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View Full Version : Does having a 2nd "girlfriend" ....

and1grad
10-28-2005, 02:53 PM
...automatically make me a bad person? Does it depend on the situation? Area codes? Zip codes? Have any of you been "the other woman?" Would it depend on the situation (i.e. you just KNOW she aint the one for him b/c you are)?

Fellas, have you been presented with this situation (of knowing someone who is willing to be "the other woman")? What did you do and did you regret it? What WOULD you do?

Also, would any of you "tattle" on the guy? :evil: :lol:

Winter, do not send me hatemail.
paiger81
10-28-2005, 02:57 PM
I say dump girl #1. Sorry, but knowing one part of the situation, and knowing there is a "possible dealbreaker" is another sitation with her, I say move on.

And I hate the concept of another woman while with someone else.

Bad, bad, AND1!
winneythepooh7
10-28-2005, 02:59 PM
Well I am in NY and you are in CA so I won't tell if you don't...........seriously though, I don't think this can ever be a good situation. You unfortunately need to decide and then cease contact with that person.
MetFanL
10-28-2005, 03:01 PM
I've been the other woman, but I had no expectations so there wasn't too much emotion involved.

However, I have to say, that GF #2 only exists b/c you must not be satisfied w/ GF #1... you have a choice to make, I guess, b/c having two GFs just means, to me, that something isn't right for you... if it was, you wouldn't be looking around, ya know?

This is the situation I regularly find myself in, but I don't let it progress to the point where I would consider either of them my BF. I make the decision before it gets to that point and cut one (or both) loose.
tina1979
10-28-2005, 03:03 PM
I have to agree with Paige.

I don't know your situation exactly, but things like that tend to come back and bite you in the ass one way or another
cheshrcarol
10-28-2005, 03:04 PM
Does having a 2nd girlfriend automatically make me a bad person? YES. Does it depend on the situation?NO.

The ONLY way it's okay is if both girls are aware of the situation and cool with it.
and1grad
10-28-2005, 03:06 PM
However, I have to say, that GF #2 only exists b/c you must not be satisfied w/ GF #1... you have a choice to make, I guess, b/c having two GFs just means, to me, that something isn't right for you... if it was, you wouldn't be looking around, ya know?

This is the situation I regularly find myself in, but I don't let it progress to the point where I would consider either of them my BF. I make the decision before it gets to that point and cut one (or both) loose.
Very true. What if I'm not really the one who considers either a GF, per se?
Winter Storm
10-28-2005, 03:06 PM
...automatically make me a bad person? Does it depend on the situation? Area codes? Zip codes? Have any of you been "the other woman?" Would it depend on the situation (i.e. you just KNOW she aint the one for him b/c you are)?

Fellas, have you been presented with this situation (of knowing someone who is willing to be "the other woman")? What did you do and did you regret it? What WOULD you do?

Also, would any of you "tattle" on the guy? :evil: :lol:

Winter, do not send me hatemail.

Having a 2nd girlfriend without the first one knowing, yes automatically makes you a sorry peice of shit. I don't give a damn if she's in another area code, zip code, time zone or dimension. If you feel that you have met someone else that may be better for you, be open and honest with your current beau, let her go, then explore. Then she could not hate you for being honest with her. That is what I did, when I was in the same situation.

And and1, I could send you spiteful, hate mail, but I'm actually touched that you remember my situation.

And this aint like leaving no note after scratching somebody's car, DO THE RIGHT THING! :mad: :)
and1grad
10-28-2005, 03:07 PM
The ONLY way it's okay is if both girls are aware of the situation and cool with it.
What if they arent BOTH necessarily "cool with it?"
meatwad
10-28-2005, 03:09 PM
I don't see a problem with going out with more than one girl, but once you have a girlfriend, I think you should stick to just her.
Winter Storm
10-28-2005, 03:09 PM
Very true. What if I'm not really the one who considers either a GF, per se?

You need to make it clear that you are not committed to any of them. That you are only casually dating, that way, you can do what you want. It's not hard, all the guys do it over here on the east coast.
cheshrcarol
10-28-2005, 03:10 PM
What if they arent BOTH necessarily "cool with it?"
Then you need to dump both and find ONE girl you want to be with enough to be satisfied with her being the only one.
Winter Storm
10-28-2005, 03:10 PM
What if they arent BOTH necessarily "cool with it?"

Then don't get involved with either. If you want your freedom to see who you want, tell them. If they don't agree, then that's the end of it.
tina1979
10-28-2005, 03:11 PM
You need to make it clear that you are not committed to any of them. That you are only casually dating, that way, you can do what you want. It's not hard, all the guys do it over here on the east coast.
Yep. Guys are good at it in the south too!
and1grad
10-28-2005, 03:13 PM
And this aint like leaving no note after scratching somebody's car, DO THE RIGHT THING! :mad: :)
LOL! I remembered that but forgot about the note thing, Spike Lee.
XXdemerXX
10-28-2005, 03:21 PM
Very true. What if I'm not really the one who considers either a GF, per se?

hey brutha i agree with winterstorm. just make it clear you wanna be fuk buddys & if shes not kool with it then oh well. i told my wife that when we first hooked up & we kept it like that before i committed myself to her a few months down the road. she knew i wasnt ready for a relationship

that way you wouldnt have to tell them about each other & itll all be good on your part. & if they do run into each other they cant get mad & say that you havent been faithful or none of that crap :cool:
XXdemerXX
10-28-2005, 03:24 PM
Yep. Guys are good at it in the south too!

i can vouch for that. i from the deep dirty south & thats exactly how i liked it when i was single. it was awesome :cool:
tina1979
10-28-2005, 03:26 PM
i can vouch for that. i from the deep dirty south & thats exactly how i liked it when i was single. it was awesome :cool:
where are you from?
XXdemerXX
10-28-2005, 03:35 PM
im in san antonio
paiger81
10-28-2005, 03:36 PM
im in san antonio

We are not South, we are TEXAS.
tina1979
10-28-2005, 03:36 PM
im in san antonio
sorry! I saw that up there.. i'm still medicine heady :(
Winter Storm
10-28-2005, 03:38 PM
We are not South, we are TEXAS.

LOL. That makes me think what exactly constitutes The South. Because technically Maryland is considered south, but NOBODY here agrees with that.
XXdemerXX
10-28-2005, 03:38 PM
We are not South, we are TEXAS.

of course where south & im proud of it
XXdemerXX
10-28-2005, 03:40 PM
of course we dont agree with it. go check a history book & itll say that your a yankee & im a confederate. if you were south youd be a confederate but you aint.



LOL. That makes me think what exactly constitutes The South. Because technically Maryland is considered south, but NOBODY here agrees with that.
shimmer728
10-28-2005, 03:41 PM
Well, and1, if neither girl is technically a gee-eff, then there's really no problem.....as long as THEY BOTH KNOW there's no relationship. You just have to be honest. And if you are in a relationship with one of them, and you have stronger feelings for another girl, then cut the first one loose.
paiger81
10-28-2005, 03:45 PM
of course where south & im proud of it


We will agree to disagree, I've never considered myself a Southerner. I am a Texan.
SmilesSoSweet
10-28-2005, 03:46 PM
However, I have to say, that GF #2 only exists b/c you must not be satisfied w/ GF #1... you have a choice to make, I guess, b/c having two GFs just means, to me, that something isn't right for you... if it was, you wouldn't be looking around, ya know?

I've been the other woman a couple of times. The last time being with a guy that said he was having problems with his current gf. And feelings did get involved between the both of us - not just me or not just him. That was on-going for almost a year. Then his gf got pregnant, and obviously that was just one clue I needed to leave. (I shouldn't have waited for that to happen to leave him.) Anyway, about a month ago we talked online and he had the nerve to ask why things didn't work out between us? WTF?!!?!?! That guy has issues. And of course I had issues at the time, too. But I'm not ever going back to that type of situation again.
XXdemerXX
10-28-2005, 03:48 PM
We will agree to disagree, I've never considered myself a Southerner. I am a Texan.

its ok if you want to deny bein a southerner in a south state. but i know you are & thats all that matters ahahaha
Winter Storm
10-28-2005, 04:08 PM
of course we dont agree with it. go check a history book & itll say that your a yankee & im a confederate. if you were south youd be a confederate but you aint.

Maryland is a union state but some consider us the south because we are south of the original Mason-Dixie. Nevertheless, we are not southerners.
WeirdBrake
10-28-2005, 04:10 PM
Maryland is a union state but some consider us the south because we are south of the original Mason-Dixie. Nevertheless, we are not southerners.

*sigh of relief* :twisted:
XXdemerXX
10-28-2005, 04:31 PM
Maryland is a union state but some consider us the south because we are south of the original Mason-Dixie. Nevertheless, we are not southerners.

that makes sense now. your just south of somethin.

say so do you know Peter Griffin? hes a good friend of mine. he lives in Quahog. Ever heard of it?
lawya girl
10-28-2005, 04:54 PM
You're too good to have a second girlfriend And1. Bad, Bad!!!!

And Maryland is NOT the South. ;)
wordsmith
10-28-2005, 05:41 PM
Dating more than one person at once if all parties are aware that things aren't exclusive is cool.

Having two girlfriends is not, period. "Girlfriend" does not imply casual and open dating. "Girlfriend" implies a committed relationship. Not even sort of cool. Not at all.
bridgetjones
10-28-2005, 08:25 PM
Well I would write off a guy that would even try to have a FWB while having a GF. Sorry I should do soo.... NEvermind.

Whateve. My rationale is that if he is willing to do it to his GF, he is willing to do it to you in future. At least the possibility is there and it makes him not trustworthy IMO. Just a thought...

As for dating two ppl at once that is fine provided the person knows you are not exclusive.
steamroller
10-28-2005, 08:31 PM
Wait, is this SEX with two different people? Seeing two different people is okay in my book (though I don't personally do it, because it's just a little too deceitful and confusing to me)...but banging two people? Well, that's just wrong...AND gross.
bridgetjones
10-28-2005, 09:05 PM
I know a guy with 3 lovers. THey know it is not exclusive. It is abit gross in my book too. Ok I am not the only prude who thinks having sex with more than one person is gross and abit dangerous.

Hmm... Why do I think about that guy? Hmmm... :confused:
and1grad
10-28-2005, 11:26 PM
I really dont buy that "once a cheater, always a cheater" kind of mentality. I think its just female propaganda that men occasionally agree with to look good in front of women.

Honestly, unprotected sex IS dangerous no matter how many partners you have. I'm never gonna be in the sitch mentioned earlier w/an unplanned pregnancy or other such consequence. THATS asking for trouble.