Update: My internet dating experiences

[temptation]

So I tried a few sites.

Campuskiss
Plentyoffish
Asianfriendfinder

Plentyoffish: Freesite. I met her in person. Let's just say she looks very different in person than she does in her photos. She was nice enough although I doubt we will be seeing too much of each other.

Campuskiss: I couldn't find anybody in my area who really interested me so I cancelled my membership. The site seemed very one-dimensional.

Asianfriendfinder: Mostly Asians and those who have a "thing" for asians. Only a few people registered in my city. I mostly get e-mails from China or other cities from people who I will never meet. Basically a waste of time.


I've been thinking of joining Lavalife. Given my other experiences, should I give it a shot?

[Kitty]

I say go for it..I've never even heard of the ones you have already tried. It might be better to go with one of the huge ones like match.com or lavalife.

[haloman]

After all the time I spent on those dating sites over the past two years, I have realized that it is better to find a true relationship outside of the Internet. Personally, I think that it is better to find someone outside of the internet, like someone you know in person from work , or school, or through friends, like it traditionally has been. If you ask me, online dating just isn't worth it. As a matter of fact, I am going to close my membership to yahoo personals and delete my profile tonight. I will also delete my other profile on blackplanet.com. I already deleted my profile on match.com and interracialmatch.com. There are a few important reasons why I don't think online dating is worth it.

1. For every woman you find on those dating sites, there must be at least 5 other guys emailing her. There are WAY more guys than girls on those sites. Just think about it.

2. She might be with someone else anyway. She could already have a boyfriend. One woman called me out of nowhere one Sunday evening long after I gave up calling her. Why?!?! Why would she call me all of a sudden? Her boyfriend or internet lover probably dumped her, and she was probably bored. Another woman didn't even tell me until I met her in person that she was married. She is divorced now, but at the time I met her, she was still married!!!


3. You don't know her in person, so she could be carrying all sorts of emotional baggage along. The woman you meet might have a habit of cheating on people. I told this one woman who doesn't date online (I knew her from college) that I was dating online. She was suspicious about the whole thing. She had a good point. She wondered, "why would someone not put a photo online?". And if the woman was good looking, why would she go on a site like that anyway? Don't get me wrong, a lot of women put pictures on the dating sites. And a lot of them are attractive. But don't you wonder why an attractive woman would even need to go on a dating website? Maybe she is looking for games.


This is just my two cents

[ebruening]

Haloman - you asked why an attractive girl would need/want to use online dating. I consider myself a reasonably attractive girl, and I've done online dating. I wasn't looking to string along several guys at once - that's not my style. Once I met a guy I was genuinely attracted to (in more than just looks), I ceased communicating with/dating other guys. Why did I want to do online dating? Quite frankly, it's hard for me to meet people. I don't go to bars, and I don't get hit on 5 times per night when I do go out...it's rare that I get hit on even once. Does that mean that I'm a recluse? No, I have a decent enough social life, and I work quite a lot, too. I'm not needy in that sense, but I do want to have a relationship with a decent guy.

[wordsmith]

But don't you wonder why an attractive woman would even need to go on a dating website? Maybe she is looking for games.

Not really, speaking as an attractive woman who has used dating sites. Not anymore than I wonder why an attractive guy would use a dating site. Maybe he's like me for all I know, working 50-60 hours a week and living in a town of 7,000 where there aren't many new people to meet. Don't pretend to know people's motivations, and assess them as untrustworthy based on nothing.

[Cole]

Maybe try salon.com, I know a lot of people who have had success there.

And as an attractive woman who has never had trouble finding guys to date, I used the internet. Why? because I was curious. And bored. And it was fun to email a bunch of guys at once and not waste a perfectly good night out unless I knew we had something to talk about.

[meatwad]

Because it's the eBay of dating. Sure there's a bunch of crap on there that you don't want or need, but you're going to buy the shit anyway cause it's there. The Interweb rules. I've got my Incredible Hulk #300, my rooster shaped cookie jar, and a date tommorow night. I mean come on. In Soviet Russia, Internet surfs you! I love America!!!!

[shimmer728]

I haven't done the traditional online dating thing, but I did meet my BF on here, and it's easily the best, healthiest relationship I've ever had. (By the way, haloman, he backs up your assertion that online dating sites are stacked in favor of guys.)

Some people might judge me for it, but whatever. I'm cute, smart and easy to get along with, but like wordsmith, I live in a small town and it's slim pickin's around here. The bar scene wasn't working for me, and fix-ups all failed miserably. What's a girl to do? :p

And BELIEVE ME--I speak from experience here--you can meet plenty of people with "emotional baggage" in real life, too!

Sorry online dating didn't work out for you. :(

[WeirdBrake]

(By the way, haloman, he backs up your assertion that online dating sites are stacked in favor of guys.)

Stacked in favor of GIRLS, rather. That is, I think there are lots more guys than girls on online dating sites, and therefore, guys get screwed over because of it.

[shimmer728]

Oh, oops, I misspoke. Yeah, what he said.

[WeirdBrake]

I'm cute, smart and easy to get along with

I can totally vouch for this. :)

[wordsmith]

I like that if you meet people who are jackoffs online, you don't ever have to actually deal with them in real life if you don't choose to. Which is vastly preferable to having to sit through a date with one, and continually run into them thereafter.

[coll214]

Quite frankly after my last snafu of dating in meeting someone the so-called 'traditional' way, online dating just sounds more appealing right now. Where else can you look a dude's profile, and say what he doesn't read? next please!! As long as they are being honest, it's a great way to weed people out :).

[wordsmith]

Very true. And it's a lot easier on us too-nice types to just pass over the profile of a guy who's not what we're looking for than to have to give the gentle let-down to his face.

[meatwad]

I'll report back after my first Internet date tonight. It's weird. I'm excited, but I'm not nervous at all. I thought I'd be a wreck, but I'm not.

[wordsmith]

It's weird, I'm never that nervous, either.

[MetFanL]

I'm considering giving this a try again once I'm done with the IJL nonsense. I think, for me, it really comes down to not wasting too much time with e-mailing. Chat a little, yes, but if you're interested, meet the person while the initial attraction/excitement is still there.

[meatwad]

I'm considering giving this a try again once I'm done with the IJL nonsense. I think, for me, it really comes down to not wasting too much time with e-mailing. Chat a little, yes, but if you're interested, meet the person while the initial attraction/excitement is still there.

I met this girl about a week or so ago. We've had time to e-mail back and forth and do the IM thing and I think it was plenty of time to decide that I want to see this girl in person for sure.