Have you ever met someone (20something) who has never worked before?

[AmbrNrgy]

I'm talking about healthy and capable people. If they don't work, what do they do? Where do they get their money from?

I think I'd get bored if I didn't have a job to go to. Being unemployed was depressing.

[wordsmith]

Yup. She stays at home (her parents' home) and watches her niece and nephew occcasionally and hangs out with her boyfriend a lot. She did have a short-lived full time job once, though, and occasionally does some pickup work for the family business, mostly filing and receptionist work, kind of when she feels like it. She's not the sort of person who's ever had any overriding ambition, and she feels no great pull to have a career. She also has no expenses to speak of. For what she does have, she has a family that picks up the tab.

Another person I know is a stay at home mom, and has only worked a few part time jobs in her life. She's getting bored with it and does subsititute teaching on occasion. Her degree is in art (painting), and she's the sort of person who doesn't want what she considers to be a mundane job, she wants something that uses her artistic background, which she's not likely to find without moving. Her husband financially supports her and their daughter.

[AmbrNrgy]

Yeah, I guess it's no big deal if you have a man to support you. lol. I need to find one of those!

[Ciderhillnh]

Most of the people I graduated high school with are in this situation. 2 of them I dated (a pattern maybe?!)

The first went to a college in AZ where if your GPA and SAT scores fall in the blue part of the chart you are admitted. He flunked out the first semester and went to a community college where he flunked out again (his parents meanwhile paying for everything)----he continued to live out there and do nothing.
Finally he moved home and did nothing here. He just started going back to college (on his parents dime) because at 27 he finally thinks he might want to take some classes.

The second his parents pay for everything. He gambles money they give him. He goes on lavish vacations (from what I dont know since he doesnt do anything), his parents pay for his car, cell phone, gas for the car, credit cards and whatever he charges they cover.

I have no idea how or why they do it or why their parents let them, but its so annoying!

[AmbrNrgy]

^How is that not embarrassing for him, though? You know? I'd feel weird being supported by my parents at 27. I'm sorry but a 27 year old male should be way beyond self-sufficient. I think that's borderline unattractive.

[wordsmith]

My one acquaintance who lives with her parents at nearly 30 wonders why she has a hard time finding a boyfriend...I seriously don't think it's ever occurred to her that people who have no goals, interests, or identities of their own and who expect others to support them might be considered unattractive options by many.

[wtbforever21]

Work as in the typical 9-5 office job? Or work as in any ol' job?

If you're talking about my first question, I'm one of them. I've held many part-time jobs, but no 9-5 office jobs. I'm going to grad school though. I have zero interest working in business, law, or medicine. Some reason I have some sort of an aversion working in any field except for in education. That pretty much goes for non-professional jobs too, except for bartending and serving. If I didn't get into grad school, that was going to be my plan. I was going to waitress and substitute teach until I got enough money to start my own business. My dream is to be one of those reality tv famewhores who lives off of challenges and guest speaking at colleges. :D

[MegeggersUNC]

As a social worker I see a LOT of people who are our age who've never worked. It never ceases to amaze me. And obviously, since I'm in contact with them in the first place they're not doing so great mooching off others, but a lot of them don't even know HOW to look for a job! A lot of them still live at home, or were stay-at-home spouses/ SO's until they got dumped, or are crashing with different friends or family members.

Most of them also have NO education, NO life skills, and major chemical dependency issues. I realize that this is a minority of the population of our peers, but DAMN y'all! I had one guy come in who has NEVER gone to school. EVER. How is that even possible in this day and age?! I was shocked.

I can totally understand if you are a FT student in college or grad school or something not working even a PT job, but otherwise? Puh-lease! Get off your ass, unless you have a documented medical reason why you can't work!

[wordsmith]

I got the impression we were talking about people who are unemployed, not people who work "joe jobs." That's what I'm talking about, anyway. I'm also not talking about students. I'm talking about people who neither go to school (or maybe are done with school), nor work.

[Kitty]

It's more common that you'd think. I know a few people in this boat. We all graduated college two years ago and some of them pretty much refuse to get jobs and are living off their parents/bf/whatever.

[kimmer23]

i actually know more guys that havent had jobs than girls. it really pisses me off too because these guys are the boyfriends of my friends. i still think even if you go to school, after a certain point its time to get a part time job and help out if you are still living at home or if your GF is supporting you.

[ebruening]

I have an acquaintance who doesn't work. He receives Social Security benefits, but he won't tell me what it's for. (I'm suspecting it has to do with his mental health.) He reads a lot, and is far more intelligent than I am. I'm going to sound very small and petty when I say that BECAUSE he appears fit and able to work, has a high level of intelligence, and appears to be socially competent, I find myself getting angry that my tax dollars are going to support his lifestyle of relative ease. Perhaps if I knew the real situation, I would no longer have an issue with his unemployment, but I find myself becoming increasingly upset with the social services system as a whole. :(

[kimmer23]

I have an acquaintance who doesn't work. He receives Social Security benefits, but he won't tell me what it's for. (I'm suspecting it has to do with his mental health.) He reads a lot, and is far more intelligent than I am. I'm going to sound very small and petty when I say that BECAUSE he appears fit and able to work, has a high level of intelligence, and appears to be socially competent, I find myself getting angry that my tax dollars are going to support his lifestyle of relative ease. Perhaps if I knew the real situation, I would no longer have an issue with his unemployment, but I find myself becoming increasingly upset with the social services system as a whole. :(


i too know some people that seem very capable and yet are receiving these benefits as well. but yeah, i dont know the real situation either.

[wordsmith]

My coworker was just (literally, like moments ago, coincidentally) telling me about a former roommate of hers with whom she is still in touch, who is a trust fund kid, and does not, and never has, worked.

It reminds me a lot of the main character in Nick Hornby's "About a Boy," where the main character is a 40-ish man whose dad was a one-hit wonder, writing a novelty Christmas song before he died, and the son lives off the royalties. He's something of a womanizer, and has to go around explaining to women how it is that he doesn't work.

[shimmer728]

I would be bored out of my mind if I didn't work.

[bostongirl]

I used to date a guy who, at 27, have never really had a job... yes, he'd been in school (and still is), but not really full time (he has his undergrad from a very good university and a dual masters from another... now he is in law school...) However, the masters program certainly wasn't full time (he'd take like 2 classes a term)... his parents just bought him whatever (condo in Boston, expensive car, trips to Europe... he always had plenty of spending $$$ too) In the end, it was a BIG turnoff... he's a good guy, and I wish him the best, but in the end, I don't think his parents did him any favors by not insisting he at least partially support himself....

[dazed]

In the end, it was a BIG turnoff... he's a good guy, and I wish him the best, but in the end, I don't think his parents did him any favors by not insisting he at least partially support himself....

yup, spoiling your child rotten is never the right answer.

[XJMP]

I used to know guys who were from very well off backgrounds. (One guy eventually told me, without my asking that he had about $ 500,000 to his name.) They were unwilling to start working after college. So they made up some story about working for a display advertising company, making phenomenal money for very little work. I think it was all bunk, or at least mostly bunk, as was their story about wanting to climb Mount Everest. (The trip to Nepal was supposedly cancelled about a day before they were supposed to go.) They definetely were slackers.

I don't really know what was going on with them. I think a major issue is that they graduated college without serious relationships, and they didn't know what to do with themselves. I am guessing their mostly conservative parents raised their sons to get married at 22. When that didn't happen they just refused to start their careers/adult lives. Maybe they were worried about turning 35 and still being single. That is a legitimate fear, but being a slacker won't help, in my opinion.

I have lost track of them. One of those guys has since died in a terrible accident. I haven't spoken to anyone else in a while. I guess I wish them well.

XJMP

[cornflakegirl]

i have never meet anyone that has never worked before. i find that quite fascinating & sad.

[winneythepooh7]

I know plenty but they all have issues with their mental health which while some of you on here will roll your eyes and question it, if you do not have your basic sanity about you on a day to day basis, seriously, you can't hold down even the most simple of jobs. And in terms of the lovely SSI checks coming in, $300-$600 a month to cover rent and everything else is not a whole lot for these people to make ends meet. Don't even get me started on the process you have to go through to get "entitlements" as well..........

Now I also know a few people who are out of work who have degrees and all that but it's because IMHO they are looking for jobs well outside of their experience level. I am sorry but everyone for the most part starts at the bottom and works their way up. If you have only had 2 month internships here and there and have only worked seasonal work at the GAP, it's pretty obvious to me at least why you are not getting Director-ish jobs in mid-town Manhattan paying $80K per year. In the two particular situations I am thinking of right now, I also think these two people have mental health issues themselves........I mean you have to, to have this kind of thinking about the type of job you are eligible for right?

[XJMP]

Yup. She stays at home (her parents' home) and watches her niece and nephew occcasionally and hangs out with her boyfriend a lot. She did have a short-lived full time job once, though, and occasionally does some pickup work for the family business, mostly filing and receptionist work, kind of when she feels like it. She's not the sort of person who's ever had any overriding ambition, and she feels no great pull to have a career. She also has no expenses to speak of. For what she does have, she has a family that picks up the tab.

Another person I know is a stay at home mom, and has only worked a few part time jobs in her life. She's getting bored with it and does subsititute teaching on occasion. Her degree is in art (painting), and she's the sort of person who doesn't want what she considers to be a mundane job, she wants something that uses her artistic background, which she's not likely to find without moving. Her husband financially supports her and their daughter.

There is a difference, in my opinion, between a person raising her daughter, and a slacker. The women raising her daughter is a stay-at-home mom. The women who merely lacks ambition is a slacker.

XJMP

[taikone]

As far as I can tell, everyone I know has held some kind of job before. I wouldn't mind going back to being supported by my parents, though. I don't like working, and the prospect of a career isn't very appealing. My parents are capable of supporting me, but it would probably be a bad long-term financial decision for both me and them.

[protovack]

Funny thread :)

There was a time in my life where I didn't do much of anything for about a year. This was right after I screwed up at university and didn't know what I was doing with my life.

After a while, I got a job working 7am-4pm at some random warehouse. I did that for 6 months before finally realizing that I didn't want to work "down at the plant" for the rest of my life. Time to go back to school!!!

I definately have an aversion to working shitty jobs. Challenging, high-paying jobs are what I'm after.

[Krishna]

The year I turned twentyone, I lived with 5 people including 2 sisters. The sisters hadn't ever worked a forty hour workweek. In fact, that summer they were annoyed because they needed to get jobs...one of them worked 10 hours a week on campus and the other did maybe 15 hours a week at a retail outlet. The retail outlet lasted maybe 6 weeks. When push came to shove, daddy paid their rent, and daddy's credit cards covered their clothes, food, gas, bills, etc. It was incredibly obnoxious to come back and hear how "busy" their summers were with their stressful jobs. The rest of us worked 40+ hours a week.

[AG_47]

My Sister-in-Law has never had a job. Her and my brother started dating when they were still in high school. She was living with her parents at the time.They lived five hours away from each other so my bother would spend every weekend at her parents house for the two years that they dated. They got married a month after they graduated from high school and my brother moved in with her and her parents. She was thinking about going to go to the local community college for Culinary Arts but she decided not to. My brother went to college for retail management and now works at Godfather's Pizza as district manager. They are now 21 years old and still lives with her parents. Her parents own two houses, one in MN and one in WI, and are mostly at their house in WI. It's like my brother and his wife own the house. They get free rent, free food and she gets full use of her parents credit card. Sometimes her mom will give my brother gas money or help him out with bills. She spends her days babysitting her niece, chatting online, and doing crafts. Last year for Christmas she gave everyone quilts she made. She also has a room full of model cars. Sometimes she helps out with her parents business but its usually only like one weekend a month. I hope I'm as lucky as her and can find a guy that can completely and be willing to support me so I don't have to work.

[SunnyBunny24]

I never had a real job before 20...wish i had one however. im sure that it would have taught me responsibilities that i lack now =/

[cache]

When I first moved to town, I hung out with a couple people who had never worked. They just partied all day, every day and let their parents pick up the tabs.

Their life perspective was pretty sadly distorted.

[weary]

i've met plenty of college kids (20, 21, 22) who've never worked a day in their lives. also went to HS w/ a lot of kids like this. i always thought it was amazing and a little unrealistic. (i'll also admit i was somewhat jealous of them initially...until i realized how clueless they were about some things as a result.) my kid is chomping at the bit to get a job so he can have his "own money" which i find very funny b/c i give him a nice allowance...but i am happy he's wanting to do it. teaches a ton of skills - both life and business - and i know he'll be better for it.

[WorkInProgress]

I don't know that I've ever met anyone who hadn't worked before.

I mean, I didn't hold a full time job until after I graduated college, but I've been working summers since HS. I know a few people (mostly fairly recent college grads) who haven't held full time jobs. But they're either looking for one and/or working part time and/or going to grad school.

I'm so happy my parents made me work. I have no idea how people with no work experience at all get jobs. I feel like it's tough enough for me and I have some and a degree.

[wordsmith]

I was strongly discouraged from working during the school year by my parents when I was a high schooler (I did a few stints of it anyway, but did end up not sticking with it, because it was cutting into my extracurricular involvement, which was more important to me than having pocket money). I did work every summer, though, from when I was 13 on up, though (child field labor being allowed in corn-growing states in the form of corn detassling...ask a midwesterner :rolleyes: ).

[EmberMae]

I can't think of anyone I know like that now. My sophomore roommate had never had a job but she was like 19 at the time and her parents were rich so she didn't have to have PT and summer jobs like the rest of us. I would assume she got a job after graduation, but we didn't keep in touch.

[Kitty]

I roomed with two girls in college who had never had jobs. Nothing. Not even babysitting. They were so clueless when it came time to start looking for jobs after college. I don't think either of them are working (or working full-time) now. They're both married and stay home (even though they don't have kids).

Also, there are a TON of ladies on my other board who don't work and have never worked. A lot of them don't even have kids. Crazy.

[wordsmith]

I always loved babysitting. I did it a lot in college, too, when I lived in the dorms, because many of the head residents had little kids.

[Kitty]

I babysat in college some - mostly during the summer on on breaks. There was one family who I still keep in contact with. I started babysitting for them when I was 14 and did it up until I was about 20.

[weary]

some of the kids i used to babysit are freshmen/sophomores in college right now. makes me feel really friggin' old. :eek:

[Kitty]

some of the kids i used to babysit are freshmen/sophomores in college right now. makes me feel really friggin' old. :eek:

Tell me about it. I used to babysit this little girl who lived next door..and now she's like 19 and a freshman in college. It's so weird...

[wordsmith]

some of the kids i used to babysit are freshmen/sophomores in college right now. makes me feel really friggin' old. :eek:

Some of the kids I used to babysit are GETTING MARRIED.

[NewMrs.]

i've met plenty of college kids (20, 21, 22) who've never worked a day in their lives. also went to HS w/ a lot of kids like this. i always thought it was amazing and a little unrealistic. (i'll also admit i was somewhat jealous of them initially...until i realized how clueless they were about some things as a result.) my kid is chomping at the bit to get a job so he can have his "own money" which i find very funny b/c i give him a nice allowance...but i am happy he's wanting to do it. teaches a ton of skills - both life and business - and i know he'll be better for it.

I really don't see anything wrong with not getting a formal job until after high school graduation. I didn't.

I graduated from high school when I was still seventeen and I got my first formal job two weeks later, right before I turned eighteen. (I baby-sat in high school.) It hasn't stunted my work ethic -I worked all through college and afterward. I have never refused to work because I felt that the job options available to me were "beneath me."

I am not clueless about money management just because I didn't work in high school. I'm actually proud of the way I handled my fiances in college and right after college.

My parents didn't have an extra car that they could lend to me so that I could get to work in high school. Most of my high school classmates who did hold jobs poured most of the money they earned into their cars.

[wordsmith]

I really don't see anything wrong with not getting a formal job until after high school graduation. I didn't.

My parents didn't have an extra car that they could lend to me so that I could get to work in high school. Most of my high school classmates who did hold jobs poured most of the money they earned into their cars.

This was an issue for me. Apart from my dad's work truck, we had A family car. So I couldn't really be tying it up, and I lived out in the country, so I would have needed transportation into town to work. For all my extracurriculars, I carpooled with people involved, but that wouldn't have worked the same for a job.

When I have kids, I am not going to be on their case to get a job until after high school graduation.

Yeah, mine weren't on my case to (except in the summer, when I was expected to, and not just laze around all summer). Def. of the "being a student is your job" mindset.

[weary]

I really don't see anything wrong with not getting a formal job until after high school graduation. I didn't.

I graduated from high school when I was still seventeen and I got my first formal job two weeks later, right before I turned eighteen. (I baby-sat in high school.) It hasn't stunted my work ethic that much -I worked all through college and afterward.

My parents didn't have an extra car that they could lend to me so that I could get to work in high school. Most of my high school classmates who did hold jobs poured most of the money they earned into their cars.

When I have kids, I am not going to be on their case to get a job until after high school graduation.

yes, but you worked in college, which was more my point. the kids i went to HS w/ didn't work in HS or college. i think by college one should at least work (paid or not) in the summer or PT before graduating.

[WorkInProgress]

Yeah, mine weren't on my case to (except in the summer, when I was expected to, and not just laze around all summer). Def. of the "being a student is your job" mindset.

This is exactly how my parents were. There were very, very against the idea of me getting a job during the school year, especially in HS.

[WorkInProgress]

yes, but you worked in college, which was more my point. the kids i went to HS w/ didn't work in HS or college. i think by college one should at least work (paid or not) in the summer or PT before graduating.

I agree. I mean, there are sometimes great reasons why not (other fantastic opportunities, like some summer study abroad programs, etc.), but as a general rule, I think this is about right.

[weary]

This is exactly how my parents were. There were very, very against the idea of me getting a job during the school year, especially in HS.

i only have a prob w/ it if it interferes w/ school work or other enriching opportunities that won't be around after school-age. and if the the grades suffer, it'll the first thing to go. but 2 days a week, one which is a weekend day doesn't seem all that bad to me (and that is in my parameters).

of course, all this may change when/if he does actually get a job...:0

[WorkInProgress]

i only have a prob w/ it if it interferes w/ school work or other enriching opportunities that won't be around after school-age. and if the the grades suffer, it'll the first thing to go. but 2 days a week, one which is a weekend day doesn't seem all that bad to me (and that is in my parameters).

of course, all this may change when/if he does actually get a job...:0

I think that's reasonable.

We were pretty busy on weekends anyway, as a family, without the parents having to deal with driving one/both of us to and from work. I think it was mostly logistical, and the thought was that school would suffer. I had a couple friends who worked (and, for the record, their grades did suffer, but they weren't stellar students anyway so I'm not sure the job was the actual problem), but most didn't.

EDIT: Some kids have no problems with it. Others do. I think it's probably best to go on a case-by-case basis.

[wordsmith]

I think that's reasonable.

We were pretty busy on weekends anyway, as a family, without the parents having to deal with driving one/both of us to and from work. I think it was mostly logistical, and the thought was that school would suffer. I had a couple friends who worked (and, for the record, their grades did suffer, but they weren't stellar students anyway so I'm not sure the job was the actual problem), but most didn't.

EDIT: Some kids have no problems with it. Others do. I think it's probably best to go on a case-by-case basis.

It was HUGELY logistical for my family, with four kids in every sport and fine arts endeavor under the sun. That stuff was seen as more crucial to our development, I guess, than a min. wage job, if push came to shove, and I can see that. However, it was also noted that if we wanted $$$, we would work, however we wanted to work that out.

[EmberMae]

I think I learned a lot by working pt in high school & I would want my kids to have the same experience. I was determined to work to have freedom from my parents. Starting when i was 15, i worked 15-20 hours a week during the school year, FT during the summer. I made straight As in all AP classes. Granted, my senior year class schedule was pretty darn easy and I had the last period off. But...I had friends and I did stuff on the weekends. I goofed around on the internet. I read books for pleasure. I watched a lot of TV. It's funny because in retrospective, I don't know how I did it. But...I never felt all that pressed for time. And now I'm only working 40 hours per week...plus my lunches, plus my commute, but it feels like I'm hardly ever home and I have very little time on weeknights. Oh but I also needed less sleep when I was a teenager. So, that helps. I worked PT in college also, except for my 1st and last semesters, but I found it much more challenging to find a balance in college.

[wordsmith]

Were you in any extracurricular activities that took place outside school hours, out of curiosity? Because everyone in my family was, and that took up really all the spare time one would have for work.

Between my siblings and I, we were in baseball, basketball, football, track, marching band, concert band, school choir, church choir, color guard, school plays, school musicals, Spanish Club, Environmental Club, newspaper, student council, literary magazine, yearbook, and dance line, and all of these were activities that held meetings, rehearsals, practices, games, and events outside school hours, in afternoons, evenings, and often on weekends.

By the time I was in high school, I watched pretty much no TV, because I wouldn't get home from my afterschool activities until often after 9 p.m., and had homework and projects and papers to work on, usually till about midnight. I don't know when I would have worked. Literally, my only unscheduled time was between midnight and 6 a.m.

[paiger81]

I think I learned a lot by working pt in high school & I would want my kids to have the same experience. I was determined to work to have freedom from my parents. Starting when i was 15, i worked 15-20 hours a week during the school year, FT during the summer. I made straight As in all AP classes. Granted, my senior year class schedule was pretty darn easy and I had the last period off. But...I had friends and I did stuff on the weekends. I goofed around on the internet. I read books for pleasure. I watched a lot of TV. It's funny because in retrospective, I don't know how I did it. But...I never felt all that pressed for time. And now I'm only working 40 hours per week...plus my lunches, plus my commute, but it feels like I'm hardly ever home and I have very little time on weeknights. Oh but I also needed less sleep when I was a teenager. So, that helps. I worked PT in college also, except for my 1st and last semesters, but I found it much more challenging to find a balance in college.

This was me, too. As for extra activities, I did a bunch of UIL events (DRAMA & CHOIR).

[Kitty]

What about summer jobs though? I just think its weird when someone is 21 and never had ANY type of job, ever.

[EmberMae]

Were you in any extracurricular activities that took place outside school hours, out of curiosity? Because everyone in my family was, and that took up really all the spare time one would have for work.

Between my siblings and I, we were in baseball, basketball, football, track, marching band, concert band, school choir, church choir, color guard, school plays, school musicals, Spanish Club, Environmental Club, newspaper, student council, literary magazine, yearbook, and dance line, and all of these were activities that held meetings, rehearsals, practices, games, and events outside school hours, in afternoons, evenings, and often on weekends.

By the time I was in high school, I watched pretty much no TV, because I wouldn't get home from my afterschool activities until often after 9 p.m., and had homework and projects and papers to work on, usually till about midnight. I don't know when I would have worked. Literally, my only unscheduled time was between midnight and 6 a.m.
I was in Academic Decathlon senior year & PSAT team junior year. I was also in NHS and Spanish NHS, Mu Alpha Theta (math club) and I did 2 hours of volunteer work every week but...yeah it wasn't nearly the commitment as say sports and band. I have to say, band students were the hardest working at our school, they got there early almost every day and had practice for 2 hours after school every day. I can understand people like that not being able to work. I'm just skeptical about the idea the high school students shouldn't work soley because of school. High school is not that difficult. I think they are better off working than spending all night on myspace, aim, television etc. or getting drunk and causing trouble. It builds character and shows the value of education.

[Bocheezu]

I'm just skeptical about the idea the high school students shouldn't work soley because of school. High school is not that difficult. I think they are better off working than spending all night on myspace, aim, television etc. or getting drunk and causing trouble. It builds character and shows the value of education.

High school can be tough for some people. Depends on the kid and what kind of school they're going to. I went to a public high school and it was a joke, but some of those private schools are almost like college.

Looking back, I really think I worked too much, and never stood up for myself and told my manager at the store that I wanted less hours. Plus, I closed every Friday and Saturday night because I was one of the few dependable people in the place. So my social life suffered.

I think kids in HS should have a job (if cars aren't an issue), but certainly less than 20 hours a week, even if they turn 18 before graduating. I turned 18 in fall of my senior year and started working 40 hours a week on top of going to school, and everything was sort of a blur.

[PVD99]

I had no time to work in high school. (during the weekdays, at least) I was in school from 7:30am to 230pm and then did sports every day from 3 to 6. There had to be time every night for homework, too.

[wordsmith]

High school is not that difficult. I think they are better off working than spending all night on myspace, aim, television etc. or getting drunk and causing trouble. It builds character and shows the value of education.

I would agree. I spent FAR more time on my music and theatre than I did on academics, with the exception of having to keep on top of it to stay caught up on reading (accelerated English classes, so we went through more books and faster, but it was good prep for being a college English major...not difficult, but time consuming). But I whipped through most busywork homework, if memory serves. If I'd not been in the activities I was in, and only had schoolwork to occupy me, I'd have had tons upon tons more idle time.

I was in high school from 1991-1995, so myspace and AIM weren't considerations (or anything relating to the internet at home), and I had no more time for TV and drinking/partying around my extracurriculars than I had for work.

[ironekilz]

I can't think of anyone I know personally who has never worked, although I can think of one who currently doesn't. She went to work straight out of high school working 40 hour+ weeks then went back to community college to get a couple degrees, working at the same time. She was doing really well, but then she quit work to "focus on school" (despite having only one or two classes that didn't give her much work to do outside of class), got a boyfriend, graduated, and hasn't worked since though she has a constant stream of opportunities waved in her face. Now she has to have him give her an allowance and frequently doesn't carry around any cash at all because she's nearly broke having almost completely wiped out her savings in the time she wasn't working. They're engaged now, but if he gets cold feet, she's screwed. I'm so disappointed in her because she's very artistically talented and she's wasting it.

As for working during high school, except for when I was doing a couple stints of volunteer work, I didn't work during high school. My first job was a week or so after I graduated when I was 18 and that was at a store in the mall. My parents didn't really want me to work during high school and personally I don't think it impacted me negatively. Sure I hung out with friends some, watched tv, read, played video games etc. in my spare time, but I also helped out around the house, which I get the impression is a concept that's going the way of the dodo (please somebody tell me I'm wrong on that!).

Reading back through the posts and hearing about these people who have never worked and have their parents pay for everything, I think right now we're in an age of entitlement and confusion. You have parents who are so afraid their kids will fail that they never allow them to do anything for themselves. At the same time, there seems to be less emphasis in school on practical applications for degrees. You're told to go to college and get those degrees, but then what? Graduates mill around aimlessly, unsure of what to do or in some cases, unwilling to do anything.

[veniqe]

No, I've never met someone like that. I'm always between jobs or on my way to a disciplinary inquiry but at least I work! *Evil laugh*

[ebolaRETURNS]

>>After a while, I got a job working 7am-4pm at some random warehouse. I did that for 6 months before finally realizing that I didn't want to work "down at the plant" for the rest of my life. Time to go back to school!!!

I definately have an aversion to working shitty jobs.>>

Who does want this though?

ebola

[mahlerssecond]

I have a friend for various reasons is unemployed most of the time. He has held menial jobs over the years, but always ends up quitting them. He got his BA about a year and a half ago, and still doesn't have a job. He suffers from Asperger Syndrome and Depression and gets a monthly SSI check because of this. His parents are somewhat well to do and still give him an allowance every week.:rolleyes:
He does look for jobs on occasion, and when he does it is usually something way out of his skill and experience levels. He has been told how bright that he is, and feels that he is too "bright" to do menial jobs. I just wonder how this person is going to survive once Mommy and Daddy are dead and gone.:question:

[wordsmith]

Many people with disabilities face this dilemma, especially if they are not disabled "enough" to be eligible for group home residency. My mom works in the school system, helping kids with developmental disabilities in academics and life skills, so that they can function at least on some sort of level once they are out in the world. We actually have a very good public school program for that.

I have a very bright young lady with a developmental disability who is coming in and working with us one day a week through this experiential job program, to help her get accustomed to the working world, because she's 21 and this is the last year she can stay in school...she'll be out in the workforce after this year.

[mahlerssecond]

One of the dilemas this person faces is losing his Medicaid benefits if he gets a job. The jobs unfortunately that are obtainable by him mostly have shitty benefits or no benefits. I think that a lot of disabled folks fall in this category.

[wordsmith]

Absolutely. The gap between making juuust too much for public benefits and making too little to afford them on one's own when they are not provided is a pretty nasty thing.

[Adam Strange]

Some tidbits to add:

My ex, 23, has never worked. Since she graduated high school she’s had depression and/or chemical dependency problems. She did two classes for one semester at a local college, flunking one. She’s depended on parents, boyfriends, disability, hospitals and treatment facilities for all of her needs. The way she demands money from her mom is totally sickening. Can she work? She can do better than she is.

My brother, 22, has never had a fulltime job. He sold bootlegged concert CDs over the internet throughout high school and his brief time in college. He’s had part-time jobs delivering pizzas and telemarketing. He now works for my dad who is self-employed.

I think in both cases it makes getting a job harder. How can you explain the lack of history?

I loved my part-time job in high school. I washed dishes at an inn. I met kids who weren’t rich or stuck up and had a decent sense of humor. Unlike my teachers, my boss and other supervisors rewarded hard work without any condescendence or expectations that I change my attitude. I felt good earning my pay. It was everything high school wasn’t: simple, rewarding and authentic.

I’m not going to knock a schedule of extracurricular activities. Except for archery club, the short life of which Columbine ended, I didn’t do any. But high school is this little enclosed world—with its own norms, class structure and reward/punishment system—and I don’t think it’d be good to spend age 4 to 18 completely inside that enclosed world, either loving or hating it.

[mahlerssecond]

What bothers me about my friend is not so much the fact he doesn't work, but the fact he takes little or no responsibility. His parents don't make him mow the lawn, shovel the sidewalk, run errands etc. If a person isn't working and living under their parents roof, they should at least take these responsibilites.
His younger brother was even worse. This kid also took no resposibility. He was into substance abuse that cost him his life last year. Basically his life consisted of using and hanging with friends.:rolleyes:

[beeyawnka]

My half sister just got her first "real" job this past summer... and it's a fashion internship in NYC that she does ten hours a week at. She is 24 and her dad is still paying her EXPENSIVE Manhattan rent... needless to say, she's spoiled, but she'll pay for it in the long run when no one will hire her because of her major lack of work ethic.

[winneythepooh7]

Granted this is not my area of expertise, however, I do know NYS at least has a program called VESID which helps people with disabilities find and maintain gainful employment. Not just McJobs either. It's through the state education dept. and I recommend anyone in this type of situation looking into it for their state/area.

[mahlerssecond]

Iowa has a Department of Vocational Rehabilitation to help disabled folks find jobs. Goodwill in our area also does this. There are also a few local agencies.

I have talked to politicians for years about changing the income threshold so more folks on Medicaid and SSI Disability can work and be productive citizens. At the very least, I would like to see them keep their Medicaid.

[bluespoon]

Reading back through the posts and hearing about these people who have never worked and have their parents pay for everything, I think right now we're in an age of entitlement and confusion. You have parents who are so afraid their kids will fail that they never allow them to do anything for themselves. At the same time, there seems to be less emphasis in school on practical applications for degrees. You're told to go to college and get those degrees, but then what? Graduates mill around aimlessly, unsure of what to do or in some cases, unwilling to do anything.

exaaaaaaactly. ever since i graduated college last year ive been 'milling around aimlessly'.

I recently read a newspaper article about how theres a rising number of college graduates who are going back to get vocational certificates just so they can get into a specific job field right away. Not a bad idea! I don't regret one thing about my college experience or degree choice because I wanted to study something I was passionate about (creative writing). BUT I do regret not trying to get more work experience. But hey, we're in our 20s and with some summer jobs under our belt or not, theres still plenty of time to rack up experience and learn.

[wordsmith]

Not everyone "mills around aimlessly," but if you're surrounded by people who do, I'm sure it can color your perspective. I personally know very few people who "mill around aimlessly." Most people I know don't have that luxury.

[playingbyheart]

my bf doesn't work. given, he held a job before he went to college, but he hasn't worked since he graduated. he lives at home, has some savings from his parents, and doesn't spend much money. i dislike working but i think i'd also go crazy if i didn't have a job.

[MsClear]

If I had unlimited funds, I doubt that I would work. I like my job and I worked from high school right through college and beyond. However, there are other things to do in this short life than work and I wouldn't mind having that sort of chance, to live a life of complete financial ease. I don't think I would be bored at all.

I'm not exactly weeping in my beer over how it will never happen, but I definitely don't NEED to work to be happy.

[Kitty]

Weirdbrake?

[Lizanne440]

I know some people that try to get financial assistance from the government. They receive disability checks for slight injuries when they are fully capable of working. This bugs me. Other kids I grew up with in this neighborhood steal from stores and then return merchandise to get the money. Or they "borrow" money from their parents and go gambling. Needless to say, they are still living at home. And yes, these kids are in their mid-twenties. I work 3 part-time jobs and go to school, still live at home because I'm saving money for the future. Recently, I noticed a strong correlation between school and work motivation. All of my friends that have gone to school or are in school have sustained stable employment over the years. Those who have dropped out or have never enrolled are a lot more likely to be unemployed. That's no surprise, though. Just something I've been thinking about lately.

[winneythepooh7]

I know some people that try to get financial assistance from the government. They receive disability checks for slight injuries when they are fully capable of working. This bugs me. Other kids I grew up with in this neighborhood steal from stores and then return merchandise to get the money. Or they "borrow" money from their parents and go gambling. Needless to say, they are still living at home. And yes, these kids are in their mid-twenties. I work 3 part-time jobs and go to school, still live at home because I'm saving money for the future. Recently, I noticed a strong correlation between school and work motivation. All of my friends that have gone to school or are in school have sustained stable employment over the years. Those who have dropped out or have never enrolled are a lot more likely to be unemployed. That's no surprise, though. Just something I've been thinking about lately.

What is your definition of a "slight injury" though and who are you to make that kind of judgement? I'm not trying to get an argument with you, however, I am a social worker and work with people with disabilities who often present well, that they SHOULD be able to work, however, there is a lot more going on that is keeping them from doing so that is not always immediately evident to a random person around them.

Also, let's face it, there's not a whole lot out there in terms of gainful employment for many people with disabilities. Most of those jobs don't offer health insurance, which they need for their treatment. And let's face it, even if you are on SSI, it's not like you are raking in the dough from the government. Most of my clients get a check for no more than $710 a month to cover their rent and everything else in NEW YORK CITY!!

[Lizanne440]

I agree, my clients on SSI do not receive much money either. The employee who I was referring to apparently has a "rotator cuff" injury. While she is limited in what she lifts, carries and pulls, she is perfectly capable of sitting on a couch and talking to someone. We work in counseling and our job is sedentary. That's why I think it's unfair that she is trying to collect disability checks when she is perfectly capable of working.

[redav]

What is your definition of a "slight injury" though and who are you to make that kind of judgement? I'm not trying to get an argument with you, however, I am a social worker and work with people with disabilities who often present well, that they SHOULD be able to work, however, there is a lot more going on that is keeping them from doing so that is not always immediately evident to a random person around them.
Let me get this straight--
- You have a better ability to determine whether or not a person that someone else knows is capable of doing a job that you know nothing about.
- You doubt a person's ability to evaluate the extent of an injury that they are familiar with an you are not.
- You assume that the person is ignorant of the details of the issue, but instead of expressing that as a possibility, you instead state is as fact.
- You project the conditions of NY onto other situations.

How PC.

Let's face it. A lot of people don't want to work, and will avoid it if given the opportunity. While programs help many who genuinely need it (and thus it would be unwise to stop the programs), there are many who abuse it. (My paper recently noted one case where someone had bilked the govt out of so much, with SS + free school lunches/breakfasts + free/discounted medical care + food stamps + etc, that they had saved enough to buy a house with CASH.) Discrediting the accounts of those who abuse the system promotes more abuse which will eventually cause a backlash against those who do need it.

[winneythepooh7]

Let me get this straight--
- You have a better ability to determine whether or not a person that someone else knows is capable of doing a job that you know nothing about.
- You doubt a person's ability to evaluate the extent of an injury that they are familiar with an you are not.
- You assume that the person is ignorant of the details of the issue, but instead of expressing that as a possibility, you instead state is as fact.
- You project the conditions of NY onto other situations.

How PC.

Let's face it. A lot of people don't want to work, and will avoid it if given the opportunity. While programs help many who genuinely need it (and thus it would be unwise to stop the programs), there are many who abuse it. (My paper recently noted one case where someone had bilked the govt out of so much, with SS + free school lunches/breakfasts + free/discounted medical care + food stamps + etc, that they had saved enough to buy a house with CASH.) Discrediting the accounts of those who abuse the system promotes more abuse which will eventually cause a backlash against those who do need it.

My bad. Redav the expert on the social welfare system. :rolleyes: I guess I was wrong since I have only been doing this every day for the past 10 years.:rolleyes: :rolleyes: I also find it fascinating that with all my experience, working with HUNDREDS of clients, I've never run into anyone described from the article "you read".

[AshleyJordan]

Of course there are people who abuse the welfare system-- just like there are CEO's who regularly steal from their employees and shareholders. There are people everywhere, in every part of society, who take advantage of the system. It doesn't make sense to isolate ppl on govt. assistance when, relative to money spent on wars or corporate kickbacks, we're talking about pennies to the dollar!
After welfare reform (what, 11 years ago,) it's become very, very difficult to cheat the system, anyways.

[winneythepooh7]

There are also ways that you can still be on the system but be a homeowner. And the system knows this and tracks all of your funds. You just basically have to give all your income back to Medicaid to pay for your services. I do have clients in this situation, but they are certainly not rolling in it, or taking advantage of anything. In fact, their funds are protected in a trust and that money is allocated to them for certain things to at least give them a somewhat better day to day living situation. I see nothing wrong with that. Especially with everything they've been through. I would imagine if some of us were in that kind of situation, we'd want the same things.

[winneythepooh7]

After welfare reform (what, 11 years ago,) it's become very, very difficult to cheat the system, anyways.

Agreed. As all of my clients who can speak for themselves say, they much rather would like to work then have to deal with the system, lack of quality medical care, and constantly having to go to Medicaid to "prove they are disabled" on what seems like a monthly basis. But again, I'm talking out of my ass :rolleyes: .

[ScottyTheBody]

Let me get this straight--
- You have a better ability to determine whether or not a person that someone else knows is capable of doing a job that you know nothing about.
- You doubt a person's ability to evaluate the extent of an injury that they are familiar with an you are not.
- You assume that the person is ignorant of the details of the issue, but instead of expressing that as a possibility, you instead state is as fact.
- You project the conditions of NY onto other situations.


I don't see her stating it as a fact. Maybe I misread it but from that post it seemed that all she said was that what appears to be a "slight injury" MAY not be a slight injury at all. From the post it appeared that she didn't take any side on the "should/should not" work but rather said there may be something else going on.

[winneythepooh7]

I don't see her stating it as a fact. Maybe I misread it but from that post it seemed that all she said was that what appears to be a "slight injury" MAY not be a slight injury at all. From the post it appeared that she didn't take any side on the "should/should not" work but rather said there may be something else going on.

Exactly. And honestly, I do consider myself an expert in my field because I've been doing it like I pointed out, for 10 years. It has nothing to do with being "PC". I shouldn't have to justify myself to Redav or anyone else, but I am stating the facts from what I see personally from my work. And whether someone lives in NY or any other state, the problems, conditions, disabilties, social issues, etc. are all pretty much the same. The resources available, or access/process in receiving them however might be slightly different. I just love how people who don't face these issues try to talk against people who do. Also, if someone chooses not to work, I would also think it is kinda pretty much common sense that there are other issues going on that are contributing to that, unless they are rich or lead a pretty comfortable lifestyle to begin with, so the option to not work is much more realistic.

[nikorock28]

If these people qualify for these monthly payments, food stamps, medical care, more power to them. If one could obtain these assistances and they didn't, that really would not be wise. There is a down payment assistance program in the state of AZ and I will be sure to take advantage of that when I purchase a home. Also, if someone could truly work and they decide to just "cheat the system" and get the freebies, do you really envy that person? It doesn't seem like much personal satisfaction or integrity would be derived from living your life that way.

[winneythepooh7]

If these people qualify for these monthly payments, food stamps, medical care, more power to them. If one could obtain these assistances and they didn't, that really would not be wise. There is a down payment assistance program in the state of AZ and I will be sure to take advantage of that when I purchase a home. Also, if someone could truly work and they decide to just "cheat the system" and get the freebies, do you really envy that person? It doesn't seem like much personal satisfaction or integrity would be derived from living your life that way.

I agree. I have some realitives who have similar medical issues like the rotator-cuff thing, and trust me, I think there's a lot more going on with them mentally/socially that is preventing them from working, not just their medical issue. And like you said Niko, I really don't envy them or want to be in their shoes. It's kinda like the "grass is greener" thing going on when this argument comes up.

[AshleyJordan]

If these people qualify for these monthly payments, food stamps, medical care, more power to them. If one could obtain these assistances and they didn't, that really would not be wise. There is a down payment assistance program in the state of AZ and I will be sure to take advantage of that when I purchase a home. Also, if someone could truly work and they decide to just "cheat the system" and get the freebies, do you really envy that person? It doesn't seem like much personal satisfaction or integrity would be derived from living your life that way.

LOL. I qualify for downpayment assistance and I make more than the average family in NYC! And, yes, you'd better believe I'm going to take advantage of that grant if I still qualify when I decide to buy. I'd be an idiot not to!

[winneythepooh7]

LOL. I qualify for downpayment assistance and I make more than the average family in NYC! And, yes, you'd better believe I'm going to take advantage of that grant if I still qualify when I decide to buy. I'd be an idiot not to!

Where do you find out if you qualify for this kinda thing?

[mahlerssecond]

The neighbors across the street from us have a 25 year old son that lives with them. He doesn't go to school, doesn't work. He has got the dubious monkier from my folks of "Lazy Fucker." Hell, he wouldn't even come out of the house to dig his gf's and his car out of a snowbank or even say thank you for doing it. Another neighbor and I did it for them. All this kid does is play sports and video games, parties and dink around with his girlfriend (who happens to live with him and his folks). This kid is more than capable of doing some type of work. Must be the life.
His folks are also a work of art, but that is another story.

[mahlerssecond]

I forgot to mention that these neighbors of mine have a contract with a Lawn Care and Snow Removal company. When you have a 25 year old able bodied son living at home this is the least that he could do for his folks. Save the hundreds of dollars a year.

[winneythepooh7]

I forgot to mention that these neighbors of mine have a contract with a Lawn Care and Snow Removal company. When you have a 25 year old able bodied son living at home this is the least that he could do for his folks. Save the hundreds of dollars a year.


I see your point about your neighbor, however in general, it's pretty common (at least where I live) for people to have landscapers and snow removal companies. Most people on my block do. (We don't as this is a large part of what my husband does for a living). I know many people who do though and it can be as cheap as $25.00 per week. Just sayin'.

[Bocheezu]

I see your point about your neighbor, however in general, it's pretty common (at least where I live) for people to have landscapers and snow removal companies. Most people on my block do. (We don't as this is a large part of what my husband does for a living). I know many people who do though and it can be as cheap as $25.00 per week. Just sayin'.

When they have a male over the age of 10 living in their house, though? It used to be a condition for me being able to live at home.

[wordsmith]

Yeah, nobody pays for that stuff in the rural midwest. It's definitely a sign of more affluence.

[callyna81]

I used to work as a counsellor for long-term unemployed people, so I've met a lot of people who have worked or barely worked well in to their twenties.

The statistics of people that really don't WANT to work are pretty low as a GENERAL group. I worked in five different locations, from 3rd most socially disadvantaged labor market in the country to inner-city affluence. Generally, most of the "outskirts" types had all sorts of problems - injuries, mental illness, dom. violence etc -in combination, or a history of familial unemployment where they just didn't "get" the point of work. Inner city was a lot more blatant ripping off the welfare system, though, and generally consisted of 40 - 60 year olds who were attempting to use unemployment benefits as an early retirement. Social security fraud got reported a lot there.

[erika36]

I can't say I know somebody who has never worked. I know a lot of people who are lazy/won't work. People like that seem to be a dime a dozen.

[crystal_dance]

My former roommate is a waste of an existence. He's super super rich and essentially has it made. Dropped out of college, he "works" for his dad's advertising business. His schedule is something like this - Smokes pot every evening then heads out to party every night till 5 AM, comes home and sleeps till noon and rolls into work round 1 PM and leaves by 5 PM to come home and smoke pot.Repeat. Oh he also "works" from Mon-Thurs because he like his 3 day weekends. He also gets unlimited "vacation days" and has a bunch of other super rich loser friends who would come over to MY apartment to smoke pot and be annoying losers.

[FishOutOfWater]

I have a friend from high school who didn't have a job until she was 23 or so. She was honestly afraid to find a job, so during her 5 years of undergrad she took classes every summer as an excuse to avoid finding a job or internship. (her degree took 5 years because she transferred 2 years into it.) With no work experience of any kind and a degree in English lit, she found it impossible to find any kind of job. Several months later she finally got hired as a part-time cashier at a wine store and a part-time standardized test grader, jobs she's still stuck at now. The whole thing is a cautionary tale: it's important to have some kind of work, internship, or even volunteer experience in high school and/or college, or employers have no proof you're dependable and able to work and are less apt to hire you.

[Restless&Lost]

One family friend is 25 and he's been on someone's payroll for all of 8 weeks in his entire life. And that was when he was 16, working a summer job at a clothing store. Of course, he bitched about that every single day he was there until school started and he stopped showing up.

Pretty sure he only bothered with that job because I started working and his mom pressured him to.

Now he lives with his mom, who pays all of his expenses while he continues to not earn the BA he started in 2001. How one goes to school full time for almost 8 years and still doesn't graduate is completely beyond me. Hell, you'd think he would've earned one by accident two years ago. And there's no extenuating circumstances stopping him -- I just think he's afraid to finish because he's so poorly equipped to take care of himself.

[NewMrs.]

Now he lives with his mom, who pays all of his expenses while he continues to not earn the BA he started in 2001. How one goes to school full time for almost 8 years and still doesn't graduate is completely beyond me. Hell, you'd think he would've earned one by accident two years ago. And there's no extenuating circumstances stopping him -- I just think he's afraid to finish because he's so poorly equipped to take care of himself.


LOL. I know somebody who might be on the same educational track. She has been going to college full-time since the fall of 2003, has even taken summer classes, and she is still not finished with her BA. She thinks that she will graduate this December, but I'm not willing to put any money on this yet. The thing that gets me is, she gets tuition remission because her dad is a professor at her college.

She is now talking about marrying her boyfriend, who doesn't have a full-time job even though he's almost 40. She recently said something to the effect that she will not worry about being able to afford to have kids because "whatever happens, happens." She then went on to say that if she can't afford to educate her kids, then they will just have to work really hard and put themselves through school. You know, like she is doing.

[Bocheezu]

I have a friend that's sort of a professional student. She went to school, majored in education, minored in French, and she was planning to teach high school. She worked as a sub for like a month and completely bailed on that idea, and had no backup plan at all. So she went back to school. And is still at school at 31 now. I think she's getting a PhD in French linguistics or some oddball degree.

It's just strange, she always had what I considered rich tastes, because she always liked guys that wore fancy clothes, even if they had no personality at all, and she has this fascination with BMWs. She was very naive in undergrad when it came to understanding how much that stuff costs. I wouldn't say she's lazy, she just doesn't have any concept of how to make money.

[stephly21]

I agree with some people on this thread when they say they would be bored without a job. I did nothing on Sunday. The only time I got out of the house was to take the dog for a walk and get icecream with my SO. I sat around, watched TV, read a book, watched a movie, took a nap. I hated it. It was the most boring day of my life. I like to lay around a bit on the weekends, for about 2 hours. then I am ready to do something! I couldn't imagine not working. As much as I hate waking up on Monday mornings I love having a job and feeling like I am contributing to society.

[mlle]

I have a friend from high school who didn't have a job until she was 23 or so. She was honestly afraid to find a job, so during her 5 years of undergrad she took classes every summer as an excuse to avoid finding a job or internship. (her degree took 5 years because she transferred 2 years into it.) With no work experience of any kind and a degree in English lit, she found it impossible to find any kind of job. Several months later she finally got hired as a part-time cashier at a wine store and a part-time standardized test grader, jobs she's still stuck at now. The whole thing is a cautionary tale: it's important to have some kind of work, internship, or even volunteer experience in high school and/or college, or employers have no proof you're dependable and able to work and are less apt to hire you.

WOW, that's sadly similar to my pathetic story. The cautionary tale is ever so true and stings bitterly. I didn't have my first job until I was 21. I wasn't afraid of getting a job, I would apply to little pt jobs throughout high school and college but never got hired, anywhere, and so I took summer classes to keep occupied. I ended up finishing college in 3 yrs bc of the summer classes (not 5, like your friend), and then I graduated right before my 21st birthday and went through the big shock of trying to get hired somewhere with NO EXPERIENCE whatsoever. It was 9 months before I started an entry level data chunking job, and I was also stuck at that job. Grad school seemed to be my only way out, I didn't know what else to do. The time between college and grad school was the worst period of my life because of delayed employment woes.

I'm also a trust fund baby, I will confess, and I can attest that being a princess has backfired when it comes to getting work experience and finding a job. My parents were typically antagonistic toward my sister and me finding part-time jobs at stores and stuff when we were teenagers and in college--"you don't need to worry about money or those stupid odd jobs, just focus on school." When I got a in-the-meantime job at a supermarket during my period of unemployment right after college, my parents were horrified and contemptuous. They said you have a college degree, so why are you wasting your time at a supermarket? UMMM, BECAUSE NO ONE WILL HIRE ME BECAUSE I'VE NEVER WORKED, EVER. They just don't understand that it's not about the degree, it's about acquired skills of any kind. They also made a stink that I should quit my job and not work part time when I started grad school. It's gotten to the point where I've decided to completely cut my parents off from any discussion re: jobs or school or careers because they're completely out-of-touch and unsupportive trust fund parents.

[wordsmith]

My parents were opposed to my working in during the school year in high school, but supported summer work. Summer work was mandatory when I was a college student, because I used the money to live off of during the school year. I didn't have an off-campus job while I was a college student, mainly because I had my hands plenty full with my work-study hours and practicum hours on top of my academics and music.

[erika36]

I went to a two-year college, so before I started, I'd had a part-time job and saved money to live on in college. I also lived at home so I guess you could say I had little expenses to worry about, and I could focus solely on my education. I also lived as cheaply as I could and somehow it worked.

[evy031]

I would be bored out of my mind if I didn't work.

I have never been more bored than I am at my job... even when unemployed. HOWEVER, I do agree that 99% of jobs provide you with more mental stimulation than sitting on your ass.

[roulettefanatic]

i've worked more than a few jobs (mostly part-time until now with this full-time job after college) and i complained about all of them, lol, since it was during the summer and of course i only wanted to go to the beach and hang around the house but alas, there were books to pay for in the fall and train money and all of that and my parents wouldn't let me sit home and do nothing (they wanted me to learn the value of a dollar on my own).....but i do have a couple of relatives (one in their 20s and one about 18) who don't work during the summers and it makes no sense since first of all, aren't they bored? and second of all, do their parents pay their leisure bills? (like to go to the movies and out on dates?).....i have no idea since it's none of my business but i wonder sometimes.....i'm glad i worked those crappy jobs, come to think of it, since i had my own debit card and was "independent" to some extent even though i was still in school.....i don't know anyone in my family who is finished with school who doesn't work with the exception of a distant cousin's wife who made it her goal to not work since she wanted to be "taken care of" despite the fact that her husband doesn't make enough money to support them and their three children....she didn't even go to school if i remember correctly.....but i never see them and who knows, i just wish them the best i guess.....

[artemis83]

^How is that not embarrassing for him, though? You know? I'd feel weird being supported by my parents at 27. I'm sorry but a 27 year old male should be way beyond self-sufficient. I think that's borderline unattractive.

sorry but you have to look at culture too. There are many people who could still be working and living at home and it's not deemed as unacceptable.

As for me, I worked for the family business during high school, and I didn't work during university, only did summer jobs at banks and day camps, which helped pay for my schoolbooks (My college trust fund covered my undergrad education), but it was very hard to find a job after grad, and I was accused of being lazy though I was really trying to find a job. I did NOT want to be segregated at a retail job after working my ass off for that degree, so I was jobless for 8 months, occasionally tutoring family friend's children in math and english and sometimes helping with the family business until I found a job in my own area.

I work now and I really think women should be self sufficient and not rely on any man to cover her finances, cause if you split up tomorrow, you and your children are screwed. It's so important to have an education and work background these days.

Back to the question though. I know one girl who studied with me and she's a year older than me. She graduated last year cause she stayed an extra year while I managed to finish in 4 years thanks to taking courses in spring and summer; but she has never worked. As far as I know, she volunteered at different places, including a video store and right now she's volunteering at a hospital and not really applying for jobs though I encouraged her to do it and offered her a room at my place if she wants to apply for anything in my area. She just told me that she got a second interview for another voluntary position at the hospital that's directly related to the area she wants to specialize in so I'm happy for her, but at the same time, I'm wondering why her family isn't encouraging her to find work if they aren't already. My parents were begging me to find work though I already was and I pay for most things on my own now and even help out with the bills here and there and it's a huge load off their shoulders that they don't have to pay for me even though I'm still living at home.

[Canadian22]

I know a guy who is 24, worked for about a year,got layed off and went on unemployment. He lived off that for a couple months while living on his own and racking up a huge amount of debt. He know lives with his parents and hasnt had a job in 3 years. He doesn't go to school either, he basically just sits around and does nothing while his parents pay off his debt and give him money to go out and party. I blame his parents as well as him. There is no way my 24 year old son would be living off my money with no job, no education, and no plans of doing either!

[happyday]

Unfortunately, I know a family friend who has never worked a "real job" in her life. She's held a few part-time jobs but none have lasted more than a year. Her current "job" is to babysit her 3 nieces and for that, she gets room and board with her sister and her sister's husband and kids. So she's kind of like a stay at home mom, only she's not the mother of the girls.

She didn't graduate from HS and I don't know if she ever earned her GED. She's always really struggled with her weight and I think that is what really holds her back from bettering her situation. It's sad really because she doesn't have a lot to show for her life. I feel bad for her more than envy her, but she doesn't do anything to improve herself.

[happyday]

Oh, I also forgot to mention my husband's cousin has a girlfriend who is a student majoring in education, with a specialty in special needs. To my knowledge, she's never had a full-time job. According to my SIL, who also majored in education, this is a route teachers who don't really want a difficult job take, but I won't comment because I'm not a teacher. ;):

A few months ago, we find out, oops, she's pregnant. Neither of them have a college degree, even though he's been in college since 2002. Most of the family is pretty certain she will not finish her degree now. And to top it off, I have to buy them a present for the baby shower. I guess I'm happy that at least she's keeping it.. but come on, ever hear of birth control? My MIL are pretty convinced she got pregnant on purpose to trap the guy into this on-and-off relationship. Nice. The two of them and the baby will be living at her parents' house after the kid is born. They also will not be getting married until she graduates (if she graduates) because her college offers free day care to single mothers. :rolleyes:

[psalm23]

Well, i know a few people. I just met this Chinese guy who has a undergrad in Econ, two masters in Social work and Sociology and pursuing his Ph. D in a government degree... he is 30 and never has had a job in his whole life. he has been living off very good scholarships.