is it just me?

[Desiderata]

It's quite odd... since I feel pretty stuck and weird in my own life right now, I'm not posting anything, advice wise (mostly) on here... as if I'm too messed up at the moment to be of help to anyone else. Which is weird, cause I like to help people. Anyway, not sure the whole bloody point of this, just wanted to let people know its not that I don't care, just not in my right mind these days.

[KeepRockin]

I'm not posting anything, advice wise (mostly) on here... as if I'm too messed up at the moment to be of help to anyone else. Which is weird, cause I like to help people.

I'm extremely new to the boards and came here in the midst of a temporary emotional breakdown...(which is much much better now). I have a lot to say about some posts that I've read, but know that I need to get my own mind settled before I can support others the way I'd like to.

It must be frustrating to want help, but not feel 100% into it...so take this time for yourself! It seems like a pretty tight community on here, so there are most definitely people that care about you (and know that you care, too!). Do whatever it is that you need to do- make sure you're taking care of YOU! :green:

[shimmer728]

I think it's nice that you're so concerned about the other posters on here while you're going through your own crap. :) Use the boards however you need to, and we're all here if you want to talk.

[midtwenty]

I was actually wondering about you Des. Hope things start looking up soon. Remember we're here to help! :)

[Tayl405]

Hey Des...you echo my thoughts exactly. I feel kinda guilty that I'm not offering much advice. I guess nobody wants to take advice from someone as lost and screwed up as me anyway :) It's ok!

[golfgirl827]

I understand how you feel. I am sure you may have read my posts and I am completely in chaos, but sometimes different points of view help others. I think of it as we can all help each other in one way or another. I hope things get better for you :razz:

[temptation]

It's really nice of you to think that way but I personally think that if you have something to say then say it! Most of the people here are discerning individuals so I am assuming that they will gather all the information and process it before jumping to any conclusion. In any case, I got your back homegal. ;):

[stonemonkey]

It's quite odd... since I feel pretty stuck and weird in my own life right now, I'm not posting anything, advice wise (mostly) on here... as if I'm too messed up at the moment to be of help to anyone else. Which is weird, cause I like to help people. Anyway, not sure the whole bloody point of this, just wanted to let people know its not that I don't care, just not in my right mind these days.

I think that you can actually be really messed up yourself and still be able dish out good advice. I'm the king of giving people advice which I ignore myself. The thing with your own life is that you're too emotionally involved in it to make objective rational decisions. Whereas with other people, you can be helpful because you're not so 'involvoed'.

P.S. I admire you use of the word 'bloody'. We say that here in Australia alot.

[wordsmith]

Stoney is right. Not having life figured out has definitely never prevented me from contemplating answers for other people. It's easier to turn a clear eye on somebody else than yourself.

[stonemonkey]

Yeah, just look at Hannibal Lecter. OK, he's not the best example, but it illustrates my point.

[tina1979]

Hey Des.

Offer advice when you can and take advice when you need it. We are all here for you. :)

[Desiderata]

thanks guys, always appreciated. I have to admit, even though I'm doing more reading than writing, its good to be more active here again. And what I'm noticing is that I'm doing it in the moments i have at work, and its the weird home situation which has caused some conflict (let alone knots in my back). Basically, ended serious relationship last fall. We've managed to stay friends (albeit too close during the first few months) which is where we are now. She's in town for the summer and staying with me (for free). Now we're both in the navy reserve, and the accommodations are pretty crap. So like all my friends, I offered my house for the summer; whcih has turned into a stressful idea (too much history). Basically,she's a total slob, which was a huge problem and even more now that we aren't together. And of course she likes to flirt and get my "attention" and then walk away, just to see if she still can. She's young, 22, and acts quite young, can you say immature? and of course, as I'm too much of a nice guy, am not gonna throw her (or 2 cats) out. So Home is really weird, and my little sanctuary has been violated. The bitch of it I thougth this would be over by end of july, now it looks like august. I need massage therapy to get my back into one piece again, ugh! And yes, dating... not that I have anything going on, but it puts a whole weirdness to even trying to call someone up (with an ex RIGHT THERE). Bah, now I'm just bitching... thanks for reading... and i know i know, need to be more proactive :)

[stonemonkey]

So Home is really weird, and my little sanctuary has been violated.

I lived in a sharehouse with a pair of bitchy girls so I can sympathise with the torturous experience of having the your sanctuary violated, 'defiled' if you will. It really wears you down when the one place you come back to escape the stress from work turns out to be even more stressful. I ended up staying away from the house as much as I could, using it just for a place to sleep.

You've got to get out of there, though. At some point, you have to give the 'nice guy' routine a rest for the sake of your own sanity. You've got to look out for number one.

[wordsmith]

Hmmm. Bad plan to be sharing accommodations long-term (by long-term, I mean longer than crashing there for a night or weekend, which can be weird/awkward enough) with somebody with whom you have a complicated history and romantically entangled past. But then, you know this. Don't know what else to tell you.

[Desiderata]

Don't know what else to tell you.

Perhaps to get my head out of my ass? Ah well, place to myself for the weekend, so if that goes well and stress ensues when she returns... it's time for a chat

[stonemonkey]

If you MUST be a nice guy, you can always help her look for somewhere else to live, because it's for the best (for both of you) that you stop living together.