First Love G/F is back in my life again

[robinhood2003]

Well......during Memorial Day weekend, I spend most of my time, not going out and enjoying the weather, but instead I was cleaning out my winter clothes and switching out to my summer and throwing out old papers that I kept from school and such.

I came across old love letters and my ex that I first fell in love with (aka first love g/f) 10 years ago now lives in FL. Now, I decided to chuck those love letters, but I also decided to write her an update letter on how I'm doing (i.e. graduated college, have a career, living in NYC).

Now we've been talking and emailing ever since. We've admitted how strongly we still feel and that if it wasn't for distance, we would probably be together again. Also, we know about each other's significant other and she now tells me that she was just proposed to recently and said yes, which is very hard to deal with. Although I'm faithful with my g/f....I've had strong feelings for her again.......and recently when I came back from a my first vacation with my lovely g/f, my ex tells me that she doesn't feel "that way" for me.

Now it makes me feel like she only used me for a sounding board so she can talk to someone about how her fiance isn't involved in much in the wedding planning and that she loves it when I listen to her and that how she left me 20 emails and voicemails saying how much she misses me.....I mean, literally led me on.......but then I take a step back and realize I should've never contacted her......

Now, we got into an arguement over this and I decided to cut her off completely as a result, ignored her IM's, took her off my buddylist.....blocked her IM's, emails and such......did I do the right thing? Besides, I don't want to ruin her wedding now...it just wouldn't be right for the both of us.....but I just didn't like the fact that she admitted how she felt about me and took all that back......uughhhh

[wordsmith]

I would really feel like crap if I were your current girlfriend, to be honest. Are you happy with your current relationship? And if so, why the compulsion to probe that deeply into the past?

[WeirdBrake]

You absolutely did the right thing. I don't see anything good coming from you staying in contact with her.

[temptation]

This is a pandora's box waiting to explode. I think you did the right thing for the wrong reasons. Don't contact her again as long as both of you are in relationships with other people.

[tina1979]

I agree with Words and WB

[temptation]

I would really feel like crap if I were your current girlfriend, to be honest. Are you happy with your current relationship? And if so, why the compulsion to probe that deeply into the past?


That's what I was thinking. I feel bad for both the girl you are with and your EX's fiance.

[robinhood2003]

Believe me Jess....I feel like crap. I mean, I felt uncomfortable about the level that our conversations went. I mean, I love my g/f and she knows that I cared alot for this ex. When I thought about writing to my ex, I told my g/f about it...she was ok.......and I also told her that my ex was getting married and stuff.......

I mean, if I had a shot at going back to my ex....I most likely wouldn't b/c I've been with my g/f for almost six years....thick and thin.......but I totally feel guilty for even contacting her....even though my g/f knew about it and I was honest...the fact that I thought about her made me feel guilty.....

[robinhood2003]

That's what I was thinking. I feel bad for both the girl you are with and your EX's fiance.


My intentions were completely friendly and platonic....nothing more, I was worried about opening something that I honestly shouldn't.....and you guys are right......it's something that I should never have started :(

[wordsmith]

I mean, if I had a shot at going back to my ex....I most likely wouldn't b/c I've been with my g/f for almost six years....thick and thin.......but I totally feel guilty for even contacting her....even though my g/f knew about it and I was honest...the fact that I thought about her made me feel guilty.....

But you said in your first post that your ex and you determined that were distance not a factor, you'd be together again. Six years with your current GF? I would be crushed if that were me.

[temptation]

But you said in your first post that your ex and you determined that were distance not a factor, you'd be together again. Six years with your current GF? I would be crushed if that were me.

Yeah. 6 years is a long time. I couldn't even imagine what 6 years with one person is like. I guess that's why I'm not married.

[robinhood2003]

But you said in your first post that your ex and you determined that were distance not a factor, you'd be together again. Six years with your current GF? I would be crushed if that were me.


We were just saying a "what if" situation, and we both re-iterated how much we love our significant other's instead of each other.....it's just a memory lane type of thing.......but the fact that we spoke to each other scared me and I thought we should just cut off all contact....as a result, I feel much better about me, and it's funny.....she keeps wanting to talk to me, and hates the fact that I don't want to talk to her.....and as a result, she hates me.......but to me, it's the best thing....I'd rather be with my g/f who I love dearly......

[winneythepooh7]

I think you did the right thing. I think too it is normal to be naturally curious to what our ex's are up to. I know I often am, even though I have no intentions to get back together with any of them. I would be hurt though if I heard my current beau harbored feelings for his psychobitch ex-I mean girlfriend :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

[robinhood2003]

Ladies.....believe me, I feel horrible about me even thinking about my ex....and that is the main reason why I cut off all contact with her........I would feel heart broken if my g/f did this too so that's why I decided to not chat anymore with her.....

[wordsmith]

Well, good, because there's a difference between catching up and "hey, what are you up to," and maintaining a lengthy in-depth correspondence that sews the seeds for old feelings to crop up.

[temptation]

Ladies.....believe me, I feel horrible about me even thinking about my ex....and that is the main reason why I cut off all contact with her........I would feel heart broken if my g/f did this too so that's why I decided to not chat anymore with her.....


I'm actually not a lady. Anyway, I still feel bad about the poor schmuck who's fiance is sending love letters to her ex's.

[robinhood2003]

I'm actually not a lady. Anyway, I still feel bad about the poor schmuck who's fiance is sending love letters to her ex's.

Sorry temp......

[shimmer728]

Exes are exes for a reason. I see no reason to keep in contact, especially when you have a new SO to think of. You definitely did the right thing by cutting off contact.