Moving back home..

[gabi]

Does anyone have any advice for me? i know i am not the only one who has done this recently.
I've been back home for a little over a month. I came back from SF after 5 years. I never fit in my home town and being back here is really hard because i left my entire life behind adn noone is really here..everyone is married and/or has kids. NOt a place for single people. I really feel like a fish out of water. Emotionally, it's been really difficult, plus i really am not a fan of this area.
HELP!

[Anonymous]

hmmmm - is there a reason why you did move back 'home?'

If you are there for familial reasons, or to live at home to return to college, save money, etc. - then you have a good reason to have moved home.

If you feel like a fish out of water, chances are that there are others there that feel the same way; perhaps they are unable to find you, or unable to articulate their feelings of not fitting in.

Focus on why you did move there, and if you feel you have made a mistake, then you can always try again (no harm in that).

[gabi]

I moved home for economic reasons. It's just very difficult to adjust..

Thanks..

[quanyn]

I just moved home again too after about an 8 year period since high school of being away. It's been about a month now, and my parents are quite overbearing. I also moved home for economic reasons. I could move back out, but then I'll never be able to have money in the bank. A few of my high school friends are back home too, but they have thier own lives. My parents live in a very rural area...fAr away from where I work. My parents are completely bonkers. I can't even leave cosmo in the living room beacuse it's a smut magazine. It's like a prison, but hopefully this hardship will result in me not being so financially strapped. I haven't figures out how to make it better yet.

[gabi]

thanks! I hear you. I am gradually getting used to this area, although, I am making plans to at least move out of the house, or at least buy a car, so i can be more independent.

Keep me posted...

[quanyn]

Wow...that sucks that you don't have a car to get out of the house. I've been trying to fill up a few of my nights with activities so I'm not at home as much. So lately I've only been home hanging with the parents 2 or 3 nights a week. On the weekends I visit my boyfriend (about 2 hours away) which I'm sure makes things a lot easier on me. I started a drawing class last week, and I visit friends one or two nights out of the week. I still need to call home if I'm going to be late...and I still get yelled at for not having a clean room. But I'm dealing...and have more money to spend on fun things. Have you found anything that helps keep you sane?

[crazywillie]

I lived paycheck to paycheck (and sometimes borrowed) for 2 years after college. Moving back home would have felt like failure to me, I drove a crappy car, paid down my debt, and barely scraped by. Now I am just fine but I am proud that I struggled and didn't take the high road.

[quanyn]

I think your incinuations are rude. What is your motive?

[tvhopetobe]

The move back home is not one that we necessarily choose on our own accord, as anyone can see from the previous responses. I am mystified as to why someone would say we "take the high road." What you sacrificed in material things, I sacrifice everyday in my life's relationships and emotional needs. I have the maturity to be close to older, married people...but I can't get out of my own childhood home. How does it feel to have a date pick you up at your parents? I was VERY hesitant and nervous about it. I traveled for a year after school and now I have to pay back stiff loans. This was not my ideal option, but I had to do it. It's not the high road. It's simply getting by for now. I hope my spirit isn't staled by it.

[Anonymous]

I see nothing wrong in moving back home. I lived at home for a year after college before I could afford my own place and while it did not make for a great social life, it did enable me to save enough money so I could afford a social life once I moved out.

[wordsmith]

I don't think moving back in w/ parents is anything to be ashamed of. I moved back to my (small, remote, and yes, unfortunately basically boring) hometown recently after being at school and in the "real world" for six years. I spent several months at my parents' house before ratholing enough $$$ to get an apt. The mix of being in familiar, thus somewhat comforting, territory, plus having the autonomy that scraping by in my own place gives me works for me right now. My biggest issue is that, socially, it's a nightmare, whether I'm living at my folks or just in a small town that everyone usually leaves by the time they're our age. Still haven't come up to the solution to that one. Any tips?

[S]

I just turned 24 and moved back in with my parents. It was the last thing I wanted to do, because it meant giving up my friends and my networking contacts, moving halfway across the country to a town with fewer job prospects and cultural events, and facing bad memories. My parents were abusive--I thought about killing myself instead of moving back--but, because I'm a failure, I couldn't remain in the city where I'd gone to graduate school and spent the last 1.5 years looking for work. Now I'm enduring a lot of taunts and restrictions from my parents while I try desperately to get out and back where I feel I belong, but the economy just doesn't cooperate. Since I haven't spent this much time at their home since I was 17, my coping mechanisms need work.

I really, really wanted to struggle along nobly on my own, but even part-time and temp jobs have disappeared, and my medical problems prevent me from taking jobs that require physical labor. I didn't qualify for unemployment benefits because I didn't lose a job. What was I supposed to do?

[Unregistered]

yeah moving back home can really test your patience. one day i had to admit to my mom that i moved back home b/c i wanted to feel taken care of, kinda like the judging amy girl, been out in the real world, hated it, want a break. i just wanted to be able to chill for a while with no gas & elec bills, etc. having had a mortgage and a real job, i know it is a burdensome luxury and i just wanted a piece of my childhood freedom back, temporarily. most of my friends thought i was broke but it was just the opposite, i just wanted a crash pad while i went traveling and partying on weekends. but it was hard to deal with unresolved parental issues, etc. and i think the real reason i came home was to attempt some kind of emotional healing with my past. i say all this only to suggest that others like us may allow financial issues to push us into a situation that is really about resolving our feelings about family and childhood.

[Mason]

I know what you guys are going through. S I am glad to hear that you are dealing with your situation at home. I am in a situation, but nothing similiar to yours. I had to make the move to a city an hour away from where I went to college and because the job was so sudden and I just graduated I had to move in with my bestfriend's parents. Now, for those of you who are living at home, it can be tolerable because no matter what the fight is or frustration it is your family and they will love you no matter what. I feel, since I am living with someone else's parents that I have to be on my best behavior all the time. The other bad thing is that her younger sister at age 14 is still at home and I really have to watch what I say or do around her as well. I feel like I am losing a bit of myself because I don't have the luxury of breaking out of my shell on a daily basis! HELP!!!

[LadyLenderLight]

Its amazing how many people go through similar situations at any given moment. I feel very lucky to have come across this website today. Sometimes my curiosity gets the best of me. *warm smile*

I was born to a poor family in a countryside rural area and received many jaunts and jeers going through school about the way that my family lives (to begin with, their yard resembles that of a junkyard, with cars and boats, and scrapheaps all over it) and I went to a school that was poorly funded, which resulted in a less-than acceptable education experience. The point of all of this, is that in the beginning, I was not given much resource to go on to make the best of my own life. The important thing here is to NEVER give up heart in spite of what life has given you. Take what you have, and maximize its potenitial.

It's been a long, hard road with some crazy experiences...I've moved sometimes 2-3 times a year, trying roomates and family living situations, even alone...and the truth of it is that ALL of it was not so easy. And it's not over yet. It is only just started. I've been living in NYC for almost two years now with a very sweet man who saved me from the h*ll of my previous living situation (in which I escaped, instead of fixing my own life first). My job's pay sucks, but I love it, and I've become very frustrated with big city living. I do not like being in the city. I yearn to be back home, comfortable in the quietness and ease of country living...and I have a very supportive and great family. I plan on moving back in a matter of weeks. As for the guy?? If he is strong enough, and is willing to trust me, we will catch up to each other when we've save enough money to move to N.Carolina together. That was the plan to begin with, and he is an immigrant and cannot move from NYC before getting his greencard. I've spoken to him of my displeasure of living in the city, and it also affects my internal health(which is obvious on my skin appearance) which is unacceptable living.
I don't have a car yet, because I was recently in a car accident which I had scrapped and worked hard for years to get a good, decent, semi-new car...which all went down the tubes on the day of my birth, this year. (I wrecked my car on the early morning of my birthday, heading home to visit) That was the eye-opener for me. My gift this year was my life!!! My car was totalled and I was very lucky to not be hurt, let alone live through it.
I'm going to be moving back to Columbus, OH area and get started right away on a job I love and has the potential to secure me financially. I am going to be a Nutritional Counselor and Holistic Healer in the comfort of my own home, and I've many resources and classes and practice to do many diverse healing techniques. This is my life's core passion-to heal the needful people of this world, one small step at a time, and educating them on the most efficient, cheapest and healthiest ways that they can do on their own...erasing the useless and expensive needs toward doctors and therapists. Nature is where we came from, and nature is the way.

Ever in need? Email me and I can at least listen...perhaps offer my own experience and resources to help?? I will always do what I can. ^_^

I wish you all the best in finding your way...and I thank you wholeheartedly for listening. We all need each other at some points in our life, and I appreciate you ALL.

Warmest blessings,
Michelle. (LadyLender)