Friends With Benefits

[davidhasselhoff]

Has anyone ever had a relationship like this?

How long did it last?

How did it go?

How did it end?

Did you think it was a good idea?

I'm currently seeing a girl as "friends with benefits" but finding the situation getting a bit more awkward as I think she is becoming less casual about it and starting to develop stronger feelings. I think its a good way to just have fun with a girl without any strings but ultimately I think these types of situations are futile and bound to be short lived flings. Any thoughts?

[jdt141]

This rarely, if ever, works. One or the other of you is going to get emotionally attached. Just grow up and date her or don't. Don't use her, don't let her use her.

[Deadend]

I just don't think it's natural. And yes that's a cliche "natural", but it seems like everybody that does this always winds up with something differant than what they had originally intended. It's kind of farcical when you think about it, because there's always someone (I've seen women in this situation mostly) that will proudly proclaimb how liberated and mature they are about the situation and that just won't happen to them. Arrogence.

It doesn't matter how "simple and straightforward" you try to make something, human drama is inevitable. Put that in your existencial pipe and smoke it.

[lookingforit]

Not a fan! I'm the jealous type though..hehe

I don't prefer the whole friends thing, because she could have a lot of friends. I'm def. not down with that.

But that is just me :D

[RudeGirl]

Has anyone ever had a relationship like this?

-Yes.

How long did it last?

-One, three months; the other, on and off over entirely too long of a time period.


How did it go?

-Abysmally.


How did it end?

-In both cases, with the other party cutting off all contact with me, and being rude to me in public, too. I think they were the same person in different clothing.


Did you think it was a good idea?

-Absolutely. I consider them learning experiences.


Any thoughts?

-Two. You only live once, and sex is always there when you aren't looking for it.

[EL_1]

How long has this situation been going on?

What makes you think that is starting to develop feelings?

[SmilesSoSweet]

Has anyone ever had a relationship like this? Yes

How long did it last? The only one lasted for almost a year. I was actually the other girl, so I should have avoided it from the get go.

How did it go? Feelings obviously got involved, but from him first.

How did it end? We had to end it because his gf got pregnant, though I should have ended it way before then.

Did you think it was a good idea? No.

I will never do a friend with benefits again. Yeah I did hook up with an ex last month but he lives in a different state, so it's not like this will be an ongoing thing.

[and1grad]

Maybe the problem is the friendship and not the benefits. How 'bout strangers with benefits? You can just completely cut out the entire need to be friends. Problem solved!!

[shimmer728]

From what I have seen, this never works. An old friend of mine got herself tangled up in one of these situations for like a year and a half. She cried to me about it constantly, and fought with the guy ALL THE TIME over it. HIS parents finally forced him to end things with her because they got tired of her phone calls (he lived at home, I believe). Of course, that was quite an extreme situation.

[EL_1]

Maybe the problem is the friendship and not the benefits.


I think that this is the main problem. Maybe what you think is feelings that she is developing is just stronger feeling of friendship.

You should speak to her and make sure that what you are thinking is really going on. If you want to continue with the friends with benefits thing you should establish that nothing has changed. If she does have feelings and it continues it will just be more painful for her.

Get everything out in the open. It's best for the both of you.

[Deadend]

Maybe the problem is the friendship and not the benefits. How 'bout strangers with benefits? You can just completely cut out the entire need to be friends. Problem solved!!

You mean like.... one night stands?

Honestly.... I actually find that idea much more appealing (I've never done either though, just commenting above on observation as a third party).

[lorion11]

I think it only works when the two FWB do not 'date'. Meaning it is either strictly friends or strictly sex. I've actually had a few good experiences. One in particular filled a nice void when I was getting over someone else. We don't sleep together anymore, but he is still a great friend of mine.

[wordsmith]

No, and I won't do it, either; it's ony a recipe for disaster for me. Because of what deadend said...you can only predict human emotion so far...best of intentions that something stay at a certain level? Nice idea, but good luck reigning it in if that's not how it works out. No thank you. Emotions are too complicated to pretend they're easily controlled. Not a good can of worms for me.

I've had guy friends where we've been physically intimate in the sense that we've have cuddle sessions, spent the night, whatever, before...but I won't enter into a sexual relationship with somebody casually. It's not my style.

[embrassezla]

i was in a couple situations like this in college, once with my best (male) friend, and again with HIS close friend. in the first case, i didnt want a relationship and neither did he. but going from friends to more-than-friends made things wierd for a bit, but we eventually got over it and are still good friends. in the second case, i wanted a relationship with him, but he didnt want one with me, and the fact that i had been romantic with both of them made the whole thing a huge mess. i don't regret the first situation. i ABSOLUTELY regret the second. if you have any kind of feeling for someone, this is not a good idea.

[Winter Storm]

Has anyone ever had a relationship like this?

How long did it last?

How did it go?

How did it end?

Did you think it was a good idea?
...Any thoughts?

Have done before, won't do again. It just kind of fell into place that way. And for awhile, I was okay with it.

It was off and on for about 6 months. Then I stopped seeing him.

It ended when he made plans to be with me and before then, I ran into him and his other 'friend' at a festival. Since we had mutual friends, I had to hang with them for awhile, before I split. It was awkward and hurtful. That did it for me.

If you don't mind having meaningless sex with someone that has no genuine interest in you, then hell yeah, its great. But for me, a person that deeply cares for people, it was a bad idea. Sure, the sex was fun, but sex with someone that loves and cares about you is 10x better.

[meatwad]

I'm sorry, but the username reminded me of this picture. (http://ca.geocities.com/jimmcginley@rogers.com/juggling/Images/Download_Knight_rider_david_hasselhoff_with_gary_c oleman.jpg)

[bridgetjones]

I do not get how ppl can sleep with someone they do not have ANY feelings for? If I want to sleep with you, there is feelings whatever they happen to be... Sure there are ppl I could have no feelings for but I would not want to have sex. Ugh... Eww...