spinoff of the spinoff be thankful for even the not so good things..

[live it]

Be Thankful

Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire,
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don't know something
For it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge
Because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes
They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you're tired and weary
Because it means you've made a difference.

It is easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are
also thankful for the setbacks.

GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles
and they can become your blessings.
~ Author Unknown ~

[winneythepooh7]

Very true.

[WeirdBrake]

OK, not to be contrarian, but this post is sorta askin' for it.... :twisted:

"Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire,
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?"

I say: Part of my desires include having something to look forward to, so having all of my desires met wouldn't necessarily exclude having stuff to look forward to. In fact, in my case, the former would logically entail the latter.

"Be thankful when you don't know something
For it gives you the opportunity to learn."

I say: What's so great about learning? We like to romanticize learning, but I think we mainly do that to make life seem a little sweeter-- because there's so MUCH learning in life that we may as well try to enjoy it a little. But I don't think there's anything inherently great about learning. Its value is purely pragmatic; there are certain things we gotta know. But, all things being equal, it would be way cooler to know everything. Finally, on this note, I dare anyone to suggest that not knowing enough to pass a certain July 2005 test was a good thing. :twisted:

"Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow."

I say: Not necessarily. This is another cutesy little saying we tell ourselves to make ourselves feel better. But lots of difficult times don't "aid growth." Child sexual abuse most definitely falls under the category of "difficult times." I doubt it has any value besides being traumatic and horrible. And there are lots of other examples. Let's face reality, folks; there are lots of bad experiences that have no redeeming value whatsoever.

"Be thankful for your limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement."

I say: Now this seems like a flat-out contradiction. It implies that limitations are good things because they give you the opportunity to improve. Well, doesn't "improve" suggest overcoming your limitations? If so, why the hell would you be thankful for something you then want to overcome? Isn't that like saying "I'm thankful for being sick because it gives me the opportunity to get better?" I can't even follow the twisted logic here.

"Be thankful for each new challenge
Because it will build your strength and character."

I say: Baloney! Being smacked around by your caretakers as a kid is a "challenge." And many times, it doesn't build strength and character but only hardens people into abusive scumbags themselves. I'd hardly describe any experience that can contribute to certain people turning into abusive scumbags as "character-building." So this is just flat-out incorrect.

"Be thankful for your mistakes
They will teach you valuable lessons."

I say: The value of a lesson is simply not to make the same mistake again. But, all things being equal, wouldn't it be better not to have made the mistake in the first place?

"Be thankful when you're tired and weary
Because it means you've made a difference."

I say: Not necessarily. Sometimes it means you have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.

"It is easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are
also thankful for the setbacks."

I say: Kiss my ass!

"GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles
and they can become your blessings."

I say: Kiss my ass again! And be thankful I'm making you kiss it, for it'll give you a greater appreciation for when you kiss other, more delightful, things.

[Cole]

WB why you always gotta rip these things apart? It's not necessary to shoot ppl down like that.


"Be thankful when you don't know something
For it gives you the opportunity to learn."

I say: What's so great about learning? We like to romanticize learning, but I think we mainly do that to make life seem a little sweeter-- because there's so MUCH learning in life that we may as well try to enjoy it a little. But I don't think there's anything inherently great about learning. Its value is purely pragmatic; there are certain things we gotta know. But, all things being equal, it would be way cooler to know everything. Finally, on this note, I dare anyone to suggest that not knowing enough to pass a certain July 2005 test was a good thing. :twisted: .

I intrinsically enjoy learning. I really do. And yes we all know you didn't pass the bar. I'm sorry. That sucks. It's not a good thing. But it would be a worse thing if every person that took the bar passed it and there were no standards for lawyers. And it's not like you aren't learning anything from the experience. I bet you're studying your ass off, reviewing the parts that you didn't know so well, and you will be a better and more knowledgable lawyer when you do finally pass it.


"Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow."

I say: Not necessarily. This is another cutesy little saying we tell ourselves to make ourselves feel better. But lots of difficult times don't "aid growth." Child sexual abuse most definitely falls under the category of "difficult times." I doubt it has any value besides being traumatic and horrible. And there are lots of other examples. Let's face reality, folks; there are lots of bad experiences that have no redeeming value whatsoever.

Gonna disagree with you again. (Disagreeing with you isn't grounds for getting banned, is it?) I think every experience can be redeeming for people if they choose for it to be. I have a couple of very close friends who went through being abused as children. While I'm sure they wouldn't say that it was a good thing, it has very dramatically shaped who they are and what they have chosen to do with their lives (become healers and help others.) Had that not happened to them they may not have been pushed in the direction of pursuing such selfless and meaningful work. So no I am not saying any kind of abuse is a good thing. But I am saying there's always something to draw from even the worst experiences. They don't always, but CAN be the impetus for people to make major changes that CAN be positive in their lives.


"Be thankful for your limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement."

I say: Now this seems like a flat-out contradiction. It implies that limitations are good things because they give you the opportunity to improve. Well, doesn't "improve" suggest overcoming your limitations? If so, why the hell would you be thankful for something you then want to overcome? Isn't that like saying "I'm thankful for being sick because it gives me the opportunity to get better?" I can't even follow the twisted logic here..

um, 'cuz if you didn't have any limitations, then you would have no reason to ever try to grow or improve. There's no twist to the logic. Life would be pretty boring and pointless if we could all do everything we want with no struggle. There would be no meaning to any of it. And no differentiation between any of us. I'm glad for my limitations and I'm glad for yours. That's what makes us different - that we all have our own strengths and weaknesses. The point of this is also to say that limitations can be overcome, and not to see them as absolutes.

I mean, it's going to be that much BIGGER a deal for you when you pass the bar next go around. It's going to have more meaning because you worked more, had to study harder, and because it wasn't easy for you to do. If anyone could pass the bar with no struggle, it wouldn't have any meaning or significance, now, would it?


"Be thankful for each new challenge
Because it will build your strength and character."

I say: Baloney! Being smacked around by your caretakers as a kid is a "challenge." And many times, it doesn't build strength and character but only hardens people into abusive scumbags themselves. I'd hardly describe any experience that can contribute to certain people turning into abusive scumbags as "character-building." So this is just flat-out incorrect.

Okay, first off, I don't think this nice little poem is meant to apply to EVERY situation. Why do you have to take it to the dramatic end? It's not "flat-out incorrect" it just doesn't apply to the worst of circumstances. And not every kid that is abused turns into an "abusive scumbag" themselves. As I mentioned before I know several people who have been phoenixs rising out of the ashes of their childhood abuses. (and no, again, I'm not saying abuse is a good thing in any way.) But, occasionally, people can be pushed toward making incredibly positive choices in their lives out of trauma that they have experienced.


"Be thankful for your mistakes
They will teach you valuable lessons."

I say: The value of a lesson is simply not to make the same mistake again. But, all things being equal, wouldn't it be better not to have made the mistake in the first place?

Sure. But we're not all perfect. Besides, if nobody made mistakes, there'd be no point in lawyers, now, would there? So you should be thankful at the very least for other peoples' mistakes.

Really, your statement is a moot point. Because we all make mistakes. Sure it'd be better to not have made the mistake. But if you're going to make one, it's better to learn something from it than not.


"GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles
and they can become your blessings."

I say: Kiss my ass again! And be thankful I'm making you kiss it, for it'll give you a greater appreciation for when you kiss other, more delightful, things.

Wow. Way to discourage people from encouraging one another.

WB, I realize that you did this mostly in satire. And I don't want this message board to fill up with cheesy feel-good messages either. I see that you like demonstrating your ability to de-construct other peoples' arguments, as you've done so several times recently. You'll probably make a great lawyer someday in the not-too-distant future because of that talent.

But I don't understand why you feel the need to rip into things like this. I think this post is a good one - yeah, it'd be nice to not HAVE to learn, not have obstacles and limitations and mistakes to overcome. But those things are going to happen - so the point is to make the best of it.

You're doing so - after not passing the bar you could've given up on law. But instead your taking it as impetus and opportunity to learn more, work with a mentor, and become even more knowledgable about law. I'm not saying you should be thankful for not passing it. But I am saying it's not as if nothing good is coming out of it. Someday you may even find that you learned something really useful in this process that you wouldn't otherwise have.

[J-girl]

Cole- my take on life is the same as yours.

[dazed]

Cole- my take on life is the same as yours.

i second that.

[lawya girl]

OK, not to be contrarian, but this post is sorta askin' for it.... :twisted:

"Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire,
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?"

I say: Part of my desires include having something to look forward to, so having all of my desires met wouldn't necessarily exclude having stuff to look forward to. In fact, in my case, the former would logically entail the latter.

"Be thankful when you don't know something
For it gives you the opportunity to learn."

I say: What's so great about learning? We like to romanticize learning, but I think we mainly do that to make life seem a little sweeter-- because there's so MUCH learning in life that we may as well try to enjoy it a little. But I don't think there's anything inherently great about learning. Its value is purely pragmatic; there are certain things we gotta know. But, all things being equal, it would be way cooler to know everything. Finally, on this note, I dare anyone to suggest that not knowing enough to pass a certain July 2005 test was a good thing. :twisted:

"Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow."

I say: Not necessarily. This is another cutesy little saying we tell ourselves to make ourselves feel better. But lots of difficult times don't "aid growth." Child sexual abuse most definitely falls under the category of "difficult times." I doubt it has any value besides being traumatic and horrible. And there are lots of other examples. Let's face reality, folks; there are lots of bad experiences that have no redeeming value whatsoever.

"Be thankful for your limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement."

I say: Now this seems like a flat-out contradiction. It implies that limitations are good things because they give you the opportunity to improve. Well, doesn't "improve" suggest overcoming your limitations? If so, why the hell would you be thankful for something you then want to overcome? Isn't that like saying "I'm thankful for being sick because it gives me the opportunity to get better?" I can't even follow the twisted logic here.

"Be thankful for each new challenge
Because it will build your strength and character."

I say: Baloney! Being smacked around by your caretakers as a kid is a "challenge." And many times, it doesn't build strength and character but only hardens people into abusive scumbags themselves. I'd hardly describe any experience that can contribute to certain people turning into abusive scumbags as "character-building." So this is just flat-out incorrect.

"Be thankful for your mistakes
They will teach you valuable lessons."

I say: The value of a lesson is simply not to make the same mistake again. But, all things being equal, wouldn't it be better not to have made the mistake in the first place?

"Be thankful when you're tired and weary
Because it means you've made a difference."

I say: Not necessarily. Sometimes it means you have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.

"It is easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are
also thankful for the setbacks."

I say: Kiss my ass!

"GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles
and they can become your blessings."

I say: Kiss my ass again! And be thankful I'm making you kiss it, for it'll give you a greater appreciation for when you kiss other, more delightful, things.

I was rolling on the floor when I read this. I love ya, WB. ;) When I read the "tired and weary" part my exact thought was "no - it's because I have an autoimmune disorder." ROFLMAO

[WeirdBrake]

(Disagreeing with you isn't grounds for getting banned, is it?)

No, Cole, but in your case, it's grounds for being shown just how wrong you are on everything you've said.

WB why you always gotta rip these things apart?

Because I hate heartwarming New Age touchy feely cliches with no logic behind them. Always have, always will, and I'm going to express that. You've seen me be very supportive and encouraging to people on here. But that support and encouragement is based on truth, not nonsense.

And yes we all know you didn't pass the bar. I'm sorry. That sucks. It's not a good thing. But it would be a worse thing if every person that took the bar passed it and there were no standards for lawyers. And it's not like you aren't learning anything from the experience. I bet you're studying your ass off, reviewing the parts that you didn't know so well, and you will be a better and more knowledgable lawyer when you do finally pass it.

You think the bar exam actually creates standards for lawyers??!! Most lawyers would have a good laugh over that one. The bar exam is about memorizing rules and vomiting them back on the test, which is a totally worthless skill to have in legal practice because attorneys are always allowed to look up the law (in fact, it could be malpractice if you harmed a client's case because you DIDN'T look up the law). Additionally, the exam writing you do on the bar exam is not at all the writing you do as an attorney. I would know because every law student takes a course on legal writing in which you learn how to argue a point of law to a judge. I did well in this course, and I can tell you it's a totally different form of writing. Thus, bar exam writing skills are also inapplicable to the profession.

So how exactly does the bar exam create any standards for the profession? At best, it delays people's entrance into the profession unnecessarily while they re-study for this test, correct their mistakes, pass it again, and all at their own expense. But you'd be laughed at if you said something as wrong as "studying for the bar exam makes you a better and more knowledgeable lawyer." Even the law professors would laugh at you if you said that. A significant portion of the law tested on the bar isn't even the law in any jurisdiction (it's "common law"-- meaning it used to be the law in certain places a long time ago). And the rest is forgotten soon after you pass, just like with any other exam.

Finally, the law is always changing in every jurisdiction, and new appellate cases (which create binding precedents for the trial courts about how laws are to be interpreted) are always being decided. Hence the necessity of looking up the law when you're a practicing lawyer. So, again, you are completely and totally wrong in saying that the bar exam has anything whatsoever to do with being a better and more knowledgeable lawyer. Why would you, who has no experience whatsoever in these matters, possibly argue about something like this with me?

Life would be pretty boring and pointless if we could all do everything we want with no struggle. There would be no meaning to any of it. And no differentiation between any of us. I'm glad for my limitations and I'm glad for yours. That's what makes us different - that we all have our own strengths and weaknesses. The point of this is also to say that limitations can be overcome, and not to see them as absolutes.

You're so completely wrong again (by the way, I wouldn't be so harsh on you if you didn't get into it with me about the bar exam; that was a very poor choice on your part; you could have totally shot down everything I said, and if you had only stayed away from the touchy subject of the bar exam, I'd be much gentler in my counter-arguments). "Boring" is something negative. In a world where we got everything we wanted, then by definition, there would not be anything negative, including boredom. What you said is wrong as a matter of logic.

I know you want to put a happy spin on all the struggles and hardship in the world. That's natural. But the jury ain't buyin' it today.

I mean, it's going to be that much BIGGER a deal for you when you pass the bar next go around. It's going to have more meaning because you worked more, had to study harder, and because it wasn't easy for you to do. If anyone could pass the bar with no struggle, it wouldn't have any meaning or significance, now, would it?

Again, why would you insist on arguing over things about which you know nothing and have absolutely no experience or knowledge? Don't you see how, in this situation especially, it's a recipe for you to be taken down a notch? While in more forgiving times I might appreciate your positive spin on me failing the bar the first time, I can assure you there is nothing positive about it. It's costing me more money and a hell of a lot of pain and aggravation. And not just for me but also for those who are close to me. So I don't appreciate you acting like it's some sort of noble, character-building struggle. It's completely pointless-- especially after having been through the LSAT and law school (two things you also know nothing about).

I know you're the wind, baby, but to me this is just a lot of hot air.

And not every kid that is abused turns into an "abusive scumbag" themselves.

I never said EVERY kid that is abused turns into an abusive scumbag himself. Please pay attention to what I'm actually saying. Good reading comprehension skills go a long way to avoiding misunderstandings.

Sure. But we're not all perfect. Besides, if nobody made mistakes, there'd be no point in lawyers, now, would there? So you should be thankful at the very least for other peoples' mistakes.

LOL!!!! I love this!! I'm not even going to bother responding to this one. Let it never be said that I don't have a sense of humor.

Wow. Way to discourage people from encouraging one another.

Again, I like to encourage people with truth, not touchy feely New Age nonsense.

WB, I realize that you did this mostly in satire.

Coulda fooled me.

And I don't want this message board to fill up with cheesy feel-good messages either.

Coulda fooled me.

You're doing so - after not passing the bar you could've given up on law. But instead your taking it as impetus and opportunity to learn more, work with a mentor, and become even more knowledgable about law. I'm not saying you should be thankful for not passing it. But I am saying it's not as if nothing good is coming out of it. Someday you may even find that you learned something really useful in this process that you wouldn't otherwise have.

You know, the sad part is I really do think you had noble intentions in this post of yours. But you really should not have started in about the bar exam. File this one under lessons learned.

[WeirdBrake]

I was rolling on the floor when I read this. I love ya, WB. ;) When I read the "tired and weary" part my exact thought was "no - it's because I have an autoimmune disorder." ROFLMAO

At least someone appreciates me! :) ;) Thanks, Keri.

[lawya girl]

At least someone appreciates me! :) ;) Thanks, Keri.

And BTW, everything you said about the bar exam is true. The bar exam in NO WAY makes you a better lawyer.

[chickenlil]

GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles
and they can become your blessings.

Please... if only it was this simple!

[WeirdBrake]

And BTW, everything you said about the bar exam is true. The bar exam in NO WAY makes you a better lawyer.

See, Cole? Straight from the mouth of someone who passed 2 bar exams on her first try.

[lawya girl]

I should say, though, that I do appreciate the OP's effort to keep us all in a positive frame of mind.

[WeirdBrake]

Me, too. Satirical deconstruction notwithstanding. ;) LiveIt... don't confuse my response to your post with my response to Cole's.

[tdko]

Cole, I'm with you. The OP was lame and WB rudely ripped it to shreds. The vitriol was totally uncalled for.

[WeirdBrake]

Cole, I'm with you. The OP was lame and WB rudely ripped it to shreds. The vitriol was totally uncalled for.

Tdko... aren't you the one who gave up on the "without the bad, you can't appreciate the good" argument/debate you tried to have with me a while back? It's ok if you aren't up to defending your positions, but don't hate ME because of it.

[tdko]

Tdko... aren't you the one who gave up on the "without the bad, you can't appreciate the good" argument/debate you tried to have with me a while back? It's ok if you aren't up to defending your positions, but don't hate ME because of it.
You're missing my point. It's not about your line by line analysis of the OP, but your harsh language, bitter attitude, and general snottiness about a largely harmless and positive post that got to me. I hate it when people get mean and then defend it by saying "I'm just being honest." Honesty is overrated and meanness a waste of everyone's time. Have a quote from wordsmith in a nearby thread:

Bitterness doesn't improve the atmosphere here. Any of us could be bitter. But whose best interest is THAT in? What good does it do anybody? I think we all need to make sure we're NOT being bitter about stuff when somebody DOES post something good.

[WeirdBrake]

You're missing my point. It's not about your line by line analysis of the OP, but your harsh language, bitter attitude, and general snottiness about a largely harmless and positive post that got to me. I hate it when people get mean and then defend it by saying "I'm just being honest." Honesty is overrated and meanness a waste of everyone's time. Have a quote from wordsmith in a nearby thread:

Well, you're entitled to your opinion, but you may be in the minority of posters here if you think I'm a mean, harsh, bitter, snotty individual. Can't win 'em all, I guess.

[tdko]

Well, you're entitled to your opinion, but you may be in the minority of posters here if you think I'm a mean, harsh, bitter, snotty individual. Can't win 'em all, I guess.
I don't really care if I'm in the minority or not. I said your post was mean, harsh, bitter and snotty, not you. I'd like the QLC community to be a supportive one, and your post was not in that spirit.

[WeirdBrake]

I don't really care if I'm in the minority or not. I said your post was mean, harsh, bitter and snotty, not you. I'd like the QLC community to be a supportive one, and your post was not in that spirit.

And as I said twice already in this thread, I totally believe in being supportive to other posters. But I like doing it based on truth, not touchy feely nonsense. I'm not going to unconditionally applaud everyone's posts, regardless of content. And I have a low tolerance for the touchy feely stuff. If rationally deconstructing such content is mean, harsh, bitter, and snotty to you, then label me a grinch and cross me off your holiday wish list.

[girlinterrupted]

And as I said twice already in this thread, I totally believe in being supportive to other posters. But I like doing it based on truth, not touchy feely nonsense. I'm not going to unconditionally applaud everyone's posts, regardless of content. And I have a low tolerance for the touchy feely stuff.

Well then, as my mother says, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. This wasn't a thread that justified your response to it. If you don't like touchy feely stuff, don't deconstruct a poem that was posted simply to put things in a positive perspective.

[WeirdBrake]

Well then, as my mother says, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. This wasn't a thread that justified your response to it. If you don't like touchy feely stuff, don't deconstruct a poem that was posted simply to put things in a positive perspective.

Speaking of someone who's getting crossed off a holiday wish list... :twisted:

Girlinterrupted... go read Learning When Not to Get Involved in a Fight by social psychologist Leonardo DiCaprio, PhD.

[girlinterrupted]

Speaking of someone who's getting crossed off a holiday wish list... :twisted:

Girlinterrupted... go read Learning When Not to Get Involved in a Fight by social psychologist Leonardo DiCaprio, PhD.

Oh stop you're killing me. :twisted: I have a great comeback for that one, but I'll let it slide.

Who said this was a fight? It can be if you want it to be. I'm tired of the whole "don't mess with WB" crap you throw around on this board. I was very supportive of you through the whole bar exam thing, but frankly I'm tired of you using it as an excuse to launch into people. First it was that you were moody because you didn't know the results. Fine. Then you were (rightfully) pissed when you didn't pass. Fine. But it's been long enough. Let it go. It's not the end of the world. We all have a lot in our lives to be pissed about where we could throw barbs at each other all day long, but I don't think it's in the "spirit" of the boards (although lately it seems to be).

[lawya girl]

Oh stop you're killing me. :twisted: I have a great comeback for that one, but I'll let it slide.

Who said this was a fight? It can be if you want it to be. I'm tired of the whole "don't mess with WB" crap you throw around on this board. I was very supportive of you through the whole bar exam thing, but frankly I'm tired of you using it as an excuse to launch into people. First it was that you were moody because you didn't know the results. Fine. Then you were (rightfully) pissed when you didn't pass. Fine. But it's been long enough. Let it go. It's not the end of the world. We all have a lot in our lives to be pissed about where we could throw barbs at each other all day long, but I don't think it's in the "spirit" of the boards (although lately it seems to be).

This response seemed uncalled for to me.

[WeirdBrake]

I have a great comeback for that one, but I'll let it slide.

Color me profoundly disappointed. I really wanted to hear it.

It can be if you want it to be. I'm tired of the whole "don't mess with WB" crap you throw around on this board. I was very supportive of you through the whole bar exam thing, but frankly I'm tired of you using it as an excuse to launch into people.

Oh, stop being so melodramatic. I've learned a few things in my 2 and a half years as a mod. One of them is that there will always be a handful of people who don't like me, who think I'm a bully, who accuse me of abusing my power, and who want to hold me to some insanely high standard as far as my posts, and if I let them down ONCE, I'm suddenly a big meanie who makes a point of acting horribly. Comes with the territory, and I've learned to be ok with it. If you want to be among that group, it's up to you. I have enough people who do appreciate the job I'm doing.

[girlinterrupted]

This response seemed uncalled for to me.

Maybe so, but his post to me was just meant to be mean and nasty. And I think I responded appropriately to that.

[and1grad]

I was rolling on the floor when I read this. I love ya, WB. ;) When I read the "tired and weary" part my exact thought was "no - it's because I have an autoimmune disorder." ROFLMAO
I agree...I thought it was hilarious.

[lilyflower]

Okay, I'm going to jump into the fray here, because frankly, I totally agree with WB (I know, shocker right). I'm sorry but the original post frankly quelled a large urge to vomit in me. Support is great, we all do that, but don't blow smoke up my ass, it's an insult to my intelligence and everyone here.

That said, bringing up the bar with WB was a really bad move - and also, IMO, kind of rude. We don't say to unemployed posters "gee, I guess that's why you don't have a job" so anything along that order to someone who just went through a shitty life experience sucks. Plus, trying to paint it with rainbows doesn't help. I know that sometimes people are at a loss for words, don't know what to say, but let me reiterate that VERY FEW people find comfort in platitudes. If platitudes are your thing, go to town, be as cheesy as you want but don't expect everyone to agree because at the great theme to Diff'rent Strokes goes "the world don't move to the beat of just one drum" That's what Willis was talkin' bout folks.

And that concludes this afternoon's enlightment post :D

[J-girl]

Hey I dont think it was cheesy at all the original post.

Its something I have experienced myself over the course of the past two years.

I was in bad relationships. And I thought I would never get out of the hole last year, I had no idea where my life was headed. But now that I think of it getting out of those relationships was the best thing to happen to me (I was talking about this to Dazed last night on IM).

My friends who I have known for 4-5 years have told me how I have become a better more confident individual over the years. But honestly I never noticed that change in me. I thought and I still think that I am not succesful and I am constantly running on the hamster wheel trying to reach some goal out there.

I am not saying setbacks dont devastate me but in the long run YOU DO learn a thing or two from what you went through. Maybe 5-10 years. You gain valuable experience that you can pass on to your kids.

And yeah I think the way WB butchered the OP's post is funny sure I mean not everyone follows the same mantra but I dont think you should call it "cheesy" or whatever.

My 0.02

[lilyflower]

My friends who I have known for 4-5 years have told me how I have become a better more confident individual over the years. But honestly I never noticed that change in me. I thought and I still think that I am not succesful and I am constantly running on the hamster wheel trying to reach some goal out there.

I am not saying setbacks dont devastate me but in the long run YOU DO learn a thing or two from what you went through. Maybe 5-10 years. You gain valuable experience that you can pass on to your kids.

I'll make sure to thank my family for abusing me to make me a better person when I see them on Thanksgiving.

[and1grad]

I'm thankful that this thread isnt about me. :evil: :razz: :lol:

[lilyflower]

I'm thankful that this thread isnt about me. :evil: :razz: :lol:

Yeah, but if it were I could just make you feel better by flashing you :razz:

[and1grad]

Yeah, but if it were I could just make you feel better by flashing you :razz:
LOL! You know thats your answer to everything anyway. I swear you're like Karen on Will & Grace. :razz:

[lawya girl]

I'm thankful that this thread isnt about me. :evil: :razz: :lol:

No, you'll get your very own. :p

[lilyflower]

LOL! You know thats your answer to everything anyway. I swear you're like Karen on Will & Grace. :razz:

Well, you respond to it. You're my very own Pavlovian dog :)

[and1grad]

No, you'll get your very own. :p
Ya.."spinoff of which mod, named and1grad, would u like to hit with a shovel"

[WeirdBrake]

Plus, trying to paint it with rainbows doesn't help. I know that sometimes people are at a loss for words, don't know what to say, but let me reiterate that VERY FEW people find comfort in platitudes. If platitudes are your thing, go to town, be as cheesy as you want but don't expect everyone to agree because at the great theme to Diff'rent Strokes goes "the world don't move to the beat of just one drum" That's what Willis was talkin' bout folks. -- lilyflower

Ok, back to the original topic... having been through some really shitty things in my life (If I posted my full life story, it would curdle most of your blood), I feel that not only have I gleaned absolutely nothing positive from any my bad experiences, but that when someone blows the "every cloud has a silver lining", "that built character and made you a strong person" smoke up my ass, it is really offensive and hurtful, and comes across as though they are suggesting I deserved to have bad thngs happen to me. It not only rubs salt in the wounds, but I feel as though it trivializes that person's problems. Shit happens people, and sometimes shit ruins lives. I don't see a need to be grateful for it. -- GetMeOuttaDC

Totally excellent points here. I'm not going to apologize for my stance here: I think the flowery stuff is a bunch of nonsense. I disagree with "everything happens for a reason." I disagree with "the bad makes you appreciate the good." I disagree with "negative experiences build character." And I disagree with anything else in that general mindset. I think it's a bunch of hooey, and I won't hesitate to express my disagreement with it. If certain people want to call me a grumpster/cynic/party pooper, go ahead. I prefer to be optimistic and positive in ways that have at least some connection to reality and truth. When I give people compliments and reasons to be hopeful, I make sure that I can back up what I say with solid evidence. I don't believe in phony, meaningless feel-goodism. Platitudes are for Hallmark.

Kelly is entirely right when she says that this phony feel-good stuff trivializes people's problems and implies that they deserved them. Think about it. If you're saying that a certain problem was a good thing, then you're essentially saying that they SHOULD have suffered the problem, as though there was some cosmic justification for it. And if you're saying that, then it's practically the same as saying they deserved it.

[Cole]

-- lilyflower

-- GetMeOuttaDC

Totally excellent points here. I'm not going to apologize for my stance here: I think the flowery stuff is a bunch of nonsense. I disagree with "everything happens for a reason." I disagree with "the bad makes you appreciate the good." I disagree with "negative experiences build character." And I disagree with anything else in that general mindset. I think it's a bunch of hooey, and I won't hesitate to express my disagreement with it. If certain people want to call me a grumpster/cynic/party pooper, go ahead. I prefer to be optimistic and positive in ways that have at least some connection to reality and truth. When I give people compliments and reasons to be hopeful, I make sure that I can back up what I say with solid evidence. I don't believe in phony, meaningless feel-goodism. Platitudes are for Hallmark.

Kelly is entirely right when she says that this phony feel-good stuff trivializes people's problems and implies that they deserved them. Think about it. If you're saying that a certain problem was a good thing, then you're essentially saying that they SHOULD have suffered the problem, as though there was some cosmic justification for it. And if you're saying that, then it's practically the same as saying they deserved it.

Opinion, opinion, opinion. Each and every one of us is entitled to our own. I never saw a rule to these boards saying "no trivial, nonsensical, nor feel-good posts will be accepted on these boards."

You don't like platitudes? Then don't get on a support-group board.

I never said anyone should suffer anything. Just that when each of us does suffer, we can choose to continue suffering, or we can choose to move on.

Which are you more in favor of?

[WeirdBrake]

Each and every one of us is entitled to our own.

Which is exactly why I was entitled to express mine.

[lilyflower]

Opinion, opinion, opinion. Each and every one of us is entitled to our own. I never saw a rule to these boards saying "no trivial, nonsensical, nor feel-good posts will be accepted on these boards."

No, but we also don't have a rule where we call all crap brilliant. Sometimes crap is just that - crap. You know, you can wrap crap up and try to give it to people, and put the prettiest paper on it. Problem how much you try to dress it up a box of crap is a box of crap.

You don't like platitudes? Then don't get on a support-group board.

Last time I checked QLC was not a 12 step program. If it was, then you've probably failed the searching moral inventory part, but don't worry the serenity prayer can fix EVERYTHING! :twisted:

I never said anyone should suffer anything. Just that when each of us does suffer, we can choose to continue suffering, or we can choose to move on.

Which are you more in favor of?

Yes, next time I see a cancer patient in the throes of chemotherapy I'll make sure to tell them that their continual suffering and pain is a choice and they should just move on. Brilliant.