kitalyn414
10-18-2005, 01:04 PM
hello everyone!
i haven't been on in quite some time, but thought i'd pop in to say hello and give a general update on things. (i'm of course assuming that there are those of you out there who are interested!) paiger tracked me down a few weeks ago, and since then i have been thinking about qlc and why i stopped posting.
i concluded that, for all intensive purposes, my qlc is over. i feel really weird saying that because i am currently unemployed and have zero idea where to go next, BUT the anxiety about that unknown is pretty much gone... and therefore so is my qlc.
i left my first "real" job for another job within the company about 2 months ago. when i was offered the other job (after a 5 month trek through the mess of HR) i wasn't exactly thrilled about it. i told my recruiter that i felt like it wasn't going to be creative enough, but she assured me that there was a creative aspect and that there was lots of room for growth. then they offered me a raise and a promotion in title, so i felt like i needed to take it. 3 weeks in i realized i had made a major mistake. the job was essentially the same as my old job except i was working for someone who was EXTREMELY boring and the department was comprised of the 2 of us. not only was a bored, i was lonely.
SO... with the assurance from my bf that we would be ok financially if i quit (and with him urging me to do so, saying my happiness is the most important thing to him), i put in my 2 weeks notice and was done. best. decision. ever.
i think i'm going on my 3rd week of unemployment. g just bought a house, so i have been getting that together, and we got a dog last week... so i've been doing dog stuff too. to be honest, i haven't thought much about where i should look for work next. i went on an interview last week that went really well, though i didn't get the job. this past weekend i volunteered at an event for a non-profit women's organization that my friend works at. they have an opening coming up in january that i have my eye on.
i'll conclude the 4th grade book report and move onto some analysis now.
i was thinking about how we used to have these threads where ppl would argue whether or not you need a significant other. i think i always rode the fence about this issue, and i have concluded that i NEEDED g to come into my life. fuck the codependent, psycho-babble bullshit. g filled in all the holes that i didn't even REALLY know were there. he gave me everything i needed - stability, decisiveness, support... and a home base. i feel so much happier now, and i think it all has to do with having a place where i know i am safe. i am living the life of a spoiled brat at the moment, but there is never a moment where i am ungrateful for what i have been given. g gave me the opportunity and permission to truly find myself, and i owe him everything for that.
another major issue i really struggled with was the whole "you just know" thing concerning marriage and soulmates or whatever. i'm pretty sure i have sorted this out. i think saying "you just know" is really too simple. prior to this relationship i really believed that there would always be an element of doubt in terms of choosing someone to spend the rest of my life with. i want to let anyone who is feeling that way that you don't have to settle for uncertainty.
i'm not saying that everything is perfect. we are 2 messed up people, but our issues have really softened by being together and we just fit. there is no one else out there who could offer me what he does... period. so, at this point we plan on getting married, but there is zero rush to do so. i'm sure a time will come when it seems more appropriate, but i think that will be once we are totally settled and comfortable in our house and the other aspects of our lives.
on some other issues - my dad's 2nd try at sobriety seems to be going well, and i have been able to get through my brief (and unsuccessful... lol) forray into the world of eating disorders. this is not to say that i don't have a totally unhealthy relationship with food, but i haven't had my head in a toilet since april. (how delicate of me... eh? :p )
anyway... i just wanted to say, "hello!" and that i do think about you guys from time to time. it is ovewhelming to think about trying to keep up on posting and what not, but i hope to be around more.
p.s. i am pretty bummed i missed all the baby excitement. heather & mid will have to direct me to the threads with all the details! hope everything went smoothly.
p.p.s. what else did i miss!?! ;)
i haven't been on in quite some time, but thought i'd pop in to say hello and give a general update on things. (i'm of course assuming that there are those of you out there who are interested!) paiger tracked me down a few weeks ago, and since then i have been thinking about qlc and why i stopped posting.
i concluded that, for all intensive purposes, my qlc is over. i feel really weird saying that because i am currently unemployed and have zero idea where to go next, BUT the anxiety about that unknown is pretty much gone... and therefore so is my qlc.
i left my first "real" job for another job within the company about 2 months ago. when i was offered the other job (after a 5 month trek through the mess of HR) i wasn't exactly thrilled about it. i told my recruiter that i felt like it wasn't going to be creative enough, but she assured me that there was a creative aspect and that there was lots of room for growth. then they offered me a raise and a promotion in title, so i felt like i needed to take it. 3 weeks in i realized i had made a major mistake. the job was essentially the same as my old job except i was working for someone who was EXTREMELY boring and the department was comprised of the 2 of us. not only was a bored, i was lonely.
SO... with the assurance from my bf that we would be ok financially if i quit (and with him urging me to do so, saying my happiness is the most important thing to him), i put in my 2 weeks notice and was done. best. decision. ever.
i think i'm going on my 3rd week of unemployment. g just bought a house, so i have been getting that together, and we got a dog last week... so i've been doing dog stuff too. to be honest, i haven't thought much about where i should look for work next. i went on an interview last week that went really well, though i didn't get the job. this past weekend i volunteered at an event for a non-profit women's organization that my friend works at. they have an opening coming up in january that i have my eye on.
i'll conclude the 4th grade book report and move onto some analysis now.
i was thinking about how we used to have these threads where ppl would argue whether or not you need a significant other. i think i always rode the fence about this issue, and i have concluded that i NEEDED g to come into my life. fuck the codependent, psycho-babble bullshit. g filled in all the holes that i didn't even REALLY know were there. he gave me everything i needed - stability, decisiveness, support... and a home base. i feel so much happier now, and i think it all has to do with having a place where i know i am safe. i am living the life of a spoiled brat at the moment, but there is never a moment where i am ungrateful for what i have been given. g gave me the opportunity and permission to truly find myself, and i owe him everything for that.
another major issue i really struggled with was the whole "you just know" thing concerning marriage and soulmates or whatever. i'm pretty sure i have sorted this out. i think saying "you just know" is really too simple. prior to this relationship i really believed that there would always be an element of doubt in terms of choosing someone to spend the rest of my life with. i want to let anyone who is feeling that way that you don't have to settle for uncertainty.
i'm not saying that everything is perfect. we are 2 messed up people, but our issues have really softened by being together and we just fit. there is no one else out there who could offer me what he does... period. so, at this point we plan on getting married, but there is zero rush to do so. i'm sure a time will come when it seems more appropriate, but i think that will be once we are totally settled and comfortable in our house and the other aspects of our lives.
on some other issues - my dad's 2nd try at sobriety seems to be going well, and i have been able to get through my brief (and unsuccessful... lol) forray into the world of eating disorders. this is not to say that i don't have a totally unhealthy relationship with food, but i haven't had my head in a toilet since april. (how delicate of me... eh? :p )
anyway... i just wanted to say, "hello!" and that i do think about you guys from time to time. it is ovewhelming to think about trying to keep up on posting and what not, but i hope to be around more.
p.s. i am pretty bummed i missed all the baby excitement. heather & mid will have to direct me to the threads with all the details! hope everything went smoothly.
p.p.s. what else did i miss!?! ;)