Sharing my QLC

[Faze]

I thought I would share my experience and current journey through my 20's.

This maybe just like everyone else but I feel like venting and geting this out so here goes. I am just having a crappy day.

Well I graduated fom University in 2000 with a Computer Science degree here in Canada. My last 2 years of university were mainly commited ot my studies where I did wahtever I could to ensure my sucsess after I graduated. I had this anxiety of finding the right job and being financially independent and not worrying about money. During my time at University I had a serious relationship that last 3 years, and I learnt alot during my time with my ex.

After graduating me and my ex broke up because of the distance involved from my home and university where she was located. I did a post graduate diploma unable and having no confidence in securing a job. After my post graduate course I am now working and making some good money, and getting some great experience.

I feel my career will progess and continue and now I wonder if I will find anyone worth spending th rest of my life with. I feel like I am a 27 year old in a 22 year old body. I dont want the same things my freinds want. I was something serious as I have had my fun in unversity with dating and girl friends.

I guess much of this might be impatients but I really think and wonder what the future hold for me. I have been single for a year now and its kind of frustrating. I met a girl a couple of weeks back and that really didnt work out.

I have a great career / future, I consider my self to be mature and smart, and I know what I want. But with all that said I would like to hear other peoples opinions / experiences who might be thinking or have gone through the same thing. Any suggestion on dealing with something like this would be helpful.

[yellow]

i really think you just have to keep a positive attitude and keep on moving forward. i understand why you're frustrated with not being able to find someone but in life we must be patient. i have always found that if i wait on things and be patient it might work out for the best. in the meantime keep the faith (whatever that might be for you) and never ever give up hope!

[Faze]

Thanks for the advice...

I got my act together. I realized many things this weekend and I am not worried as much anymore..Its weird

Thanks /phpBB/images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

[yellow]

thats great to hear. we all have moments when things seem worse than they really are!

[glittergrrl8780]

This is the first time I'm posting here but after reading a few posts, I figured someone might be able to help me. A forewarning, this is l-o-n-g... I turned 21 6 months ago, did 2 years of being undecided at a nearby PennState satellite campus right out of high school, transfered to another nearby University for what I thought was what I want to do in life- pharmacy and have been there for 2 years struggling to make the grade and not being really happy in my classes. I've been with someone exclusively for 7months and I couldn't be happier. I knew him for about a year and were friends before he asked me to a movie. I've had 2 other serious relationships but never felt this strongly about anyone before. I'm in love with him and I can't find a reason why he's not my soulmate. (He's 20 and has dated numerous girls before me.) I didn't want to turn 21, maybe because of the fear of change or the anxiety of peer pressure to go out and drink every weekend. (I lived in an apartment with 2 other friends during my 2 years of being undecided at PennState so I had my share of parties and drinking.) I absolutely hate the bar scene. I went to a few but right after 9-11, looking around a bar and seeing a majority of people who are olivious to what just happened to thousands of people and instead are looking to hook up or just get totally trashed amazed me. Also the fact that to me it seems that 99% of people in bars are all just trying to fit in with each other instead of being their own people turns me off. I was aquainted with QLC while reading my Univ. paper. I am not sure if I want to go through with my major. By the time I graduate I will have been in school for 8 years (assuming I'm accepted into professional pharm school for fall '02), and be 26. My feelings on pharmacy are that it will support me financially if I happen to be alone. I like my job at a pharmacy now, been there 5 years. I struggle with classes and I dislike school. Sometimes I think that I may be the kind of person that just doesn't enjoy school and that I'll stay in pharm. unless what I really want to do hits me. I figure, in the meantime, I may as well work towards something. I just think that if I liked my major I would do better in school and I'd like school itself. Another problem is that numerous times I feel like I'm just not smart enough. My father is a huge part in that because he was the kind of parent that would frequently ask, "is that the best you could do?" and wouldn't ever show how proud he'd be with the accomplishments that I'd be proud of myself for. That's where my feelings of inadequacy come from. I catch myself always trying to please people. I think that I think about things too much and over analyze things, like things my boyfriend says, or at the very least read too much into things. After reading about how alot of you have broken off seemingly good relationships around 25 make me fear him turning 25 or even myself. I can picture us married (long ways away); we're each others best friends. Overall, I'm happy with myself. I spent 2 years doing things for just me. I can't think of anything else right now but all of this on my mind constantly is draining me. Does anyone have any thoughts on what I'm going through? HELP!

[Phoenix]

Well, I don't know that my thoughts will help :) but I thought I'd post a reply anyway... For some reason, when I hit 21, I was kind of freaked out. I felt like I had hit a crisis for some reason, although at the time I couldn't think of a reason that I should feel that way. I think part of the anxiety came from feeling like since I was 21, I was now an "adult" - I could drink legally and was closer to graduation and the "real world" than I was before. Therefore, the pressure was greater to figure out my course in life. I was unhappy in my major (but just pushed forward and completed the degree anyway since I was so close to graduation and didn't want to invest more time and money into a change of major). So...there I was...close to graduation and not knowing (and I'm still not quite knowing!) where I wanted to go and what I wanted to be in life.

My advice on your situation: first of all, don't worry so much about what your father thinks. If you're proud of your accomplishments, good for you! That's all you need (although I know that your father's approval does mean something to you and isn't something that you can easily ignore). He may not understand what you went through or how hard it was to accomplish what you did. And therefore, he may only see his view point and think that you could have done better because of "this or that." It's always easier said than done, but as long as you know you did your best and that you're proud of your accomplishments, then that's what matters in the end.

As far as school is concerned, my only suggestion would be to explore some elective classes (if you have room for them in your schedule) in something else that you are interested in (art, dance, literature, history, etc.). You may find something that you'd like to major in better than pharmacy -- or at least do a minor or perhaps a second major (if you have the time and energy - I'm thinking you have a pretty full load as a pharmacy major). Although, if you like the job you have at the pharmacy, maybe that really is the major for you, but you just have to push through school to do it. That, of course, is a decision entirely up to you. Don't worry about being 26 when you graduate, though, if this is a path you want to take. You'll still be young and the world will still be there waiting.

About your relationship - don't worry about turning 25 and things taking a downturn. That may happen to some people, but I'm sure it's not the case for everyone, as people and circumstances are different. Also, that's 4 years away yet...so if you make each other happy, enjoy your good fortune, enjoy your time together, and see where it goes! :)

Good luck!

[glittergrrl8780]

Phoenix,
Thanks for the reply. Someone else's opinion and advice help to put things into perspective. It also helps when I feel like I can express this stuff and know there are people who'll listen.
Gina

[Phoenix]

No problem, Gina. If you need an ear again sometime, drop me a line!
Phoenix