Girls : Would you date a guy with no job?

[MrNCG23]

Let's say some guy you've never met asks you out. You learn he's a good guy, and looking for a job, but is unemployed. Is this automatic disqualification? I'm not judging anyone, so please, be brutally honest.

[Lipstick]

Depends what I was looking for. If I was hanging out at a bar in the next two or three years just getting established and I was only looking to date for fun and companionship I don't think it would bother me.

If I was a few years older and I was looking to settle down, I might not.

[Airwaverider]

Personally, it was part of a dealbreaker for me. However, I think that it was more to do with that this guy (I had been dating him for about 3 months) seemed to put everything on plastic, but didn't really work much and always complained that he was 'broke'. When I suggested that he look for something a bit more fulltime to cover his 'brokedom', his actual reply was that "working fulltime stresses me out"... In my mind it was a reflection on his character, which was a shirking of responsibility (as it turns out) on many levels...

But in saying this, I reckon that if he was making it his business to actively look for work, this would be fine... I guess that from my (somewhat) experience, it just makes me a bit nervous if someone I date lives beyond their means.. I've always had a massive work ethic, so its just something important to me, like a personal pride to provide for oneself...

[wordsmith]

It would depend on why, for me. But I think, even if you're unable to get a gig in your preferred field, you can at least pick up SOMETHING. I know a guy with an honors BA who's not too proud to work construction while looking for the job he really wants.

[lilyflower]

Well, define "unemployed" was he laid off? Is he a new grad?

Or is he a bum that plays playstation all day and never wants to move out of his parents' basement?

Unemployed in and of itself isn't a deal-breaker, but I'd want to know why.

[Bugsey34]

It would depend on a lot of things. Have they been employed for a long time, or is it obviously a temporary thing? What are they trying to do with their life, do they have direction in some career field and just haven't gotten into it yet? I definitely could not relate to someone who is lazy, doesn't want to work hard, or doesn't have goals.

[depressed1983]

Prior to being unemployed myself, I would have said no. But now, I'd prob give the guy a chance -- if he is actually looking for a job and has long-term career goals in mind. If he's a stoner who doesn't really care about finding a job, then I'm still not interested.

[WorkInProgress]

Well, define "unemployed" was he laid off? Is he a new grad?

Or is he a bum that plays playstation all day and never wants to move out of his parents' basement?

Unemployed in and of itself isn't a deal-breaker, but I'd want to know why.

Exactly. "Unemployed" does send off a red flag, but it's not necessarily a dealbreaker. If I liked him and wanted to pursue a relationship, I'd probably stick around for a bit, but I would have to see some real effort put into being self-sustaining in order to keep said guy around for any real length of time.

[Ciderhillnh]

Im actually going through this currently.
The guy Im seeing just moved here from across the country, he had a long temp gig, and now that its up he has only worked a few days in the past few weeks.
He keeps saying he is putting together his resume, but he hasnt, and he isnt going to see head hunters, or other temp agencies, or applying on his own.

He is still able to go out (and no not on plastic), so I believe that he is set since he isnt worried yet.

I really want to see him get a job, and he is a smart cookie, but Ive been down this road before with someone who just wouldnt get their shit together.

He has all day and all night to put together his resume, its like just do it already.
Im honestly thinking about talking to him tonight to ask his game plan, because he hasnt told me, and Im starting to think he might not have one nor be putting anything in the works.
We'll see.
Because if his answers suck, I might have to bail.

[winneythepooh7]

It would depend on why, for me. But I think, even if you're unable to get a gig in your preferred field, you can at least pick up SOMETHING. I know a guy with an honors BA who's not too proud to work construction while looking for the job he really wants.

I agree with this. I also think that if someone is unemployed, they need to make it a full-time job to be looking for work. Especially if they want me to date them. I know way too many people who bitch that they can't find a job, however, are sitting around playing play station all day and only sending out resumes here and there to jobs that they are no way in hell qualified for because they don't want to do "just anything". I know that probably sounds mean, but I don't want to hear it after awhile if you are not taking an active role in bettering yourself.

[shimmer728]

Depends for me, too. My BF is unemployed, but that's because he's studying for the bar. Hardly a bum loser!

[coll214]

I'd say as long as I know the TRUE reaasons for not having a job and it really is only temporary, then yes. But if it's a NASCAR obsessed, living in mom's basement while playing Playstation, then not gonna happen. Or no job b/c it interferes w/ his pot/drinking habits, then hell no.

[RudeGirl]

Funny this thread should be here today. My guy just got laid off--as in, ten minutes ago.

This is going to suck.

On the bright side, he can probably pick up a banking or CSR job that paid as much as or more than his writing job did.

I'm going to try to stay hopeful. :neutral:

[Skyblade]

I met my bf on craigslist and when we were e-mailing eachother he did have a job, but I found out later that during the month where we were e-mailing back and forth he ended up getting laid off, so when we met in person he was unemployed. We went out on a few dates until he finally told me. He had had a really hard time telling me and thought that I would break up w/ him if he told me, but I didn't. He ended up finding a job a couple months later after we had started dating, so its not like he was a total slacker and didn't care about finding a job. So yes, it depends on the situation, but being unemployed isn't a big enough reason to not date someone for me.

[Kitty]

I would for sure date the person. People lose jobs all the time. However, it was a year later and he still hadn't found work - that would be a serious issue for me. If it was just a short-term thing, no prob.