bear with me

[sideout842]

Okay so anyways i have this more or less rant / dilemms and im not quite sure what category to put it in

so i've been with my g/f for about 3 1/2 years now

bout 3 months ago i decided to uproot myself from buffalo and move down to virginia, i was kinda bored with life and other than my family and a few straggling h/s friends and she really had no one so i figgured what the hell it'd be a change. My job transferred me down (Target) and she found something down here so i figgured we were all set

We moved into an apt with one of my best friends from hs (that's a whole other story on how big of a mistake that was). Anyways i realized that was a huge mistake (after reading conquering your quartlife crisis :-) ), so i made it my first priority to get out of there and find a new job which i did.. so now here's me in a new city witha new job and not knowing much of anyone. go me..

anyways me and the g/f didn't really have issues before but i haven't been perfectly happy for quite some time... i figgured moving down together would be what we needed so we did it. Needless to say it's been rougher down here.. she's gotten whineyer if that's a word and we really haven't made any new friends.. i feel bad staying out in the city or going out for drinks when she's back home (i work in dc, we live in fairfax) so i haven't really made any more either.

so anyways i guess my dilemma is what do i do... i can't see us getting married but i don't know how to tell her that... breaking up would be weird because of the living situation im in (i can't afford to lvie on my own down here) but i feel bored and trapped right now.. like there's no way out for me..

anyone have some advice or have been in this situation before... you don't hae to post email or IM me but i guess i need someone to talk to

thanks for your time

[Deadend]

I think you two need some space from each other. That doesn't mean suspention of the relationship, that just means you need other people around you.

[marcy]

I would feel really hurt if a boyfriend stayed with me just because he feels trapped. Does this woman assume that eventually you two will get married? If so you need to set her straight asap. The longer you wait the worse she is going to react.

There is literally no way that you two can break up and live in seperate apartments?

[sideout842]

There is literally no way that you two can break up and live in seperate apartments?

nope that's kind of my rock and a hard place now... we have a lease till next may and neither of us make enough to afford to live on our own... moving into my own room isn't the hard part it would just be the seeing her every day because then it'd be like having the relationship with out the title.. where the other person is still the first go to about your day and all taht.. i know peple who've had that and it isn't pretty

[wordsmith]

You definitely shouldn't be staying with somebody you don't want to be with just because you can't afford to live on your own. Find yourself a roommate or two.

[sideout842]

You definitely shouldn't be staying with somebody you don't want to be with just because you can't afford to live on your own. Find yourself a roommate or two.

i know i could probably find a rommate on craigs list or something but i also still care about her and would worry about her making sure that she's okay it's that whole love but not 'in love' deal with that i guess

[Jedi of Zen]

Maybe you and your g/f could try doing new things together. Since you both live in a new city, maybe that could give you an excuse to go exploring new restraunts, parks, etc. or just do something together that you both haven't done in awhile. or ever. Probably easier said than done, but it's just something I'm throwing out there. Good luck.

[sideout842]

we have.. it's been the one nice part of living near the nation's capital.. always fun stuff to do. but other than that it's still the same rut... i guess i just don't know how to initate this conversation without breaking her as i don't think she would see it coming..

[sideout842]

well i just did it... i went on a rant today... pretty much said everyting that's bothered me over the last few months and did everything except break up... it's sure gonna make things werid.. we've never had an agurment that bad.. i guess it's partly because it's in my nature to let things roll off of me... needless to say im sleeping on the couch tonight when i finally do go to bed.. i'll probably have a few more drinks befoer that.... god im in one dilly of a pickle right now...

ps since i'll prolly want to get out of the house if there's anyone in No. VA tomorrow that wants to go watch the Bills game with me tomorrow at greevy's let me know...