Friend's Bridal Shower On Your Birthday?

[cheshrcarol]

As I've mentioned here before, I'm a bridesmaid in my friend's wedding in the spring. We're just starting to plan the shower and bachelorette party, which will be the same day since most of us are out of town. I was talking to my friend's fiance and he suggested that since we're surprising her, the best date would be at the end of his school vacation in March (he's in school to be a physician's assistant). I thought that was a good idea and then realized it would be 2 days before my birthday.

I'm not sure if this is a good idea or not. Since it's my friend's wedding stuff, the day should really be about her, especially since we have to do both in one day. I don't think it would really be fair to her to do anything for my birthday that day also, so I wouldn't want my friends to make a big deal. But still, it's 2 days before my 28th and would probably be the day to celebrate since my actual b-day is a monday. But it might be a little depressing to be there with my closest friends, none of whom live anywhere near me, and have the event totally ignored.

At this point I can probably push for whatever date I think will work best. I guess I kind of feel like if we do go ahead with that date it's not really fair to either of us, and yet that date will probably work best for surprising her and be the perfect amount of time before the wedding. What do you guys think? Will it be an issue? Am I overthinking things? Would you plan your friend's shower/bachelorette for YOUR birthday weekend?

[coll214]

^^^ Agree w/ the above. I wouldn't think she'd want to completely ignore the fact that it's pretty much your b'day weekend too!

[Bugsey34]

Hmmm this is a toughie.

I would say yes I would plan it the same time, and then plan a bday celebration another day. The following weekend maybe? Do you feel OK making that sacrifice because of the wedding? Otherwise I would do something really small during the shower, like a bday cake along with the other desserts, and it's true it would be the best cover.

I guess it depends on how willing you are to inconvenience yourself for this wedding. If you're willing to take the back seat to make it all about her day. If you are, postpone the bday, otherwise do it together. Both make sense in a certain way, but I don't know how you really feel about it.

[SmilesSoSweet]

I just think it's kind of tough to make sure the bridal and bachelorette party don't coincide with someone else's birthday that's in the wedding party. My brother proposed to his wife two days before my birthday last year. So when I went home that weekend, it was all about the engagement, but my mom and my sister-in-law's mom still made me a couple of cakes to not forget about my birthday. I really didn't care since I don't do anything for my birthdays. My brother's wedding was three days before our sister's birthday. It was during Labor Day weekend and my brother and his wife wanted their wedding to be during a holiday weekend. My sister didn't care. It was her 30th birthday, too. She also doesn't do much for her birthdays anyway.

Maybe you can do something for your birthday Friday night then have all the bridal festivities on Saturday? I don't know. It does suck, but it's just really tough to get everyone's schedules to work without making events on other people's birthdays and stuff.

[cheshrcarol]

I think it would only be an issue if you make it one, to be honest. (Unless she's become totally self-centered and inconsiderate since her engagement.)I think you're right. I'll just go ahead with that day and not even bring up my b-day. If my friends do something for it, great. If not, that's cool too. I was actually more concerned about the bride, her family has behaved kind of crappy about the whole thing and no one's really made a big deal out of it. So I want to make sure she gets the kind of shower and bachelorette that most people imagine, where everyone DOES make a big deal over her.

[Deavan]

Not to be harsh but try being forced to go to your brothers wifes bridal shower the day after your mother died and the day before her funeral, then tell me how "incoveinant and unfair" it is having your friends bridal shower the day your want to celebrate your birthday.

[cheshrcarol]

Not to be harsh but try being forced to go to your brothers wifes bridal shower the day after your mother died and the day before her funeral, then tell me how "incoveinant and unfair" it is having your friends bridal shower the day your want to celebrate your birthday.Look I'm sorry you had to go through that and I know my dilemma isn't exactly the end of the world, but I do think you're being unnecessarily harsh. If you re-read my post, I did not use the word inconvenient and I referred to it being unfair to the bride - not ME.

[biodork]

Not to be harsh but try being forced to go to your brothers wifes bridal shower the day after your mother died and the day before her funeral, then tell me how "incoveinant and unfair" it is having your friends bridal shower the day your want to celebrate your birthday.
Yeah that's pretty harsh, carol was more concerned with the bride and not wanting to take attention away from her day.

[Deavan]

Look I'm sorry you had to go through that and I know my dilemma isn't exactly the end of the world, but I do think you're being unnecessarily harsh. If you re-read my post, I did not use the word inconvenient and I referred to it being unfair to the bride - not ME.


My bad I apologize