Drop Everything and Run

[kearney32862]

The Quarter Life Crisis summary statement was emailed to me the other day. I thought it was amazing how accurate it was. I have been going through some issues as well. I just graduated college and completed my service in the military. For the first time in 24 years I am completely free.
I got a decent job, but I am suddenly afraid that I am grounding myself to quickly. There are so many things that I have always wanted to do, and I sense things like kids, mortgage, responsability, lurking around the corner.
Right now I am considering quitting my job and taking up a language study course in France. I feel this overwhelming urge to drop everything and run. Is it worth dropping my career path and running, or is this just a temporary crisis? I am not sure... Has anyone else got this urge? How did you deal with it?

[M4A1]

What kind of job? And, it doesn't sound like you have anything that need to be paid off, what's holding you back?

[Rederin]

Hello, I'm new to this website, too, and it is cool. I feel frustrated, confused, and all that wonderful stuff. I've been out of school for 2 years, and I've hated all my jobs, and I hate the town I live in, and I'm feeling a little trapped, and I think I'm angry because the epiphany never came, if you know what I mean. Not like I'm qualified to give advice, but I'm going to anyway. There's no one right way to live your life. That's what makes it so hard! I know I wish I had traveled more, and I already feel bogged down by bills and responsibilites, and I'm only 24. I have some friends who saved up money and went on a 3 week long road trip all the way to Alaska. I wish I felt that free! If you can swing it, and you won't worry so much you don't enjoy yourself (no point playing hookey if you're going to feel guilty), then go for it. And have fun!

[kearney32862]

I worked really hard to get to where I am, and I feel like dropping everything like that may invalidate it. I would go, then come back with no job, no money, no savings, no place to live. Maybe I am just thinking to much.

[life2b]

Jeremy,
I know exactly what you mean about thinking too much!! I do it all the time - but, as many people on this board have determined, the only person who can make the decisions for you is you. I have also had the "run and drop everything" symptoms, but like Rederin said, she too feels bogged down already - I'm newly married, and I have to take my husband's feelings into consideration. He is 6 years older than I am (30 - I'm 24) and I asked him last night if he ever had a QLC - he said no!! So, not everyone much "think too much" or mill over their lives as much as we do, but that doesn't mean we don't have the same kinds of dreams, desires, or passions - we're just taking a little longer to get there and probably getting more out of the journey.

To the idea of leaving everything - I had to make the decision in college as to whether to study abroad in my last semester or to graduation - I chose to study abroad, even though it meant delaying my time away from the real world (I was actually anxious to get out in this crap - can you believe that?!?!? Ha - too bad I couldn't forsee the future!!). But, I decided to do it because it was the only time in my life that I would do it and not have to worry about too many things. I was dating my now husband at the time, and we had been together 2yrs already - I had those "is this the one?" feelings and never really new - so, I decided to take the leap and figure it out by going away for 6 months.... so, I took my last semester of college in England, met some wonderful people, traveled in 10 countries and had a great time... and I don't regret EVER doing it... but, there are some things that happened as a result: 1) I missed my college graduation - so, when I came back, I didn't have that "transition" time - I just started work and moved to a new city; 2) I had no way to contact my friends - they had all moved and didn't leave info with me or any of our mutual contacts - that was extremely hard to deal with and 3) I had no money. So, there were some trade offs, but I still had Jeff (boyfriend - now hubby) and our time apart made me realize just how important he was to me - I also learned that I could travel across Europe on my own and if I could do that, I could do just about anything. I learned to start over, as I'm learning now - with a fresh outlook. Once I was thrown into the "real world" of work, responsibilities, worries, etc, etc, etc - I was so grateful for the time I spent abroad because it gave me many happy memories and things to cherish. I wouldn't have had that had I not taken the chance.

Anyway, this is a very long post, but I just wanted to let you know that you'll have to weigh the pros vs cons and consider your trade offs - just follow your heart - really dig deep inside and figure out what will make you happy - even if it's just a little tiny change at first (that's what I'm doing now - small changes to transition a bit slower).

Good look!! Feel free to contact me if you would like to talk:) Thanks!!

[M4A1]

So you worked hard and got to where you are now. Good, good hustle.

Do you not like where you are now? Is it not what you expected? Is it too routine? Little challenge?

What's the hold up? It's your life, man. You are in control. The period can be marked right here if you want.

If nothing else, you have 2 things: College Degree and veteran status.

The only thing that can invalidate them is you. There's a solution to all. So you don't like this job? Well, you can always come back to a similiar one. Hell, you have done it once. Who's to stop you?

You?

[Rederin]

You're not thinking too much. I think there are a lot of people who are torn between the desire for stability and adventure. There are ways that you can travel and work at the same time, have you thought about that? I've heard about companies that help the working traveler. Maybe someone will see this and be kind enough to give you specifics. Or you could save up money and go. How long do you want to stay at your current job? You could coordinate your traveling and resigning your current position. Anyway, if you want to do it, you'll figure it out. Maybe just go for a couple of weeks every year? I guess I shouldn't encourage you to give up a job you like though. I'm not very career oriented, so I cant put myself in your shoes.

[squirmy]

Hi Jeremy (and life, and Rederin),

Welcome to the board! I can't determine how inundated you are with your current dilemma, but earlier this year I was where you are now. After getting a masters in my current profession, I found out shortly thereafter that I wasn't really enjoying it too much. So the question was, do I try to love it or just leave it? I sure didn't want to be in that place when there was an aching inside of me to do something else, go somewhere else.

At this point, I've decided to leave it. I'm taking the plunge and taking next semester off (I'm a teacher). I have no job lined up right now - all I know is that I want to reinvent myself and try to discover what it is I really enjoy doing. I know it's not going to be easy, especially in our economic mess, but I've been trying to mentally prepare myself for the last couple of months as far as having no job, no money, no nothing for a while. I'm sure it'll be a lot harder when it actually comes. But you know, I'm preparing for that, too.

The good thing is that like you, I've worked hard. So I know I'll still have a job to come back to if I ever decide to return. I don't know if your job is like that as well - hopefully so.

Anyway, the point is that we're young. I've always wanted to learn French. What a cool language! :cool: And besides, if there's ever a Frenchman (or woman) who wants to learn some English, you can be available for that. :p Or I'm sure you can probably find odd jobs here and there, thus enriching your overseas journey.

Hope something in here helps.

[kearney32862]

It's not that I dont like where I am. Its that I am just not sure I am ready to be there. I look around at work, and everybody is reading all these job related manuals in their free time. "Lean Thinking", "Raising Productivity" etc. The directors sit smugly at the meetings, drinking coffee out of their MBA mugs. It seems like these people define their life with their work.
For me, work is something I do 40 hours a week, to support my real life, not the other way around. I dont want to be consumed by "the race", as some people call it. To tell you the truth, I dont even want to watch it. I really just feel like I dont fit in.

[squirmy]

How long have you been thinking about it? Maybe, you just need more time to mull it over?

And I hear you on not feeling like you fit in. Just about all of my co-workers are 40+ years old, many with grandchildren, who can't think of anything else to do besides teach.

Maybe we both need to drop everything and just go surfing or something.

[TranquilSkye]

i really hate not liking where i am and not liking where i could be. it sounds like i'm just doomed to be miserable regardless of where i am lol. now i've never believed that a job should be "just something you do 40 hours a week." you should enjoy what you do and if you don't you're in the wrong place. now of course there may be circumstances keeping you from where you'd like to be, but you get what i mean. you say you don't feel like you fit in and maybe you're right. maybe where you are right now isn't the right fit for you and thats not a bad thing. are you worried about making a change? sure change is a little scary because its new, but its usually a good thing. take the plunge and go for it.

[NoDirection]

Jeremy, I know exactly how you feel. I can't stand the rat race of the working world. You have to struggle so hard to be a part of something that doesn't want you, doesn't need you and will go on just fine without you. It's so harsh, but unless you're independently wealthy what are you gonna do? I've been thinking about leaving it and travelling abroad as well, but I feel obligated to stay and work and build a future. I don't want to come back with nothing and have to start over again. But the experience may be worth it. I guess you'll never know unless you try it. Just remember there are no right or wrong decisions in life(except the obvious ones). The important thing is to make a decision and go with it. For now I've decided to stay here and work towards my "career" goals. We'll see how long that lasts. I'm not very career oriented either, but right now it's all I've got. The other thing that stops me from going is that I feel I won't find what I'm looking for. I've found that the things you do and places you go in life aren't as important as the people you share them with. If you have to leave someone behind it might not be worth it. Having meaningful relationships is the only way to find true happiness. As for thinking too much, I have the same problem. It's just a function of your personality type. Check out a book called the wisdom of the enneagram, it's about the different personality types found in all of us. It's helps you understand how your own thought process works and why you view things the way you do.