Mad Dawg
10-14-2005, 03:48 PM
My buddy/neighbor works for an airline and is never home. When he is, it is usually only for a few short days before leaving again. We like to hang out when we have the opportunity, but the last few times he has been a complete dick! I understand his need to party on his off days, after all he is a pilot so when working he is in a high stress environment with a lot of lives depending on him. His being in town is usually a good excuse for me to cut loose a little as well (like I need an excuse). The last few times though he has been rude, obnoxious, arrogant and sometimes destructive. Two of the last three times we have hung out he has gotten us kicked out of a club. He has also recently taken to making some extremely racist and misogynistic comments. None of this behavior is in keeping with the rules of being a good human being let alone the rules of being a "good drunk," rules all of my friends and I usually adhere to. We have been hanging out for a long time, and only recently has he been acting the way.
Last night I was at my end. I thought I was going to punch him, which is also not in keeping with the rules. Not for anything he did to me, he knows better than that, but for the way he was acting to everyone around us... Cab drivers, bar tenders, waitresses, girls, etc. This morning I was still angry and thinking about writing him off as a friend. Another part of me wonders, since all of this is new behavior for him, if there is something seriously wrong or if something has happened to him recently to make him act this way. I know there has been even more stress with his job lately since his airline's parent company is cutting jobs to avoid bankruptcy. Plus they shut down Dallas as a hub, so now even though he lives here he has to commute to another city halfway across the country to not only go to work but be available for on-call.
I am just trying to decide if I should write this guy off or talk to him about it. Last time we hung out he acted this way, but I approached him about it when he was sober and he was sincerely apologetic and went about the process of apologizing to everyone who had been around him the night before. But then why would he go and act that way again? Seems to me that if you were truly embarassed you would make an effort to control yourself. Just wondering if anyone has a similar experience with a friend because this is the first time I have ever dealt with anyone like this who was very close to me.
Last night I was at my end. I thought I was going to punch him, which is also not in keeping with the rules. Not for anything he did to me, he knows better than that, but for the way he was acting to everyone around us... Cab drivers, bar tenders, waitresses, girls, etc. This morning I was still angry and thinking about writing him off as a friend. Another part of me wonders, since all of this is new behavior for him, if there is something seriously wrong or if something has happened to him recently to make him act this way. I know there has been even more stress with his job lately since his airline's parent company is cutting jobs to avoid bankruptcy. Plus they shut down Dallas as a hub, so now even though he lives here he has to commute to another city halfway across the country to not only go to work but be available for on-call.
I am just trying to decide if I should write this guy off or talk to him about it. Last time we hung out he acted this way, but I approached him about it when he was sober and he was sincerely apologetic and went about the process of apologizing to everyone who had been around him the night before. But then why would he go and act that way again? Seems to me that if you were truly embarassed you would make an effort to control yourself. Just wondering if anyone has a similar experience with a friend because this is the first time I have ever dealt with anyone like this who was very close to me.