Newbie here - Can anyone relate to this?

[librariangirl]

Hi all,

I just discovered this site yesterday and have been reading some of the posts. I can relate to a lot of what you all are saying. I’ve had this sense for a while that what I’ve been going through is a QLC – but this is the first time I’ve actually heard the term!

I’m librariangirl aka, Cheryl. I’m 27 and a classically trained musician who decided two years ago after doing a graduate degree in music that I didn’t want the performing life for my profession. So, now I’m a few months away from a another graduate degree in library science. Yeah, 9 years of school! I’m such a glutton for punishment!

Anyway, I’m wondering if any of you can relate to some experiences I’ve been having recently concerning current friendships and trying to develop new ones.

I am a natural introvert and I’m also quite shy sometimes when meeting new people. This means that over my life, I have never been one to have a large group of friends. I usually have two or three close friends that I like to chat with and hang out with and I much prefer to do things with them one-on-one or in very small groups. I have been like this all of my life, but the trouble with it now is that my friends are in similar places as all of us here are, starting their lives, graduating, moving away, focusing on their romantic relationships, maybe getting married, etc….. and I often feel like I get lost in the shuffle.

I find it very hard to connect with people, in fact I’m learning that for me, there really is probably only one or two people in any given group that I’m “wired” to connect with. When I do, it’s great! And when I feel comfortable I’m a very chatty and bubbly person, but I find that only certain personalities bring that out in me to the degree that I feel like the person I want to be. I try to concentrate my friendship efforts on these people because I feel good being with them. On the surface, I can talk to acquaintances at school about school related things and come off as not being overly shy (in fact, some people are surprised to hear that I’m shy), but underneath, I’m not making any connection that really matters. So, with only a small group of people that I do connect with, often they are busy with their own lives and although they probably would like to hang out more often, nobody seems willing to make the time, or they just have too much to deal with already. I almost always have to initiate the times we do hang out, and a lot of the time I’m home twiddling my thumbs between school assignments.

Meanwhile, many of the people in my program enjoy going out in large groups to bars or to potlucks, etc… Sometimes I do enjoy these and I go occasionally and sometimes have a great time. But I have to be a certain type of mood to want to do that, and sometimes I just find it exhausting. I don’t mean to sound like a partypooper –I’m not. When I feel comfortable with the people I’m with I’m very social. But it seems like my preferred ways of socializing (in small groups, etc.) don’t really fit into many people’s lives these days. And I’m not seeing anyone currently either, so that adds to the thumb-twiddling time ;)

Has anyone else experienced this kind of thing? If so, I’d be glad to hear! Sorry this is so long......

Cheryl
P.S. Any Canadians or librarians out there?

[coll214]

How about a hopeful librarian? I plan on going back to school for that this fall.

But first off welcome to the boards, they're a godsend :). And yes you will find ppl here with similiar problems as yours. Mine more has to deal with rather petty friends at the moment who've known each other entirely too long... and still act like we're in HS at times.

[librariangirl]

How about a hopeful librarian? I plan on going back to school for that this fall.

But first off welcome to the boards, they're a godsend :). And yes you will find ppl here with similiar problems as yours. Mine more has to deal with rather petty friends at the moment who've known each other entirely too long... and still act like we're in HS at times.


Well, at least I don't have to deal with pettiness or highschoolishness - that's a blessing! Congrats on wanting to join the ranks of us information professionals! We're not the stereotypical hairbun, glasses-wearing shushers anymore! ;)

[ankh_23]

Welcome to the boards!
I usually have two or three close friends that I like to chat with and hang out with and I much prefer to do things with them one-on-one or in very small groups.
I'm like this, although sometimes it is fun to do things in a bigger group. Sometimes it's just really hard to find friends that are a good fit with you.

[tina1979]

welcome to the boards.

[J-girl]

P.S. Any Canadians or librarians out there?


Right here. I know quite a few people who graduated from FIS at U of T.

[coll214]

Congrats on wanting to join the ranks of us information professionals! We're not the stereotypical hairbun, glasses-wearing shushers anymore! ;)

Exactly :)

[librariangirl]

Exactly :)


So what made you want to become a librarian?

[MariaJ1980]

I find myself in a similar situation. I'm shy and have a hard time conecting with people, especially now that I recently graduated( don't feel so bad about how long it took you, it took me 6 years to get my undergraduate) and moved to a new state. I've always felt more comfortable in small groups and recently all of my friends are moving in different directions; some are moving on to graduate school, others are settling down, and none have time for me anymore. I'm sort of stuck in limbo, I'm waiting for this Peace Corps thing in April, but until then, I have nothing to do, no friends.

[coll214]

So what made you want to become a librarian?
the short version; I hate my job in IT right now, degree in mgmt info systems, took a class at the school around here that offered LS and actually enjoyed it, love to read and get others to do the same... How about you?

[sharon]

hi librariangirl....i'm a Canadian! in fact, i live in the GTA...did you go to U of T?

[librariangirl]

hi librariangirl....i'm a Canadian! in fact, i live in the GTA...did you go to U of T?


No, I actually go to Western....

[J-girl]

If it's not one it's the other. HEHE.

So do you plan to be a Librarian or an Archivist?

PS: Welcome :)

[librariangirl]

the short version; I hate my job in IT right now, degree in mgmt info systems, took a class at the school around here that offered LS and actually enjoyed it, love to read and get others to do the same... How about you?

Well, I started hating the process of practicing my instrument for hours everyday and knew that if I really wanted to get an orchestra job I'd have to do it for eight hours a day to compete with the young prodigies out there. So, I figured I'd be better off having my music for me. I've always loved to read and I like the library environment - and I like to be organized (to a point, I'm not really anal about it). Little did I know that it's really NOT just about books! But it's cool anyway.

[Winter Storm]

Hi and welcome. Thanks for posting an intro. Kick off your shoes and stay for awhile!

[librariangirl]

If it's not one it's the other. HEHE.

So do you plan to be a Librarian or an Archivist?

PS: Welcome :)


Yup, UofT vs. Western, eh? ;) A librarian I think. I haven't taken any archivist-type courses yet. don't know if I will. My ultimate job would be music librarian - combine the library stuff with my music knowledge.

[librariangirl]

I find myself in a similar situation. I'm shy and have a hard time conecting with people, especially now that I recently graduated( don't feel so bad about how long it took you, it took me 6 years to get my undergraduate) and moved to a new state. I've always felt more comfortable in small groups and recently all of my friends are moving in different directions; some are moving on to graduate school, others are settling down, and none have time for me anymore. I'm sort of stuck in limbo, I'm waiting for this Peace Corps thing in April, but until then, I have nothing to do, no friends.


I hear you! Nice to know I'm not the only one :) My closest friend in my city (she's younger than me) just finished her undergrad and is moving to go to grad school. I'm really going to miss her.

[J-girl]

Yup, UofT vs. Western, eh? ;) A librarian I think. I haven't taken any archivist-type courses yet. don't know if I will. My ultimate job would be music librarian - combine the library stuff with my music knowledge.
OMG I love you so much! A. for not being at U of T and B. for chosing Librarian over Archives. ;)

I worked at the Sound and Moving Images Library at York and it was the best low paying job of my life. I have also worked at an Archives place (for the sake of anonymity I am not going to mention which one though it's pretty easy to guess). I wouldnt wish that upon anyone. *shudder*

Western Eh? P A R T Y. :D

[librariangirl]

OMG I love you so much! A. for not being at U of T and B. for chosing Librarian over Archives. ;)

I worked at the Sound and Moving Images Library at York and it was the best low paying job of my life. I have also worked at an Archives place (for the sake of anonymity I am not going to mention which one though it's pretty easy to guess). I wouldnt wish that upon anyone. *shudder*

Western Eh? P A R T Y. :D

Hehehe! Yeah, I kind of think I'd be bored in an archive - I may be an introvert, but I need social contact in my work and a sense that I'm actually helping people. I'm not as into the whole historic preservation thing.

How did you get that job?

[J-girl]

God that place was such a dump (the Archives) and it was filled with graduates from U of T. Enough said. This one I just applied for a summer student position and I got it. Pure chance. The funny thing is my then manager was a Western grad. the nicest guy there. The rest of them walked around like they had a stick up their ass. And yeah people arent really introverted, they are just wierdos.


I got my SMI job when I was an undergrad at York. One of my friends actually worked there and when she graduated she referred me. Although I did my undergrad in CS and I find that too blah.

[shimmer728]

Hi and welcome! I used to be very shy, too, until my career as a newspaper reporter forced me out of my shell (that, and discovering booze in my early 20s. :rolleyes: ) I'm a lot more outgoing now, but find that I still have a tough time forming real, deep friendships. So you aren't alone. Thanks for introducing yourself!

[pisces2473]

Congrats on wanting to join the ranks of us information professionals! We're not the stereotypical hairbun, glasses-wearing shushers anymore! ;)
During my tenure in one of the world's largest libraries...I saw a few of these...

Welcome to the boards!!!

[pisces2473]

I have also worked at an Archives place (for the sake of anonymity I am not going to mention which one though it's pretty easy to guess). I wouldnt wish that upon anyone. *shudder*

I love what my downfall started...everyone is now so secretive...

[kathysclown]

I'm also going for my master's in library science. And I am also having trouble making friends in graduate school. I'm 10 hours away from home in a new state at a huge university that has like 6X more students then where I got my undergrad degree, and I've been here since January and haven't really developed any true friendships. I'm finally at the point where I have "friends" in the sense that we sit together in class and talk during breaks, but I've never gotten together with them outside of class, and since quite a few of them are already married and/or raising kids and/or working full-time, none of which applies to me, it's just hard. I miss my undergrad college, where my social life wasn't terrific by any stretch of the imagination, but I did have friends and I had found my "niche" in the music department (I play clarinet, but I majored in psychology).

Anyway, this is longer than I had intended it to be, but I just wanted to let you know that you aren't the only library science major out there having these issues. And my cat is clamoring for my attention, so I have to go anyway :)

[librariangirl]

I'm also going for my master's in library science. And I am also having trouble making friends in graduate school. I'm 10 hours away from home in a new state at a huge university that has like 6X more students then where I got my undergrad degree, and I've been here since January and haven't really developed any true friendships. I'm finally at the point where I have "friends" in the sense that we sit together in class and talk during breaks, but I've never gotten together with them outside of class, and since quite a few of them are already married and/or raising kids and/or working full-time, none of which applies to me, it's just hard. I miss my undergrad college, where my social life wasn't terrific by any stretch of the imagination, but I did have friends and I had found my "niche" in the music department (I play clarinet, but I majored in psychology).

OMG! I play clarinet too! My first graduate degree was in clarinet performance! Before that I was in Music Ed. And I like cats too...... too weird!! :)

Your experiences in class do sound just like mine. I find in library school there is always a vast array of ages, backgrounds and experiences because you can come into the program with any undergraduate degree. In my program, I have all the categories you mentioned. Then there are those who already have library tech jobs and come to upgrade - they can be any age at all. It makes for interesting and enriched class discussions and sometimes these different people are good for assignment advice, but it does make it hard sometimes to find a lot of common ground. My advice (although I'm the same boat as you) is to pick one or two people that you can talk fairly easily with and try to get out to eat or to a movie with them - even if you don't end up socializing with them frequently, it does make you feel better to have even one night out - especially if you can laugh with them.

Hang in there!
Your fellow clarinet-playing librarian ;)

[winneythepooh7]

Hi and welcome to the boards. I am not a librarian, but a Social Worker and I also find a similar pattern with the friends stuff that you do. Some of it is me, since I am too tired to go out most days after dealing with the exhaustion that is work. Most of my friends post-college have done the marriage thing and moved away. A lot of others, especially females that I am around, I just don't have much in common with, especially if it comes down to wanting a drinking buddy. Not saying I NEVER go out anymore but that lifestyle is just not me anymore.

[Sgt.Drake]

I'm also going for my master's in library science.


I didn't know you had to go so far in education to be a librarian... those guys that stamp your books with due dates...

Please tell me more about being a librarian.

Hi, I'm new here.

[librariangirl]

I didn't know you had to go so far in education to be a librarian... those guys that stamp your books with due dates...

Please tell me more about being a librarian.

Hi, I'm new here.

Hi Sgt. Drake,

Welcome from another new person! Your comment is the cause of much discussion in library school. Basically, in most libraries you have a few librarians, some people with library tech diplomas, and also some who have other backgrounds. The confusing thing is that, often, especially in smaller libraries, the staff do a bit of everything - or at least it appears that way on the outside.

A Library Science masters program covers more than a tech diploma would and also deals with more than the practical aspects of the job. While we do, indeed, learn basic reference tools, cataloguing, etc.... the focus is a more academic, wholistic approach. Even in cataloguing, we're not just learning what info to put where in a catalogue record (info X goes in field Y), we're also looking at WHY we do it this way vs. that, and we also have to learn the principles of deciding what subject to classify a book (or other item) under. Also, more and more librarians are doing more behind the scenes in their jobs - we have to take a class in management (at least in my program), and we can choose to take strategic planning, marketing, financial management ,etc... Then there are indepth reference classes (ie: to become familiar with resources in science, business, social science,etc.... - whatever is being offered) and also classes that focus on how to teach library research skills and why we would even need to do this.

Then there is the collections side of things. Librarians are the ones who decide what is bought and made available to patrons. In most large libraries, this requires a subject specialty (hence the need for a previous undergrad degree - in my case, music). And then we have a bunch of classes that teach things like web design and database management. We don't have to take everything, most courses are electives, but all of these things are part of the profession. And also, especially in academic libraries, librarians may have faculty status and are therefore expected to do research and publish.

It's a pretty involved world - I didn't expect all of this when I started - I just like books and reading! ;)

[kathysclown]

A Library Science masters program covers more than a tech diploma would and also deals with more than the practical aspects of the job. While we do, indeed, learn basic reference tools, cataloguing, etc.... the focus is a more academic, wholistic approach. Even in cataloguing, we're not just learning what info to put where in a catalogue record (info X goes in field Y), we're also looking at WHY we do it this way vs. that, and we also have to learn the principles of deciding what subject to classify a book (or other item) under. Also, more and more librarians are doing more behind the scenes in their jobs - we have to take a class in management (at least in my program), and we can choose to take strategic planning, marketing, financial management ,etc... Then there are indepth reference classes (ie: to become familiar with resources in science, business, social science,etc.... - whatever is being offered) and also classes that focus on how to teach library research skills and why we would even need to do this.

Then there is the collections side of things. Librarians are the ones who decide what is bought and made available to patrons. In most large libraries, this requires a subject specialty (hence the need for a previous undergrad degree - in my case, music). And then we have a bunch of classes that teach things like web design and database management. We don't have to take everything, most courses are electives, but all of these things are part of the profession. And also, especially in academic libraries, librarians may have faculty status and are therefore expected to do research and publish.

It's a pretty involved world - I didn't expect all of this when I started - I just like books and reading!

That's exactly right. Also, with all the new technology that has just become prevelant in the past 10 or so years in libraries and schools, it is important for librarians to learn as much about things like the Internet, search engines, databases, etc. because these things have changed the way in which information is stored and retrieved, and the way in which people expect to find information. For example, most students expect to be able to find journal articles for classes available on-line, but many do not know how to find the articles in a library, or what to do if they are not given a link to the specific article on-line.

librariangirl- I also like books and reading, but I had also grew up with a bit of insight into the world of libraries, as my father is a librarian and my mom is a library page at a public library. So I am carrying on the family tradition! And you are right- its an involved world, and most people don't realize many of the things that happen behind the scenes in a library. And I am just thrilled to meet another clarinet-playing library science student. :bigger:

[Starfish81]

I am a natural introvert and I’m also quite shy sometimes when meeting new people. This means that over my life, I have never been one to have a large group of friends. I usually have two or three close friends that I like to chat with and hang out with and I much prefer to do things with them one-on-one or in very small groups. I have been like this all of my life, but the trouble with it now is that my friends are in similar places as all of us here are, starting their lives, graduating, moving away, focusing on their romantic relationships, maybe getting married, etc….. and I often feel like I get lost in the shuffle....

...Meanwhile, many of the people in my program enjoy going out in large groups to bars or to potlucks, etc… Sometimes I do enjoy these and I go occasionally and sometimes have a great time. But I have to be a certain type of mood to want to do that, and sometimes I just find it exhausting. I don’t mean to sound like a partypooper –I’m not. When I feel comfortable with the people I’m with I’m very social. But it seems like my preferred ways of socializing (in small groups, etc.) don’t really fit into many people’s lives these days. And I’m not seeing anyone currently either, so that adds to the thumb-twiddling time ;)

Has anyone else experienced this kind of thing? If so, I’d be glad to hear! Sorry this is so long......

Cheryl
P.S. Any Canadians or librarians out there?

I am neither a librarian or a Canadian, but I am a natural introvert. I like doing things with small groups of friends, too, or just one on one. It can be hard if your friends aren't that close yet, or if they prefer being in big groups. I don't have a cure, but I can relate to the theme of not fitting into friends' lives the way that you want to.

Oh yes, welcome!

[Sgt.Drake]

All you said +
It's a pretty involved world - I didn't expect all of this when I started - I just like books and reading! ;)

Thanks for the info. I really do think being a librarian is a good profession.

Maybe it's just the atmosphere I feel when I walk in a library, but it seems nice.

I like books and reading too.

I'm trying to get my undergrad degree right now and have been having trouble choosing a major.

How has the process been in trying to attain that Library Science master degree? Many schools offer this? Toughest thing about it? Any organic chemistry or physics involved? (please say no).

[librariangirl]

librariangirl- I also like books and reading, but I had also grew up with a bit of insight into the world of libraries, as my father is a librarian and my mom is a library page at a public library. So I am carrying on the family tradition! And you are right- its an involved world, and most people don't realize many of the things that happen behind the scenes in a library. And I am just thrilled to meet another clarinet-playing library science student. :bigger:

So you REALLY know what you're getting into!! (you're sure you want to do this.....? ;) )

As for clarinet-playing librarians, would you believe that the head music reference librarian at my university (I worked with her on a coop job this year and also knew her when I was a music student) is also a clarinet player? :surprised We're taking over the world!!! :evil:

[librariangirl]

Thanks for the info. I really do think being a librarian is a good profession.

Maybe it's just the atmosphere I feel when I walk in a library, but it seems nice.

I like books and reading too.

I'm trying to get my undergrad degree right now and have been having trouble choosing a major.

How has the process been in trying to attain that Library Science master degree? Many schools offer this? Toughest thing about it? Any organic chemistry or physics involved? (please say no).


Hehehe.....no, no chemistry or physics involved. Basically you need an undergraduate degree (some library programs will specify a certain number of upper level academic credits, but in most degrees you'll have that by virtue of getting your degree). I think a large number of schools offer this in the states - only four or five in Canada. Just make sure that the program is accredited by the American Library Association. Most are anyway. I'm not sure how the majority of schools do it. I think it's usually a two year masters. In my program however, it's three terms of five courses and you can go straight through and be done in a year (it's absolutely brutal to do it like that though). We also have the option of competing for Coop jobs all over Canada and we can do up to two work terms.

I went the Coop route and highly recommend it if you can find a program that offers it. You get valuable experience to put on your resume and really, you learn things they just can't teach you in school. I did school, coop, 2nd coop at different place, 2nd coop kept me part-time so I did 2 courses, now I'm back in class full time and will be done in December. For me it will be a full two years, but I got a lot of great work experience - not to mention a nice income to help with tuition, etc...

The toughest thing about the program - at least here - is the workload. Instead of one or two big assignments and exams, there are no exams and the focus is on many assignment with fast turnaround time. I'm only doing four classes right now instead of the usual five, but it's not unusual for me to have three things due in one week - three weeks out of my June are like that. And my first term when I took all the core courses was even worse! BUT you learn to write fast, manage your time, and not stress about every mark because there are so many assignments you don't have time for that. Basically I aim for a certain standard in my work and my marks almost always fall within a five % range. The irony is that I often do best on the things I spend the least time on..... go figure!

So that's the scoop! :)

[Desiderata]

while I'm no librarian (I can barely read!) I am most definately a Canadian, and am from your neck of the woods... I'm a windsor boy at hear, who's managed to migrate as far west as I can. Welcome to the boards, glad to see some more of our kind on here... it's just not polite enough :D

[hopeless]

[QUOTE=librariangirl] I usually have two or three close friends that I like to chat with and hang out with and I much prefer to do things with them one-on-one or in very small groups. I find it very hard to connect with people, in fact I’m learning that for me, there really is probably only one or two people in any given group that I’m “wired” to connect with. When I do, it’s great! And when I feel comfortable I’m a very chatty and bubbly person, but I find that only certain personalities bring that out in me to the degree that I feel like the person I want to be. QUOTE]

I'm like that too. I have 3-4 close friends I usually hang out with and don't like to be in big groups. When I'm with my friends I'm not as shy & they've known me for so long I'm comfortable being myself with them. But when I meet new people I've never met I get really shy & uncomfortable & I feel put in the spot for making small talk.

[librariangirl]

I'm like that too. I have 3-4 close friends I usually hang out with and don't like to be in big groups. When I'm with my friends I'm not as shy & they've known me for so long I'm comfortable being myself with them. But when I meet new people I've never met I get really shy & uncomfortable & I feel put in the spot for making small talk.

Small talk is the worst! I wish we could just skip it altogether.

[hopeless]

I hate it when I feel I have to put effort into small talk. It seems that everytime when I meet a person I have to do say questions just to get the conversation going, like the other person never makes it easier on me, you know.

[kathysclown]

We're taking over the world!!!

Damn straight we are!! LOL :huge: :D

I think a large number of schools offer this in the states - only four or five in Canada. Just make sure that the program is accredited by the American Library Association. Most are anyway. I'm not sure how the majority of schools do it. I think it's usually a two year masters.

There are about 45 or so ALA-accredited library science programs in the US right now. Most of them require between 30 and 42 credits (mine requires 36) so yeah, most people take about two years to complete the program.


The toughest thing about the program - at least here - is the workload. Instead of one or two big assignments and exams, there are no exams and the focus is on many assignment with fast turnaround time.

Huh, I've found the opposite to be true at my university, at least for most of my courses so far. Most of my classes have had a big final project due and just a few smaller projects or assignments There ARE a lot of readings assigned, but depending on the course you can get away with not doing all the assigned readings. But one of the classes that I'm taking this summer has a lot of smaller assignments that are due frequently, so it really depends on the course and the instructor. And I haven't had to take one final exam yet, which has been wonderful, as I'm not very good at them- I do better at take-home exams and assignments where I can think about the questions for a few days before writing my answer.

[Sgt.Drake]

Huh, I've found the opposite to be true at my university, at least for most of my courses so far. Most of my classes have had a big final project due and just a few smaller projects or assignments There ARE a lot of readings assigned, but depending on the course you can get away with not doing all the assigned readings. But one of the classes that I'm taking this summer has a lot of smaller assignments that are due frequently, so it really depends on the course and the instructor. And I haven't had to take one final exam yet, which has been wonderful, as I'm not very good at them- I do better at take-home exams and assignments where I can think about the questions for a few days before writing my answer.

What kind of readings do you have to read? And what kind of assignments do you have to do? This is interesting.


Sorry, if I'm getting off topic.

When I'm not with friends, I try to keep busy. As for connecting with people, if it happens it happens and when it does it IS fun, isn't it?

[librariangirl]

What kind of readings do you have to read? And what kind of assignments do you have to do? This is interesting.


Sorry, if I'm getting off topic.

When I'm not with friends, I try to keep busy. As for connecting with people, if it happens it happens and when it does it IS fun, isn't it?

Most of the readings are scholarly or professional articles from the leading info science and related journals. Sometimes we're assigned books chapters as well. Like Kathysclown, I don't do all my readings either -sometimes there's just not time. The subject matter, of course, depends on the course.

As for the assignments, they vary depending on the class. I've had to do mock reference questions where we're presented with a question someone could conceivably ask you in a library and we half to go look up the answers; essays/term papers on various topics - usually we're given a choice of doing 3/6 (or something like that) options thorughout the term for an individual class; there's also a lot of report writing which is a bit easier than essays because you're usually writing about your experience, or about what you found out, etc.... insights are important, but the reports don't seem to require the same kind of abstract original thought that the essays do. Then we have lots of presentations (usually in groups), techie assignments like building a website or database (if you're in those courses). There's really a wide variety. In one class I had to write a research proposal and in current class I have to select books on a very specific topic as if I were building a collection for the opening day of a library - I have find the best things for the money I have, justify my choices, explain how I found them and also why I picked this one over that one.

Anyway, you get the idea......there's really no limit to what they can ask you to do..... :p

[Sgt.Drake]

Anyway, you get the idea......there's really no limit to what they can ask you to do..... :p

As long as there is no organic chemistry or physics, I'm happy.

I have been asking a lot of questions because I haven't figured out anything to do after I get my undergrad degree especially something that I'd be comfortable with.

[Violet_Ellie]

Hi Cheryl- I know EXACTLY what you mean. I think a lot of it has to do with being an introvert... I've felt the same way about friendships and meeting people as you. One thing that has helped me is reading the book "The Introvert Advantage" by Marti Olsen Laney.

By the way... I wrote a much longer response before, but when I hit submit it got erased! Don't you hate that???

[librariangirl]

Hi Cheryl- I know EXACTLY what you mean. I think a lot of it has to do with being an introvert... I've felt the same way about friendships and meeting people as you. One thing that has helped me is reading the book "The Introvert Advantage" by Marti Olsen Laney.

By the way... I wrote a much longer response before, but when I hit submit it got erased! Don't you hate that???

I've lost things on discussion lists before too - very annoying!! :mad: Now, if I think my message is going to be long, I sometimes type in Word and then copy it over.

Thanks for the book suggestion - I'll look into it! :)

[librariangirl]

GRRR.....my university has that book in the catalogue but its status is 'missing' :madder: Guess I'll have to try the public library - or amazon

[librariangirl]

Dang! Both copies at the public library are out with five holds! GRRRRRRR!

[Violet_Ellie]

Yeah, I think I got mine used off of Amazon for maybe $8.00. It's definitely worth it!

[ValentineGirl]

Another clarinet player here! I played clarinet for 10 years. I was a music major my freshman year, but I ended up changing my major to psychology and that's what I eventually got my degree in (which was probably a huge mistake, but that's another thread).

[Deadend]

I'm wondering what part of Ontario this new girl is from.... I'm from the Hammer myself, originally, but shortly will be going who knows where Ontario.

Anyways, I just wanted to say that some friends of my brother who work at Microsoft were saying that people with library science degrees are actually the sort of people that company is currrently looking for. Makes sence if you think about it, they must have computer nerds comming out the wazoo, but as far as people that actually know how to organize information and so forth *inside* the design of their systems, that's what they need.

[lisalondon]

hi cheryl

i can completely relate to what you wrote in your post but it sounds like you are handling it really well, ie spending time with those that make you feel good about yourself. i too have just a few close friends but who i am increasingly losing touch with due to how different our lives are, and im finding that building new friendships at the moment is sooooo hard. and it looks from the number of replies that loads of us feel exactly the same. but at least you're not selling out by just hanging out with people whose company you don't really enjoy just for the sake of company. i also sympathise with the whole acting weird around certain people, some people just bring out the uptight, boring, and shy side of me while with others i can completely relax and be myself with. i just say to myself that its intuition - telling me who would and who wouldnt make a good friend. i'm sure with a little time you'll make some really good friends as it sounds like you know what you want from a friendship - good luck! ;)

[librariangirl]

I'm wondering what part of Ontario this new girl is from.... I'm from the Hammer myself, originally, but shortly will be going who knows where Ontario.

Anyways, I just wanted to say that some friends of my brother who work at Microsoft were saying that people with library science degrees are actually the sort of people that company is currrently looking for. Makes sence if you think about it, they must have computer nerds comming out the wazoo, but as far as people that actually know how to organize information and so forth *inside* the design of their systems, that's what they need.

I'm in London, actually - and interesting about Microsoft!

[librariangirl]

hi cheryl

i can completely relate to what you wrote in your post but it sounds like you are handling it really well, ie spending time with those that make you feel good about yourself. i too have just a few close friends but who i am increasingly losing touch with due to how different our lives are, and im finding that building new friendships at the moment is sooooo hard. and it looks from the number of replies that loads of us feel exactly the same. but at least you're not selling out by just hanging out with people whose company you don't really enjoy just for the sake of company. i also sympathise with the whole acting weird around certain people, some people just bring out the uptight, boring, and shy side of me while with others i can completely relax and be myself with. i just say to myself that its intuition - telling me who would and who wouldnt make a good friend. i'm sure with a little time you'll make some really good friends as it sounds like you know what you want from a friendship - good luck! ;)

Hi Lisalondon,

Thanks for your nice message :) And I agree with the intuition thing - I've been lucky in the two coop jobs I've done this year. At both, I've met one person that I easily connected with and I'm still in touch with both of them. I knew they would be good friends for me. the catch is that they are older than me - one, in Ottawa (also in another city, making it hard) is 41ish and the one here in town is 54. I seem to have a habit of connecting with women who are older. It's great because I can't talk to them and they don't act like my mom ;) plus I get their more experienced perspective. The downside is that they have their own lives and families which makes it hard to hang out like I would with someone my own age.

but it's interesting that with them, I clicked so well that when I told them I was introverted and a bit shy, they almost didn't believe me because with them I come across as an extrovert - because I'm comfortable with them.

[SweetEm]

Wow, I play the clarinet - true, I haven't actually played anything in a long time. I miss it tho. Can you recommend some easy music for me to play that's solo? I should really pull it out again. AND I have been seriously considering getting my MA in Library Science. I went to school for art (REALLY practical, I think i win for practicality) but I worked at a museum library for two years and really liked helping people research things. THe long lulls in between patrons was totally boring tho. I also always loved to read and learn. So maybe it is the right career for me. I love this thread, it's so interesting! If i do go for my MA, we should all get together with our clarinets and start a Librarian quartet or quintet or however many of us there are. Ha!

[SweetEm]

Also, in regards to the whole trouble with shyness and meeting people... please read 'The Highly Sensitive Person' by Elaine N. Aron. I think it's fairly accurate that the terms sensitive and introverted are considered to be negative traits in our culture. I think this book puts into perspective how they are in fact positive traits, and how we can build our confidence when faced with our sensitivity and learn how connect to other people.

[librariangirl]

Wow, I play the clarinet - true, I haven't actually played anything in a long time. I miss it tho. Can you recommend some easy music for me to play that's solo? I should really pull it out again. AND I have been seriously considering getting my MA in Library Science. I went to school for art (REALLY practical, I think i win for practicality) but I worked at a museum library for two years and really liked helping people research things. THe long lulls in between patrons was totally boring tho. I also always loved to read and learn. So maybe it is the right career for me. I love this thread, it's so interesting! If i do go for my MA, we should all get together with our clarinets and start a Librarian quartet or quintet or however many of us there are. Ha!

Hi SweetEm,

I answered your library questions on the thread you started. As for clarinet stuff, what level are you at? Did you take private lessons? Let me know a bit about what kind of stuff you've played and maybe I can recommend something.

Thanks for the book recommdation too. I picked up the Introvert advantage the other day base on someone else's comment and in that book, the Highly Sensitive Person is also mentioned. So I'll add that to my ever growing list of upcoming reads :p

[kathysclown]

I went to school for art (REALLY practical, I think i win for practicality)


Actually, I know a woman with an art history backgrounds who became a librarian in art museums and loved it (she's retired now). Or you could always be a subject specialist and be in charge of the art books in an academic library.

[NotPersephone]

Hi Cheryl,

Well, I'm a little behind (I usually only look at these boards like once a month or so), but I will be a librarian in August when I get my degree! I'm also a musician, though I didn't major in it or anything. I play violin primarily these days--I played bassoon and baritone horn in high school and college as well, but those instruments are too expensive to actually buy and keep playing! Also, one of the guys in my community orchestra is another clarinet/librarian--maybe you can recruit him :)