View Full Version : God help me...

12-27-2005, 04:04 PM
I'm on the phone right now with this woman...blabbering about Bibles...and she won't shut up.

Any one else have any other customer service stories?

12-27-2005, 04:09 PM
Phew, she ordered two different ones and is FINALLY off the phone.

"I called EWTN, it's a cable program on the television down in Alabama,* and the fellow there said there is a new copy of the Jerusalem bible out."


*like I don't know what EWTN is...

12-27-2005, 04:20 PM
I once had a woman tell me the register added the total up wrong. We agreed that the receipt showed only what she purchased, but she was convinced the math was wrong. How the hell would that happen anyway?

12-27-2005, 04:24 PM
"That's nice. Amazon said my new copy of the Necronomicon should be in in a couple days!"

12-27-2005, 04:34 PM
I just realized I made an unintentional pun with the "god help me" and the lady looking for bibles. This lady is a pain in the ass...she always wants these RANDOM ASS religious books. GRRR!

12-27-2005, 05:02 PM
Hah! Well, it's not customer service, exactly, but I'm sure you can imagine when you are putting out a newspaper, the number of crackpot calls you get. The tons of calls I get that are simply advertising being presented as "BIG NEWS STORIES!!!!" are one thing...annoying, but I put them off by saying, "Mmmm hmmm, can you sent that to my e-mail, thanks, we'll review it, click." It's the crazy consipiracy theorists and random weirdos with their "stories" who provide me with the most bizarre conversations.

Once, during county board elections, I got an anonymous call (which are crap, we don't do anonymous opinion pieces, anonymous sources, or anonymous anything, put your name to it or you have no credibility) with some dude asking me if I was aware that one of the candidates ran a Rolls-Royce chop shop, (WTF??), and that perhaps I should be a more knowledgeable about the candidates prior to running their profiles in the paper. Mmmkay. When I pressed him for more details, including his identitiy and any reason I should listen to him, and he was all "Never you mind...you don't need to worry about who I am."

Another time, I got a call from a guy who wanted me to look up a plane crash in the outlying area in the 1970s, because he was convinced it was a DEA coverup, a then-local sheriff's deputy was at the bottom of it, and something about white slavery and child pornography rings and the Rockefellers were implicated. He ranted and raved for about 25 minutes solid, with me not even able to get an "Mmmhmm" in edgewise. I'd have thought it was a joke, except that they guy never broke his stride even once, or checked for my reaction. Finally, he paused, and said. "And that's all. Thanks for your time." Click. :confused:

12-27-2005, 05:09 PM
We used to have a lady call and leave messages on vm about russians, and someone would be carrying a yellow umbrella, and not letting "retarded kids" on airplanes. She would leave whispered messages of numbers saying that they were secret codes and talking about the KGB. I can't remember the sories specifially anymore because it was a couple of years ago, but because we were an international money exchange we had to get the police involved at one point. Turns out she was some lady not taking her meds.

12-27-2005, 05:51 PM
One guy came in, toured around the store, and then said he was disappointed in us for not having any puzzles in "God's colours". WTH? When we asked exactly what God's colours were, he couldn't describe it, but he knew we didn't have it.

Last week a lady came in looking for some books for family members and kept changing who the books were for. She told me she wanted a book for her 20 year old daughter, and after half an hour of going around the store, giving her detailed descriptions of books (she couldn't settle for anything less), I made a comment about the book I was showing her being popular with twenty-something year olds, so her daughter may have heard of it. She then informed me that she didn't have a daughter and she was looking for a book for her 50-something year old SIL. Huh? She did the same thing to my co-worker, described who she was looking for, and then changing it completely after showing her the books. And she spent nearly 3 hours in the store. It was SO weird.

12-29-2005, 08:16 PM
lmao @ "God's colours"...

I had a call yesterday from a woman looking for sweatpants with the YMCA logo on them. I told her we didn't have any but she could buy sweatpants from any store like Target, etc...she was very interested in finding out where pants with the Y logo could be found and proceeded to ask me to send her a catalogue of YMCA merchandise (does such a thing exist? It's not like the Y is a clothing company)...

12-30-2005, 09:50 AM
YMCA logo apparel. (http://www.ymcamemberstore.org/) Evidently the proceeds go totally toward Y programs.