1/2 the time you dated to get over someone?

[Kitty]

So, i'm sure you all have heard the idea that it takes you 1/2 the total time you dated someone to get over them after you break up. Has anyone else found this mathematical dating equation to be exceptionally accurate?

[Stormshadow]

No.

...........................

[Taza Tikha]

No. It took me a year to get over somebody I'd been dating for just a few months. It would probably take me a year (or until the next guy came along, that seems to speed up recovery) to get over somebody whether I'd been dating him for six months or 10 years.

[GoodGirl77]

Not accurate at all. According to that equation, I should have been over my ex three months ago. I agree with the above post - I think another person coming into the picture definitely helps to speed up the recovery time.

[morningstar]

I sincerely hope that is not true!

[Winter Storm]

Not at all.

My last relationship lasted 8 years and I'll be damned if it would take me 4 years to get over his ass. I started dating again right away and was well past things in 3 months! By 6 months, I was getting over another guy I was totally infatuated with. I think it depends on various factors but with me, I almost will it away. I'm getting better and better and quicker at it.

[capella]

I think it depends on how shocking the break up is. I know that when my 3-year relationship with my first BF ended I had already been getting over him for about a year then. But the next was a shock and it hurt more actually. I think it depends on how ready you were for it to end.

[cornflakegirl]

i have heard a month for every year. so dated for 3 years, takes 3 months to get over the person.

[biodork]

i have heard a month for every year. so dated for 3 years, takes 3 months to get over the person.
That actually seems more accurate to me, especially based off what everyone else was saying.

[Kitty]

Well, I guess I'm alone in this one. :bigger:

[shimmer728]

I certainly hope it wouldn't take four years to get over someone you dated for say eight years.....that's a long-ass time to be hung up on someone!

[Mad Dawg]

God I hope not, because if it's true I am only 1 year into a 2.5 year hell.

[shygirly]

I think it depends on the person and the feelings you have for the other person

[KeepRockin]

I think it depends on how shocking the break up is. I know that when my 3-year relationship with my first BF ended I had already been getting over him for about a year then. But the next was a shock and it hurt more actually. I think it depends on how ready you were for it to end.
I agree with this one; the shock factor most definitely plays a part...I was with a guy for 3 1/2 years and was over him in, like, 2 months (maybe less!). The relationship was in sh!tsville for a while and I wasn't happy with him (even though he's a great guy and we're still friends). More recently, my boyfriend of almost 6 months broke up with me out of the blue and with little explanation. I have a feeling it'll take me longer than 2 months to get over this one- I was so in love with him and so invested in the relationship.

[inuts]

There is no math at all. You get over someone when you get over someone. Mathematics don't apply to human emotion ever.

[pisces2473]

There is no math at all. You get over someone when you get over someone. Mathematics don't apply to human emotion ever.
I totally agree. I think these "equations" are just as stupid as those "rules" that will get a guy to like you.

[shimmer728]

Also agree, inuts.

I dated my first BF ever for like 2.5 months. The relationship was a total train wreck and it took me probably four months to get over him. My boyfriend after that I dated for three months. I think I was over him within the day. Seriously.

It totally depends.

[wordsmith]

The idea that there's a mathematical formula to how long it takes to no longer be in love with someone is as absurd as the idea that there's a mathematical formula for falling love. There are people in my life I'll probably always have feelings for, and some of them are people I was never "with."

[Bugsey34]

Yeah it depends on the circumstances of the relationship and the break up. Sometimes a break up is mutual, or initiated by you. In that case, it probably won't take as long as if it were some devastating surprise thing.

[embrassezla]

actually the saying i've heard is that it takes TWICE the time you were together to get over the person. for me, this has been quite accurate.

[shimmer728]

actually the saying i've heard is that it takes TWICE the time you were together to get over the person. for me, this has been quite accurate.

Holy hell, that's depressing. Glad it's not true in every case!

[cornflakegirl]

actually the saying i've heard is that it takes TWICE the time you were together to get over the person. for me, this has been quite accurate.

great so i'll stop hearing about my mom's divorce in 45 years????

[KeepRockin]

actually the saying i've heard is that it takes TWICE the time you were together to get over the person. for me, this has been quite accurate.
I would JUST be getting over the guy that I started dating during my senior year of high school....I've had 2 really great relationships since then. I stick with thinking it's all situational.

[embrassezla]

i kind of take "getting over" to mean, you'd be genuinely happy for the person if you found out they'd moved on in some way. not that you can't sustain another relationship because you are so hung up.

[Deadend]

actually the saying i've heard is that it takes TWICE the time you were together to get over the person. for me, this has been quite accurate.

Actually this is not the first time I've heard this. I've also heard a week for every month, so that would be 1/4 of the time. But a month for every year (1/12) sounds a little on the slim side for me. Depends on the situation I guess.

I think it has to do with the circumstances of the break up AND the ammount of experiance you have with dealing with it. For your first *real heartbreak*, ya twice, definately seen it happen.

[KeepRockin]

Just came across this quote from Sex and the City:

Charlotte: It takes half the total time you went out with someone to get over them.
Carrie: I always like a good math solution to any love problem.

It fits perfectly into this thread! :p As much as I love the show, I disagree with this one...

[Deadend]

You want math? I'll give you math!

I've been studying control theory all night soo........

Is it really a linear function? Maybe it's linearized for certain domains, so a 20 year marriage it might be a month for every year, but for a 6 week whirlwind romance it'll take 12 weeks to get over.

Actually, I think it's a log function. Contantly fading away to zero but never actually reaching it. Therefore, a more appropriate question would be "what is the half-life of getting over someone". You cut how much you think about them in half every three weeks or somthing.

Is there any offset? Which is to say, does it fade to zero or some proportional constant? In my experiance, I'd say probably not. It's definately higher order because there is overshoot if you try to get over someone too quickly. This is definately the concern you should be thinking about when trying to get over someone. Don't hate them too much, because you'll find yourself wasting your time thinking about them, but this time in a negative light. Then you try to think "oh well, they wern't that bad", just because you want to think about them less and then you're back to missing them again, so you try to think poorly of them. Hence the oscillation. This is bad, getting over someone means not thinking about them at all - one way or the other.

[shimmer728]

*cough* NERD! ;)

[embrassezla]

You want math? I'll give you math!

I've been studying control theory all night soo........

Is it really a linear function? Maybe it's linearized for certain domains, so a 20 year marriage it might be a month for every year, but for a 6 week whirlwind romance it'll take 12 weeks to get over.

Actually, I think it's a log function. Contantly fading away to zero but never actually reaching it. Therefore, a more appropriate question would be "what is the half-life of getting over someone". You cut how much you think about them in half every three weeks or somthing.

Is there any offset? Which is to say, does it fade to zero or some proportional constant? In my experiance, I'd say probably not. It's definately higher order because there is overshoot if you try to get over someone too quickly. This is definately the concern you should be thinking about when trying to get over someone. Don't hate them too much, because you'll find yourself wasting your time thinking about them, but this time in a negative light. Then you try to think "oh well, they wern't that bad", just because you want to think about them less and then you're back to missing them again, so you try to think poorly of them. Hence the oscillation. This is bad, getting over someone means not thinking about them at all - one way or the other.

speaking of nerd, i studied control theory for 3 years in college & grad school, hah! this should have been my thesis topic.

[heatherf]

Totally depends on the relationship....but for me, it's pretty much the same amount of time I was with the person- I need that to get all the kinks out of my brain.

[tina1979]

I think it depends on how shocking the break up is. I know that when my 3-year relationship with my first BF ended I had already been getting over him for about a year then.
I feel kinda heartless when I admit this outloud sometimes, but when I left my husband I was done. I was already over "him". I did think about going back a few times, but that was because of the period of adjusting to not seeing my child everyday. That sucked ass I used to cry the night before she left my house and every night she was gone. It took the relationship a long time to die, but when it did, there was no reviving it and I had no reason to mourn it.

[KeepRockin]

I'm thinking more and more about this since I'm 3 weeks out of a relationship that I thought was going well...I was basically dumped with a lame excuse and not much explanation. I'm bitter, I'm hurt...but I don't blame him- he's entitled to his opinion. What's making this so hard in comparison to my last break-up is that I wanted things to work with this one. The last guy, a 3 1/2-year relationship, ended gradually over time and I had the final say in breaking up. This wasn't the case with the more recent one, not even close.

:cry: I think it's much harder to get over having your heart broken than breaking someone else's heart.