Need help with a major decision

[Corngirl]

Okay, I've had a problem that's been bothering me for a week or so and this is the only place where I may be getting the best opinion.

I am supposed to move to North Carolina in 2 days to work in a job that is not my perfect position. It's in an awesome area and I know I would enjoy it. The job I feel is not the best fit for me but I would be able to adapt and use it as best as I could.

I also may be offered a position in my home state of Iowa. The job is completely awesome and would be a great learning experience. The problem is that it is in the area that I grew up in and have lived for 25 years. I don't like that much but I've done it this long I could do it 2 more years while I'm working towards my licensure.

So my dilemma is do I move 800 miles away to a great area and work in a so-so job or stay in an area that I've been in for too long and work at a great job. Each one has it's pros and cons and I need to decide in 2 days since I have to move. I have a place set up and am supposed to start in less than a week.

[seren1411]

Well, surely the one thing you really don't want is to find yourself unemployed - so if you haven't been offered the job near home yet, then with two days before you're due to move you're cutting things a bit fine. Have you considered what will happen if you stay in Iowa but don't get offered this job?

On the other hand, you do sound fairly confident about getting the job near home (do you know your potential employers and can you put pressure on them for a definite offer?) and if it really is your dream job, then perhaps the position in North Carolina wouldn't be such a good idea. After all, if you do find yourself hating your job there you won't have the support networks on hand that you've probably been used to while living in your home state.

Also, if you already have a place set up and a job to go to, have you signed contracts/ tenancy agreements already? That could be messy if you decide to opt out now.

[Corngirl]

The director of the agency went to college with my dad so I've known about this job before it was even developed. They are letting me know wednesday night for sure so that's definitely cutting it close but if i'm not offered the job then off I go.

For the job in North Carolina, I haven't signed anything yet. I have sent in an application and that's it. My new apartment hasn't been signed yet either.

[seren1411]

Well that makes things really tough if you've got right up until you're due to go to decide, especially when both jobs have things going for them.

Would you have a chance for a second shot at working for your dad's friend if you went for the North Carolina position and found you couldn't stick it? On the other hand, it sounds as though the job in your home state is tailor-made for you and could be the perfect springboard into your career.

If you did choose the home-state job, would you end up living with your parents rather than in a place of your own?

[Corngirl]

There would be no way I would live with my parents. I've been doing it for 9 months now and have pretty much hit the point where I don't want to be here anymore. The town has about 70 people in it and many are family. The area is very rural so that's why I was looking to leave.

I lived in Tennessee for a year and a half while in grad school but moved back to Iowa last September due to absolutely hating Knoxville. It was too much city for me. I've been to Asheville 4 or 5 times while I was there and enjoy the city and area. I like to be outdoors and hike and stuff so that's why I was looking at that area.

I guess the thing is if I stay here, I'm really nervous that I'm going to be missing things (I know whats out there since I've lived away) because I find enjoyment in all that the south has to offer. Then again I'm nervous that if I don't take the job in Iowa which is very good, I'll never be able to sharpen my skills to where I want them to be.

So it's location versus experience. I honestly may like the job in NC. I haven't been down there to check it all out. It's just from what i was explained during the interview (which was a phone call).

[seren1411]

So, location & social life vs career skills & development opportunities?

As it's only for a couple of years, I think I'd probably go with the career opportunity if it were offered to me as having longer-term impact on my life. Tough it out for a couple of years and then move on.

But as I'm originally from a tiny village in the middle of nowhere myself I have lots of sympathy with the desire to escape:D

Don't forget it wouldn't be a life sentence, and you'd still have weekends to explore life outside, it's just that things just look so much worse when you've been living with your parents.

[pisces2473]

Could you negotiate something with the company in NC, like a 3 month trial? I think it's a lot to expect from someone--just picking up and moving without seeing the company, the area, etc. What if you got there and it was NOTHING that they told you? I would be so mad! I would love to move to a new place and get a great job but the unknowns are scary. Good luck!

[Corngirl]

Well I live 800 miles away from Asheville so a 3 month trial move would be very hard and expensive. Plus I don't think they would try a trial with me. I had to move my start date back by 2 weeks and that was like giving away my first born child.


As for staying in Iowa. I know I could do it, I've done it for years. I'm just tired of the same old thing of going out and getting hammered because that's all there honestly is to do in the area I live in. I've put 20,000 miles on my car since october doing traveling on the weekends. There's not much to do close by. It's all cornfields and farms and small town people.


I do appreciate all the help here. I've been literally getting sick over the decision.

[pisces2473]

It sounds like your mind is made up (to me at least) and you want to go to Asheville. You say you are tired of the same old thing that you have in your small town right now and that you want something new. I understand--my town has 27,000 people in it and there's NOTHING to do there...I can only imagine what it's like for you.

I hope you are feeling better... :)

[Corngirl]

You're right I do want to move. BUT I also believe in career advancement and thinking for the future. Asheville is a great city but hard to get hired in the social service area so I got lucky with this job. It's not as great a learning experience as here in Iowa which may help me in the future find a better job.

[pisces2473]

Oh boy...I hate making decisions, especially big ones. It's like, Can't I have both? LOL Why can't the better job be in the more exciting place?

Do you think the Iowa job is better because it's where you are most familiar? And the Asheville job isn't as good because it's in a new location?

Have you made a pro/con list? I'm sure you have, but sometimes it helps to take another look at it...

:)

[libscigrl]

If you haven't yet anything firm on the Iowa job and you do for the Asheville position, take the Asheville job. Holding out for a better position when you have a firm offer elsewhere can result in no job at all.

However, if not for that I would lean toward the Iowa position. Whether you enjoy your job or not can have a BIG impact on your happiness and ultimate success. If you did the Iowa job you might be able to advance enough in a few years so that you can then get better offers in some other places you're interested in living in.

Go with your gut. If you are sick over it, it's likely b/c your body and heart are prolly trying to tell you something. It may not be the easiest path, but may lead to more happiness in the long run.

I wish you the best of luck!

[Corngirl]

Well the outcome actually was neither on that. I didn't get the job and I lived in Asheville for less than 24 hours. Lets just say I had a "little crisis" while I was there. I'm going to write my lovely little story in the next few days. So now I am unemployed. I went from 2 jobs to no jobs and I still live in my parents basement. Something obviously didn't turn out right.

[pisces2473]

I'm sorry to hear about the turn of events but we're all here so keep writing!

[lioness524]

Corngirl.... what town are you from?? I'm a fellow Iowan.... lived in Burlington all of my life..

[Corngirl]

Actually I live in Mt. Union. It's only about 35 miles from Burlington and that's where the iowa job was located.

[seren1411]

Corngirl, I'm so sorry things turned out like that. I was really rooting for you there.
Crisis aside, don't forget you DID get the job in Asheville on your own merits.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do - keep us posted.

[Corngirl]

Thanks for the support but I moved back all on my own. I wrote a little about it in the quarterlife crisis section but I went down there and really had no desire to stay at all. There wasn't even an ounce of happiness or excitement at all. I just felt bitter and could have cared less what happened. I knew right then that no matter how hard I "toughed it out" I probably would never be happy there. If I wasn't willing to work on it then how would it be later on? It wouldn't. I also realized that I was tired of starting over. I've done it from scratch 4 other times in 6 years due to college changes and jobs and I just did not want to go through all that again.

I actually feel pretty good right now. Surprisingly I think this is what I needed to do. I now have a chance to sit back and really take a hard look at what's going on. I do want to leave here but I don't want to take the first job that'll move me away because it may be like North Carolina and I just accepted it because it was new. I have some money saved up so I can last for at least 2 months bill wise. Of course it's living in my parents basement but they've been very supportive of the situation at this time. My mom even told me there's no sense in worrying or moping because I made my decision and now we have to look forward.