Another newbie

[madlisa]

Hey all,
I just joined, I have been checking out all the threads and thought I fit it too well here. I am 28, single and going crazy like everyone else. I currently live in Atlanta, GA but I am moving to California in two months (not coming fast enough). I am not from the south. I grew up in Chicago, went to undergrad in Wisconsin, and grad school here in Atlanta. Now that I have unsuccessfully dated all of the single men (gay and straight) in Atlanta, it is time to move on to something new. The south is definitely not for me. I gave it five years and that was enough. Anyone else feel that way?
Just broke up with the boyfriend of 1.5 years last week, which explains why I am at home packing on a Friday night. Man I suck.
I am watching way too much t.v. and am so bored. I never made any good friends here. Actually, never made any good friends anywhere cuz I always had a damn boyfriend. Yeah, I am one of those. Don't worry though, I am in therapy and dealing with my crap. So that's is me so far. Gonna check and see what I tivo'd this week. Catch ya later.
lisa

[cornflakegirl]

welcome lisa!!

i have never lived in the south, but i know it is not for me. i am going to atlanta in a couple months to visit some family though. too hot there. where in cali are you going? are you packing for the move or fromthe break-up?

i recently . . . hmm, more like 9 months ago, moved back home & haven't made any friends. i have great coworkers, but i live so far from them all. it sucks having no friends nearby.

therapy is great. i was just talking about it today with some coworkers. funny, how just last night i thought to myself that it may be time to find a new therapist. signs all point to therapy.

glad you posted :)

[madlisa]

Wow, a move back home, eh? I am telling myself that if california doesn't work out then that's is my next step....to move back home to Chicago. My parents aren't there anymore, but I would be afraid to start hanging around with the dreaded highschool people again. Are you doing that? I would have to pretend like I know nobody and start over in the friend department.
So my therapist says that when I move I am going to have to start putting myself into those uncomfortable situations that I hate in order to make friends. Like when someone asks me to join them in a night out with groups of people and crap like that. I will have to suck it up and go instead of go home where it is comfortable and familiar. Or join a gym or some sports club thing. Man I hate it when she is right.
To me (this is just my little opinion folks) it feels like a time warp down here in Atlanta. There is incredilbe racism from both sides, lots of crime, the schools are ranked 50th in the country, and don't get me started on the religion factor. It's just too different than where i was raised. When I discovered that Atlanta was ranked in the BOTTOM ten of the best places to be single, it all made too much sense for me and I began packing my bags. And having a boyfriend is like a hobby for me. The guy I have been dating knew I was moving from the first date. We broke up cuz it was inevitable and because I am sick of his "best friend" (aka an ex-girlfriend) and had it with dealing with her shit.

[cornflakegirl]

so this guy was a 1.5 year hobby? wish i could stick with knitting that long :0

i don't hang out with any high school friends. i have one who still lives here, but we really don't have much in common. i did call her yesterday though soperhaps i'll see her sometime this year. i have not seen here since around new years & i can actually see her house from mine.

when i left san francisco to move home, in search of the better life :rolleyes:, my therapist & i talked about why this move would make things different, in terms of my social life & my social anxiety. i convinced myself it was gonna be different. i don't think i fooled her though.

the weather, religious fervor & overt racism of the south do not appeal to me.

[Starfish81]

ML, welcome to California, whenever you get here. Oh, welcome to the boards, too :)

[Lindz28]

Okay, I've never posted anything before, but I can relate to your situation in a way Lisa. I moved to FL about 2 years ago from OH. And I can confirm, that the North is better than the south. Things move too slow here and people here are just different. Anyway, my boyfriend of 4.5 years followed me down here and our relationship sucks. (It was great at the time of the move.) I have been trying to break up with him for so long, but I can't bring myself to do it because I have no other friends here. I have met a few people at work and they all already have their groups that they hang out with. And besides I feel stupid asking other girls to do something, I always feel like I'm asking them on a date or something. I hang out with my sister sometimes, but she is 19. I am 23. It's okay, but she even has more friends than me. I started seeing a therapist last week, it helped. But, apparently everyone down here has problems, because I can't get another appointment until the end of June. I have even tried different places. At this rate, I will attempt to solve my own problems and create even more chaos in my life.
Lindsey :googly:

[paiger81]

Okay, I've never posted anything before, but I can relate to your situation in a way Lisa. I moved to FL about 2 years ago from OH. And I can confirm, that the North is better than the south. Things move too slow here and people here are just different.

I just wanted to pop in to say that the North is NOT better than the South, and the South is NOT better than the North. It is all about personal preference.

Sorry, just get annoyed when people feel the need to claim one area is better than another. Each section of the US has it's good & bad points and to dismiss any section of it, is just idiotic & closeminded.

Ok, off my soap box.

[madlisa]

Okay, I never said one was better than the other, but yes they are very different ways of life and it just depends on what you prefer.
So Lindsey girl, sounds like we are kinda in the same situation. When I moved down to Atlanta 5 years ago, my long term boyfriend tagged along as well. It sucked so bad. It took me two more years with him in Atlanta to get rid of him. I finally realized that he was definitely not "the one". I did not have a whole lot of friends either, but that relationship was poison and I am so much the better for it. Trust me girl, you are wasting your time. You are wasting valuable dating years as we speak. After that, I did the match.com thing and it was so much fun to date casually and meet all sorts of people. Everyone does it man.
I have been trying to break up with my current boyfriend of 1.5 years every month, but he calls and I am lonely so I always go back. But I think I did it for real last week cuz I pleaded with him not to call me and let me get over him as quick as possible. I am moving in 2 months anyway. Yeah I am real lonely, but I feel good about it. It's a pain not to pick up the phone, but I am giving myself projects to do. I am finding that this message board stuff is becoming good therapy too. Don't ever pass up free therapy. I am going to rely on my younger sister too when I move to California. She has been living there for a year and that girl attracts friends like crazy whereever she goes. WE are so different. I am going to try my best to make my own friends, but it is good to know she is around, unlike here where I have no family......just ex-boyfriends. Ick.

[paiger81]

Okay, I never said one was better than the other, but yes they are very different ways of life and it just depends on what you prefer.

Oh, sweetie, I never was saying you said it, that's why I quoted the person who did, sorry for any mix up.

[J-girl]

I totally understand you newbies. IF you are not happy with your bf BREAK up and dont waste your valuable youth on a moron. You rather be single and flirting with everything that crosses your path than jump from one moron to the next.

I was with a guy for 4.5 years too and I finally had the courage to break up with him and these past 8-9 months have been really difficult for me but I am hapier single. I am also trying a lot of new things and I make friends real easy too but at this age it's still a production making plans with girlfriends since they are all busy with their own lifes.

Atleast you guys have soo many cities to choose from to move- in Canada Toronto is it (atleast for me). Like you all I find West coast too slow so I can't move there and applying to jobs in the US is real hard as well.

Oh well whine whine whine. Lets all cheer up! :)

[Deadend]

I totally understand you newbies. IF you are not happy with your bf BREAK up and dont waste your valuable youth on a moron. You rather be single and flirting with everything that crosses your path than jump from one moron to the next.

I was with a guy for 4.5 years too and I finally had the courage to break up with him and these past 8-9 months have been really difficult for me but I am hapier single. I am also trying a lot of new things and I make friends real easy too but at this age it's still a production making plans with girlfriends since they are all busy with their own lifes.

Atleast you guys have soo many cities to choose from to move- in Canada Toronto is it (atleast for me). Like you all I find West coast too slow so I can't move there and applying to jobs in the US is real hard as well.

Oh well whine whine whine. Lets all cheer up! :)

After listening to the laundry list of locations that Liz's aquaintences, family, and friends have ended up, it has occured to me that the US is just a really big big country compared to Canada. This is not something you can see on maps. Sure we have alot of empty space up north, but that's all it is.

Still though, don't try that "Only Toronto" BS. Goddamn Toronto people so afraid to find their way as far down the road as Oakville. Gimme a break, it's a big country.

Everybody I know that has moved to Montreal for the big city has absolutely loved it. The French factor makes it very unique and cosmopolitian and contrary to popular opinion you can get on just fine there without learning a word of French. Vancouver is supposed to be gorgeous and mild (and there's nothing slow about it, that would be the east coast), and now there's Calgary (where a couple of my friends are going, and possibly me), which is nothing short of a boom town that's now even bigger than Vancouver. In the slightly smaller catagory you also have Ottawa and Halifax, both of which are very fun cities. No way, Canada's not like the States, but we do have more than a few decent cities.

[J-girl]

I have applied to jobs in Montreal- they NEED you know KNOW french!!! Even if they dont say so in their job descriptions. Or you need to knoe someone who actually lives there to network etc. Either way I am always applying to other cities and stuff so I havent given up hope!

[Deadend]

Sometimes I wunder if we're programmed to wonder at this age.