Why do people not talk about their QLC?

[toffee]

What's so embarassing about it? In 'real life' no one really talks about suffering through the QLC. Luckily, the Internet provides some type of "safe place" with anonymousity so that 20-somethings and 30-somethings can discuss it. Case and point, I bumped into a social acquantence yesterday and we were catching up on things. He asked how I was doing and I told him that I'm just riding the wave of my QLC so to speak. He started laughing and said "are you really THAT bored with your life?"



:redface: um, yeah...he really made me feel like a loser


I guess he is 1 of the lucky ones in terms of not experiencing a QLC.

So it makes me wonder why it's so taboo to admit that you are feeling this way? Hmmmm.... :confused:

[24forever]

He may be lucky now, but I think he'll go through it eventually, or maybe we'll deal with middle age better than him b/c that's a huge change too.

[capella]

People react to change in different ways. Some people have problems assigning labels. It's just a transition period. It just happens to have a name: QLC. Call it what you want but it's the winds of change calling and everyone goes through it. I think the thing that irks me the most about this transitional time is that *some* people lose friends and it's a huge taboo thing to say you don't really know anyone... as if that makes you less of a person. I used to feel that way. But now I'm in the thinking mode that I'm just a cool chick undiscovered :rolleyes:

[24forever]

People react to change in different ways. Some people have problems assigning labels. It's just a transition period. It just happens to have a name: QLC. Call it what you want but it's the winds of change calling and everyone goes through it. I think the thing that irks me the most about this transitional time is that *some* people lose friends and it's a huge taboo thing to say you don't really know anyone... as if that makes you less of a person. I used to feel that way. But now I'm in the thinking mode that I'm just a cool chick undiscovered :rolleyes:


I think losing friends happens to a lot of people. But we gain them back, or become close to people again. I have some friends it's just hard to relate to b/c we're going through different things and b/c of that we feel like we can't chat about some stuff.

[shimmer728]

[QUOTE=toffee] He asked how I was doing and I told him that I'm just riding the way of my QLC so to speak. He started laughing and said "are you really THAT bored with your life?"
QUOTE]

He's probably just insecure himself.

[J-girl]

Well to tell you the truth QLC is just a label. About a couple of years I never took the "QLC" too seriously either but I had just graduated from University and i remember at my ex work one of my coworkers asked me (she is about 32-35) if I knew what I was going to do after that job finished as I was in contract, I told her I have no IDEA. I am just so confused. I felt like a loser saying that but she said "dont worry this is a very very hard transition period from college to real life, take your time and dont stress yourself. I have been there."

The point I am trying to make is everyone goes through that and I openly use the term QLC.

About that guy he is definately going through that. That comment was just a cover up!

[wordsmith]

If somebody asks you how you're doing, and you have an honest discussion about not feeling great about your employment situation, having a hard time meeting people or finding the right relationship, etc. They'll listen and respond and perhaps empathize. The moment you call it a QLC, you'll get an eye-roll.

[Kitty]

I don't know how taboo it is. I mean, my friend was telling me one day about how she was going through this whole transition thing and it really sucked and she was having all these issues and she mentioned the whole QLC book..and I totally related and thats what made me google the term and find this website.

[J-girl]

actually a friend had mentioned this term to me a few years ago right when i graduated from college. Him mentioning it alone made me feel nuthin's wrong with me. But then only recently I googled the term and thats when i stumbled upon this site. Havent really read the book yet

[Kitty]

actually a friend had mentioned this term to me a few years ago right when i graduated from college. Him mentioning it alone made me feel nuthin's wrong with me. But then only recently I googled the term and thats when i stumbled upon this site. Havent really read the book yet

Me neither..mostly because I don't feel in a rut right now. I feel like things are going well. However, when my 3 best girl friends move away, I might end up checking it out.

[J-girl]

I do feel in a rut but I dont have time to read that book hehe. Things are going too slow. Or too slow but too fast. Like I am running on a hamster wheel. Just hoping someday things will get better.

[paiger81]

Like I've said before, people usually roll their eyes when you mention MID-LIFE crisis, so I don't expect anything different for your QLC.

[J-girl]

Like I've said before, people usually roll their eyes when you mention MID-LIFE crisis, so I don't expect anything different for your QLC.
yeah in ur mid life u have the money but lack the looks, in ur quarterlife u are bursting with youthfulness but dont have the money hehe.

[shimmer728]

yeah in ur mid life u have the money but lack the looks, in ur quarterlife u are bursting with youthfulness but dont have the money hehe.

Dude, that is so true!

[Tiean]

As sort of a general comment to other people's reaction when you say that it's not going all that well at all... Why do (most) people ask: How are you? Most often as an attempt to find out how you are, - it's rather an attempt to start a conversation, and they expect you to say that you're fine and everything's great. (Almost) NOBODY wants to hear about your problems... Especially not when you're supposed to be having the greatest time of your life. After all it's all uphill (or downhill if I'm using the expression the wrong way) from here, right? So we should all just stop whining and enjoy life, liberty and fruit of the loom!

I'll just leave that open...

[Tiean]

Dude, that is so true!

Come on people... there's more to it than that... Give our psychic burdens some credit... ;)

[XJMP]

As sort of a general comment to other people's reaction when you say that it's not going all that well at all... Why do (most) people ask: How are you? Most often as an attempt to find out how you are, - it's rather an attempt to start a conversation, and they expect you to say that you're fine and everything's great. (Almost) NOBODY wants to hear about your problems... Especially not when you're supposed to be having the greatest time of your life. After all it's all uphill (or downhill if I'm using the expression the wrong way) from here, right? So we should all just stop whining and enjoy life, liberty and fruit of the loom!

I'll just leave that open...

Tiean, I really do agree with you. The fact that few people on this message board, if anybody, work in a Central American sweatshop makes what you just wrote even more true. (Apologies to anyone who does work in a Central American factory.)

XJMP

[Tiean]

Tiean, I really do agree with you. The fact that few people on this message board, if anybody, work in a Central American sweatshop makes what you just wrote even more true. (Apologies to anyone who does work in a Central American factory.)

XJMP

Hmmm... I think I didn't express myself very well then... My point was that OTHER people who ask you how you are really aren't interested in hearing about it if you have problems. A qlc is a problem, so most people don't want to hear about it. They themselves probably have a qlc too, but don't have the guts to talk about it.

I was trying to be ironical with the last part. People SAY that the 20s-30s are the best part of your life. That after that nothing improves... I say: Hmmm... I don't know about that. I sure as hell don't hope that everything will get worse as I grow older. Then I won't make till 40!

So XJMP I'm not sure if you really do agree with me. But you are right as well. Compared to Mexican workers in a sweatshop our problem seem stupid, but then again I don't think that you can compare the situations like that. (Even if some om us in here did work in a sweatshop nobody would want to hear about it. They just want to know that we're doing FINE)

[jrm6404]

I agree that it's difficult to find people in our daily (non-online) lives to express our woes to. That is why these sites exist!

Sidebar (tied into Tiean's comments): A HUGE lesson I learned through years of therapy was that none of us can compare our problems/issues with those of others when it comes to weighing who has it "worse" or "better". We are individuals with unique minds and methods of processing thoughts and emotions. Therefore what seems significant or insignificant to each person will vary greatly. Look within yourself to find the root of what's bothering you and work on resolving whatever that is, regardless of what you or anyone else may think is the "worthiness" of the problem/issue. If you're experiencing something then you must acknowledge and own it!

Does that make sense?!?!

[Tiean]

...If you're experiencing something then you must acknowledge and own it!

Does that make sense?!?!

Yes that makes a lot of sense... Nobody else can overcome your problems for you, - that's up to you to handle. Other people can helt you in various ways, but in the very end it's up to you.

But because people can't necessarily determine "how bad" the situation is that you're going through doesn't "give them the right" to ask you how you are and then just blow you off... They pretend to take an interest but could might as well have commented on the weather. If you ask a question you'd better be ready to listen to the answer. The problem is that the "So... How are you doing?" has lost it's original meaning. Today it just means "Hi... Say something please"

[GetMeOuttaDC]

(Apologies to anyone who does work in a Central American factory.)


Accepted. Thank you.





















I think that the reason people don't talk about their QLC is that it's not OK in our society to be young and unhappy... our society demands that those in their 20s be shiny happy people with the whole wide world at their fingertips.

[MrAnonymous]

I think you have a short term to bitch and moan about your life with someone. People prefer to be around those that have their shit together. If you bitch about your life too much (like more than once or twice) people will start avoiding you. Only bitch when you really need to...

The cynical way of putting this is: Everybody recognizes that their life sucks. The last thing they need is to have someone remind them of it.