Tired, Depressed, and 2nd Guessing Myself

[bmy78]

Okay, so here's my story.

I'm 26 and graduated with a B.A. in political science roughly 4 years ago. I planned on going to law school during that time but I tanked on the LSAT. Depressed and disappointed, I started looking for jobs and found one in the online marketing department of a book publishing company.

My commute is long, the pay isn't great and, though the books we publish are interesting I feel like I'm in a dead-end job, making nothing and going nowhere real fast.

One of the more nagging things is that I'm still living at home with my dad. He's cool and we generally stay away from each other and have our own space but still, I can't help but feel I should be living on my own by now.

Also, I would really like to move-in with/get married to my girlfriend but I feel financially unable to do so.

I've been thinking about going back to school for teaching h.s. social studies. The program I'm looking at would be about a year full-time. Problem is, I would have to borrow money to do this...and I would have to leave my job.

I'm terrified to do this. I'm not even sure if teaching would be for me. I went to my old h.s. to observe and though I liked what I saw, I'm not sure I could do it everyday.

I'm completely confused--should I go for teaching or try to rejuvenate my idea of going back to law school? I understand law school is no joke. But I don't want my life to be a joke, either.

Any comments/ideas? Please give me some insight. I'm depressed to no end.

[lawya girl]

See my thread entitled "I Suck", lol. I know you know that law school is "no joke" but I just want to emphasize how VERY CAREFULLY you should consider it before jumping in. 70% of the legal profession leaves the profession entirely within the first 5 years - there's a reason for that. There's not a lot of job satisfaction in the law. Now, I'm not saying you might not find it. You might work at a smaller firm or for the govt or something and LOVE your job. It all depends on your reasons for considering the law I suppose. Maybe you can elaborate?

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I can sympathize with being tired and depressed. We're here when you want to vent.

[WeirdBrake]

I planned on going to law school during that time but I tanked on the LSAT.

Define "tanked." You got a score so low that it would have precluded you from getting into any ABA-approved law school in the country? Or you got a score that was a lot lower than what you had hoped?

You should know, of course, that the LSAT does not predict success or happiness in the legal profession, so if your score was simply lower than what you had hoped, that alone shouldn't necessarily discourage you from law. If your score was so low that it would have precluded you from getting into any ABA-approved law school, then you have to ask yourself carefully why that was. The LSAT is the kind of test that smart people can easily bomb if they don't treat it with the appropriate level of seriousness. You have to study and practice on old tests a month before you take it, and many times a prep course is a good idea. If you think maybe this was the reason you got a bad score, then law school is still not out of the realm of possibility. You could always take it again and study more effectively this time and do much better. Given that you took the LSAT more than three years ago, your old score is no longer valid, so admissions committees wouldn't even know about it.

That being said, lawya girl is exactly right: You should think VERY carefully before going on this path. Under no circumstances should you decide to go to law school because you're unsure of what to do with your life. That seems to be the dominant theme for almost everyone who ends up hating the legal profession. Go to law school only because you want to be a lawyer.

[bmy78]

I got a 145 about 5 years ago.

I did fairly well on arguments, so-so on reading comprehension and the games were my toughest type of question. Studied a lot, did a lot of questions. Took a Princeton Review course, which only jumped my score a couple of points. I think my problem was that I didn't take enough tests. Though I methodically worked a number of questions, I only took about 4 timed tests. Looking back, I should've taken more timed tests.

I've already applied to a post-baccalaureate teaching program near me. It would take about a year to complete (w/ taking courses in the summer). I'm pretty much a shoo-in but the program is up for review by the state (they do that every few years) and they won't officially accept me until the program passes. So that's giving me some stress.

Add that to the fact that I'm not too sure if teaching would be for me. I've always loved history and teaching high school social studies was never something I thought about seriously (I always wanted to make more money). I'm not sure if it's for me. I'm not sure if I would like the kids. I'm not sure if I could deal with that day in and day out. Plus, the demand for social studies teachers isn't very high in my state. Maybe I'm just reading too much into it and I should just not overanalyze and go for it.

Plus, the idea of not working for a year or so is scary. Since I was 16 the longest time I've been without a job was 4 months (when I went to go study abroad).

[WeirdBrake]

You're probably doing the right thing by shying away from law school. It sounds like you studied for the LSAT quite a bit. It just may be that the LSAT is an insurmountable obstacle for you as far as law school is concerned. I would focus on other possible paths like you're doing.

Hang in there. As you can see, plenty of people on here are dealing with the same types of issues. :)

[wordsmith]

That being said, lawya girl is exactly right: You should think VERY carefully before going on this path. Under no circumstances should you decide to go to law school because you're unsure of what to do with your life. That seems to be the dominant theme for almost everyone who ends up hating the legal profession. Go to law school only because you want to be a lawyer.


I'd also carry this same advice over to teaching...it's something that people tend to do when they can't think of anything else, and that's setting yourself up for disaster, too.

[ugarachel82]

I'd also carry this same advice over to teaching...it's something that people tend to do when they can't think of anything else, and that's setting yourself up for disaster, too.


Well stated. I was going to comment on this from a teacher's perspective, but I couldn't think of a better way to say it. Good going. :)

[bmy78]

Well, I don't think the LSAT is insurmountable--I can get the questions right, it just takes me a little longer. I can hit a 165 during an untimed test. But I think my nerves tend to overpower me. Also, I've heard many people who've jumped 20+ points when they studied.

That being said, I don't think I want to go to law school anyway. Teaching, on the other hand, might be more up my alley. My girlfriend is a high school social studies teacher and I have a couple of other friends who are teachers as well. At least they think I would be good at it.

I like history--I like political science. I like to study and to research. I don't know if I would like the kids, however. I'm not sure if I will be able to teach everyday. I guess the only way to know is to go out and try it.

I don't know. I just feel sooooooooo lost. :googly:

[WeirdBrake]

Have you ever thought of going the route of teaching history or political science at the college level? That would probably involve getting a masters and PhD, but there would definitely be a lot of opportunities to study and do research along the way, not to mention as a professor. And your students would be older and more mature.

[capella]

I'm gonna chime in with Words and Rachel (sp?) and say do NOT go into teaching if you are simply feeling lost. It's like going to grad school because you don't know what else to do. Only it's more tiring and you won't get a degree out of it. :p
To reiterate my life story (sorry) I moved from a "professional" career into teaching and it was a good move for me (except for the tired thing recently but summer break is 15 days away, but, eh, who's counting?). It was ONLY a good move, though, because I love kids (yeah even after this year with 13-year-olds) and it's a fulfilling thing for me. I feel like I'm doing something to help the world, future generations, and yaddayaddayadda. ;)
Take a deep, long, wide, gazing across the galaxy kind of look into why you feel like you want to do this before you make any decisions. That old saying, those who can do and those who can't teach is a load of friggin' baloney. I'd like to see them steer the helm in my class for a day. Kids will eat you alive if you aren't there for the right reason. :)
That's just my 2 cents (I feel like I've left my checking account in here recently, hehehe, I'll shut up. For now. Unless I don't feel like it anymore :evil:

[whatthe!]

what weirdbrake said about teaching college is true....i teach at a couple colleges and you don't have to deal with the behavioral issues that you do in high school. generally speaking, if they're in college, they want to be there. plus you get to meet some really interesting students and can talk about really fun topics.

BUT and this is a REALLY, REALLY big but...it is EXTREMEMLY difficult to find a full-time job. i teach part-time at 2 schools. i've applied and applied for FT work, but i've gotten 11 rejection letters and counting. the money's bad (but that's the case w/most teachers), no benis, and it's a lot of work (but again that's the case w/most teachers).

not to say don't try it, but just as many downsides (though different) to college as high school.

i do wish you luck and i totally understand the frustration. i'm constantly questioning whether i want to stick with such unstable work or go find something else to do.....problem is, i have NO idea what the something else might be.

[OpticalWasp]

Just letting you know I'm reading along. Your thread's pretty interesting. Good luck with whatever you decide!

[jcm12]

don't be bothered by the social stigma of living at home still, not everyone has a cakewalk into their life/career paths...

also, only you can ultimately decide what you want to do, whether its law school or teaching or whatever. You said it yourself, don't let 2nd guessing kill your motivation that might happen to lead you into a career you'd have a passion for and enjoy doing.

Some of the most successful people in the world had very rough beginnings...

[bmy78]

Well, the post-baccalaureate teaching program that I've applied to looks like it will no longer exist come the Fall, because the university couldn't get their paperwork in to the state in time (the state reviews and renews teaching programs every few years) so now I find myself in a last-minute flurry applying to a couple of nearby schools. But my plans for finishing at the end of Spring '06 doesn't look like it will happen. Hopefully I could teach in Fall '06 and find a teaching job afterwards.

As for a getting a Ph.D, I think I would love graduate school. Unfortunately, I also feel the need to "get on with my life" and move in/get married to my girlfriend. I don't see how both are possible. I'd probably would want to get a Ph.D. in political science, global affairs, or something related in those fields. I don't know, maybe both are possible, but how can one afford a decent living on a teaching assistantship (if I'm lucky to receive that)? A doctorate takes at least 4 years of study, and I'm 26 (soon to be 27 in a few months) and if I start the application process I'll be 28 when I start. So that means I'll at least be 32 when I finish and I'd probably have to move out of my area (and I'm not sure if my gf will follow me).

[wordsmith]

Well, there ARE people who get married and go to grad school...it's not necessarily mutually exclusive.

This is going to come out sounding not very nice, probably, but I don't mean for it to, and I don't know your situation...but I'm wondering, if you have trepidation about your girlfriend choosing not to move for some life path you might be on, are you sure you're ready to marry her?

Re: the teaching, not to be the voice of doom, because in my experience, you only know when you try it. But I love my subject matter and love working with kids...but somehow didn't love teaching my subject matter to a classroom of them.

[WeirdBrake]

I'm 26 (soon to be 27 in a few months) and if I start the application process I'll be 28 when I start. So that means I'll at least be 32 when I finish

How old will you be in six years if you DON'T go for a PhD?

[bmy78]

I suppose it can be done. It just seems incredibly difficult, almost to the point of impossibility.

And I suppose it's not so much that she wouldn't follow me, it's that I would feel pretty guilty forcing her to give up so much (her family, friends and stable teaching job are all here) for the sake of "what I want to do."

And a doctorate would just seem to take forever to complete.

[wordsmith]

And I suppose it's not so much that she wouldn't follow me, it's that I would feel pretty guilty forcing her to give up so much (her family, friends and stable teaching job are all here) for the sake of "what I want to do."


Yeah, but if you're in a relationship for the long haul, somebody's got to flex in a situation like that, and a teaching gig ranks among the most easily portable of jobs. Part of being half a couple is working with what your partner wants (or needs) to do.

[ATLWill]

Weird....about 9 months ago, I started thinking about going to law school.

I took a Kaplan Review Course but couldn't get my score in the range that I wanted... I kept getting about a 155-156, and I could never score higher.

As a result, I never sat for the exam and I put law school on an indefinite hold.

RIght now, I don't know what I want. I am a CPA and am currently doing project work.

I am burned out on this career, but my gut tells me that law isn't the answer, so I am still searching for another career choice.

My gut keeps telling me that I should teach high school kids and coach football, but I haven't had the guts to pull the trigger and do it.

[bmy78]

WeirdBrake and whatthe!, I'm actually considering going for a Ph.D. in political science. I think I would be happier in that environment. Though you mentioned it is tough finding a faculty position these days. Is that just for M.A. candidates or those with the doctorate?

[GetMeOuttaDC]

bmy - check your PMs.

[GetMeOuttaDC]

My gut keeps telling me that I should teach high school kids and coach football, but I haven't had the guts to pull the trigger and do it.

Is that because... the salaries are ridiculous?

If I ever marry rich, or marry someone who gets rich, I would loooove to teach preschool or Kindergarten. In the meantime, taking a 50+% paycut is just not an option. :(

I'm doing consulting/project work and hate it too.