Am I a player?

[spritefairy]

Ok here's my situation and I need some advice....preferably from a male perspective.

I have been dating/engaged to/broke up/now quasi-back together with a guy for 3 years. He is overcoming drug abuse, financial issues and custody battle....but we love each other. He has been out of state for 6 months and says he has really changed and wants to start over.

For the most part I've been waiting for him and hoping we'd work out in the end. BUT the past few months, I have become friends with a guy that I am starting to entertain thoughts of liking more, and I'm pretty sure he's sending the same signals....flirting etc.....so if he asks me out or verbalizes these feelings, what do I do?

OPT 1Tell him that I need to get closure on this past relationship with old guy first? OPT 2Give it another swing in order to know for sure if its over, and if it is, THEN date new guy?

Not tell him, and just kinda date new guy and talk through issues with quasi old guy

If I tell him option 1 and are honest about my 3 year relationship, will he be wiling to wait until I figure things out and get closure or will he feel like he is second best etc.????

Am I strange to love one guy and yet (due to some things lacking in that relationship) attracted to and liking another guy?
Granted new guy would be easier relationship than working through our deep isues with old guy...

[Angyl]

Tina -

I'm not a man, but i can pretend to be!

I would tell the dude the truth about Guy. I'm a storng proponent of honesty, and if he cares about you, he'll be willing to wait a bit while you figure your shit out.

[and1grad]

I say option 2. You tell a guy a story like that and he might be gone b4 you even finish. Dont sabotage yourself in an attempt to be forthcoming. Being attracted to someone else isnt weird....BUT a significant change in 6 months is. What kind of change? How did it come about? I've yet to know someone who's changed, as drastically as this guy seems to need to, in that short a timespan. Buena Suerte.

[temptation]

I don't understand why you would think you are a player. If you were a player you would:

-Hook up with the new guy without hesitation.
-String him along to see how things work out.
-Pretend everything is hunky dory with your BF.
-Then do whatever suits you.

I'm not saying to do those things. I'm just saying it doesn't seem like you are a player from your post.

[tdko]

My advice is, don't bring your new guy into your old shit. I'd be honest, but not too honest. He should know you have a boyfriend, and if your boyfriend asks he should know you're seeing someone else. (I mean, assuming that's what you do.) But don't unload on the new boy and expect him to wait around. That's just unfair to him.

What you need to do is make a decision. Either your relationship with your bf is worth working for, or it's done. Either way, you shouldn't string along either guy.