In My Skin

[Tallyboo24]

For a really long time I've just haven't felt comfortable in my skin. I try and I try but it never really feels right. One moment I could think, "Man, I *really* need to get out." Then I do. But I'm never really happy. I feel like I'm forcing myself into having fun. I try to change my appearence but I never really feel good. I only feel a little bit better than what I felt before, so that brings me to a little bit better than so-so. I don't have any friends and I don't really have the desire to have any. I don't have a boyfriend, but I seem to keep thinking about how perfect I want my next relationship to be. So, that leaves me with no relationship. Only one night stands at 1 to 2 year intervals.

My mom suggest that I pamper myself: tweeze my eyebrows, do a pedicure, soak in a nice hot bath, etc.
Once in a blue moon I try to polish my toetails, however, I'm so lazy that I never get around to again.

I'm so indecisive about my future, too. You know how you'd sit down and think of all the things you're good at? Well, I can't seem to find anything. My family thinks I'm very intelligent. But I know the truth. It's all just useless information that seems to have stuck in my brain. The important things I need to know never stick.

It's like if I were zipped in my skin I would unzip and try to find a better one.

Does anyone have any words of advice?


Talon

[old_school_soul]

where do you live? are you living with your folks? what keeps you busy during the day?

[perfectjinx]

There were a few things about your post...
"I don't have any friends and I don't really have the desire to have any." -- Having friends is so overrated! If you think you are good on your own then fine so it is.

"My mom suggest that I pamper myself: tweeze my eyebrows, do a pedicure, soak in a nice hot bath, etc. "-- this comes naturally to some girls/women but for others (like me) it might not be a thing that we find important/required/fun/etc...

So I guess what I am trying to say is be yourself.

Hope that was helpful!

[Tallyboo24]

Thanks for your responses, I appreciate them.

Someone asked me if I lived at home and what keeps me busy during the day. Well, I just finished this Office Admin. Program. And now I'm sitting at home watching t.v. About a month into the program, I started to wonder if this was something I should be going into or should I haven't going to community college. Now, more than ever, I'm wondering why I did this program. I've been looking specifically at the schools or hospitals to work at. But they want *so* much experience. And by previous work history lies with retail. Even If I did find something that appealed to me, living here in Chicago there are like a thousand people all looking for the same job.

I've moved out before, but I found out my parents were moving from KCMO to Chicago, IL. And I wanted to go too. I took a judgement on my apartment and moved back home and back in with my parents. It's been three years, and I've had five jobs. None of which I wanted to tolerate as much I tolerated the job I had when I moved out. Even then I felt like that job wouldn't take me anywhere, which is why I moved back home. That same company exists here in Chicago and I can't seem to get back where I was. They haven't called me except to offer seasonal positions...working full-time hours or part-time pay mind you. So, no way.

As for the pampering thing, I'm probably one of the girls who stuff like that just doesn't do it for them. But, I'd really like to change those habits. Has anyone else notice that men like the women who find that those things important in their lives? If they don't they like sporty girls. By that I mean when who care about exercise and display athleticism and that have a competitive nature 24/7. I'm a major klutz and sports have never been my thing. What has been my thing? Even looking back on it now I can't think of anything I did constantly besides RP or write fanficition on the internet. Even then there's always someone better.

How do I start to change all of this?

[winneythepooh7]

I can identify with what you are saying. I don't consider myself to be a girly-girl or high maintenance like so many women you would see walking down the street in NYC. I am just your average Jane probably. Once in awhile, I do the pampering thing, but for the most part, I get up, throw on a casual outfit, hair in pony-tail, little bit of make-up and I am out the door.

In terms of finding a job that wants a lot of experience, everyone has offered good advice. But in order to get to that good "career" job, you will need to start at the bottom, doing something entry level, and then work your way up. If you are good at what you do, you will advance pretty quickly. Fortunately or unfortunately, many jobs these days do require a Master's degree too. My recommendation is to try to get some solid entry-level experience under your belt in an area you would be interested in working in, and then apply to grad school.

[shygirl507]

Your first post sounded exactly like me. I know what your feeling, I feel like everyone sees so much in me and expects so much of me but I don't see any of that. I also have no social life, I have 3 good friends 2 of which I don't hang out with b/c I don't like going out to bars and drinking with them. The third is my cousin. The thing is I have gone out a few times with but it's only with certain people and I do have fun, but I don't like going out a lot and I hate when people comment on that. My 2 friends go out almost every night and drink and I am much happier staying at home and relaxing. I'm also in a rut with my job, I work as a receptionist at a hair salon and I love my job and the people I work with I just don't think I can make a future out of it, it's not a real job. I have a bachelors degree in communication and I don't know what to do with it or what will make me happy. I wish everything would just fall into place and I could live like the group on "Friends" or like you said "Sex in the City" I want the great job, the great guy and great friends I just think something is holding me back.