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View Full Version : Dear Stupid Girlfriend Who Is In Love With Me



Winter Storm
06-14-2005, 09:27 AM
This was posted on Craigslist in Baltimore and I find it absolutely disturbing and sick.
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Dear Stupid Girlfriend Who Is In Love With Me,

Reply to: anon-78698105@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-06-13, 10:08PM

Have I ever said I was in love with you? No I have not. Like the little bird at Chipotle eating tortilla scraps, you hop along getting closer and closer waiting for your emotional bean and rice handout that will never happen. You do this because you are stupid and I am smarter than you.

Your weak and feeble mind cannot grasp the fact that I gaze deeply into your eyes after sex solely for the reason of attaching yourself emotionally to me. When I do this, I really want to roll over and sleep but it’s worth it to see your soul sore a little higher. All the more fun for the inevitable crash into heart-wrenching reality that will surely destroy you.

I laugh manically at the sound of the double-click that brings flowers to your door and your heart under my thumb. You giggle and jump for joy as you read the card that strategically insists you give the prettiest blossom to your mom. The acorn doesn’t fall far from the tree…the tree of stupidity.

Oh when I tell you you’re hot I am telling the truth. I love your hot body and the way it comes over every night for my pleasure. It’s the only thing that makes me put up with the absolute retarded utterances that dribble out of your hot little mouth. When you are telling me stories about how one arm is longer than the other, I am thinking about how great your ass looks on top of me.

I guess I am sorry….I lied earlier….I am in love. I am completely in love with the way other men look at me in sheer jealousy. Like the man who just won the office fantasy football pool, I parade you around the world of men and am greeted with smirks, nods, and squinty eyes. You dense skull ensures your obliviousness as you contently clutch my arm and inhale my cologne.

Sometimes I wonder just how bad I can treat you and watch you come crawling back. But that thought is as fleeting to me as your grasp of trigonometry. All you have to do is take off your clothes and I know exactly why I like you loving me.

Your limited mental capacity will never be able to grasp how much pleasure I derive from playing with you like a cat about ready to kill its catch. Eventually I will become bored and be forced to move onto another fine example from your challenged gender. Until then I will continue to whisper into your ear and tell you that I’ve never felt this way before about anyone.

-Your Boyfriend

P.S. Don’t even think about getting pregnant. Laci Peterson tried that same shit
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Can someone please assure me that guys like this are extrememly rare. Can anyone, cause this is like my worst dating nightmare.

J-girl
06-14-2005, 09:35 AM
The dude has issues!

tina1979
06-14-2005, 09:36 AM
its really sad to think that ppl actually think like that. :(

J-girl
06-14-2005, 09:39 AM
its really sad to think that ppl actually think like that. :(
I think this one's a special case.

GetMeOuttaDC
06-14-2005, 09:43 AM
I think this one's a special case.

Sorry, J, guys like that are standard issue in the DC-Baltimore area. :(

I always feel that much worse about where I live and humanity in general after reading the rants & raves on Craigslist.

J-girl
06-14-2005, 09:48 AM
Okay I know guys are players and all. They only call chicks when they want a boot call. But this one he actually buys her flowers, takes her out for dinner etc etc just to show his friends that he has a hot gf. So who is the loser here. He clearly has self esteem issues.

mishl982
06-14-2005, 09:49 AM
Sorry, J, guys like that are standard issue in the DC-Baltimore area. :(
Hey! There ARE decent guys in the DC area. :)

Winter Storm
06-14-2005, 09:53 AM
I'm waiting to hear from the guys on this one. Cause after my own experiences and those of my friends, I cannot tell when a guy is genuine anymore, even when he acts like it.

biodork
06-14-2005, 09:54 AM
Hey! There ARE decent guys in the DC area. :)
Yeah I think there are decent guys too, and there might be more of the ones just looking for someone to screw around with, but THAT is way beyond wanting a fuck buddy. It's disgusting...I wish we could search out that girl and knock some sense into her.

J-girl
06-14-2005, 09:57 AM
...I wish we could search out that girl and knock some sense into her.


I think it's more like we need to find the guy and chop his balls off. I mean if he is treating her nicely on the outside- looking into her eyes and all, it's really not her fault.

tina1979
06-14-2005, 10:00 AM
I think this one's a special case.
I know, but just think. If one is stupid enough to admit it, then how many others are actually thinking about it or doing it. :confused: It boggles the mind.

biodork
06-14-2005, 10:01 AM
I think it's more like we need to find the guy and chop his balls off. I mean if he is treating her nicely on the outside- looking into her eyes and all, it's really not her fault.
Yeah but he also said


Sometimes I wonder just how bad I can treat you and watch you come crawling back.

So we basically would need to do both...ugh disgusting pig

capella
06-14-2005, 10:09 AM
Do you think maybe this is some wacko who gets off "publishing" his stupid fantasies on CL? Sometimes I'm not sure you can take the rant and rave section that seriously at all. However, if it is a real deal.... This guy should be strung up and poked with large needles until there are enough holes to bleed to death. Gross.

GetMeOuttaDC
06-14-2005, 10:10 AM
P.S. Donít even think about getting pregnant. Laci Peterson tried that same shit


I'll defer to the optimists (Michelle and Elyse), but honestly, this line is the one that takes it from offensive to disturbing and frightening.

J-girl
06-14-2005, 10:11 AM
I know, but just think. If one is stupid enough to admit it, then how many others are actually thinking about it or doing it. :confused: It boggles the mind.


I really try not to think about it.
Even so- she has the leverage in this situation if she is that hot, I am sure she won't have trouble finding other guys.

Again, who is the loser!

I am trying to be optimistic haha :lol:

J-girl
06-14-2005, 10:19 AM
It's scary- no guys are logged on right now!

Bugsey34
06-14-2005, 10:51 AM
Sorry, J, guys like that are standard issue in the DC-Baltimore area. :(

I always feel that much worse about where I live and humanity in general after reading the rants & raves on Craigslist.

I feel the same way, GMODC, I used to read them because some are funny, and then I realized they were making me feel like crap, so now I avoid Craig's List unless I need to sell some furniture.

Unfortunately, people like this do exist. Since he's posting it on Craigslist, I would say this guy is probably sitting alone in a room somewhere and has probably never had a girlfriend, he just posts crap for kicks. However, by the news stories and what we all see in daily life, unfortunately we know for sure this mentality exists, and women have to be strong and alert to make sure they cut anyone like this out of their life.

GetMeOuttaDC
06-14-2005, 11:01 AM
Yeah, I take offense to that.

Hey, I didn't mean YOU. I was just talking in general terms. Sorry if I offended you; it wasn't intended that way.

wordsmith
06-14-2005, 11:06 AM
I really don't think fucked up assholes are endemic to a particular area. Where I live, there are subhuman wastes of space, too. There are also good guys. I'm not buying that there are no good guys in your area.

Morgan81
06-14-2005, 11:15 AM
Uhhhh..... I'm pretty sure this is a joke. Obviously, not anyone's type of joke here, but I doubt this is truth.

wordsmith
06-14-2005, 11:16 AM
My thought was basically that it was cribbed from somewhere else, too, for shock value, Morgan. It reeks of something about as original as an e-mail forward.

GetMeOuttaDC
06-14-2005, 11:16 AM
I really don't think fucked up assholes are endemic to a particular area. Where I live, there are subhuman wastes of space, too. There are also good guys. I'm not buying that there are no good guys in your area.

All I am saying is, most of the guys I went to school with and have worked with since graduating... I wouldn't drop dead of shock if I found out one of them had thought or written something like this. It would offend and bother me, yes, but it wouldn't suprise me.

joneshen
06-14-2005, 11:20 AM
I could maybe buy that the post was fake and done for kicks up until this point:


Originally Posted by asshole guy: P.S. Donít even think about getting pregnant. Laci Peterson tried that same shit

That is just beyond tasteless, even as a joke.

shimmer728
06-14-2005, 12:01 PM
I also think it's a joke--though I'm not amused.

midtwenty
06-14-2005, 12:05 PM
I agree it was probably made up for shock value and because someone is a giant dick, but the Laci Peterson comment is out of line.

Kitty
06-14-2005, 12:11 PM
I used to sometimes read the rants and raves section of craigslist, but I found that almost everyone was completely ruthless, heartless, thoughtless, idiotic, and racist. It was extremely depressing.

kitalyn414
06-14-2005, 01:37 PM
i think it is bullshit.


and if it is true... then this guy is a moron. there are plenty of hot, dumb girls that sleep with guys who don't even go so far as to take them on a date much less buy them flowers. that's quite an effort on his part for a payback he could have gotten without all the trouble.

LakeJay
06-14-2005, 01:41 PM
I think this is a joke. Although there are probably some guys out there that think that way.

Not a fan of the PS statement.

J-girl
06-14-2005, 01:45 PM
i think it is bullshit.


and if it is true... then this guy is a moron. there are plenty of hot, dumb girls that sleep with guys who don't even go so far as to take them on a date much less buy them flowers. that's quite an effort on his part for a payback he could have gotten without all the trouble.


Totally- if this is true, the joke's on him!

labrat2111
06-14-2005, 02:19 PM
Yeah there are some guys like this in real life. They are certainly in the minority but I guess all you can do is take it easy in a relationship and not jump too quick and be cautious.

I remember one guy I knew in college on my engineering co-op assignment who was a very good player and sounded sincere even though he was lying through his teeth. Most of the girls there knew his reputation and steered clear and they warned any new girls about him. Inevitably though one or two of them would still sleep with him and then be all upset when it was revealed he was sleeping around with other girls at the same time.

GetMeOuttaDC
06-14-2005, 02:28 PM
I used to sometimes read the rants and raves section of craigslist, but I found that almost everyone was completely ruthless, heartless, thoughtless, idiotic, and racist. It was extremely depressing.

add superficial, shallow, and evil to the list and that's what I think.

tina1979
06-14-2005, 02:34 PM
I remember one guy I knew in college on my engineering co-op assignment who was a very good player and sounded sincere even though he was lying through his teeth. Most of the girls there knew his reputation and steered clear and they warned any new girls about him. Inevitably though one or two of them would still sleep with him and then be all upset when it was revealed he was having sleeping around with other girls at the same time.
One of my friends is like this. I haven't seen him in a while, but maybe he has changed? :confused:

maxwell78
06-14-2005, 11:08 PM
It's bullshit. It's too over the top.

Deadend
06-14-2005, 11:33 PM
add superficial, shallow, and evil to the list and that's what I think.

Yep... you found the word I was planning to use. This goes beyond arbitrary value judgements - this is evil. He is either getting off on abusing somebody, or fantisizing about getting off on abusing somebody. Either way, evil.

shinyleaf
06-15-2005, 05:09 PM
Yep... you found the word I was planning to use. This goes beyond arbitrary value judgements - this is evil. He is either getting off on abusing somebody, or fantisizing about getting off on abusing somebody. Either way, evil.


in fact, sociopathic, I diagnose.