A Christmas Story

[and1grad]

I was having a convo with my cousin about how I'm OVER this whole Christmas thing and I was telling him about how I dont even understand why this holiday exists anymore. I'm pretty sure historians say that Jesus' birthday would've been around August so thats out. And the whole Santa Claus thing...why? How did that come about?

I decided that it HAD TO have been a story told to shut a kid up. You know how kids love to ask stupid questions until you get annoyed? I think this is what happened...

Kid: Dad, how did these presents get here?
Dad looks at kid with awe at the absurdity of the question
Dad: (sarcastically) A fat guy just showed up and put em there. Damndest thing.
Kid: Really?
Dad: Ya, he does that for all the kids.
Kid: Wow, how does he get in?
Dad: He just comes down the chimney right there.
Kid: How does he fit?
Dad: I think he's got this magic coat that lets him slide right through and good pants that dont snag.
Kid: Snag?
Dad: Ya well you've gotta have a helluva sack to come down a man's chimney into his house.
Kid: Sack?
Dad: (catching self) Of gifts, I mean. Gifts, right? Gotta put em somewhere.

....This, folks, is the beginning of the story of Santa Claus, as far as I'm concerned. It probably just got a bunch of junk (no pun intended) added to it as generations passed. Little did parents know, you just cant shut a kid up. :)

I kid. :neutral: ;)

[shimmer728]

What a scrooge. ;)

[WeirdBrake]

Some people think that Ebenezer Scrooge is... well, he isn't. But you know who is?

[winneythepooh7]

LOL. I believe that Christmas is an AMERICAN holiday created by the retail chains to make money and leave us all broke and pissed off. Plus, it makes us all fat too with all the food we eat in excess. Plus it makes us mean by dealing with crowds, packed roads, etc. etc. My boyfriend and I were talking about adopting a new tradition of doing a Secret Santa for one person in the immediate family next year, and then donating money to a local charity. Combined with that, taking our vacation faraway from here so we don't have to deal. His mom got pissed off when he told her this...........

[pisces2473]

Some people think that Ebenezer Scrooge is... well, he isn't. But you know who is?
ALL THREE STOOGES!!!

[shimmer728]

All Three Stooges!

[WeirdBrake]

We've got Ann Landers, and her sister Dear Abby. Harrison Ford is a quarter Jewish...

[meatwad]

My grandma's boobs are saggy!

[tina1979]

Courtesy of the history channel: The legend of Saint Nicholas (http://www.historychannel.com/exhibits/holidays/christmas/santa.html)

[SmilesSoSweet]

My niece and nephew kept constantly asking if Santa was going to stop by my parents' house (they and their parents - my cousin live with my parents). My sister and I told them that he would as long as they have been good. We also went to midnight mass and all day before going to mass I told them that Santa won't be here until we go to mass to celebrate Jesus first. Their parents are practicing Catholics (I am too, but not as holy as the hard-core Catholics) so I just wanted to make sure that they understood the main reason of Christmas. My nephew who's seven was a pain in the ass because he constantly kept looking under the tree for any gifts that had his name. I made sure I put his in the back of the tree and hidden from the rest of them just so he wouldn't get to them.

[K-man]

My favorite Chrismas story of all time:

Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus (Originally published in The New York Sun in 1897.)

We take pleasure in answering thus prominently the communication below, expressing at the same time our great gratification that its faithful author is numbered among the friends of The Sun:

Dear Editor—
I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, “If you see it in The Sun, it’s so.” Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?
Virginia O’Hanlon

Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men’s or children’s, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The external light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You tear apart the baby’s rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

[uscuba2]

LOL. I believe that Christmas is an AMERICAN holiday created by the retail chains to make money and leave us all broke and pissed off.
really then how do you explain all of the christmass before the usa exsisted?

[pisces2473]

She was being SARCASTIC. :rolleyes: