Ever feel like the whole world is against you?

[Logick]

I'm 25 years old. I've only had one GF. I'm a virgin. I've been out of work for 2 months. I see no job anywhere in the near future. I'm going back to junior college. I'm contemplating leaving my career as a computer programmer to seek another career. Of course this is gonna shatter my dreams since as long as I can remember, I wanted to be a programmer. But no one wants anyone with only a year of experience. they won;t even look at you these days until you have 3 years. This really getting me down. I see all my friends married or with girlfriends, with good jobs, and either living away from home or living in a "normal" household, it gets me jealous, I feel like I have nothing to live for. I have many times comtemplated if I should go to the super market and buy some vodka and sleeping pills and end it all.

Does anyone know what I should do?

Where and how can I find hope?

[pisces2473]

Logick,

I think you really need to see someone about all these negative feelings. I'm not trying to sugar-coat it for you. Your message is riddled with suicidal tendencies and I think you need help. I'm not a mental health professional, but I do see one and it can be beneficial. Too many people I've cared about have been suicidal; thankfully none of them went through with it, but it was only because they got help.

Keep us posted.

[Logick]

Please don't worry about me I know I'll never do it. I'm just really depressed about my situation right now. I won't lie and say it never came up. I would just love some hope, which I am getting, I just got a phone interview tonight.

so I'm much better now.

[coll214]

Logick-
I think we all have those crazy thoughts when we're completely down in the dumps about everything going wrong in our lives. I think Jen and Weirdbrake are right that maybe you should try talking to someone; I've thought about it, but never have. And don't worry about the lack of a girlfriend; there are plenty of us in the reverse boat as you (seeing as how i'm 24 and it seems very quickly getting towards that 25 mark)!! If you know you want to be a programmer, then i say stick with it....Good luck and let us know how things work out!!

[tipsy88]

Hey i've replied before to one of your posts and i mentioned jobs and programming etc, so i won't repeat myself. But i just wanted to say, that i can relate to what you are feeling.

About 2 years ago i was in the same situation, i had just be dumped by my only serious girlfriend, and i had no job prospects and i felt all my other friends in the world had seem to get all the luck, i felt pretty bad. I remember thinking to myself how empty i felt, no love, no job, no fulfillment in my life. And when you feel that way you felt like the whole world is surging past you with their own lives and goals, it is like you've stopped moving along the stream of life. And day by day, all you feel is rejectment. Rejectment from your career path, rejectment from a girl, rejectment from your peers, rejectment from life. Like maybe you don't belong, or you weren't good enough to make the cut. Like no one wanted you. At least this was how i felt.

Things have changed since then, i've found a decent job, and i have a new girlfriend and i've thought more about what i would really want to achieve in life. I'm a lot more happier now than i was before, although events along the path didn't make it easy. And when i think about now versus then, i wonder what did i do that made a difference?

I would like to think that for as much as i got depressed about the situation, i never gave up hope that things would change. Whenever i got sad about thinking how i didn't have someone to love me when it seemed like so many others did, i guess i just thought out of 6.5 billion people in this world, i'm sure i can find one that would. It may sound a little ridiculous to you, but it help me with my perspective. Call it blind faith, but i had figured that one way or another something would happen that would lead down a better path than the current one i was on.

ugh this is getting too long... Anyway i think it comes down to perspective, everyone become depressed and each has their ways to deal with it. for me i wrote a lot... to myself. i felt I was the only one who i felt i could truly confide in. And honestly i think it helped. In fact i still write to myself today. It help me deal with the periods where i didn't feel like exsiting. And through it all i remained hopeful. Which gave me to the motivation to do things that would better my life in other ways that i hadn't considered before. I have no idea if this helps even the slightest, but i hope it has

[wordsmith]

I'm contemplating leaving my career as a computer programmer to seek anothercareer. Of course this is gonna shatter my dreams since as long as I can remember, I wanted to be a programmer.

Don't worry so much about this...why is it that you're contemplating a switch? If it preys on your mind, there must be a reason why, and that's worth examining. It could be that your perspective has shifted, and what's seemed like a good match for so long really isn't maybe the best match anymore, you know? There's no shame in that. People change. If I'd followed my life-long dream, I'd be one miserable, frustrated high school English teacher right now...original plans aren't ALWAYS worth sticking with...you have to do a bit of soul searching to make the final judgment call, though. Just thought I'd share a perspective.:)

[Logick]

Originally posted by wordsmith
Don't worry so much about this...why is it that you're contemplating a switch? If it preys on your mind, there must be a reason why, and that's worth examining. It could be that your perspective has shifted, and what's seemed like a good match for so long really isn't maybe the best match anymore, you know? There's no shame in that. People change. If I'd followed my life-long dream, I'd be one miserable, frustrated high school English teacher right now...original plans aren't ALWAYS worth sticking with...you have to do a bit of soul searching to make the final judgment call, though. Just thought I'd share a perspective.:) [/B]

For me leaving my career is not cause of a change of interest or anything. It seems like the technology field does not want me. I guy with only one year of experience. The market is really fucked and I have to compete against people with 10+ years of experience willing to work for the bare minimum.
For me a career change is cause I don;t want to be unemployed for 2+ years.

[wordsmith]

What you describe sounds like the case in lots of other fields as well, right now, just so you know. A temporary focus elsewhere might give you something to do until the economy is better, and they you can see about getting back into your original field of choice. It sucks to have to get out of the loop, but people do what they have to to get by, and if good work's not available, that's not a reflection on you. It sounds like the time is just bad right now to be a programmer. And doing something else out of necessity doesn't mean you're abandoning something you love, or that it's a permanent switch.

[Edibleautopsy]

So sorry to hear of your problems, Logick. Everything I read today about the tech industry is nothing but doom and gloom. It hasn't been easy for techies in California ever since the dot.com crash and with many tech firms these days outsourcing their IT departments to f'n India, well all I can say is I feel your pain.

http://www.kron4.com/Global/story.asp?S=1357066&nav=5D7lGr1K

http://h1b.info/outsourcing/

I live about 5 miles from a huge HP plant and just this past weekend I've heard that HP is closing it down and moving to Texas. Those in the upper echelon were giving two choices: move to Texas, or update your resume and look for a new job. Of course those on the bottom of the totem pole were given their walking papers. In fact, HP is pulling out of California altogether and they outsource their customer service department to . . . you guessed it, India.

[lioness524]

Please do NOT feel that way about yourself..... there's plenty of people out there who are a lot like you, so you're not the only one going through this. I'm one of them... caught in the middle of a bitter fight between two of my best friends and the ex-boyfriend of one of them. Still struggling in school and work, living with my mom and dad, no money, etc. It sucks big time. But what I can tell you is, yes, I do think it's a smart decision to go back to school if you can't find anything in your field.... the whole dot-dom business, along with everything else, is pretty much hard to come by in terms of jobs. Good things will happen to you if let make them - it's time to drag yourself out of depression and get yourself going. You won't have that girlfriend that you want without talking to her and taking some initiative - asking her out is a good thing!! And if she doesn't dig you then its her loss. Nobody says that you need to fall in love and marry by the age of 25 or 30. True love takes time.

[cazort]

I went through the same thing you are going through with the computer/technology field and found an odd way out. When I graduated college I had my heart set on getting a high-paying, challenging computer job. I just sort of assumed that it would happen. Then I graduated, and it was not until January that I had a job at all, and that wasn't even a "real" one.

I think part of the reason that you are having so much hardship is the unrealistic expectations about the tech professions that were created and drilled into our heads for so many years. For a while, it was so easy for any person skilled in computers to get a job, and the jobs were interesting, flexible, and high paying. We heard stories about this. But in some ways, this environment was false, just a fleeting moment caused by over-eager investors in an unstable economy. The reality is that life is hard in ANY field.

======

If you feel that the tech field is right for you, then stay in it! You will find a way to make it work.

Here are some ideas to consider:

(1) You can always keep your options open--look for jobs in other fields just to keep things going, but you can see this as a temporary solution, just to support yourself or keep busy. Sometimes jobs in other fields might help you later in the tech field--I took a job doing taxes, and I found that it prepared me for doing my own taxes, but it also made me much more attractive when I was looking for IT work with accounting firms!!! Think outside the box!

(2) Develop new skills. Maybe you have tech skills that are in some areas, but there is more demand in other areas. Being unemployed is a perfect time to master that new computer language, develop that program you've wanted to, or learn some new piece of software. While you have the free time, do it!!! You'll have a competetive advantage over people who are tied up working, and don't have time to quickly learn all these new products.

(3) Consider going freelance and being an entrepreneur. In this economy, it is hard to find a career, but it is easy to find people who need work to be done. If you have the organizational skills and flexibility to work this way, you can function in a lousy economy. You might not make a ton of money, but you find that your rewards are proportional to the work you put out--instead of just having the work go down a rathole, which is what happens in a dead-end job search.

(4) Get out there and be social. The way you get jobs is not by applying for them, but by finding the people who need work done, and just hanging out around them long enough. The more people you know, the better your chance of having a job. The more you get along with the people who need the work, the better your chance of landing a job. Don't think of APPLYING for a job, think of CREATING a job. You need to meet people, find the people who need the work, and then find a way for them to pay you to do it!!!

:-) Good luck.