Spinoff to the spinoff: How important is experience for the girl?

[AmbrNrgy]

Guys - if there was a girl who had little experience or was a virgin...would that be weird for you? Would you like it?

I've met some guy that like it...and some that say they don't want a virgin because then they feel too much responsibility. However, there aren't many of those guys, most want to deflower the girl lol. :evil: :green:

[WeirdBrake]

Doesn't matter at all.

[AmbrNrgy]

Are you speaking for the male population Weird Brake? :p :lol:

[WeirdBrake]

I do so speaketh. :huge:

(actually, I can only speak for myself, but if asked about guys in general, I don't think they care that much)

[meatwad]

Insert someplace warm, preferably moist. Thrust. Repeat.

[SunDevil]

I care, but that is probably because I don't have any experience myself. I would like being her first. Plus I wouldn't want to hear anything about her past.

[labrat2111]

It could be a little weird if the girl was really into me and wanted to lose her virginity but I wasn't as into her. If it was a regular relationship though it wouldn't be weird at all -- plus it's good to know to take things slower than usual. And yes I would like it :huge:

[ebruening]

I care, but that is probably because I don't have any experience myself. I would like being her first. Plus I wouldn't want to hear anything about her past.

Well, I certainly don't bring up past experiences with guys. That's a big "no no" for me. I don't want to hear it from a guy, either. Every guy I've been involved with has asked if I'm a virgin - they just want to know, which I have no problem talking about. I'll certainly answer their question, but I don't ever go into details.

[and1grad]

Doesnt matter to me. Maybe if I were a crasher...

[chitown1360]

Guys - if there was a girl who had little experience or was a virgin...would that be weird for you? Would you like it?

I've met some guy that like it...and some that say they don't want a virgin because then they feel too much responsibility. However, there aren't many of those guys, most want to deflower the girl lol. :evil: :green:

It to be honest its good to know that the girl just doesnt give it up to everyone and also that she is clean. Also, it would be fun to explore new things together.

[bridgetjones]

Thanks Chitown. I have the same rationale for not following the 3 date rule or having one nite stands. Sigh... I usually date a few months before I do "give it up".

Sometimes people talk like I am some kind of prude for not giving it up easily. No thanks not in this day and age. Plus I like to feel comfy and trust the person before the exchanging of bodily fluids. :evil:

E, funny that you get asked if you are a virgin. It seems that guys usually get the impression that I am looser than I am because I am not a prude when talking about sex. Although I do not give anybody any disgusting details about relationships for the most part. That is just well cheapening the experience. I mean you can say the sex was good/ bad but the exact curvature of someones you know what?! Nah!!! WTF I had one guy tell me that his GF wore f*ck me boots and an outfit the first nite. Ewww... I now cannot look at the girl now. Ugh... I would hate if my BF was talking about me like that to some chick that he had a fling with... Ick...

[ebruening]

BJ - I think I get asked that because I look very young, probably about 18, at best. My last boyfriend (an honest-to-god boyfriend this time, not a fling) actually said that he asked BECAUSE I looked so young. No, I don't talk about details or preferences with the guys, either...just a straight "no" to answer their question, and I leave it at that. (Well, obviously there was one guy to whom I had to answer "yes...")

[chitown1360]

Sometimes people talk like I am some kind of prude for not giving it up easily. No thanks not in this day and age. Plus I like to feel comfy and trust the person before the exchanging of bodily fluids. :evil:


To be honest, prude to me just seems like an insult people who are angry you wont put out throw around. It has more to do with the person than the act itself IMO. The fact that you are selective actually appeals to me. Some of my friends can easily go out and hook up with a girl and then the next night another one, but thats just not for me. I feel a connection immediately and I need the right person as lame as it may sound.

[bridgetjones]

Oh I forgot that you are a tiny blonde girl.

So what do you think of guys that divulge details about their sex lives with current girlfriends? Ick. Ok. Does that mean he does not respect her? I am confused about what that means. I thought that if a guy actually really likes a girl he keeps the details of their sex life private. If a guy is only in it for sex then he tells about it.

That thought has turned me off casual sex - the imagined locker room conversations that happen after... "Man BJ was an awkward ass..." I have been witness to a few when I fade into the background as a friend with boobs... Ugh... Shudder... I notice the same guys that will tell disgusting details about a casual thing will shut up if it is a serious relationship. They might say the sex is good but do not go into details. If it is casual girl it gets broadcasted... Guys???

[bridgetjones]

To be honest, prude to me just seems like an insult people who are angry you wont put out throw around. It has more to do with the person than the act itself IMO. The fact that you are selective actually appeals to me. Some of my friends can easily go out and hook up with a girl and then the next night another one, but thats just not for me. I feel a connection immediately and I need the right person as lame as it may sound.

Actually the most insult I got for that was from a girl. Isn't that strange? Guys might grumble, dump you if that is all they are into or grudgingly respect you for it. At least that has been my experience.

If a girl is easy to get well... Yeah... I hate to feel like a notch on a bedpost or a number in a blackbook.

[chitown1360]

Oh I forgot that you are a tiny blonde girl.

So what do you think of guys that divulge details about their sex lives with current girlfriends? Ick. Ok. Does that mean he does not respect her? I am confused about what that means. I thought that if a guy actually really likes a girl he keeps the details of their sex life private. If a guy is only in it for sex then he tells about it.

That thought has turned me off casual sex - the imagined locker room conversations that happen after... "Man BJ was an awkward ass..." I have been witness to a few when I fade into the background as a friend with boobs... Ugh... Shudder... I notice the same guys that will tell disgusting details about a casual thing will shut up if it is a serious relationship. They might say the sex is good but do not go into details. If it is casual girl it gets broadcasted... Guys???


I try to always refrain from talking about that and when I hear friends talking about it I honestly act like I dont care (which I dont). If people are talking about sometimes I seriously say enough and try to change the subject. Call me old fashioned but I dont think its anyone else's business , especially intimate details like that.

[bridgetjones]

That is nice. I think it kinda cheapens the experience if you say too much especially about your first time with a woman. That is crossing the line. I might talk in generalities which I think is fine as it does not degrade anyone involved.

Some guy friend of mine was talking about his GF like that to me. I was like TMI man TMI!! Later I thought if I was his GF and found out about that I would feel kinda violated. Seems abit disrespectful to me. I mean if it was about some random hook-up it does not seem so bad bc that person is not sharing your life but your GF?! Yeah I now cannot look at the girl without seeing her in f*ck me boots and a smile.

[chitown1360]

haha that is quite awful, I guess it changes the outlook of the person in question...maybe if it were said in nicer terms :p

[chitown1360]

That is nice. I think it kinda cheapens the experience if you say too much especially about your first time with a woman. That is crossing the line. I might talk in generalities which I think is fine as it does not degrade anyone involved.

Some guy friend of mine was talking about his GF like that to me. I was like TMI man TMI!! Later I thought if I was his GF and found out about that I would feel kinda violated. Seems abit disrespectful to me. I mean if it was about some random hook-up it does not seem so bad bc that person is not sharing your life but your GF?! Yeah I now cannot look at the girl without seeing her in f*ck me boots and a smile.

also your friend should know that you dont like it and try to refrain

[bridgetjones]

Yeah and to think I had a crush on this guy. Do not think his GF knew him at all before they dated. He is cool as a friend but that incident was another collection to reasons he is not BF material. Although it is not my place to smack him upside the head, tear him a new one while saying "is nothing sacred to you !!!" That is a GFs job ;):

[chitown1360]

Yeah and to think I had a crush on this guy. Do not think his GF knew him at all before they dated. He is cool as a friend but that incident was another collection to reasons he is not BF material. Although it is not my place to smack him upside the head, tear him a new one while saying "is nothing sacred to you !!!" That is a GFs job ;):

indeed...maybe if he knew of your crush he would have watched himself

[bridgetjones]

No I do not thinks so. That is what I get for being Ms. Easy to Talk To I guess.. Perhaps I will get over it if I let him hang himself by saying more stuff like that. C'mon disgust me! Here is the rope... Hang yourself! Get out of my head. Sigh...

I rather like the way that I can be blunt and honest with him but that was crossing the line! There is some mutual attraction going on and he has alot of qualities I like in a guy. I could say more but that would be violating his privacy ;): :p :evil:

[ebruening]

Sometimes, when my guy friends have known about my crushes on them (even if they were past crushes, and no longer exist on my part), they'll purposely make rude and insensitive comments about ex-girlfriends, or "casual fling" girls. I think it's an awful practice, personally...

[chitown1360]

No I do not thinks so. That is what I get for being Ms. Easy to Talk To I guess.. Perhaps I will get over it if I let him hang himself by saying more stuff like that. C'mon disgust me! Here is the rope... Hang yourself! Get out of my head. Sigh...

I rather like the way that I can be blunt and honest with him but that was crossing the line! There is some mutual attraction going on and he has alot of qualities I like in a guy. I could say more but that would be violating his privacy ;): :p :evil:

yup, exactly what you are avoiding I guess ;)

[bridgetjones]

Why do guys do this?! What is the purpose?!

I have never openly crushed on a guy. Maybe I might tell a girl pal but not use his real name. So I guess I have avoided that old problem unless a guy has detected it himself through observation.

However I have had more than one guy talking about sexual experiences with exes and talking about sex so as to get me hot and bothered?! What is the purpose? One guy friend I spoke to actually said that guys f*ck with girls head by getting them jealous. If you get a girl jealous then like the sex is great. Geez am I the only girl in the world that would see the motive and punish him like the dog he is. NO DOGGIE TREAT FOR YOU ASS!!!! :twisted:

Man with guy friends like this, who needs guy enemies?! Sadly enough it is reasonably easier to deal with that the crap you get from girl friends. I just avoid screwing my male pals and then just go guzzle some beer. Good times. Good times.

[chitown1360]

Man with guy friends like this, who needs guy enemies?! Sadly enough it is reasonably easier to deal with that the crap you get from girl friends. I just avoid screwing my male pals and then just go guzzle some beer. Good times. Good times.

that is AWESOME!!

[bridgetjones]

Now if I can only get some guy that is not such a poo poo head where there is a mutual interest to share something more intimate than beer guzzling, belching and telling gross stories.

I should hang with that guy less. He is warping my expectations about men being dogs. Otherwise a good friend, just bad BF. Not all men are like you Chi... Sigh...

[spokes]

here are a couple of my thoughts:

* I would not want to be "the first" for someone I really loved her - I would feel like it is a lot of pressure, besides at my age 30ish, it is unlikely I would meet someone who is "pure"

* bridget - it has been my experience that guys will very seldom get into details about thier expereinces with other guys. they might say things like it was great, or she looked incredible etc. it has been my expereince that the ladies share many more details amost themselves

* i am not bothered about someone talking about thier past, i think it gives me insight into who they are today, and besides if he did something you really liked, i hate to see you go without...... :p

generally speaking i would rather be with someone who is expereinced and knows what she likes and isn't afraid to try new stuff......

[wordsmith]

Sometimes, when my guy friends have known about my crushes on them (even if they were past crushes, and no longer exist on my part), they'll purposely make rude and insensitive comments about ex-girlfriends, or "casual fling" girls. I think it's an awful practice, personally...

This sucks, and when they do this, I automatically think exponentially less of them. When the need to "make your point" supercedes basic tact and sensitivity, you lose points FAST. It's such an asshole thing to do.

[robinhood2003]

I've had a situation in college in which one of my residents (I was the RA on the floor in the residence hall) wanted to hook up with me for a one-nighter and she told me that she a virgin, but I told her that I don't want to sleep with virgins.....and when we came back from Xmas break, she told me that she had sex recently and we got drunk and had sex......and it was pretty obvious that she was a virgin and she finally told me the truth that she only said that to sleep with me....to which I feel.....

....that I took someone's innocense with not the best intentions......I had no other feelings towards the girl and as a result.....she told me that she was in love with me and had so much feelings and emotions towards me....needless to say that she and I don't talk anymore........but....I wouldn't want to be first for anyone b/c it's something special and should be cherished.....but that's just my opinion.......

[wordsmith]

Well, MAYBE the first time is something special, and maybe it's not. There's a lot that's been mythologized about it (particularly for girls, from my view, though I can't speak for guys). I think there's way too much buildup and hype and symbolism about it sometimes. Personally, my first real relationship meant much more to me, symbolically, than my first time.

[Tayl405]

Personally, my first real relationship meant much more to me, symbolically, than my first time.

You know, that's very true for me too. I didn't have sex in my first real relationship, but it will always mean something to me. The first time I had sex...I could totally forget about it.

[bridgetjones]

* bridget - it has been my experience that guys will very seldom get into details about thier expereinces with other guys. they might say things like it was great, or she looked incredible etc. it has been my expereince that the ladies share many more details amost themselves

* i am not bothered about someone talking about thier past, i think it gives me insight into who they are today, and besides if he did something you really liked, i hate to see you go without...... :p

generally speaking i would rather be with someone who is expereinced and knows what she likes and isn't afraid to try new stuff......

Hmm... I guess I know some pretty skanky guys or something that do talk about it like that. I am not bothered about someone talking about their past. However specific details about sex with their current SO is sort of well disrespectful. That bugged the hell out of me. Why did he decide to share it with me like she was some random hook-up? Ugh. You like someone alot and then there are dealbreakers that fall out of their mouths.

As for whether females tell disgusting details about sex... It depends on the group. Same goes for guys I take it. Most of my girl pals do not go into disgusting detail about sex. More likely that it is the emotional details of the relationship in disgusting details. Do not be fooled by SATC. However I currently do not have either a sex life or girlfriends I discuss my sex life with. I find guys to be more crude about it. Perhaps I need to date outside my circle of guy friends anyways...

Yes the first time is significant and it should not be a random hook-up IMO. THere is always the chance that you might get attached from it. Not to mention you tend to always remember the first guy. In my case it was my first real relationship and the first time guy.

[J-girl]

And even if we do discuss sex details (me and my friends i.e) we do it in a tasteful manner.

And I never dicuss sex details with any of my guy friends ew. Knowing that how some of them have confessed they have imagined me naked I DONT THINK SO.

[bridgetjones]

Well I have never told specific disgusting details about sex acts I have been involved in or perpetuated to well anyone male or female. Although I have found that I have learned more from my guy freinds about relationships and sex than from my female friends. Perhaps that is a reflection of the quality of my female friends. Man good ones are hard to find!

I just assume all guys picture me naked as a reflex anyways. It does not gross me out anymore. Is that sad or just accepting of the male species?

[J-girl]

Is that sad or just accepting of the male species?


The latter. And anyone who doesnt do so I imagine them to be gay.

[wordsmith]

Is it weird that I don't ever find myself speculating about my male friends' units?

[bridgetjones]

Aw hell I would be offended if they did not :)

If they do not well I can find some gay man to tell me I am FABULOUS.

[bridgetjones]

Is it weird that I don't ever find myself speculating about my male friends' units?

No it is not.

[J-girl]

EWWWW I would never speculate about my male friend's units!

[wordsmith]

Interesting, no?

[WeirdBrake]

Jess... where exactly are you going with this no doubt endlessly fascinating line of questioning? Inquiring minds want to know.

[J-girl]

Aw hell I would be offended if they did not :)

If they do not well I can find some gay man to tell me I am FABULOUS.
Yeah I'd be offended too! IMAGINE ME NAKED DAMMIT!!! :heehee:

[bridgetjones]

Um I think once that sort of speculation starts he is no longer a male friend?

Nah the package is not the first thing that comes to mind when checking a guy out. As far as body parts goes - the ass, abs, face... Then perhaps further down the line the package ladies and gentlemen...

[wordsmith]

It always intrigues me how our psyches/wiring is so different sometimes...men seem to always note how they're often sexually attracted to women friends (not that they'll typically be be willing to get into a deeper relationship with one), and women tend to not think sexually about their male friends, if they're not romantically interested. I wonder why this is?

[bridgetjones]

Yes I know! I have to remind my guy friends that I am not a male when explaining my sex behavior. It has been enlightening both ways I think.

As far as I know there are guys that talk to a girl that they are attracted to and if it goes nowhere then it is friendsville. Or some that would exploit that even.

I typically am either attracted or not. Several guys that have been attracted to me I cool it off and it turns into friendship.

However should I get cynical and assume all my guy friends just want to bone me if given the chance? Some people think that men and women cannot really be friends because of the sex factor. They automatically assume there is a sexual attraction on one part cuz um why else would they want to hang with each other. Ugh! I do not think so.

[WeirdBrake]

A lot of you seem to be falling to the false love/sex dichotomy of western culture, promoted by the Judeo-Christian worldview. This is when "love" (meaningful, romantic relationship) is seen as deep, holy, spiritual, good, etc. and "sex" (physical attraction and intimacy) is seen as shallow, carnal, crude, sinful, etc. The truth is that it's much more complicated than that, and there are a lot of gray areas. Don't fall into the trap of thinking that there's some strict separation between the two. That's the underlying mindset I'm beginning to see here.

[bridgetjones]

I do not think anyone thinks there is a strict separation.

DAMMIT I WANT BOTH!!!

Thanks for listening!

[labrat2111]

However should I get cynical and assume all my guy friends just want to bone me if given the chance? .

Very likely. :evil:

[J-girl]

Don't fall into the trap of thinking that there's some strict separation between the two. That's the underlying mindset I'm beginning to see here.


Where do you see that WB? We were discussing how men are visual creatures and women are not for the most part.

And it's just interesting to note that!

[WeirdBrake]

Bridgetjones used the word "cynical" and then in the same sentence said something about the assumption that "all men want to bone her." Cynical implies an assumption of immorality; "all men want to bone her" is the crudest way of referring to sex. So it suggests the underlying cultural mindset that sex is bad, dirty, shallow, sinful, etc., and contrasted against the more wholesome world of meaningful relationships. I'm not saying Bridgetjones actually thinks this or believes it, but I'm saying that this underlying attitude pervades how we think and talk about these subjects in very subtle ways.

[bridgetjones]

Well we women are visual creatures just not to the same extent as males.

Yeah well I would feel pretty lonely if the only reason I have alot of guy friends is because they all just want to bone me and not bc they actually respect my friendship.

[bridgetjones]

Bridgetjones used the word "cynical" and then in the same sentence said something about the assumption that "all men want to bone her." Cynical implies an assumption of immorality; "all men want to bone her" is the crudest way of referring to sex. So it suggests the underlying cultural mindset that sex is bad, dirty, shallow, sinful, etc., and contrasted against the more wholesome world of meaningful relationships. I'm not saying Bridgetjones actually thinks this or believes it, but I'm saying that this underlying attitude pervades how we think and talk about these subjects in very subtle ways.

Well I was refering to certain opinions that are prevalent throughout society. If I believed all guys just want to bone me then I would be a sad friendless person. I think that some of my guy friends would happily bone me but there is a genuine feeling of friendship too. It is not immoral it is biological. Hell I would love to have a relationship where I get both needs fulfilled! So far no good.

I think society has swung in the other direction where sex is devalued and made into this dirty thing that you give away. Or ofcourse it is something that you wait to give to your hubby. :frustrate

[and1grad]

Even tho I'm trying to believe you were kidding but I really hope you dont think all men want to see all women naked. It makes for a funny comedy bit and all but its definitely NOT the case.

[bridgetjones]

No just reasonably attractive ones like myself ;)

[J-girl]

LOL bridget!

and1- I was just talking about myself. Sometimes in the elevators and what not just from a guy's gaze I start thinking to myself "oh my god he is imagining me naked" :green:

[bridgetjones]

Hey isnt there some truth to it. What is the statistic? Men think about sex like 6 times an hour or something like that. I can easily go a few days without thinking about sex. :p

[and1grad]

Sometimes in the elevators and what not just from a guy's gaze I start thinking to myself "oh my god he is imagining me naked" :green:
Sure you didnt just spill something? :evil:

[WeirdBrake]

Hey, and1.... Methinks the egos of J-girl and Bridget here shouldn't be writing checks their bods can't cash!

*SLAM!* :lol: :twisted:

[bridgetjones]

Hey Jgirl in Europe they would do more than look at you in some parts :green:

Hey my body is too bootylicious for ya baby!!!

Better to go around thinking I am the shit than the opposite eh guvna?!

[J-girl]

Yeah bridget- They ahve no qualms in just grabbing those parts in Europe. :lol:

WB- No I really dont have an ego, I am allowed to think happy thoughts arent I? :lol:
But seriously I'd be offended if a guy doesnt imagine me naked lol.


and1- well once my fly was undone!

[temptation]

Well I have never told specific disgusting details about sex acts I have been involved in or perpetuated to well anyone male or female. Although I have found that I have learned more from my guy freinds about relationships and sex than from my female friends. Perhaps that is a reflection of the quality of my female friends. Man good ones are hard to find!

I just assume all guys picture me naked as a reflex anyways. It does not gross me out anymore. Is that sad or just accepting of the male species?

I have never been one to go into disgusting detail. In fact, I don't discuss my dating life at all--My friends have come to expect a generic vague answer from me. I feel like guys who go into detail are insecure and have something to prove. It's like one big ego trip.

And BJones, I wouldn't say I really picture girls naked. I kind of like the way clothes drape across or cling to a women's body. It makes the whole dance much more seductive.

[and1grad]

and1- well once my fly was undone!
Niiiccee. :lol:

I was gonna say to put your money where your mouth is...buuuuttttttt...thats more for a Friday thread, I think.

[temptation]

LOL bridget!

and1- I was just talking about myself. Sometimes in the elevators and what not just from a guy's gaze I start thinking to myself "oh my god he is imagining me naked" :green:

Yeah, that's exactly what goes through my head when a girl checks me out too. Especially when she tries to grab my ass. :cool:

[bridgetjones]

Ya North Americans would be too afraid of a law suit. I once made out with an American in Europe. I was giggling because the process sounded like I was signing a sexual harrasment waiver. Reminded me of a sketch on SNL - "Is this sexual harrasment?" Canadian boys are not so much like that in my experience.

May I this? May I that? A European would just grab your ass! Rather like Californias governator... Cannot picture him saying "May I grab your ass? Thank you!"

Jgirl there is nothing wrong with a healthy ego. Except if you are a girl and it might seem - gasp - conceited. BLAH!!! Now pardon me while I shake my money maker.

[J-girl]

Temptation- you pig thats not what us women are all about :D :D

Just kidding!
Some of us do imagine the "O" face lol! :evil:

Bridget - American guys are such hot lovers though! :evil:

Europeon guys are like "You have nice bobs (boobs) you have zhe nice boam (bum)" :D

Canadian guys are just there. No offence Temptation, spokes, deadend and the gang. :D

[bridgetjones]

Well Mr. Temptation, you are still looking at their bodies and using your imagination. Umm... Umm... I agree with you on the having to talk about it thing. You can discuss sex in detail without degrading specific people.

JGirl, oh man, that guy was the only American and it was freaking funny to me. May I please touch your bum? Damn it boy it is there for the grabbing! Although I do like cornfed Midwest boys like Mr. Pitt. Ummm... Ummm...

Ah... Canadian boys... They are a ok!

Europeans - you know Jgirl there is something to be said for being open about stuff. Sometimes a girl needs to hear the words "nice ass". Yes I have a mind and a nice ass. Thank you!

[J-girl]

Mr. Pit--- yum. If I could have him for a day the things I would do to him. :evil:

"May I touch your bum?" Who says that haha but thats cute though. Poor guy must be overwhelmed in Euro land.

[spokes]

I am Canadian........ :green:

[spokes]

Hey isnt there some truth to it. What is the statistic? Men think about sex like 6 times an hour or something like that. I can easily go a few days without thinking about sex. :p

for the record, it is 6 times per minute, not per hour (hey i can't control what happens when i am sleeping.......

as for going a few days without thinking about it, I am assuming that you then really dwell on it to make up for lost time.

[bridgetjones]

Oh Canada! *** Waving flag and shaking Canadian booty ***

JGirl that guy was a manwhore in the US. I guess he could not leave his waiver form consent thing at home. Ummm... Makes me appreciate a nice dirty talking to from a European, especially one with an accent. Ummm....

[bridgetjones]

for the record, it is 6 times per minute, not per hour (hey i can't control what happens when i am sleeping.......

as for going a few days without thinking about it, I am assuming that you then really dwell on it to make up for lost time.

:cry:

Who sez I just dwell?

:evil:

[J-girl]

I think I can go on without sex for atleast a month. And then I take a cold shower :p

[J-girl]

JGirl that guy was a manwhore in the US. I guess he could not leave his waiver form consent thing at home.

"umm yeah could you please sign here, and initial here... and here... and here... and here... and I am going to have you sign here... and here... NOW can I touch your ass?" :lol:

[wordsmith]

[QUOTE=spokes]for the record, it is 6 times per minute/QUOTE]

Six times per minute? How do you even form anything resembling a coherent thought or sentence if you're thinking of sex every ten seconds?

[spokes]

one word - multi-tasking. sometimes when i am thinking about that, i am working on a work related problem in the backgroud, then i swap the thoughts....... :green:

[MetFanL]

So, back to the original subject...

I don't give a sh*t about experience. Whatever a dude brings to the table, IMO, is just so he can be better with me at that time. As long as it's the past, I don't care.

My number is still pretty low, but I'm in double digits and I would have to think that, at age 28, anyone would expect any different.

[and1grad]

Double digits is low? Well...fuck. ;)

[WeirdBrake]

MetFan... you're saying you've had sex with more than ten guys at age 28???!!! Holy crap. Well, gotta be honest with ya.... yes, I would have most definitely expected differently. But hey, I guess it's not my place to judge.

[MetFanL]

MetFan... you're saying you've had sex with more than ten guys at age 28???!!! Holy crap. Well, gotta be honest with ya.... yes, I would have most definitely expected differently. But hey, I guess it's not my place to judge.

You've been gone too long... I hope you're being sarcastic.

Yes, at age 28, and1, I think low double digits is still pretty conservative. If you started having sex when you were 18, and have had 10 partners, that's one a year.

[WeirdBrake]

If low double digits at 28 is conservative, Pat Robertson is a liberal. And that's not sarcasm.

[Tayl405]

In all honesty, a really high number would probably freak me out. What would that number be? Just making one up on the spot, let's say....anything over averaging 2 a year since you started having sex could be kinda high. Does that seem fair?

[Winter Storm]

In all honesty, a really high number would probably freak me out. What would that number be? Just making one up on the spot, let's say....anything over averaging 2 a year since you started having sex could be kinda high. Does that seem fair?

Hey! This is suppose to be discussed MY thread!

http://www.quarterlifecrisis.com/forums/showthread.php?t=13381

[wordsmith]

Yes, at age 28, and1, I think low double digits is still pretty conservative. If you started having sex when you were 18, and have had 10 partners, that's one a year.

However, it's come up on these boards many times that there are a good number of us who started considerably later, in which case double digits isn't necessarily a conservative estimation.

[Tayl405]

Hey! This is suppose to be discussed MY thread!

Oh yeah....I'm confused by all the sex threads! :huge: :confused:

[MetFanL]

Hey! This is suppose to be discussed MY thread!

http://www.quarterlifecrisis.com/forums/showthread.php?t=13381

sh*t... I thought that's where I was posting. oops. Sorry, Winter.

[WeirdBrake]

Hey! This is suppose to be discussed MY thread!

http://www.quarterlifecrisis.com/forums/showthread.php?t=13381

I got confused with all the spinoffs. :green:

However, it's come up on these boards many times that there are a good number of us who started considerably later, in which case double digits isn't necessarily a conservative estimation.

Good point.

[WeirdBrake]

Oh yeah....I'm confused by all the sex threads! :huge: :confused:

GMGCA! lol

[MetFanL]

However, it's come up on these boards many times that there are a good number of us who started considerably later, in which case double digits isn't necessarily a conservative estimation.

True. I'm just not one of those. In fact, at 18, I was the last person to lose my virginity out of my group of friends. My friends were all having sex at 14.

[wordsmith]

Right, and for me, who "lost it" at nearly 26, to be in the double digits by 28 would hardly be conservative.

[and1grad]

Damn...so many sex threads, so little time. I'm only one man. The mind is willing...

[wordsmith]

Ahem, weaker sex alert, weaker sex alert...

[ebruening]

Well, MAYBE the first time is something special, and maybe it's not. There's a lot that's been mythologized about it (particularly for girls, from my view, though I can't speak for guys). I think there's way too much buildup and hype and symbolism about it sometimes. Personally, my first real relationship meant much more to me, symbolically, than my first time.

I mistakenly thought, in my first real relationship, that sex was a requirement after a certain period of dating. I wasn't disappointed, per se, but my first time wasn't anything special. FYI, it wasn't the guy's fault, lest men take offense at that comment.

[and1grad]

Ahem, weaker sex alert, weaker sex alert...
If only these threads didnt come with so many "strings attached"... :evil: :razz:

[maxwell78]

Hey, Words can attach all the strings she wants to me... :twisted:

[littlemariposa]

so...i've been wondering about this myself. i am not very experienced at all(but willing to learn, etc) and i am almost to the point of terrified (or at least very scared) that it is a dealbreaker with most guys. and when are you even supposed to bring it up? i think i would feel more comfortable if the guy knew up front, but i don't want to scare him away.

[hoodie]

I would bring it up in a very general term of "I want to take it slow", and then see if he respects your wishes. I don't think you have to completely divulge that you are inexperienced, just get the desire to move slowly and cautiously out on the table, and if the guy is worth your while, he will respect that and handle it with grace.

[temptation]

so...i've been wondering about this myself. i am not very experienced at all(but willing to learn, etc) and i am almost to the point of terrified (or at least very scared) that it is a dealbreaker with most guys. and when are you even supposed to bring it up? i think i would feel more comfortable if the guy knew up front, but i don't want to scare him away.

Really? I'm turned off by girls with too much experience. One of my biggest concerns is whether the girl is gonna give me an STD. I don't care how attractive a girl is but I'm gone if I think she's been around the block.

And here's my take on experience. You just need that one person to turn you into the world's greatest lover. If the person you are with will not take the time to explore your body and make you comfortable then why would you want to be with him?

[bridgetjones]

Really? I'm turned off by girls with too much experience. One of my biggest concerns is whether the girl is gonna give me an STD. I don't care how attractive a girl is but I'm gone if I think she's been around the block.

And here's my take on experience. You just need that one person to turn you into the world's greatest lover. If the person you are with will not take the time to explore your body and make you comfortable then why would you want to be with him?

I tried explaining this concept to a guy once. You know that casual sex is not likely to be satisfying for the girl so definately not worth the physical and emotional risk! Yeah I shall remain frustrated but not have a disease!

That being said one BF did not believe me about not going around the block. Dude, you can learn alot over a LTR with ONE person, it is clear you did not learn as much as I did in my LTR :p ;) Plus what works on one person does not transfer to the next person. You gots to retrain the man to your specs - that requires a relationship :p ;)

Ok the jokes about what happens in Europe stays in Europe got to his head... Argh!

[computer guy]

Well, seeing as to how I have no experience to speak of... I'd say the same is fine with a girl.

I will say that I think there is such a thing as too much experience. I'm not sure where that line is, perhaps it changes from person to person, basically I wouldn't want to worry about baggage and/or a STI (that's the new PC term for STD btw).

Being a Christian, I don't think it would be appropriate for me to have sex before I'm married. At the same time I know others out there may have but, I think if I was truely in love with them, then their past wouldn't matter.

[bridgetjones]

I do not think we are defining "experience" clearly enough.

"Experience" is not synonymous with having many sexual partners. You can have many sexual partners and not know what you are doing! One nite stands do not teach you much about pleasuring. God knows I would end up faking it in such a situation to get the hell out. Plus you might not know how to do other things properly...

"Experience" is what you might get out of ONE relationship be it your spousal unit or a LTR. Such a person might know more than someone that has simply racked up the numbers.

Sooo... I am low on the numbers. However, that does not make me inexperienced. While I am not waiting for marriage I am abit sick of some people saying I need to loosen up. Umm... No... Only in a monogamous relationship with someone that cares about me and visa verse... Thanks...

[computer guy]

I do not think we are defining "experience" clearly enough.

"Experience" is not synonymous with having many sexual partners. You can have many sexual partners and not know what you are doing! One nite stands do not teach you much about pleasuring. God knows I would end up faking it in such a situation to get the hell out. Plus you might not know how to do other things properly...

"Experience" is what you might get out of ONE relationship be it your spousal unit or a LTR. Such a person might know more than someone that has simply racked up the numbers.

Sooo... I am low on the numbers. However, that does not make me inexperienced. While I am not waiting for marriage I am abit sick of some people saying I need to loosen up. Umm... No... Only in a monogamous relationship with someone that cares about me and visa verse... Thanks...


Well if you take sex out of it, I'd prefer to date someone who's been in enough relationships to know what their looking for in a LTR type relationship that could lead to marriage. I'd don't think that's what you were referring to though.

I'll stand by my previous statement that a lack of sexual experience wouldn't bother me any as long as when the time comes, she's willing to explore.

[bridgetjones]

Well my dear this is a sex thread! However some of the same principles apply here. ;):

I just sometimes find there is a reverse snobbery. It is not PC to call someone that chooses to have casual sex a slut. However it is more socially acceptable to discriminate against someone who chooses not to and has a strong stance on it. You obviously have more of a moral stance on casual sex which the right girl will respect. At some point you should tell the person you are dating about it bc some will dump you for it and FINE. You have standard, great!

I was approaching the same thing from a pragmatic standpoint of pleasure you are likely to get out of it. I did not even get into the lack of objectivity that might happen if you screw too early in a relationship but that is another thread I think... Then there is the icky thought that you are being compared to too many people when you are in bed with them... Ick!

[bridgetjones]

That would sort of creep me out that I do not have privacy. Although I guess saying she is great in the sack is fine. A BF teaching me a trick but not telling me the source fine. However telling me what ex-gfs did in bed - eww... Not to mention isn't that a headgame that creates competition. I would tell the guy to STFU and give me tips no sources.

However what she wore the first night you did it is abit too much... That she is a kinky girl - fine.

Don't you feel less inclined to talk about the disgusting details if you actually like the girl and want a relationship? I am confused about that.

[temptation]

Ya North Americans would be too afraid of a law suit. I once made out with an American in Europe. I was giggling because the process sounded like I was signing a sexual harrasment waiver. Reminded me of a sketch on SNL - "Is this sexual harrasment?" Canadian boys are not so much like that in my experience.

May I this? May I that? A European would just grab your ass! Rather like Californias governator... Cannot picture him saying "May I grab your ass? Thank you!"

Jgirl there is nothing wrong with a healthy ego. Except if you are a girl and it might seem - gasp - conceited. BLAH!!! Now pardon me while I shake my money maker.


Yeah, I accidently grabbed a women's ass in Puerto Rico and she just kind of checked me out and made no big deal out of it. I would have gotten a serious tongue lashing or worse somewhere else.

[J-girl]

Yeah, I accidently grabbed a women's ass in Puerto Rico and she just kind of checked me out and made no bid deal out of it. I would have gotten a serious tongue lashing or worse somewhere else.
Did you "accidentally" end up having sex with her too? :googly:

[temptation]

Did you "accidentally" end up having sex with her too? :googly:


No, no. I'm serious. I was talking to a friend while reaching for a stool which I thought was free. Her ass had the same texture as a cushion so I just grabbed and pulled. I actually tried to sit on her ass. Pretty funny actually.

[bridgetjones]

Her ass had the texture of a cushion? Ha ha ha...

Whoops I tripped, slipped and fell on his d*ck your honour... :D

[J-girl]

Temptation- you are full of you know what! I am not buying that story!

You grabbed her ass and tried to sit on it cuz it had the texture of a cushion! WTF! :huge:

[bridgetjones]

Well when in Rome.... right?

[temptation]

Temptation- you are full of you know what! I am not buying that story!

You grabbed her ass and tried to sit on it cuz it had the texture of a cushion! WTF! :huge:


Man, the one time I'm serious and nobody believes me! :frustrate It was dark and I couldn't really see that well. Plus her pants were black and painted on. She was actually sitting on the stool so her ass was about the same height as the cushion. The firmness off her ass plus the texture of her pants lead me to beleive it was a cushion. Trust me, there were many asses I would have grabbed before that one.

But I do hear people about the sexual harrassment thing. Guys at my university and work walk on eggshells around women. My university introduced title IX (gender equity in sports) for the entire NCAA. Say the wrong thing and your ass is on probabtion or court.

[bridgetjones]

Hey I believe you but it is still pretty darn funny!

So what is the standard for talking about your um sexual experiences to friends/GFs/ex-Gfs?

[temptation]

Hey I believe you but it is still pretty darn funny!

So what is the standard for talking about your um sexual experiences to friends/GFs/ex-Gfs?


Honestly, I don't tell them anything anymore. Otherwise they use the info as blackmail or as comic relief.

The downside of not telling anything is that they accuse me of sleeping with girls that I have never even touched. That is just annoying.

Comments such as "You definitely f*cked her!" or insinuating stares. Very annoying. :frustrate

[bridgetjones]

You are not most guys Tempty...

Beats me I guess that I would not want a BF talking about what I do in bed in intimate detail - geralities like she is good fine. Umm... Privacy! Do not want to be an unintentional source of comic relief.

I think it is gross to tell stories about an exes sexual things to a GF in more than just generalities... I do not talk about current BFs in anything but general detail.

I thought guys do not talk about girls they like in detail but talk in detail about one niters? Thoughts?

[temptation]

I thought guys do not talk about girls they like in detail but talk in detail about one niters? Thoughts?


Maybe. I wouldn't know. I may act macho but I don't do one nighters. One of the reasons might be cuz I stopped drinking when I was 19. So no beer goggles for me!

[J-girl]

I think it is gross to tell stories about an exes sexual things to a GF in more than just generalities... I do not talk about current BFs in anything but general detail.


Tw of my gf's get into real gory details about their sex lifes and their bf's parts. They are both okay on their own but when the two of them are together lord have mercy.

One of them told me how her bf is 8 feet tall and a lot of other stuff. And the other one whose bf is a very good friend of mine (I am closer to him than her) told me her bf has a g-spot curve. And they are both serious with their men!

I know my ex went and told his friends that me and him had had sex first week into the relationship which is BS cuz we didnt do it till like the 3rd month! Idiot !

[temptation]

One of them told me how her bf is 8 feet tall and a lot of other stuff. And the other one whose bf is a very good friend of mine (I am closer to him than her) told me her bf has a g-spot curve. And they are both serious with their men!




And you just told everyone on the web! :huge:

[J-girl]

Yeah and silly me I actually thought he was 8 feet tall. LOL. She was like "he is 8 feet tall", and Iwas like "what- does he play basketball or something?" :huge:

and i had no idea what a g spot curve is.

[temptation]

Yeah and silly me I actually thought he was 8 feet tall. LOL. She was like "he is 8 feet tall", and Iwas like "what- does he play basketball or something?" :huge:

and i had no idea what a g spot curve is.

Quote of the day:

"One persons crooked penis is another persons g-spot curve."

-Sir Tempt

[bridgetjones]

Yeah well what about this situation:
A male friend is talking to a female friend that he flirts with and has had a drunken night of passion with once. He has a girlfriend who is long distance. Somehow the conversation always ends up about sex. Hmm... He tells her that one of the reasons that he likes his CURRENT GF is that she is open in the sex department. Then he gives a pretty specific example about that relating to the first nite they made love. (Not sure he would even use that term w/o gagging)

THe female friend sez so what, I would not ask permission. Then she thinks for a sec and starts saying TMI alert!

Yes said female friend is obsessing about this bc she is attracted to said male friend but in so many ways he is wrong for her. However said female friend is still analysing it bc she cannot freaking help herself! So lets run with this.

Does this mean the following:
A - He does not like this girl enough to keep their sex life private. He claims to be into her but she might be an easy lay. That would be the first hypothesis.

B - He is f*cking with my head to see what I would say and to create some sort of competition ie "oh yeah well I am soooo much more kinky, let me show ya!" That would be the second hypothesis.

C- He just needs to be smacked upside the head for having a lack of propriety which is the job of his GF not said female friend.

D - This is normal behavior and completely acceptable.