding, he barely knows how to use the microwave (mom used to have to leave him step-by-step instructions with a TV dinner if she was out of town for a day. One time my mom had to have knee surgery when I was in fourth grade and my dad relied on nine-year-old me to make all meals that did not involve grilling meat outside on the patio. I think we alternated between grilled chicken and grilled cheese sandwiches for about two weeks because it was all we knew how to make between the two of us! My mom packs his suitcase for him when he goes out of town on business. Mom both cooks dinner and cleans up afterwards. Mom shops for all of Dad's clothes.

Growing up in this house, I got a really old-fashioned sense of gender roles, so I got married thinking this was how I was supposed to do things for my husband on top of my full time job. THANK GOODNESS my husband is like LakeJay and learned to cook, clean, and do laundry for himself (and really does it). I work later than him so he honestly cooks more than me, although I still do more of the cleaning.

[Desiderata]

I'm definately not looking for a mom replacement, but definately someone who will be a good mom to the kids... and don't get me wrong, I hate the laundry/dishes/etc crap, but will do it because that whole "living in filth" ploy that seems to work for most guys just ain't me. gotta be clean. I want a PARTNER in crime, not someone who will mop up after the fact.