saturnlena
03-11-2003, 07:40 PM
Hey to all. I'm new to this board but I'm definitely not new to QLC's. But this seems like a good forum to just you know get it (whatever IT is) out there. I'm sure everyone here appreciates a good venting=) So here's my story (I'll try to make it brief but, honestly, it won't be...I'm known for being "wordy").
My uncle looked at my palm and said, "You're a worry wart." Man did he have it right. QLC began at 18. I don't know why it did because supposedly I did everything I had to do to be a good daughter, sister, and college applicant. I had at least 2-7 years before that hit, right? Uh no. Life hit...the choices and uncertainty hit. When you're young you FEEL like you have the world at your fingertips. You're eager. Confident. I could do anything...then it HIT me...I could do ANYTHING. I was scared. I mean my parents came from a country where you were basically an engineer or in the military if you were a man OR a nurse, accountant, or teacher if you were a woman. They were limited. My mom never wanted to be a nurse but she had no choice--those were the options and she felt trapped. Here I am...first generation American-born girl in a liberal society with choices...and I felt trapped. Ironic isn't it?
The thoughts creeped in..."law school, that's for me. i kinda like it and money..then mom and dad won't have to worry about yadada. but wait i'm creative...i want to explore...but no no future. no security. what do i do with my life...yadada...no you shouldn't transfer...stay here..save money...yadada" You know the drill...relationships..career...family...friends.. .school. What I hated the most were lame answers like "Don't worry about it. You don't have to decide until you're a Junior." "You have plenty of time." Ok...and? How is that helpful.
I'll fast forward now...I'm 23 and guess what I'm still as confused as ever BUT the uncertainty doesn't bother me as much anymore. I graduated from a school that I love where my experiences (good and bad) are probably worth more to me than my degree. I'm a new grad and I'm still looking for that job. Life is still uncertain and to tell you the truth I'm not where I thought I was going to be at this age. I still get scared but I think I would be more nervous if I wasn't scared.
Sometimes I wish I could think more linearly..from pt A to pt. B. But nooo...my habit is having A, then little a, roman numeral I then little i bulleting and indenting every single point in my existence until maybe I get to pt B. I dissect everything. Sometimes I wish I could really fast-forward and be placed into my future life about 6 years from now. You know skip all this hard stuff that makes being a twentysomething such as double-edge sword.
I don't think a QLC is a syndrome or a disease like I've heard some people call it. And I wouldn't call it the generation of "complainers" and "spoiled" kids as Bryant Gumbel called it. It is what it is. Life. I do believe the time between 18-28yo is the hardest period in a person's life. This is where we are suppose to be putting down the foundations for everything. But it just helps to know that I'm not alone. If you made it this far down this thread I just want to say Thanks and to everyone hang in there!
My uncle looked at my palm and said, "You're a worry wart." Man did he have it right. QLC began at 18. I don't know why it did because supposedly I did everything I had to do to be a good daughter, sister, and college applicant. I had at least 2-7 years before that hit, right? Uh no. Life hit...the choices and uncertainty hit. When you're young you FEEL like you have the world at your fingertips. You're eager. Confident. I could do anything...then it HIT me...I could do ANYTHING. I was scared. I mean my parents came from a country where you were basically an engineer or in the military if you were a man OR a nurse, accountant, or teacher if you were a woman. They were limited. My mom never wanted to be a nurse but she had no choice--those were the options and she felt trapped. Here I am...first generation American-born girl in a liberal society with choices...and I felt trapped. Ironic isn't it?
The thoughts creeped in..."law school, that's for me. i kinda like it and money..then mom and dad won't have to worry about yadada. but wait i'm creative...i want to explore...but no no future. no security. what do i do with my life...yadada...no you shouldn't transfer...stay here..save money...yadada" You know the drill...relationships..career...family...friends.. .school. What I hated the most were lame answers like "Don't worry about it. You don't have to decide until you're a Junior." "You have plenty of time." Ok...and? How is that helpful.
I'll fast forward now...I'm 23 and guess what I'm still as confused as ever BUT the uncertainty doesn't bother me as much anymore. I graduated from a school that I love where my experiences (good and bad) are probably worth more to me than my degree. I'm a new grad and I'm still looking for that job. Life is still uncertain and to tell you the truth I'm not where I thought I was going to be at this age. I still get scared but I think I would be more nervous if I wasn't scared.
Sometimes I wish I could think more linearly..from pt A to pt. B. But nooo...my habit is having A, then little a, roman numeral I then little i bulleting and indenting every single point in my existence until maybe I get to pt B. I dissect everything. Sometimes I wish I could really fast-forward and be placed into my future life about 6 years from now. You know skip all this hard stuff that makes being a twentysomething such as double-edge sword.
I don't think a QLC is a syndrome or a disease like I've heard some people call it. And I wouldn't call it the generation of "complainers" and "spoiled" kids as Bryant Gumbel called it. It is what it is. Life. I do believe the time between 18-28yo is the hardest period in a person's life. This is where we are suppose to be putting down the foundations for everything. But it just helps to know that I'm not alone. If you made it this far down this thread I just want to say Thanks and to everyone hang in there!