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dreams82
08-04-2005, 10:52 AM
So... I like this guy who is 2 years younger than me. I am 23, he's 21, do you guys think this is acceptable? Would people look down upon me or him if we started dating? What's the age difference with people on the boards and your SO's?

wtbforever21
08-04-2005, 10:58 AM
Um, no way. That's just a two year difference. You guys are practically the same age.

LakeJay
08-04-2005, 11:01 AM
Forget about it. Will people look down at you if you dated him? I hope not but don't let that be a factor in whether you pursue a relationship with him. Go for it and see where it goes. A couple of female friends of mine actually married guys a couple years younger than them and they couldn't be any happier.

ebruening
08-04-2005, 11:02 AM
Do what feels comfortable to the both of you in this situation. I personally don't have a problem dating guys who are slightly younger than me (and preferably out of college) or several years older than me. However, I've found that some guys approaching, or already in, their 30s don't care to date a gal in her younger 20s...just my experience.

temptation
08-04-2005, 11:04 AM
Age is just a number.

preludemd
08-04-2005, 11:05 AM
Just my opinion, but once both people are past the age of 21...age doesn't really matter. Unless of course you're 23 and the other person is 80. But that's only ok if the one that's 80 years old is insanely rich...haha.

spokes
08-04-2005, 11:08 AM
it's not like you are 18 and he is 16.

A couple of yrs back I dated a woman who was younger than me, and then I dated a woman who was older than me. My expereince with this was interesting as the younger one was not overly wise in the ways of the world and how much things really cost - i.e. we went out for dinner on friday night and I spent about $75, we went out to a bar on Sat and I spent about $50 and then sunday she wanted to go to a movie and I sugeested goign dutch and she said if I couldn't afford to go out that we shouldn't get together.....(i was livng on my own at teh time and she was a co-op student at one of the local universities). The cost for me wasn't the issue, I just felt I had treated her quite nicely that weekend and I didn't want to blow my entertainment budget........she was pretty miffed about it all and I jsut chalked it up to her youthful exuberance......

wordsmith
08-04-2005, 11:10 AM
A two-year age difference is nothing, in terms of gaps in relating to various things, etc. I've been in relationships with guys from three years my junior to ten years my senior.

WeirdBrake
08-04-2005, 11:12 AM
it's not like you are 18 and he is 16.

A couple of yrs back I dated a woman who was younger than me, and then I dated a woman who was older than me. My expereince with this was interesting as the younger one was not overly wise in the ways of the world and how much things really cost - i.e. we went out for dinner on friday night and I spent about $75, we went out to a bar on Sat and I spent about $50 and then sunday she wanted to go to a movie and I sugeested goign dutch and she said if I couldn't afford to go out that we shouldn't get together.....(i was livng on my own at teh time and she was a co-op student at one of the local universities). The cost for me wasn't the issue, I just felt I had treated her quite nicely that weekend and I didn't want to blow my entertainment budget........she was pretty miffed about it all and I jsut chalked it up to her youthful exuberance......

She sounds like a real whore, to be honest. I think you blew $125 on this bitch and STILL got off cheap! Imagine how much she would've taken you for if you had any kind of long-term relationship.

Anyway, I agree with everyone else. Age is just a number.

ebruening
08-04-2005, 11:15 AM
it's not like you are 18 and he is 16.

A couple of yrs back I dated a woman who was younger than me, and then I dated a woman who was older than me. My expereince with this was interesting as the younger one was not overly wise in the ways of the world and how much things really cost - i.e. we went out for dinner on friday night and I spent about $75, we went out to a bar on Sat and I spent about $50 and then sunday she wanted to go to a movie and I sugeested goign dutch and she said if I couldn't afford to go out that we shouldn't get together.....(i was livng on my own at teh time and she was a co-op student at one of the local universities). The cost for me wasn't the issue, I just felt I had treated her quite nicely that weekend and I didn't want to blow my entertainment budget........she was pretty miffed about it all and I jsut chalked it up to her youthful exuberance......

I always find it interesting to hear of women who expect men to pay for everything. I'm not at all convinced that it comes down to them "just being raised that way," either. My family has always expected men to pay for everything on a date, regardless of who asked whom. I prefer to go dutch on dates, and drive myself to and from the location. Just my opinion.

coll214
08-04-2005, 11:17 AM
2 years is nothing. I've never dated anyone younger than me, but that's not to say I wouldn't rule it out. If you both are comfortable with it, then who cares!! One couple I know of have about a 20 year age difference (she's 20, he's 40) and you know what, even they fit together! You just never know.

temptation
08-04-2005, 11:18 AM
it's not like you are 18 and he is 16.

A couple of yrs back I dated a woman who was younger than me, and then I dated a woman who was older than me. My expereince with this was interesting as the younger one was not overly wise in the ways of the world and how much things really cost - i.e. we went out for dinner on friday night and I spent about $75, we went out to a bar on Sat and I spent about $50 and then sunday she wanted to go to a movie and I sugeested goign dutch and she said if I couldn't afford to go out that we shouldn't get together.....(i was livng on my own at teh time and she was a co-op student at one of the local universities). The cost for me wasn't the issue, I just felt I had treated her quite nicely that weekend and I didn't want to blow my entertainment budget........she was pretty miffed about it all and I jsut chalked it up to her youthful exuberance......


Wut!? If a girl's only reason for going out with me was to see how much money she could get out of me then I would boot her out the door quick. I don't care how young you are....that's ridiculous.

I'm not cheap by any means but I am so weary of being used. The slightest sign of BS and I'm gone.

samender
08-04-2005, 11:26 AM
That is not a large gap at all...besides do what makes you happy. If you like the guy do not worry about what other people think. I would see no reason why anyone would find a 2 yr gap a big deal.

biodork
08-04-2005, 11:27 AM
I say age doesn't matter, just the maturity level. Some people who are 21 act like they are 30, but some who are 30 might act like they are 18. Just depends on what you are looking for in a person.

So go for it! :p

spokes
08-04-2005, 11:30 AM
i did like the young woman in question, however one day she mentioned to me how "i made her fell special" and i couldn't say the same thing about her, so i just let the relationship fizzle.

J-girl
08-04-2005, 11:41 AM
I am 25 and I look 19, I always get hit on by 21-22 year old guys. I dont really mind it as long as they are mature and on the same level as me. I just dated a 30 year old moron, and I know guys my age who are more mature. So when it comes to men- its a hit and miss really :p

I personally dont feel 21 and 23 is a big difference. Dont worry about people talking smack.

tina1979
08-04-2005, 11:43 AM
My grandmother was a couple of years older than my grandfather.
My sister dated a guy who was 19 or 20 and she was 23. It worked out fine until it hit him that her kids weren't going anywhere. They were the attraction in the beginning because he thought he was a dad until the paternity test turned up and he wasn't. ( I guess I should mention that the kid he thought was his was not from my sister, but a previous gf)

preludemd
08-04-2005, 11:47 AM
Hell there's 11 years difference between my parents and they've been married for 28 years.

shimmer728
08-04-2005, 12:00 PM
Two years is nothing.

wordsmith
08-04-2005, 12:01 PM
I prefer to go dutch on dates, and drive myself to and from the location. Just my opinion.

Me, too. I actually get pretty uncomfortable with people spending money on me.

temptation
08-04-2005, 12:15 PM
Me, too. I actually get pretty uncomfortable with people spending money on me.

Really? Where can I find a woman like you?

Kitty
08-04-2005, 12:17 PM
I am 24 and my bf is 40! I'm totally happy with it because he looks and acts young.

I have also dated guys younger than me.

wordsmith
08-04-2005, 12:27 PM
Really? Where can I find a woman like you?

Anywhere where people are raised poor and attach extreme guilt issues to basic expenditures?

temptation
08-04-2005, 12:30 PM
I am 24 and my bf is 40! I'm totally happy with it because he looks and acts young.

I have also dated guys younger than me.


There we go. And don't tell me that a 20 year old woman would be turned off by Johnny Depp or Brad Pitt. I don't really buy that.

And for the men....I'm sure a 20 year old guy would jump at the chance to date Halle Berry or Angelina Jolie.

Of course these are extreme examples but I'm just trying to say that age doesn't matter if you find someone attractive.

SheriLou
08-04-2005, 12:42 PM
I think it is all about what stage you are in in life. Everyone hits different maturity levels at different times based on their experiences. If he is the 21 year old who is still wanting to go get drunk every night because he can and go to lots of college parties, etc. and you are just the opposite. I think it will be hard to work. But if you guys are on similiar wave lengths about how you want to live your life...what the hell. Go for it!!

agweitzel
08-04-2005, 12:47 PM
Age doesn't really seem to be a big deal when the difference is only a couple of years. My current boyfriend is a couple of years younger than me, and it really doesn't seem to make much difference...although, I did date a guy who was about 10 years older than me, and that seemed to be a little weirder....like he remembered going to Star Wars in the movie theater and I wasn't even born yet...I would say that the biggest thing to consider is behavior and how you relate to one another...my aunt and her husband have a 20 year age difference, and yet they are the perfect complement for one another. When the age difference is that great, I think it sometimes does take other people a while to get used to the situation, but I don't think they necessarily "look down" on the couple.
Just remember, it's not about other people anyway, if you are happy. People will respond to your happiness in the relationship, and will forget about insignificant things, like age.

temptation
08-04-2005, 12:51 PM
I am 25 and I look 19, I always get hit on by 21-22 year old guys. I dont really mind it as long as they are mature and on the same level as me. I just dated a 30 year old moron, and I know guys my age who are more mature. So when it comes to men- its a hit and miss really :p

I personally dont feel 21 and 23 is a big difference. Dont worry about people talking smack.


Yeah. I'm 26 and I look about 20. I get hit on by all age groups. Last week two 15 year old girls said I looked manly in my shirt. I still got it!

midtwenty
08-04-2005, 12:53 PM
Anywhere where people are raised poor and attach extreme guilt issues to basic expenditures?
*raises hand*
Um, right here. That would be me.
In fact, my aunt complained to my mom a couple months back that nothing on my baby registry was over $30 bucks. My mom's response was, "Julie is conservative by nature and doesn't like people spending a lot of money on her. Anything you get her, she will love." And it's true. I'd much rather spend my money on people I love than the other way around.

Back to the topic at hand:
I'm 8 months older than Steve. *shrug* Never really cared, don't think about it unless someone specifically asks.

wordsmith
08-04-2005, 12:57 PM
Same here, mid, same here.

cornflakegirl
08-04-2005, 12:58 PM
Anywhere where people are raised poor and attach extreme guilt issues to basic expenditures?

i wasn't raised poor at all, but i still have guilt when people pay for things for me.


i agree, 2 years is insignificant.

J-girl
08-04-2005, 12:59 PM
Anywhere where people are raised poor and attach extreme guilt issues to basic expenditures?
LOL after this comment, temptation gently steps back :lol:

SmilesSoSweet
08-04-2005, 01:40 PM
My sister will be 30 next month and her bf is 45 divorced with two kids. I met him for the first time last week and he's really cool. At first his family was a little worried that my sister was on the young side, but now they've adjusted. My parents are okay with it. As long as your happy, that's all that matters. I used to have issues dating guys who were only 5 or 6 years older, now it doesn't matter to me. I got over it. I haven't dated a guy younger than me since high school, but I think I'd be okay with it as long as we are both on the same level. My brother and his soon-to-be wife are two and half years apart - 27 and 25, respectively.

temptation
08-04-2005, 02:03 PM
LOL after this comment, temptation gently steps back :lol:


:)


_____________________

wordsmith
08-04-2005, 02:05 PM
Um, yeah, no socialite, here. :googly:

biodork
08-04-2005, 02:09 PM
I actually wasn't raised in a poor area and I still don't like people paying for me. I feel like I'm in debt to them. I'm already in debt to credit card companies and such, and it's even worse to me when I feel in debt to friends.

But then again I WAS raised in family where doing things (like giving money or buying items) for other family members meant you were in debt for them and damn well better not complain if they ask you to do something (even if that something is completely retarded or disgusting) else otherwise past instances of being "nice" are brought up and used against you to make you feel guilty.

temptation
08-04-2005, 02:16 PM
I actually wasn't raised in a poor area and I still don't like people paying for me. I feel like I'm in debt to them. I'm already in debt to credit card companies and such, and it's even worse to me when I feel in debt to friends.

But then again I WAS raised in family where doing things (like giving money or buying items) for other family members meant you were in debt for them and damn well better not complain if they ask you to do something (even if that something is completely retarded or disgusting) else otherwise past instances of being "nice" are brought up and used against you to make you feel guilty.

Too bad more people aren't like this. A lot of people I know don't have any problem using MY money--friends and women included. I guess that's why I only have a handful of people who I would consider friends.

natbumpo
08-04-2005, 02:17 PM
I am 27 and my SO is 32. Do it up...craddle robber :p

k.monster
08-04-2005, 03:00 PM
I'm 26 and my bf is 36 - it works just fine for us. On the financial aspect of things he makes a ton more money than I do, owes a house (a nice big one), and is setting himself up to retire at an early age. Then there is me, who doesn't make a lot of money, lives in an apartment with a roomate, and retirement? Forget it, I'm still working towards a savings account!

He pays for almost everything - I try to pay for some things but I think that makes him uncomfortable. (I've actually had to pay the bar tab off while he was in the bathroom once or twice)

Desiderata
08-04-2005, 06:44 PM
With dating what it comes down to is maturity. Which age has NOTHING to do with (just look at WB). If you're both of the same kind of mindset, then no worries... its only when one is mature and other is immature that problems begin.

wordsmith
08-04-2005, 06:45 PM
its only when one is mature and other is immature that problems begin.

Quite true. In one case, this even was an issue with a guy ten years older than I am.

Desiderata
08-04-2005, 06:49 PM
Quite true. In one case, this even was an issue with a guy ten years older than I am.

So who was the mature one? :rolleyes:

WeirdBrake
08-04-2005, 06:51 PM
With dating what it comes down to is maturity. Which age has NOTHING to do with (just look at WB).

How I missed you while I was away, Desi!

wordsmith
08-04-2005, 06:51 PM
Well, I'll just give you a little insight into that and let you guess. I recently heard that he's now (at 38) dating a high schooler. Excuse me. High school drop-out. But a teenager. Mmmhmmm.

Not somebody I was with for long...like, two or three dates over the course of a month.

Kitty
08-04-2005, 06:53 PM
Well, I'll just give you a little insight into that and let you guess. I recently heard that he's now (at 38) dating a high schooler. Excuse me. High school drop-out. But a teenager. Mmmhmmm.



Eww..WTF?

I once went on a couple dates with someone who ended up admitting he was attracted to girls around 15-16. Super creepy.

Desiderata
08-04-2005, 06:59 PM
How I missed you while I was away, Desi!

just wait till I need a lawyer...or bail

wordsmith
08-04-2005, 07:02 PM
Eww..WTF?

I once went on a couple dates with someone who ended up admitting he was attracted to girls around 15-16. Super creepy.

Yup. Issues, much? It became apparent REALLY quickly that I didn't need to be dating him.

Kitty
08-04-2005, 07:03 PM
Yup, I had the same early realization.

Desiderata
08-04-2005, 07:06 PM
Yup. Issues, much? It became apparent REALLY quickly that I didn't need to be dating him.

he keeps getting older, they stay the same age... oh wait, this ISNT a movie, and just plain wrong

wordsmith
08-04-2005, 07:13 PM
Hah! And he, sir, is NO Matthew McConnaughey.

Cole
08-04-2005, 08:09 PM
hm... when I was 15, I dated a guy who was 18 - I was a freshman, he was a senior. But because of who we each were and where we were both at in life, it was fine, at least until he went to college.

When I was 18 I dated a guy who was 23. That was a really bad idea. Thank goodness I didn't sleep with him.

I'm now 23 and my bf is 26. I feel like we're the same age, except that I'm still trying to get a job, apartment, and car, while he has a great job, pays a mortgage on a townhouse instead of rent on an apartment, and has his own car.

We talked about the paying for dates thing. He usually pays since he makes more money and doesn't have tuition or loans to pay off. He also just feels like its appropriate for him to pay for things. That, and if he didn't, we'd almost never go out, 'cuz I can't afford it. I don't let myself feel guyilty, but I do try to do nice things in return - make him dinner, pay for little things like parking, or show up with a bottle of wine on occasion. Of course, he's also getting a ton of free massages (my homework) which usually cost about $60 an hour. So it's probably about even.