Ever been told by a SO that you analyze things too much?

[modmagdalen79]

Has anyone that you've dated ever said you analyze things too much? I've been dating this guy for about 2 months. Great chemistry and similar interests. He's been pretty into me until lately when he's been more distant. I'm a pretty open person, I like to talk about things a lot and make sure we're on the same page in terms of where we see this relationship going. Mind you--I only became more open with him after he pretty much professed his love for me early on. Although he was very emotional with me at first, I'm coming to realize that his more natural state is to be emotionally closed off. For example, when he's in a bad mood he just wants to sulk but not tell me why he's in a bad mood. He also recently complained that he doesn't want to "talk about his emotions every day" with me and analyze our relationship so much. Whereas initially he was talking as if he could see himself marrying me, he now is saying he doesn't know what our future holds but he still wants to date me and no one else. Am I demanding too much from him too soon? I don't think I would have if he hadn't been so intense with me early on. I feel like now that I've held him accountable for his professions of love, he's withdrawing. Does this sound like more of a mars vs. venus thing? or does it sound like we're too different in terms of our emotional makeup? Should I try to stop "analyzing" things so much and just see where things go? Or should I get out of this before I wind up getting hurt? I think I do the analyzing thing because I'm scared of getting hurt and I want to take his emotional temperature before we get to deeply involved and I run the risk of getting hurt...

[shimmer728]

Keep with it a little longer, but be on your guard. To me, it sounds like he freaked himself out by talking about marriage so soon.

Or he could be having second thoughts. So like I said, keep dating him, but watch out for other signs of odd behavior.

Good luck and welcome to the boards! :)

[and1grad]

Should I try to stop "analyzing" things so much and just see where things go? Or should I get out of this before I wind up getting hurt?
STOP analyzing everything or you really wont have to worry about getting out of it as you will have destroyed your relationship. Like shim said, just keep dating.

[wordsmith]

If you're anything like me, you analyze as a way of protecting yourself...looking for signs that trouble is or isn't there so you don't get blindsided. A lot of people do this. Nobody likes to get hit by a missile out of nowhere, especially if they've had it happen, before.

I find I tend to to do a lot better with guys who are pretty open to begin with, because then I'm not perceived as digging...the signs I'm looking for are right on display.

[lorion11]

I think I've started a few posts on a similar situation.

I think women are definitely more 'analytical' than men. I like to take the 'emotional temperature' (I love that phrase BTW) of a guy before getting too deeply involved. Maybe that is thinking too much into it, but I've had the floor yanked from underneathe me too many times.

[wordsmith]

Totally.

(P.S. lorion, you're not on IM, but giving it a shot paid off!)

[lorion11]

STOP analyzing everything or you really wont have to worry about getting out of it as you will have destroyed your relationship. Like shim said, just keep dating.

But I think he has a few 'warning signs' so I think she should be on her guard a bit. Guys have a tendency to just jump into something and then pull away when they've opened up too much.

[and1grad]

I think I've started a few posts on a similar situation.

I think women are definitely more 'analytical' than men. I like to take the 'emotional temperature' (I love that phrase BTW) of a guy before getting too deeply involved. Maybe that is thinking too much into it, but I've had the floor yanked from underneathe me too many times.
I can respect protecting yourself if thats what you're doing but I wouldnt go as far as to say women are more analytical than men. Just not everything has some underlying, hidden meaning and I dont think most guys want to talk about how they feel about everything. That doesnt make you closed off. I think too often women relate to their men as another girlfriend and thats gonna cause you problems eventually. Sensitive guy or not.

[wordsmith]

Oh, but there are definitely guys who are closed off. They never work out well with me.

[wordsmith]

Guys have a tendency to just jump into something and then pull away when they've opened up too much.

Very, very true. I've had this happen more often than not, especially as an adult. I don't really trust the "false start" anymore.

[lorion11]

I can respect protecting yourself if thats what you're doing but I wouldnt go as far as to say women are more analytical than men.


I think I start protecting myself when I feel like the guy is giving me mixed signals. Makes me crazy insecure. I hate when they get really close to you and then pull away without explanation... THEN the crazy analyzing begins.


Just not everything has some underlying, hidden meaning and I dont think most guys want to talk about how they feel about everything.

I completely agree. Its just hard to pick out what has meaning and what doesn't.

[wordsmith]

Exactly...you have no way of knowing what's a bad sign and what's no big deal, when communication is bad. You have nothing to go on.

[and1grad]

Wouldnt having nothing to go on be a sign to stop?

(*sorry, dude, edited instead of quoted* --Jess)

[wordsmith]

Same, here. At this point, I'm trying to pretty much EXPECT that guys will come on strong, things will look promising, and a fade away is inevitable. It's such a trend.

[and1grad]

Me either! I almost want a guy to be much more reserved in the beginning. UNTIL he decides what he wants not acting on what he 'thinks' he wants.
Isnt that when you get the "so where is this going?" situation?

[wordsmith]

Wouldnt having nothing to go on be a sign to stop?



Stop the relationship? It could be...but like you said, it's also true that most guys just don't like to talk about things. So, the question becomes, is it something to worry about, or is it just normal closed-off-ness? And there's really no way to know, until it's too late. So that's the dilemma.

[and1grad]

So is your advice to just let it go, open up, and just let whatever happens happen?
sigh...thats words hitting the wrong button and adding to my post rather than just quoting it. :lol:

[wordsmith]

Yup, that was my post, not his. Fixed, now.

[and1grad]

Stop the relationship?
No, and I think you know what I meant.

[wordsmith]

But you get why it's confusing. I hope, at least.

If we're never supposed to ask about things, there's no way to ever know what's a red flag, and what's just normal.

[WeirdBrake]

A piece of wisdom by Judge Judy: "If you look for trouble, you're going to find it." Too much analysis can actually CREATE problems that weren't there to begin with.

[wordsmith]

But getting hurt by being afraid to communicate things, and leaving things unspoken because you know you'll get a big "Sigh, so we HAVE to talk about this," is a big problem, too. Talking about feelings, etc. may not be fun for most guys, but there are times when it's necessary to the success of a relationship. And things WILL fall apart if the girl is always afraid to bring something up because she knows the guy will be resistant to talking.

[Deadend]

If you're anything like me, you analyze as a way of protecting yourself...looking for signs that trouble is or isn't there so you don't get blindsided. A lot of people do this. Nobody likes to get hit by a missile out of nowhere, especially if they've had it happen, before.

Exactly. In and of itself being aware and thinking about ANYTHING is not a bad thing. Being analytical is a good thing.

In my feild of work it's a must. You can't be an engineer and not be analytical. HOWEVER, there are many many situations where you can be over analytical and not only is there not point, but all you're doing is setting yourself up for error. Worrying about extrenious details ("oh crap, does the energy balance?" "will friction change the answer?" "how do I know for sure that those can be linearly averaged?") is the BEST way to fail an exam that you otherwise know the material for.

No I don't think being analytical is a sin in and of itself, but there's a fine line to be drawn in the sand between analysis and paranoia, and there's no easy way to tell you where it is.

[and1grad]

But we're not talking about overall communication. We're talking about looking for an issue where there is none. I dont think anyone said dont bring concerns to the table, but dont interrogate someone based on nothing.

[Bugsey34]

I guess I am not like other girls because I HATE the "where are we going" discussion? So awkward.

[wordsmith]

But then you get into a lot of grey area. What's a concern for one party may not be for the other. Same with "nothing." One person sees a legitimate concern, the other sees it as nothing, and voila, conflict and potential upset.

[WeirdBrake]

But we're not talking about overall communication. We're talking about looking for an issue where there is none. I dont think anyone said dont bring concerns to the table, but dont interrogate someone based on nothing.

Exactly. Plus, if you look for an issue when there is none, you create a separate issue. People react to things. When you look for an issue when there is none, the other person starts to wonder why you THOUGHT this was an issue... and then THAT becomes the issue... and it feeds off of itself.

[Deadend]

So what do you define as "based on nothing". Sure don't interrogate someone out of the blue 'just cuz. But the OP talked about "distance", sometimes that's all you have to go on, and sometimes there are big reasons for it.

The normal cognitive process of looking for evidence just works like that. You base your search on some mandate, even as small as distance, and work from there. If there happens to be nothing there, then there happens to be nothing there, but if you say that, oh well then that means you shouldn't have looked then you're using the luxery of hindsight to declare what you should have known from the beggining.

I agree on the whole "creating something from nothing" point, and in fact made an alagory to my career with it. I just don't think that the simple act of inquirey constitutes it.

[wordsmith]

I guess I am not like other girls because I HATE the "where are we going" discussion? So awkward.

Well, obviously, I only like it if I AM concerned about where something is going. Actually, it's more of an it's necessary for me to know think than, wow, do I like having conversations the other person obviously doesn't want to have thing. If I'm not in the least bit concerned about where something is or isn't going, it's obviously not something that comes up. But I prefer discussions to being blindsided.

[cheshrcarol]

I guess I am not like other girls because I HATE the "where are we going" discussion? So awkward.I always want to know where I stand, but I don't usually want to have the discussion. For one, I hate being *that* girl. And it IS awkward in the stages when it's too early to know what you are.

[wordsmith]

I could care less about being *that* girl, because a guy who is really resistant to discussing where things are or aren't heading is being *that* guy, so that's just the way it goes. I don't feel like I ever have to make a case for wanting to know whether or not I should put my heart on the line or move on.

[and1grad]

I define nothing as...

I didnt compliment your new whatever...so now we have to have a discussion on why I obviously hate you.

I'm not smiling at the moment...clearly a discussion on why i'm not happy in the relationship is in order.

I'm not sure about that convoluted paragraph on hindsight but that hasnt factored into anything I've said thus far.

[wordsmith]

I would agree.

However, I've been rebuffed for wanting to discuss much larger scale issues, and told that it's overanalyzing. The "where is this going" discussion is a perfect example. It's important because it tells me whether I ought to cut my losses before I get in any deeper. It's not a trivial matter such as, "You didn't notice my highlights, so you hate me."

[RudeGirl]

I guess I am not like other girls because I HATE the "where are we going" discussion? So awkward.

I don't care about that one so much, but my boyfriend is always with the "What are you thinking about," and sometimes, it REALLY IS about nothing, or cheese, or Angelina Jolie, and he WON'T LET UP! :neutral:

I've often found that men betray their true feelings too early in a relationship as much as women do, and that, depending upon personality, anyone can feel compelled to cover up for them.


For example, when he's in a bad mood he just wants to sulk but not tell me why he's in a bad mood.

That sucks. I'm one of those sulking people, too. I know I'm not very fun when I'm pissed off.

[wordsmith]

I suppose I just want a guys actions and what he says to MATCH UP.

I agree, and I'd imagine that most people do. Mixed signals are never fun for the person on the receiving end. Things are hard enough to figure out without throwing in why it is that what somebody says they want doesn't seem to match how they are acting.

[coll214]

I've heard that about myself too. I've just gotten emotionally involved with guys before, that I shouldn't have. Just because we bring up the 'where is this going' relationship does NOT mean we are looking for a commitment. We want an idea of how safe it is to really start caring about the guy.

I suppose I just want a guys actions and what he says to MATCH UP. If he only wants to 'date' and be casual, I do not want him to act like he has mroe feelings for me then he actually has. In other words, a guy shouldn't open up and tell a girl he wants to be with her if he's not ready to back it up.
How very true. After some particuliar large road blocks in my last relationship, I pretty much demanded that we needed to talk and he took it as me being paranoid. Uh no buddy, you laid a bombshell and then didn't really want to talk about it, which is probally a large reason why it failed.

I try not to analyze but like everyone's said, sometimes you just need to know where you stand. And if you're supposed to be in an intimate relationship then talking should be a large part of it; whether it's about someone pulling away, or getting to attached too soon, etc.

[modmagdalen79]

Same, here. At this point, I'm trying to pretty much EXPECT that guys will come on strong, things will look promising, and a fade away is inevitable. It's such a trend.

Thanks for everyone's input! I don't want to get off the "what constitutes overanalyzing track" but Jess brought up a trend that I totally relate to. I've had a few instances of guys falling head over heals in the beginning and then once I start reciprocating they pull away. And I don't think it's a ploy to get me into bed with them (I haven't even slept with the guy in question)...I think I've got a lot to offer more than just looks, so I don't want to think it's just a lust thing that fades away once they get to know me...but perhaps it is? or perhaps they just realize they can't back up the level of committment that they originally professed?

[modmagdalen79]

plus, I'm pretty sure my guy has a "fear of letting people down" complex...he's always negating compliments (for instance, saying I shouldn't miss him when I go home for the holidays)...

[wordsmith]

I'm not sure. I try not to be a complete cynic, and consider that guys might come on strong and then panic and withdraw, in some cases...not that the intial strength of feelings was a lie, but that they for some reason feel compelled to reign it in. I'm not sure if that's true, or a lie I tell myself to make myself feel better. I like to think that initial enthusiasm isn't always BS, but I don't want to be naive, either. I almost don't trust initial enthusiasm as sincere at all anymore, though. I'm flattered by it, but I file it away, and think...yeah...we'll just see if this is real.

[lorion11]

I like to think that initial enthusiasm isn't always BS, but I don't want to be naive, either. I almost don't trust initial enthusiasm as sincere at all anymore, though. I'm flattered by it, but I file it away, and think...yeah...we'll just see if this is real.

I think that summed up my last relationship :p But when I called my guy out on his 'change of behavior' he said I was wrong. After we were over he admitted to reigning it in. And he wonders why I was so confused about his mixed signals. :neutral:

I think guys just need to be more careful when they start to date a girl. Don't act like you're into a girl if you are not 100% sure.

[wordsmith]

Don't act like you're into a girl if you are not 100% sure.

Very true. I will always be sincere in my interest (or lack thereof). I don't think it's unfair to expect that as well. But i never trust that I will get sincerity anymore.

[Skyblade]

I know I am very analytical about my relationship and it has caused some problems. I would just say to try to focus on whether YOU are enjoying yourself in the relationship and don't worry so much about his reactions. Sometimes I'm so busy analyzing the relationship that I miss out on the fun part of being w/ someone.

[Deadend]

I define nothing as...

I didnt compliment your new whatever...so now we have to have a discussion on why I obviously hate you.

I'm not smiling at the moment...clearly a discussion on why i'm not happy in the relationship is in order.

I'm not sure about that convoluted paragraph on hindsight but that hasnt factored into anything I've said thus far.

Well if you don't like it, feel free to rephrase it.

In the meantime I'm talking about analysis, and you're giving examples of insecurity. So by that token, I can't see how this factors into anything I've said thus far.

[lorion11]

I know I am very analytical about my relationship and it has caused some problems. I would just say to try to focus on whether YOU are enjoying yourself in the relationship and don't worry so much about his reactions. Sometimes I'm so busy analyzing the relationship that I miss out on the fun part of being w/ someone.

Or I am so busy analyzing how he is feeling, that I don't even realize I don't like him all that much as a person. Or I am so worried about where it is going that I don't realize I'm not even happy :neutral:

[WeirdBrake]

Well if you don't like it, feel free to rephrase it.

Why should he have to rephrase it? You're the one who wrote it!!! lol

[and1grad]

So what do you define as "based on nothing".
This is what you asked...which was answered. The "analysis" is BASED on insecurity in the relationship so it actually DOES factor DIRECTLY into your argument.

[wordsmith]

Most people are going to be insecure in a relationship where they aren't sure if their feelings are returned, and if the other party balks at discussing the same, it only feeds that. That's pretty understandable.

[lorion11]

Most people are going to be insecure in a relationship where they aren't sure if their feelings are returned, and if the other party balks at discussing the same, it only feeds that. That's pretty understandable.

No one wants to get hurt. I don't understand the point in letting your feelings grow for someone who is only looking 'to date' for fun. Why get emotionally involved with someone who is not looking for an actual relationship.

[shimmer728]

I've experienced the whole fade-away phenomenon, too. Bizarre. As I said in my first post on this thread, I tend to think the guys just freak themselves out by coming on too strong, and so they back off. But I'm very often talking out of my ass when it comes to stuff like this, so don't mind me. :p

[Deadend]

Why should he have to rephrase it? You're the one who wrote it!!! lol

But I'm not the one unhappy with it. :D

______________________________

So then what's the differance between being insecure, and being legitmately concerned? Because if it comes down to, "wheather or not you were actually picking up on something", then you're basing that distinction on hindsight.

[wordsmith]

No one wants to get hurt. I don't understand the point in letting your feelings grow for someone who is only looking 'to date' for fun. Why get emotionally involved with someone who is not looking for an actual relationship.

The implication is that insecurity in a relationship is a poor reflection on the woman and that she's just overreacting, correct me if I'm wrong. But I don't think that's true. I don't feel frightened for the future of a relationship unless something's wrong.

If there is something WRONG in the relationship (as there often is when discussion is dodged), why would one NOT be insecure? Of course you're going to be insecure in a relationship where there's a problem that's not open for discussion. That doesn't make for a secure relationship.

[PVD99]

The last time a guy told me that I overanalyze too much was when the relationship went to pieces. I think that if it is bothering him, it might be a personality conflict between you guys. I naturally overanalyze, and I've been with other people and they didn't mind/notice it too much(weren't bothered by it) but this guy couldn't STAND it. It was like he didn't want to analyze ANYTHIGN or think about anything deeper than it was. I'm sorry, but it's just my nature. I can't change that.

[PVD99]

If there is something WRONG in the relationship (as there often is when discussion is dodged), why would one NOT be insecure? Of course you're going to be insecure in a relationship where there's a problem that's not open for discussion. That doesn't make for a secure relationship.

I totally agree with this. How can a girl NOT be insecure if the guy is so hot in the beginning (calling you constantly, wanting to see you a lot) and then just backs off? What I am trying to do is change how I react to those types of situations, and for the future I am going to act like I don't care. When I acted as if I cared that things weren't going well, he ran away even faster.

I feel like when the right thing comes along, there will be very little overanalyzing because things will just feel right on both sides. That is when there is a good match.

[and1grad]

(as there often is when discussion is dodged)
This is the mentality that influences this whole circumstance. Not wanting to talk about some particular thing is always seen as dodging. It doesnt even need to have anything to do with the person asking. All of a sudden, you're keeping something from the other person. Its silly.

[shimmer728]

I feel like when the right thing comes along, there will be very little overanalyzing because things will just feel right on both sides. That is when there is a good match.

Honestly, this is what I really like about my current relationship. I'm very overanalytical, too--it's just my nature--but I can't say I've ever had any real doubts that my BF wasn't into me. Even in the beginning.

[lorion11]

How can a girl NOT be insecure if the guy is so hot in the beginning (calling you constantly, wanting to see you a lot) and then just backs off?

EXACTLY! I have no idea why guys do this. Do they just panic and worry that they like you too much too quickly, or were they just unsuccessful in getting into your pants.

[and1grad]

EXACTLY! I have no idea why guys do this. Do they just panic and worry that they like you too much too quickly, or were they just unsuccessful in getting into your pants.
HA! I hope its more of the former.

[PVD99]

I am hoping that maybe they just back off because they're scared, but from what I've heard it's just because "they decided they didn't like you anymore". But why would you just be so off the wall HOT for someone and then be like "I CANT I CANT"... makes no sense.

[wordsmith]

Relationships invite overanalysis because they're complicated. It's just the way it is. Anybody who says they understand them or have them figured out is full of it. If they were simple, nobody'd ever have a problem in the world. But there's too much room for crossed wires, interference, missed or misinterpreted signals, moodiness, a million thing that can be taken a million different ways...talking it out is a pain, but a necessary evil, or misunderstandings and misapprehensions take on a life of their own.

I really, really wish I could believe that when a guy is all about you, and then suddenly, just like that, is not anymore, it's because he got thrown into some kind of "Oh, shit, did I move too fast, better back off" panic...but I think it's wishful thinking, sadly. I think many guys just really do lose interest overnight.

[lorion11]

talking it out is a pain, but a necessary evil, or misunderstandings and misapprehensions take on a life of their own.

Well said! If something is really bothering me, I feel better if I bring it up. Although I try to make the conversation light enough so the guy doesn't feel attacked. Instead of putting blame on him I just like to say how his actions make me feel (or not feel). I just want to bring it up, discuss it quickly, and move on. I hate arguements, but if someone cares about you enough they are willing to 'talk it out'.

I think many guys just really do lose interest overnight.

I agree. I think women are much more willing to try to work things out before giving up.

[Bugsey34]

I agree with PVD that a lot of this could just be personality clashes within a relationship, too. You have to take people at an individual level, not just label all guys as one way or all women as another way just because a couple people acted one way.

I have been with both guys that were WAY more analytical and "let's talk about the relationship for 4 hours" than I am, and guys that are much less so. When I am with a guy that is much less so I must say it makes me want to talk about it more.

[Deadend]

Relationships invite overanalysis because they're complicated. It's just the way it is. Anybody who says they understand them or have them figured out is full of it. If they were simple, nobody'd ever have a problem in the world. But there's too much room for crossed wires, interference, missed or misinterpreted signals, moodiness, a million thing that can be taken a million different ways...talking it out is a pain, but a necessary evil, or misunderstandings and misapprehensions take on a life of their own.


I tottaly agree with this. Quite frankly, "I just don't want to talk about it, just cuz" is an extremely selfish way to approach it if your partner is noticably distressed. Yes, we all know women have been known to pick fights this way, but that hardly justifies not having to hear them out. The fact is there's no simple way out of it, human drama that is. If you think you can avoid it by simply "not being too analytical" or whatever, please relay that message to Sartre in hell for me.

Guys, with that attitude, we only justify these views that men only want women as a comodity, and that we prefer they be silent like trophies until sex.

[lorion11]

Women are more emotional than men. That's a fact. I think when I confront a guy on the "Where do we stand" issue I do so in a straightforward and honest fashion. I never get upset or cry or even act emotional. I don't mind WHAT the answer is as much as I just want an answer. There were a few dating situations that would have gone better if the guy was just upfront. Even a "I don't want anything serious" answer is fine.. that's when I can just relax, have fun with the guy, and not let my emotions get in the mix as much.

[WeirdBrake]

Women are more emotional than men. That's a fact.

You have no basis for saying this.

You have to take people at an individual level, not just label all guys as one way or all women as another way just because a couple people acted one way.

Good point.

[lorion11]

Sorry, I meant it more as a generalization.

[WeirdBrake]

But even as a generalization, I think it's still wrong. There's a lot to be said for gender differences, but nothing in either psychology or neuroscience supports the idea that women's emotional experience-- in range, intensity, etc.-- is generally larger than that of men's.

[wordsmith]

It's fair to say that not every guy is a freakshow who cringes from verbalizing feelings. It's also fair to say that not every woman disintegrates into a blubbering pile of snot if we get home and our boyfriend isn't very talkative.

But it's also true that people are speaking from their experiences. If I say, "I've only known men to resent talking about their feelings," (which I didn't say, it's just an example), who is to argue with me on that, say, "Um, no, that's not true?" People will talk from their own experiences. And often, it's more than just "A couple of guys did this," or "A couple of guys did that." If every guy I've ever dated has abandoned me (also not true, but for examples' sake), while it's not right to say, "All guys bail on you," there's no reason I can't say, "Every guy I know has bailed on me, and so I don't trust in anything but that."

[WeirdBrake]

It's fair to say that not every guy is a freakshow who cringes from verbalizing feelings. It's also fair to say that not every woman disintegrates into a blubbering pile of snot if we get home and our boyfriend isn't very talkative.

But it's also true that people are speaking from their experiences. If I say, "I've only known men to resent talking about their feelings," (which I didn't say, it's just an example), who is to argue with me on that, say, "Um, no, that's not true?" People will talk from their own experiences. And often, it's more than just "A couple of guys did this," or "A couple of guys did that." If every guy I've ever dated has abandoned me (also not true, but for examples' sake), while it's not right to say, "All guys bail on you," there's no reason I can't say, "Every guy I know has bailed on me, and so I don't trust in anything but that."

But that's not what lorion said. She didn't confine it to her own experiences. She simply said, "Women are more emotional than men. That's a fact."

[WeirdBrake]

I was speaking from my own experience. I've never met a guy that says "Please... tell me how you are feeling and let's talk it out." I'd say MOST of the guys I've dated did not enjoy talking about the relationship. Whenever I have brought up these kinds of discussions I can feel that the guy gets very "Uh-oh" about going down that conversational road.

Again, there's a big difference between "Most of the guys I dated did X" and "Most guys do X."

[wordsmith]

Well, I'm just speaking for myself, then. I never say "All guys do x." But if you DO, I will call you on it every time.

[lorion11]

Everyone has their 'triggers' that make them feel a certain way. My 'trigger' switch is mixed signals or when a guy quickly changes his behavior. Makes me start to feel insecure and question if I should let myself be emotionally involved or not.

[WeirdBrake]

Well, I'm just speaking for myself, then. I never say "All guys do x." But if you DO, I will call you on it every time.

What are you talking about? :confused:

[Deadend]

What are you talking about? :confused:\\

Sexual relationships... duh!

[wordsmith]

I'm saying that nothing I posted generalizes. It speaks to specific people and events. Just speaking for myself. Be an ass, I'll say, "Hey, you're an ass." I won't say "You just proved that all guys are asses." That's all.

[WeirdBrake]

I'm saying that nothing I posted generalizes. It speaks to specific people and events. Just speaking for myself. Be an ass, I'll say, "Hey, you're an ass." I won't say "You just proved that all guys are asses." That's all.

But I wasn't referring to you at all. I was referring to lorion's previous statement, which she later clarified. You understood that, right?

[wordsmith]

No, I half expected the entire thread to cause offense.