Apathy

[blueyes]

Walking into work today across the bridge, I realized that I have stopped caring about the office and its viability. I'm not even sure I ever did care about the office. :torn: I feel vaguely bad about this - like maybe I should care, but since I don't I'm a 'bad' person - but I've been given no reasons to care about the office, my coworkers, or the company at large other than keeping off project managers' blacklists, keeping the clients happy (read: finishing projects under budget and before deadline), and getting paid. I think a lot of this has been precipitated by my direct manager's change in attitude towards me since this second (as-of-now-still-unfinished) attempt at a transfer to Maryland. Add to this the fact that senior management in the office has ignored my requests and schedule, and given me twice the workload which I indicated I could handle. I have a whole slew of other things that, by themselves, are irritating but not unmanagable; I'll spare you all the ugly details. Suffice it to say, I just don't really care any more; all I want to is do to my work (which I enjoy) and get paid.

Is this an abnormal attitude to have, or (given the situation in my office) is this just one more sign I need to leave ASAP? :torn:

[natbumpo]

Well, if you like your work, you have a good headstart..at least you have an idea of what you want to do. From there, maybe you should look for a new working environment.

[WeirdBrake]

It's not an abnormal attitude. Or at least, in my opinion, not an unhealthy or bad one. I say that as someone who was, for the most part, completely apathetic about doing well in law school but who managed not to have that apathy sabotage my overall commitment to the legal field. Don't let the fact of your present apathy (for very legitimate reasons) fool you into thinking you're an apathetic, unmotivated person in general. Everyone goes through slumps.

[blueyes]

oh, I have a very good idea where I want to end up. I even know the person who I want to be working with. She's even indicated that she wants me to work for her! I simply don't have enough experience to justify the position yet, so I suppose I just have to put up with consulting for the time being.

WB, I realize that this is just a manifestation of this overall slump...I just wish that it would unslump already. I tried getting a hold of Mr. HR this morning, and he's out all week. I'm out most of next week, so it looks like he and I won't connect (re: transfer) until the second full week in Oct.

(I also feel I should state that Mr. Creepy Guy has already started his early morning loud cell phone conversations - and it's only 9:02...)

[Morgan81]

I think it's totally normal.
In a perfect world we all would care about our jobs because they would all be important to us....but, it's far from perfect and the vast majority of people don't give a shit. And when enough people who are beaten and don't care work at your office, that attitude rubs off and you can't help but feel the same.

[shimmer728]

You've described very much how I feel. I like my job. I really like doing what I do, and I care a lot about the stories I write and the people I write about. I don't slap things together and file them, thinking, "Whatever, who gives a shit how this turns out." I mean, EVERYBODY sees my work. I can't NOT care.

But as for the office and my editors......I could really give two shits. I'm just glad I'm allowed to work at home and avoid all the inevitable office politics. After their big mess-up a few weeks ago with one of my stories, I've really stopped caring whether they're unhappy with my work or think I'm not working hard enough. I'm just here to do my job.

[bridgetjones]

Well it sounds like you are unhappy with your workplace. It does not seem like they care about you personally so why should you care about them personally? If they did not need you or wanted to be rid of you, they would not shed a tear why should you?

Then again I have been thru some experiences that have molded me into someone that will only care about whether I do a good job, I am satisfied with the job tasks and that I can pay my bills. Beyond that what else should a company demand from you? Loyalty beyond what is required for ethics? Hah!

[shimmer728]

[QUOTE=bridgetjones]It does not seem like they care about you personally so why should you care about them personally? QUOTE]

It's not your boss' job to care about you personally. I suppose it's nice when they do, but I don't expect it. In turn, I don't really care about them, either.

[Kitty]

Your post sums up exactly how I am feeling right now. The past month I really just feel disillusioned by my job, by work in general...

I thought I just needed a vacation, but in a way that only made things worse. I have given up.

[shimmer728]

Your post sums up exactly how I am feeling right now. The past month I really just feel disillusioned by my job, by work in general...

I thought I just needed a vacation, but in a way that only made things worse. I have given up.

Disillusioned is a good way to sum up how I feel.

[Angyl]

You've described very much how I feel. I like my job. I really like doing what I do, and I care a lot about the stories I write and the people I write about. I don't slap things together and file them, thinking, "Whatever, who gives a shit how this turns out." I mean, EVERYBODY sees my work. I can't NOT care.

But as for the office and my editors......I could really give two shits. I'm just glad I'm allowed to work at home and avoid all the inevitable office politics. After their big mess-up a few weeks ago with one of my stories, I've really stopped caring whether they're unhappy with my work or think I'm not working hard enough. I'm just here to do my job.


ditto, holmes.

It's even gotten to the point where i feel like I'm stuck here forever, and I haven't even gotten off my butt to apply for that job I was so excited about.

[blueyes]

I just feel burned out - and I haven't even gotten ramped up to full-on craziness yet. That kicks off tomorrow. I took on another Phase I today for the manager from Chicago who trained me (he's f*cking awesome and he's damn good at people-managing, not just projects); he was also asking me to consider an additional portfolio being managed by someone out of St. Petersburg. I worked with this guy once before and I almost got thrown to the dogs on that one. So, I emailed the manager in St. Pete's, saying "...yeah, I'm available - after Halloween" when I know full well they need to close the portfolio by Halloween. That's how bad it's gotten - if I like these guys, I'll take on their projects. If not, they're SOL. I know I have to be careful with this behavior since it can potentially come back to bite me in the ass when we're slow and I'm starving for billable...but right now, I could care less. Chicago gets my help, St. Pete's doesn't.

I'm taking next Friday off for a wedding, so that'll be a nice mini-break, and I think I'm taking at least a half day the following Friday to escape to see friends in Maryland. Maybe that'll get me through the next two weeks.

[wordsmith]

I have realized that I DO need to have bosses, coworkers, etc. who care about me personally. It's not just a nice thing if you can get it...it's criteria, for me. A very closely knit workplace, paired with doing jobs that we are all highly personally dedicated and committed to...that kind of unity is a very important thing for me in terms of professional happiness.

It might sound overly ideal and pie in the sky. But the truth is, I've had that before, and know firsthand that it made all the difference in the world, in terms of quality of life. It means that I need to be very particular about where I work, though, which makes it hard to find a new position. It means that certain sectors are more obvious choices than others, and that, I think, is going to mean waiting probably a long time for the right thing.

But environments where that's not the case are not working out for me. I'm not thinking I want to settle for that.

[wordsmith]

I thought I just needed a vacation, but in a way that only made things worse. I have given up.


I completely and totally 100% agree wiht this, exactly.

There's no question at all that I need a vacation (the last one was in December), and I've been so beyond stressed that I can barely function. But, I think it will actually make things worse.

[blueyes]

My feelings exactly - a vacation is exactly and absolutely not what I need right now.

However, when I managed to get nearly the entire month of June off...yeah, that was nice. I've been hurting for vacation ever since, but it was a much-needed break.

[shimmer728]

I have realized that I DO need to have bosses, coworkers, etc. who care about me personally. It's not just a nice thing if you can get it...it's criteria, for me. A very closely knit workplace, paired with doing jobs that we are all highly personally dedicated and committed to...that kind of unity is a very important thing for me in terms of professional happiness.

It might sound overly ideal and pie in the sky. But the truth is, I've had that before, and know firsthand that it made all the difference in the world, in terms of quality of life. It means that I need to be very particular about where I work, though, which makes it hard to find a new position. It means that certain sectors are more obvious choices than others, and that, I think, is going to mean waiting probably a long time for the right thing.

But environments where that's not the case are not working out for me. I'm not thinking I want to settle for that.

See, I had this at my first job, and it was really nice. The trade-off was that everyone was all up in your business all the time.

[ebruening]

I've been experiencing apathy in certain aspects of my job for the last two weeks. 6 words sum it all up: I'm a teacher. There are parents. However, my colleagues and supervisors are wonderful people. Very, very supportive. It makes all the difference in the world.