Furniture Porn

[NoWomanNoCry]

If you have a bizarre sense of humor, this site is HILARIOUS!

http://www.altervistas.com/sites/weird/154

[shinyleaf]

LOL, that is realllly nerdy!

"Wild Wicker"..
a lot of thought went into this site, oddly enough!

[Winter Storm]

Access denied at work. Will have to check out at home.

[mishl982]

I feel so dirty for actually checking that site out! :p

[biodork]

Denied at my work too...

too bad i have dial-up at home right now and really try to avoid the internet if I can! :(

[capella]

Heh, I wrote a commentary about this exact site for my college newspaper in 2002. I'll post it below if you care to partake.

Furniture porn not as sick as you’d think
Commentary

by ------------
April 21, 2002

I have not, even remotely, obtained the level of arrogance required to believe that I have seen or heard it all in my brief 21 years of age.
However, there are times when I see something that makes me think, "Wow, I have just about seen or heard it all." This is often followed quickly by the further afterthought of, "wait, I really, really hope not."

I will begin with one word: Furniture porn. OK, that was two words but who's counting?

Before I explain, let's follow this slight tangent so my path of enlightenment of sorts can be fully explored. For the record, I am NOT a sick pervert who looks up weird sex fetishes in my spare time. And for all you sick perverts who do, no offense.

One thing that I have been known to do in my spare time is watch movies. I love movies. I have a passion for films. Celluloid is super.

So every Friday I religiously read Roger Ebert's reviews online. He writes the best reviews. When I write movie reviews, Ebert is my muse.

I was reading through various reviews when I stumbled upon an interesting link. I clicked. I came upon another interesting link. Again I clicked. And there it was. Furniture porn.

Now, I know what you must be thinking. Don't. It isn't some sick, twisted fetish, because let's face it, there are some very sick, twisted fetishes out there.

What it is can be described as a hilarious spoof of hardcore porn sites. It's a site where the hot, young babes just happen to be chairs of assorted varieties.

The perpetrators of this site are a North Carolina based comedy troupe, called the Van Gogh-Goghs. They have obviously had their share of hardcore site viewing pleasure judging from the furniture porn site.

It looks just like a real porn site except for the fact that there are no naked ladies offering to dance on your desktop and popup windows are not attacking your computer.

How would I know if it looks the same? This is a question you may be asking. Well, let's just say that I have this friend, her name is, um, May, yeah that's it.

May has, at times, found the need for manipulating photos and creating various documents in very expensive computer programs. So May has spent countless hours looking for pirated software, which I, of course, in no way condone because, as we all know, it is far more ethical to throw hard earned, barely-above-minimum wage dollars at large software conglomerates.

But that's another commentary altogether.

Anyone who, like May, has spent time looking for pirated software knows that coming across porn sites is entirely unavoidable. So that is how I speak from experience when I say that the furniture porn site creator knows his stuff.

For example, the site has its own version of a "warning, you must be 18 to enter" page. The requirements include, rule no. 5, "I am not a cop, pig, fascist pig, fuzz, narc, CIA spook, Royal Canadian Kilted Yaksman, or member of any law enforcement or debt-collection agency," and rule no. 6, "I acknowledge that I have been duly warned, and that I voluntarily consent and agree to view material, images, and text of an explicit nature that may be considered offensive, morally objectionable and in questionable taste because I am one sick puppy."

When you enter the world of furniture porn you have many options. There's the Charlie's Angels spread with the director's chairs bearing the names of Diaz, Barrymore and Liu.

You've got your amateur seating spread and the bondage set, the obligatory office chair layout and, let's not forget, the hot outdoor lawn chair action.

There are many diversified captions that read, "Somebody's gonna need re-upholstering after this hot time!" and "Debbi puts the 'love' in 'loveseat!'" to go along with the pictures depicting different positions and what have you.

They have a perfected real porn site replica, right down to the god awful flash ads.

So what's my point? My point is porn should be laughed at, real or spoof, because the world takes porn way too seriously.

That's not to say there aren't serious porn related issues, but for the most part it's all in good, um, pleasure.

What someone wants to do in the privacy of his or her den is his or her business. Just make sure to keep the keyboard clean because other people may need to use it sometime.

The next time you're bored and looking for a laugh, search for furniture porn. I will never again be able to sit without having a nice chuckle, or at the very least a bemused smile on my face.

[Heroic1]

My friend Sophia loves that site. I am too scared to check it out. :redface:

[Alexsy]

L-freaking-O-L. that was a literal laugh-out-loud, too. who THOUGHT of that?!?!?