Relationship question

[Jedi of Zen]

This is a question mainly for other guys who have ever felt this way, but input is most welcome from the ladies as well.

I've been talking to a girl who I met online. We live about 45 minutes away from each other. We've exchanged pics, talked on the phone a lot, talked about hanging out, etc. You know, all the "routine" stuff.

We've been talking for about a couple of weeks now, and she's already talking about sex. A lot. How much she likes sex, what she likes, how she likes it, etc. We've both admitted that, based on pics and our phone conversations, we're definitely attracted to each other. Oh - and she happens to be <i>extremely</i> hot - killer body, very cute smile. And she's exceptionally intelligent and sophisticated.

So I should be totally stoked, right?

Well, I'm not...at least not yet. The problem is, I don't know if I could handle a woman like this. More to the point - I'm not sure if I feel that I'm <i>good enough</i> for a woman like this. This is a woman who turns heads easily wherever she goes - what could she possibly see in a mere mortal like me?
I'm already thinking that I may end up being the one to put the brakes on jumping into bed right away, because I would like to think that, if handled properly, this could turn into something resembling a really special relationship. But I wonder if I'm not completely naive in thinking this. Or maybe I'm just a loser who doesn't appreciate a potential sexual encounter when he sees one. Fuck, I'm clueless. Don't get me wrong - I've had my share of relationships and flings, but this feels way out of my league for some reason.

[meatwad]

This is a question mainly for other guys who have ever felt this way, but input is most welcome from the ladies as well.

I've been talking to a girl who I met online. We live about 45 minutes away from each other. We've exchanged pics, talked on the phone a lot, talked about hanging out, etc. You know, all the "routine" stuff.

We've been talking for about a couple of weeks now, and she's already talking about sex. A lot. How much she likes sex, what she likes, how she likes it, etc. We've both admitted that, based on pics and our phone conversations, we're definitely attracted to each other. Oh - and she happens to be <i>extremely</i> hot - killer body, very cute smile. And she's exceptionally intelligent and sophisticated.

So I should be totally stoked, right?

Well, I'm not...at least not yet. The problem is, I don't know if I could handle a woman like this. More to the point - I'm not sure if I feel that I'm <i>good enough</i> for a woman like this. This is a woman who turns heads easily wherever she goes - what could she possibly see in a mere mortal like me?
I'm already thinking that I may end up being the one to put the brakes on jumping into bed right away, because I would like to think that, if handled properly, this could turn into something resembling a really special relationship. But I wonder if I'm not completely naive in thinking this. Or maybe I'm just a loser who doesn't appreciate a potential sexual encounter when he sees one. Fuck, I'm clueless. Don't get me wrong - I've had my share of relationships and flings, but this feels way out of my league for some reason.


Haha! You are in luck my friend. You get to tease the shit out of her and play hard to get. That way, you get to take things slow, and she'll get charged way up. BOOOOOOM! Good times.

[AmbrNrgy]

Tease her? If a guy teases me and plays hard to get, I'd forget about him. The reason why'd I'd forget about him is because I would feel like he wasn't interested in me.

Also, you sound like a great guy that any girl would be lucky to find. By the sound of it, I am sure that you are good enough for her. :bigger:

[LakeJay]

Do you think you might be worried that since things are going so well right now that they might be ruined once you meet? If this is the case, maybe you shouldn't meet up with her until you're absolutely ready. It could mean waiting a few days or a few months but just make sure your heads right. What may wind up happening is you'll just grow so impatient that you'll arrange to meet regardless of what the consequences might be.
Your expectations also seem to be making you anxious as well. If and when you decide to meet with her, go with the flow. If sex comes up, you make the call based on how you feel. If you think this could be something special, let it develop. Hate to play the pessimist but maybe she won't be on the same page with you. If this case, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you'll be able to detect this.
It's weird too that you feel inadequate all of a sudden. Apparently she doesn't think you're inadequate. Who knows? She might be feeling the same way. Give yourself some credit.
Best of luck with whatever you do.

[midtwenty]

My intial reaction is that, if she's TRULY that hot and she's meeting dudes online to talk sex, either she just really wants to get laid or she's got something seriously fucked up in her head.

[LakeJay]

My intial reaction is that, if she's TRULY that hot and she's meeting dudes online to talk sex, either she just really wants to get laid or she's got something seriously fucked up in her head.

I was thinking the same thing too especially when he mentioned how open she was talking about sex and her preferences. I kind of discounted that when I posted but it's definitely not something to look past so quickly.

[spokes]

talk is cheap - and i also beleive that if the two of you really have chemistry then it will translate to all areas.

i'd just relax and seee what happens........

[inuts]

Look at it from this perspective--she has to be taken by someone, so why not you? Most guys think they have to be "good enough" and try to make themselves better so they will be good enough. Don't worry about that. You are good enough now. Just remember that women in general value a good listener and a guy who makes them laugh more than they do a "perfect" guy.

[Brillo25]

I don't know how the other aspects of your conversations have gone, but if she's going on and on about sex over the phone to a guy she's never met, I'm having serious doubts that she would be special relationship material. I'm not saying this couldn't be a lot of fun, it just depends on what you're looking for. If she's seen your pics though and talked to you and decided that she wants to talk in detail about sex already, I doubt she thinks she's out of your league.

If you want a great relationship, there's some serious red flags here. If you just want to have at least a nice fling, looks like a likely opportunity. You may be unsure that you can handle a woman like this, but you don't know if you don't try. You don't want to kick yourself in the ass forever for not trying. But like GMODC said, be careful.

[Jedi of Zen]

And Jedi - if she's slept with as many guys as it seems... watch your health if you decide to pursue something with her.


She says that she once taught a sex-ed class, and is very safe-sex conscious. Which makes her whole approach seem even more funky. At any rate, thanks for the input everyone. All definitely good stuff to think about.