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View Full Version : "A Hickey on Your A** in the Morning."


steamroller
12-17-2005, 11:53 AM
Alright so I posted this on my goofy blog, but I'd kind of enjoy some of your thoughts on the subject, so here it goes....


Detective guy fell off the face of the Earth, Sexual e-mailer did too, but a new one came onto the scene with some snazzy bravado.


So I wake up to some serious snowfall and take the day off. I sat around in my pj's until 2pm, when the hot handy man knocked at my door. I don't know what it is about this guy, but I wish I courage to just blurt out, "Hi. I think your REALLY hot. Wanna f**k?"



Anyway, this brief encounter made my day....



Until my date last night, which was TOTALLY a blind date for me. Shit, I haven't had one of THOSE in a LONG time.

The profile? Male, 32, 5'5" hilarious, extremely intelligent, grew up in Kuwait until he was 16, when his family sent him to the US for college (and to keep him from being killed). Fascinating conversationalist. I think he talked for the majority of the first half of the date, while I just laughed at his wisecracks and listened.

We eat at one of my favorite joints, have a few beers, then decide that it's time to do some serious bar hopping. It was a blizzard, but the town was bumpin'.

At that point, I was totally pleased with myself for agreeing to this blind date. The guy was very easy to get along with, shared my sense of humor (which is HUGE for me), and had some pretty sexy eyelashes goin' on.

He brought me to a few places I had never been to, including this very cool jazz bar, where the lead singer (this 50 something chick) kept smiling at him...which of course led me to harassing the guy incessantly about this older chick obviously being more of a sure thing for him.

We were in his hood, so he showed me his house that he's refurbishing (more bonus points for him). At that point he had mentioned a few times his female "friend" who's an artist/teacher, who had moved to NYC a few months before (negative points for him, since he mentioned this "friend" enough to make me wonder). Every room in his house had a painting covering the wall of this "friend." I made a mental note.

We headed to MY hood to hit a few more bars, including one that made me feel like I was in that Janet Jackson video "That's the Way Love Goes" http://www.bellalopez.com/ttwlgvid.htm , where everyone is feigning their trendy hippiness. It was still a cool place, nice vibe, fireplace, funky comfy chairs; kind of felt like you were at a house part instead of a bar.

I took note that my date was starting to look a little drunk. He started talking about this "friend" again...who he had apprently dated for 2 years, until she moved to NYC. Out pours the REAL story: they didn't really end things until Thanksgiving. I immediately shut up and listen to the guy spill his guts about this chick. My initial internal response was,"F*ccccccck! Bad timing!"

Guy claimed that it's totally over and that he would rather be dating someone HERE instead of something long distance. I objected, of course, pointing out that if you're 100% compatable with someone and WANT to be with, the distance shouldn't be a factor. I wanted to smack myself, because I was defending THIS OTHER GIRL, instead of being content that this guy was with ME!

So fast foreward to my apt. I invite him in for a glass of wine. Actually, I think he invited himself in for a glass of wine, which I went along with. We kill a bottle and out comes MORE truths and MORE debating about dating in 2005. At that point, I was drunk enough to ask my notorious (and usually inappropriate) question, "How many people have you slept with?" Guy says, "About 20. What about you?" And on goes the debate...that we finish in my bedroom, while making out in our underwear. Heh.

Moral of the story? Bad boys are fun to make out with, but you may end up with a hickey on your ass in the morning.

I don't really think this one will be long term, based on that damn number thing. Maybe I'm a prude and silly to think that there's actually a guy out there who hasn't f*** more than 10 women and is STILL compatable with me.

jdt141
12-17-2005, 01:38 PM
That is quite a funny story. However, you want to find a guy that's compatible with you that's slept with less than 10 women??

steamroller
12-17-2005, 02:58 PM
Ten is a nice number. 20+ kind of make me wonder.

Deadend
12-17-2005, 04:51 PM
Nicely done Lindsey.... very entertaining to read.

They say guys always lie up, I don't know about that. I think if it's like only a couple women then perhaps. But I think they're just as interested in not looking like they get around, even if they don't mind looking like they've been around. Know what I mean?

My number is very low, on account of managing a bit of a dating haidous in my early 20's I still don't understand how I managed, followed by a couple of serious relationships lasting upwards of a whole year. Still, I was talking to a friend of mine on the phone for whom things have worked out a bit differantly for. This guy is not a player and seems to persue romance with all the starry-eyed idealism of the best of them. Yet I happen to know first hand he's been with at least three new women this year alone. At least two of those were not intended to be flings, he doesn't say things like "ya she's hot, I'm getting with her" he says things like "Ya, I think this one has some real potencial". With that kind of rate it's very easy to imagine hitting the 20 mark by 32.

I'm a prude too, I wouldn't be cool with a girl that's got around that much either. However, maybe if I'm still dating at 32 I'll reconsider.

midtwenty
12-17-2005, 05:43 PM
There's a tiny, twisted little part of me that is practically bursting to ask just how the hell you ended up with a hickey on your ass.
But the rest of me is screaming, "Don't ask!"
;)

steamroller
12-17-2005, 08:04 PM
Thanks, Dead. I think I needed to read that. I'm just going to have to chill and enjoy the company while it lasts...without adding another number to MY list. I know I'm slightly obsessed with the number thing, which some of my friends have pointed out to me more than a few times. I guess I just don't want a guy who a "any port in the storm" type of guy... but I appreciate the incite that you gave from your friend's perspective.

Mid, that portion of the story is kind of harmless. He actually brought up discussing the "ground rules". He knew my deal, no sex, no oral, just fun, make out, cuddle, all that fun stuff. He was totally cool for all of that, until I said, "NO HICKEYS!" Next thing I know I have my toes are touching my ears and I'm getting a hickey on my ass.

So there's the dilemma: his sens of humor is just REALLY attractive to me...enough for me to keep trying to forget that he's had sex with quite a few women, is muslim (but doesn't practice), and two inches shorter than I am.

And here I am, not returning his phone call, asking me over to watch the Bills game.

bridgetjones
12-17-2005, 08:07 PM
Well Mid you affix lips to ass and raise the skin to cause a bruise... :p

Deadend it depends on the audience. I would guess a guy talking to a so called nice girl who is more likely to be grossed out by a high number will get a more conservative number. Then there are some guys that assume a higher number means more experienced.

It is possible to be 30 something with 20 partners. I nearly freaked at one guy telling me 25! Then I did the math. You start at 19 years old. You have 1-2 partners a year on average. It is concievable to have that number and not even be that slutty!

Then there is the odd vacation fling that can up your number. If the guy has traveled around for fun ALOT that can up your vacation sex quotient. There is much potential for one niters amongst even the nicest non slutty folks when travelling around.

jdt141
12-17-2005, 09:09 PM
They say guys always lie up


We only lie up to other guys. (Not that it even really comes up that often) Its a macho thing. Why lie up to a girl you're trying to get with? That doesn't make sense, to me...

shimmer728
12-17-2005, 09:43 PM
I think 20 is a hell of a lot of chicks to fuck. But I'm a prude, too. Can't shake that Catholic upbringing. Despite my love of swear words such as hell and fuck. ;)

steamroller, I once went out on a date with a guy who took multiple calls from the "other" girl he was dating (probably his serious girlfriend!) Asshole! But hey, if you had fun making out with this dude, go for it!

on account of managing a bit of a dating haidous in my early 20's

OK, help me out here. What on earth is a haidous? Is that like something hideous? I'm really curious.

bridgetjones
12-18-2005, 12:49 AM
hiatus?

khgkjhgjkg

steamroller
12-18-2005, 01:55 AM
We only lie up to other guys. (Not that it even really comes up that often) Its a macho thing. Why lie up to a girl you're trying to get with? That doesn't make sense, to me...


Exactly...which is why I figure the number is actually HIGHER than 20.

I'm telling yeah, this one is a tough call. I just got home from date number two. Watched a few movies at his house after the football game. He made NO moves?! None! Not even a hand grab!

Then when I get up to leave, I go to give him a hug and a kiss...nothing big, right? And he gives me the CHEEK!? Totally weird.

ebruening
12-18-2005, 02:44 PM
Mid, that portion of the story is kind of harmless. He actually brought up discussing the "ground rules". He knew my deal, no sex, no oral, just fun, make out, cuddle, all that fun stuff. He was totally cool for all of that, until I said, "NO HICKEYS!" Next thing I know I have my toes are touching my ears and I'm getting a hickey on my ass.

Yes, setting "ground rules" is important, as I had to do on my date last evening. Speaking of hickeys, I have a hickey necklace (ewww, but fun at the time) due to last night's date, which forces me to wear turtleneck sweaters for the next few days. Does anybody have any surefire method for making them go away, other than just giving it time? I've never had one on my neck before, and unfortunately, I have several to deal with at this point in time. :redface: Sorry, steamroller, I didn't mean to threadjack. I thought the subject matter went along with your original post, so that's why I posted it on your thread.

bridgetjones
12-18-2005, 03:46 PM
polysporin?

Bugsey34
12-18-2005, 03:51 PM
I don't think there is anything to make them go away, just time.

steamroller
12-18-2005, 04:17 PM
Yes, setting "ground rules" is important, as I had to do on my date last evening. Speaking of hickeys, I have a hickey necklace (ewww, but fun at the time) due to last night's date, which forces me to wear turtleneck sweaters for the next few days. Does anybody have any surefire method for making them go away, other than just giving it time? I've never had one on my neck before, and unfortunately, I have several to deal with at this point in time. :redface: Sorry, steamroller, I didn't mean to threadjack. I thought the subject matter went along with your original post, so that's why I posted it on your thread.


Threadjack away! Sometimes it's fun to see where threads go...

And I have NO idea what takes away a hickey...I think this is the second one I've had in my lifetime!

shimmer728
12-18-2005, 05:06 PM
I'm not sure how to make them go away, either. My BF always gives me hickeys in the worst places--like the kind that are too high up to be hidden by a turtleneck. :mad:

WeirdBrake
12-18-2005, 05:42 PM
"Muffler burns." :p

shimmer728
12-18-2005, 06:38 PM
Yeah, according to the weird old guy who felt the need to point out my hickey to everyone around us.

wordsmith
12-18-2005, 09:17 PM
There is no way to make them disappear. I only allow them below a certain height. Ahem.

pinky
12-19-2005, 06:53 PM
its a bruise - time's the only cure...


as for the numbers... if you're pushin you late 20's... ya gotta figure that given even a late start of 19... a couple a year, with a couple of vacations thrown in and then the "running around phases of one-nite-stands" (whether this was a week or a couple of years...), I'd say 20's pretty conservative and even 30'd be considered normal.........

lol... and you asked because?...

ebruening
12-19-2005, 06:59 PM
There is no way to make them disappear. I only allow them below a certain height. Ahem.

Well, yes, they're below my neck, too. :cool: At one point, I actually said, "Slow down there, Speedracer. Save some for later, okay?" He nearly crashed and burned before he understood that there was no way in hell I was sleeping with him on the first date.

Evidently, you can even see them on the upper edges of my turtleneck sweaters, because my STUDENTS noticed them today :redface: I have never been so embarassed!

wordsmith
12-19-2005, 07:20 PM
Ohhhhhh, no...they'll NEVER forget, you know... :redface:

ebruening
12-19-2005, 07:26 PM
Yeah, I gathered as much when every class after that kept asking, "who is your boyfriend?" I was bright red most of the day. It's better for them to think that I have a boyfriend. I've taken down my OkCupid profile, because I'd be even more embarassed if they found that :redface: