hopeless
10-19-2005, 01:55 PM
I'm up to the point where my mom is driving me absolutely insane!! When she looks at the newspapers she'll look for job ads that might suit me, saying the same nasty comments like she always does. At first I was able to ignore them, but now I can't, saying things to me that I must be a retard, stupid, born with bad luck. Then she tells me she imagines me working in the hospitality field like being in posh ritzy hotels as a manager or something. I freakin don't see myself doing that reminds me of the job I use to have being a nurse aide which I hated & glad I quit. I quickly get out of the house and to get her fuckin comments out of my system I made it a ritual to walk around a park nearby for a good half hr. which at times makes me feel better. Next month I'm taking classes at the training school in medical billing/coding to get certification. It'll only take 7 months, I got financial aid, though I'm gonna hate it when it comes to repaying, felt like I signed my soul to the devil. My mom said she'll support me with that, but I don't ever believe what she tells me anymore. She doesn't think before she says a comment. I mean she tells me she's sorry, but too fuckin late to take it back. Then she tells once I get certified it won't guarantee me getting a job, but it'll a risk I'm willing to take & it's the biggest risk I've ever done.