Does anyone else go by themselves to bars/clubs?

[jwsthe3rd]

Hi! I was just wondering... How many of you go out to clubs or bars by yourself? I live far from the city, so when I go, I have to go there alone. When I was younger it used to not bother me much, but now that I am a little older, 24, I wish I had people to take with me. :(

I'm going out alone tonight. There will be some people there that I know, which is fortunate. There have been times when I have went, not knowing a soul that was there. It made me really sad, but I felt like I should be out and about, trying to meet people as friends or lovers. I guess I just don't have much confidence anymore. Like I said previously, I used to have high self-esteem and a lot of confidence. I was also 15 lbs. lighter than I am now, and fresh to the scene. I felt sexy, bold, and courageous. I was almost arrogant at times. But, it was a good thing because I would go out and dance right in the middle of the dancefloor by myself and guys would just start dancing with me, hot guys at that! I had lots of fun and wasn't so worried about meeting people because it just happened for me like magic most nights.

I wonder what happened to that part of me? I lost my mojo or something. I know it has something to do with me being in a past long-term relationship with someone who made me numb and feel less about myself. If only I could change the way I feel about myself, build my confidence back up, and stop worrying about making friends or finding someone to love, I think I would actually enjoy my time out to the clubs/bars. Anyways, enough said... I just wanted to see if anyone else faces these feelings like I do? Thanks!

XoXo -James

[ledzeppelinfan1]

Are you a girl or a guy? Just curious. Anyhow, don't worry so much about it. I actually prefer going out alone sometimes because it opens me up to meeting new people or chasing the girl I want. Sometimes, if I'm not with the right people, its easy to feel bad about mingling with others because my friend(s) may not be that good at branching out, causing me to feel awkward just leaving them to talk to someone else.

I guess I like going out alone because I feel like ANYTHING can happen, and often does... :cool:

[jwsthe3rd]

I'm a gay guy named James, as I signed James above... lol! :p

Sometimes I think the gay clubs are more brutal to go to alone, some of those guys out there are some real bitches!!!

Thanks for responding!!

[ledzeppelinfan1]

I'm a gay guy named James, as I signed James above... lol! :p

Sometimes I think the gay clubs are more brutal to go to alone, some of those guys out there are some real bitches!!!



LOL...I thought so, I was wonder if I was just confused.

"some of those guys out there are some real bitches"--Priceless. You rock.

[shimmer728]

jws, if I lived near you, I'd go clubbing with you! :) I love to go out dancing, and I really don't have anyone to go with. Luckily, my sister just turned 21, so we'll now be able to go out together.

[wordsmith]

I only reallly like to go someplace alone if it's laid back, hole in the wall type place. Some places are more friendly to the lone patron, other places you def. feel awkward if you're not there with at least one other person or a group. It's all in finding the right environment.

[lilyflower]

I'm a security freak. I don't go to bars unless I know that someone I know is going to be there or go with me. It's just not safe, IMO.

[yankeeyosh]

I tried in the past to go to bars alone, but I felt like a pathetic loser aftewards...but that was me.

[Cole]

Jamie... I'd go with you!

Generally only if there's live music I'm wanting to see, or if I think there's a really good chance I'll run into someone I know there. (Which hasn't been the case since I left Mpls.)

I spent last night and tonight home by myself. I seriously considered going to a bar alone tonight. But I think that would just make it worse.

[ledzeppelinfan1]

I definitely go alone, but usually don't leave alone. :cool:

But the next afternoon, I'm alone again. :neutral:

[Kitty]

No. I don't go to bars/clubs alone. I agree w/ what words said. I would only if the place had the right vibe. There's no way in hell I'd go to some trendy bar/club alone.

[wordsmith]

Hah! I don't go anywhere trendy, period, so that helps!

[steamroller]

There are some nights when I wish I were a man. Honestly, I would never go to a bar alone...unless I can borrow someone's balls for the night.

[wordsmith]

You all would find it much easier and less sketchy if you lived where I lived. It's hard to be intimidated or feel like a potential victim when you know everyone in a place by name.

[ledzeppelinfan1]

There are some nights when I wish I were a man. Honestly, I would never go to a bar alone...unless I can borrow someone's balls for the night.

You can borrow mine, but don't count on impressing anyone.

[lilyflower]

You all would find it much easier and less sketchy if you lived where I lived. It's hard to be intimidated or feel like a potential victim when you know everyone in a place by name.

Oh, exactly, Jess. I live in a major metro area - my going to a bar alone is NOT a good idea here.

[wordsmith]

Yeah... here it's like walking into somebody's basement rec room.

[Winter Storm]

I have only gone to bars and clubs alone if I were meeting someone. As a women whose been followed out to her car before (by a group of guys that not only tried to open my locked doors but tapped on the windsheild trying to get me to let them in), it just isn't safe.

At times, I wish I were a guy that could just sit at a bar and have a beer but it's not worth the harassment I'd receive unescorted.

[ledzeppelinfan1]

Man, being a woman is almost like being a celebrity.

[lilyflower]

I have only gone to bars and clubs alone if I were meeting someone. As a women whose been followed out to her car before (by a group of guys that not only tried to open my locked doors but tapped on the windsheild trying to get me to let them in), it just isn't safe.

At times, I wish I were a guy that could just sit at a bar and have a beer but it's not worth the harassment I'd receive unescorted.

:eek: That's exactly why I envy guys sometimes. They never have to worry a lot about walking alone at night or going to bars alone.

[shimmer728]

Yeah, I'm afraid to go to bars alone. MAYBE I'd consider going to one of the local bars alone (because most people there at least know of me), but there's no way I'd go out to a trendy club by myself. I would be nervous.

[wordsmith]

I wouldn't be nervous from a safety standpoint (but then, I rarely am). I'd be nervous from a "what am I gonna do...lean against a wall and literally be a wallflower" standpoint. I can't think why you'd WANT to go to a trendy club by yourself. But I'm not outgoing at all in large groups, so, no, that doesn't appeal to me at all.

[jwsthe3rd]

Well, I went to the club and had a fabulous time!! Haha! Of course, some people I knew were there. So that helped a lot. But, as I have said before, I have went alone to clubs before alone. Basically, I would just get a few drinks in me, then start walking around and checking out the scene until I was comfortable enough to dance. Then I would dance by myself, in the middle of the dancefloor, and sometimes I would get the attention of guys, who would accidentally bump into me so I would notice them. LOL! Then there have been other times when I have went and just stood there, watching everyone have fun, and left feeling empty inside. So, I guess it just depends on the night, and the mood I am in once I arrive.

Lastnight was an odd night though. Someone tapped me on the shoulder as I was dancing, and it was this cutie that I had went on a date with 3 years ago!! He was like "Hey, remember me?", and I said, yes I do! So we talked for awhile, and he seemed sort of interested again, but he lives a couple hours away from me, so I dunno if that would work out or not. Then, this other guy called out to me later in the evening and asked me how my job at CVS was going! I didn't know who the hell he was, but he was cute! He knew me through his cousin, and he lives right here in my hometown! So, I got his number and we talked on the phone today for almost 2 hours. Seems like dating material to me!! So we will see how this goes... at least I could finally date someone in town! :D

Thanks for the comments guys!

-James

[ledzeppelinfan1]

Glad you had fun!!!

[shimmer728]

Way to go!