Teaching - can I continue?

[ebruening]

I am an anxious mess these days, because contract renewals are coming up, and I'm scared to death that my contract won't be renewed. Simply put, I haven't been any sort of "shining star of education" this year...not by a LONG shot. I'm not engaging the kids well at all :neutral: I'm terrified that I'll get a "we appreciated your effort, but we need to find someone else" response this spring, when everybody else gets their contract, and they have to explain why I didn't. Yes, I put forth a lot of effort, but with VERY minimal results. Trying simply isn't good enough, and I don't know that I've produced anything this year that will prove the school district should keep me around for another year. :cry: The other "new" teachers have all had something said to them by the principal indicating that they'd be asked back next year. I haven't heard anything, so I assume that means I'm on my way out.

So, my question for fellow teachers is this: if I am not asked back next year, how much will that affect my ability to get another teaching job? Obviously, interviewers will ask why I left my current position, and I'll have to tell them that I was canned for not producing quality results. The sad part is that I don't see myself getting any better; I try things that I think will work, and they don't. I'm a nervous wreck, I'm extremely down about the fact that my lesson plans don't seem to help the kids "get" it , and I can't engage the kids at all :redface: I don't know what to do if I don't teach :confused: :cry: :(

As an endnote, thank you for "listening" to my complete professional breakdown. I am a MESS and a half right now.

[wordsmith]

Erika, I was in a very similar position, once. Feel free to IM me anytime.

[capella]

It is possible to get another job after not being reassigned. It happened to my husband last year and he's doing fine. The best thing would be to decline to return on your own and find a better fitting school *ahem, Florida, ahem* :)

You can only do so much. Most of my kids don't "get" it. It's not a fault on my part though. I make the best lesson I can and if they don't want to try they don't learn. Period. I'd say about 30% of my kids really put in effort and 20% of those are advanced kids. It makes me sad and worried for our future generation.

[yankeeyosh]

{{{Erika}}} I'm not a teacher, but I know the circumstances you're under. The best thing you can do is relax, and try to think positively. How do you know you're underperforming? I mean, it's very hard to judge how you're doing compared to others when everyone is working in totally different rooms. You might be doing better than you think...maybe you should speak to the principal, and discuss your performance, and see what could be done to improve. I am sure (s)he would appreciate you being conscientious about your job.

[dengeist]

Erika,

I know what you're feeling. During this time of year, you always get a kind of foreboding feeling. I have tenure and I still feel like something randomly terrible will happen around this time and I'll lose my job. It's normal to feel the way you do and also remember, the principal always has their favorite new teachers.

This is the funky time of year. An experienced teacher once told me kids aren't going to learn much after Christmas. To me it seems this is true for some kids. Just try not to lose it, for some reason kids can smell that. A few changes might be in order in management. Kids get tired of the routine and sometimes need a little shake up.

Hang in there, we know how it is and we know you're doing the best you can!

[ebruening]

Mark - I know I am "underperforming" because 25% of my students last semester earned below a "C." Granted, they earned that grade fair and square by not turning in homework, but other teachers GET those kids to turn in homework. When they turn in work for other teachers, but not for me, that signals that I can't reach them.

Dengeist - I am so worried about not being asked back next year that I can't hardly talk to any other teachers anymore. I know, it seems stupid, but I don't want to get close to them, and then have to break off a lot of close friendships when my contract isn't renewed. Maybe I'm not cut out for this job. I don't know. :confused:

Capella - The word is that we won't find out about contracts until March or even April this year; that's only a few months for me to start looking :eek: I don't even know where to start, simply because I'm so paralyzed by the prospect of not getting reassigned. We've talked about my district, and you know the things that are going on there, but I can't bring myself to start looking if I know I'm going to be canned anyway.

I just wish they'd be kind enough to tell me early that I haven't been asked back. If I'm going to be fired, I want to be fired early, and not have to scramble for another position. I sound and feel very irrational right now. I've cried for most of the past three hours, because I don't know what to do next. I'm 99.9% sure I won't be asked back, even though my initial review was very positive, and nobody has said anything about improving my performance. I just get the general impression that they are letting it ride until contract renewals come up, while I screw up an entire year of ninth graders (which is sickening for me to even think about), and then they will let me go. I know full well that I'm nobody's favorite, and I don't expect to be. Bottom line: I'm trying, but I don't know how to reach these kids, I don't have stellar rapport with them, the staff tolerates me but doesn't really care one way or another if I stay, and I think the principal is just letting me do my own thing until contract time, because he knows I'm out the door anyway.

I've talked to my principal before about improving my performance, and he says, "you're doing fine," but without much conviction. I guess I'm still immature enough that I need something more than that for "praise," if you can even call it that. I'm to the point now, where I wish someone would pull me aside and say, "look, kid, you can't do this. Maybe you should look for another career before you get too entrenched in something you can't do."

[MollyMe]

So the kids are little twerps who won't turn in homework? Besides being a teacher, you now have to be a motivator. And motivation for what? Regardless of whether or not they turn in their homework, they will still pass? That's tough. Do you know how other teachers are getting their students to turn in homework? It would seem like a common problem that more experienced teachers could give you pointers on.

[EmberMae]

Mark - I know I am "underperforming" because 25% of my students last semester earned below a "C." Granted, they earned that grade fair and square by not turning in homework, but other teachers GET those kids to turn in homework. When they turn in work for other teachers, but not for me, that signals that I can't reach them.

I had the exact same issue when I taught. I didn't have the rapport, and I had no idea how to get it. It's walking a fine line with high schoolers. If you are too nice they will walk all over you, but if you're not they will hate you and refuse to do any work because of that. I can't offer any advice though. I felt like such a failure that I became deeply depressed and quit in December.

Most places will ask if you haven't had a contract renewed before. They may hire you anyway but be prepared to explain what you did wrong and how you've figured out how to improve. I couldn't ever figure out what I was doing wrong, that's the problem.

[ebruening]

So the kids are little twerps who won't turn in homework? Besides being a teacher, you now have to be a motivator. And motivation for what? Regardless of whether or not they turn in their homework, they will still pass? That's tough. Do you know how other teachers are getting their students to turn in homework? It would seem like a common problem that more experienced teachers could give you pointers on.

MollyMe - I have spoken with veteran teachers, and they've all said that your reputation precedes you when getting kids to turn in homework. I am new this year, so I have no reputation to precede me :neutral: In any case, no, kids who don't turn in at least a certain amount of homework assignments do not pass my class. I don't jive with our middle school's philosophy of building self-esteem over encouraging academic accountability. I don't think I'm too difficult, though, because we review vocab in some form (I've made flashcards, we've had "words of the day," we've read newspaper articles containing the vocab words) for our daily "warm up" activities in class, and I take ALL of my quiz and, consequently, test questions directly off the study guide for each unit. I give my students their essay in advance, so they can practice...in other words, I want the essay they do on their test to be the "final draft" of something that was revised several times over.

I love working with kids; I wish I COULD be a better motivator. I enjoy talkign with kids and seeing what they're interested in, hopefully tapping into that interest with classroom activities. I knew this would be part of the job going in, and I genuinely enjoy it. Unfortunately, my results aren't squaring up with my goals/objectives in terms of motivating students to be "excited" about literature, writing, cultural studies, etc. :redface:

[capella]

Erika, it sounds like you're doing all you can to reach the kids. Quite frankly, your job title isn't Entertainer. Forget it. Do they think that their future employers are going to pat them on the back and say, "Well now Johnny, I know you don't have that report ready that I asked for but let's just say you do it tomorrow or the next day and don't stress too much. How about a nice video game break?" Yeah-freakin-right.

Give me a break. If the lazy little bastards aren't doing their work then they deserve the grade they get. Their motivation ought to be their future lives and if they don't get that or don't care about that it is NOT A FAILURE ON YOUR PART. See that. Read it again. It is not your fault. So maybe they like the other subject better and turn in homework there. Maybe that homework is easier. Maybe they aren't being asked to do much and so they don't mind. You are not a failure because you have high standards.

I think you're being too hard on yourself. Don't base your opinion on how well you're doing on other busy stressed out educators. I think you ought to voluntarily say I'm not coming back here next year so that you don't have to explain why you weren't reassigned (if that were even to happen). Make a choice here and don't wait for them to make one for you. If you aren't happy there, chances are it's not the right place for you AND that has nothing to do with your ability as an educator.

Smile, take a break and have a restful weekend, mmmmkay?? :) :cool:

[dengeist]

I agree with Amy, you ARE being waaaay too hard on yourself. Which is kind of normal. As long as you keep parent contact up with those students who you aren't reaching, you've done your part. Sometimes we forget that education is not all on the teacher its a three part deal: Teacher-student-parent. When one of those is lacking the whole thing goes to shit and we're also made to feel like it's all on us. If you give a book report and a kid goes home and plays Playstation for six hours, that's not a breakdown on your part. If the parent comes home, sees this and allows it, that's not a breakdown on your part. It still puts you in a tough spot, because you are expected to make this kid succeed. When you have a class full of kids like that, you WILL be drained.

Don't let other teachers be your gauge either. Teachers like to sweep their problems under the rug. Since you are starting to distance yourself from the other teachers, you're not hearing their horror stories. Sometimes a vent session is good for you, just to hear that other people are going through what you are going through. Throw out that page of "Teacher's Room BAD!" and find someone you can talk to.

It'll be April before you know it. If the principal said you're doing OK, that's all you need. You are always going to be your own toughest critic. Picking your battles always helps and not falling into a confrontation is a big thing.

[RudeGirl]

I don't jive with our middle school's philosophy of building self-esteem over encouraging academic accountability.

Schools definitely seem to be turning to that. I don't get it. That's the role of one's parents.

In high school, I respected most the teachers who had a "no bullshit" attitude, and with whom it was expected that you would show up, turn in homework, and participate in class. My chem, calc and poli-sci teachers definitely had this reputation. If you were my teacher, I'd respect you more than someone who said, "Ok, it's time to love ourselves and talk about interpersonal self-worth now!" My gifted support teacher tried that shit with me, which is why I stopped showing up to that class and got pegged as "a problem."

One thing I'm wondering, though, is, isn't 25% of the class getting below C's normal -- I mean, if C's are the statistical middle, then aren't your results "as expected?" I'd personally respect your results more than a teacher whose grade distribution fell heavily in the A-B side of the bell curve.

Maybe the district isn't for you. (I don't know anything about BEING a teacher. I've trained people for work, and I've tutored people in math, which is not really the same.) Some school districs have a reputation for being academically tough; others have reputations for being academically lax.

If it's any consolation, many first-year teachers in my school didn't work out there and immediately found jobs at other districs; conversely, some new teachers were second-year teachers who didn't work out at their first district. We also once had an administrator who had the distincion of having job-hopped many-times mid-career, yet was still able to find work. Granted, this was the 1990s, and the economy has changed a bit. Still, I don't think there's a need to worry.

If the field's not for you, and it's killing you mentally, that's another issue altogether.

[Deni81]

As a fellow first-year teacher, I know exactly what you are feeling. I'm nervous as hell appoint getting reappointed. My situation is a little different as in I was hired by one middle school in July and oops my prinicpal hired too many teachers. So a month in the school year I was one of ten teachers displaced to other schools. I ended up at the Toughest high school in the district and those 2 months there were a living hell. Kids repeatedly cussing me out, refusing to do any work and getting hit in the head with a book when a kid got pissed that I gave him a referral. Luckily I got transferred out of that place and ended up back at a middle school. I love the school I am now, I want to be there next year. We just got a new prinicipal and I told him my story. I am so worried that i'll be without a teaching job next year. Ughh I was wish I wasn't a worrywart.

[ugarachel82]

Erika ~

I'm with everyone else in that I do think you're being way to hard on yourself. Teachers tend to be on the overachieving side of things, for better or worse. I can totally understand. Coming from soneone in a position like yours a few months ago and opted to leave before I wasn't asked back and feared it staining my record of job history, I can understand every ounce of your pain right now.

I also know (though I was in an elementary school) that homework can be a very tricky territory for a new teacher. I was told by my metor teacher that I was assigned to that I must absolutely give my FIRST graders homework every night, and to the most extent I did.

But homework in the first grade requires much more parental involvment (considering I was teaching my kids how to read) and if a child can't read and his/her parents (or parent) doesn't get home until 8pm and doesn't help him/her, it just doesn't get done. So I stopped counting and eventually giving homework all together.

For this and other reasons, I stopped talking to other teachers as well. I just didn't want to be judged by and compared to them. Planning, unless we had a team meeting, I usually would go in my room and shut my door and try to think about the week ahead.

I realize (now) that the school (and probably grade level) was probably not the right one for me. I'm still to this day wondering if this was the right decision and "beating myself up" for leaving the job unfinished. But I guess only time will heal that.

Didn't mean to threadjack. Your post just really struck a nerve with me and I wanted to share some similar experiences. DO try to relax and realize that you can only do what you can do. (I know, easier said than done!) :)

You sound like you are doing everything over and above what is required and that is all you can ask for.

Feel free to PM or IM as well. Have a great evening!

[ebruening]

Thanks, everyone, for your words of support and kindness. I guess I'll find out in a few months if they want me back next year :confused: I know things that I can change; I know what I'm doing "wrong," and I'm working on fixing that in some form every day. I put in a lot of time and effort, and I have plans for what I'll do differently next year. I still have the feeling that they'll want someone with more experience for my position next year. I'm researching other districts, even other states, for next year, since I'm sure that they won't ask me back. Maybe a change of scenery will do me some good...

[yankeeyosh]

One thing I'm wondering, though, is, isn't 25% of the class getting below C's normal -- I mean, if C's are the statistical middle, then aren't your results "as expected?" I'd personally respect your results more than a teacher whose grade distribution fell heavily in the A-B side of the bell curve.


Welllllll....it should, but in our generation, it's not. For the last few high school classes (including yours), nearly 50% of kids who attend college had A or A- averages.

[capella]

Welllllll....it should, but in our generation, it's not. For the last few high school classes (including yours), nearly 50% of kids who attend college had A or A- averages.
Perhaps that's true, but that's not necessarily because they performed to rigorous standards. High schools have gotten a lot less strenuous on academic work since parents have gotten more litigious about their kid's grades and having the perfect portfolio to send their kids to college. And having A's doesn't mean you're going to college, nor does not having A's mean you're not going. I had a 2.14 when I graduated from high school (not because of any lacking intelligence, I had a rough upbringing, including a mother who would pull me out of school to babysit for her or not let me do homework until all the laundry was done, etc.). I still made it into college and even through it. C's are my median grade range, especially in my regular classes. If it goes below a 70% average I start to worry a little, but I figure C's mean you showed up and you put in some work but you were by no means stellar. B's means you are an average student. A's mean you worked above and beyond my expectations, which are decidedly high for 7th graders.

[yankeeyosh]

Perhaps that's true, but that's not necessarily because they performed to rigorous standards. High schools have gotten a lot less strenuous on academic work since parents have gotten more litigious about their kid's grades and having the perfect portfolio to send their kids to college.

Exactly, and that one of the reasons why I sympathize with you teachers. If you don't give Johnny Harvard his A, Mr. and Mrs. Harvard will freak out and threaten to sue.

[ce607]

Thanks, everyone, for your words of support and kindness. I guess I'll find out in a few months if they want me back next year :confused: I know things that I can change; I know what I'm doing "wrong," and I'm working on fixing that in some form every day. I put in a lot of time and effort, and I have plans for what I'll do differently next year. I still have the feeling that they'll want someone with more experience for my position next year. I'm researching other districts, even other states, for next year, since I'm sure that they won't ask me back. Maybe a change of scenery will do me some good...

Of course, by next year, you will be more experienced... and if you already know of things you want to change for next year, you're on the right track. I'm a third-year teacher and still do things wrong all the time, I know, but it's so much better than the first year, and frankly, even than last year. It's hard to make big changes in the middle of a year, because the kids already know you and your routines. But you can get things set this summer and go in completely differently in the fall.

I don't know if I missed this, but why are you so sure they won't want you back? First-year teachers are notorious for struggling, as many others here have attested. That's why in most places you have a few years before tenure; they know they can't get the idea of the whole you before they've seen you in action for years.

And I want you to know I sympathize with how difficult this year must be for you. You can PM me anytime as well; I still hate to even think about my first year and how over my head I was all the time. It was horrible, and it was partly me, but the others are right that it's not all you. I know some teachers are able to coax homework out of students, but I take a sort of "they're in high school, and they need to be able to complete an assignment" attitude. If they turn in homework, their averages are improved. If they don't, and they wonder why their grades are low, then I tell them they have 100% control of bringing up their grades simply by putting in some effort. (But if you are really concerned with this, why not go ask the other teachers what their homework methods are?)

And some classes, you will have great rapport with and some you won't. Just how it goes. I teach 8th through 11th grades, and for some reason I have a difficult time this year with my 9th and 11th grades, but just love my 8th and 10th graders. The group dynamic is amazing, and it's not necessarily all your fault if the rapport isn't there. Take care.

[capella]

The rapport thing is a hard thing to achieve with certain groups of kids. And every class has its own dynamic. Right now I can't stand my 4th period. They rile me up every single day and never, ever shut up. I wonder what planet they're on somedays because it's certainly not Earth. Some kids are such airheads too and I sincerely hope they grow out of it. It is very difficult to establish a good class dynamic with certain groups of kids and there is very little you can do to change it. I just feel like I need to focus on the 80-85 kids that are doing, for the most part, what they should be doing and not the 15-20 who are snotty little terrors. It's a hard thing not to take personally.

[ebruening]

I don't know if I missed this, but why are you so sure they won't want you back? First-year teachers are notorious for struggling, as many others here have attested. That's why in most places you have a few years before tenure; they know they can't get the idea of the whole you before they've seen you in action for years.

ce607 - I'm pretty sure they won't want me back next year, because in comparison with the other first-year teacher, I am simply AWFUL. He has it all down pat, really connects with the kids, and I get the general impression that his classes are going VERY smoothly. I feel like an incompetent fool anytime I'm around him, because he seems to have it so put together, in every aspect of his life, not just professionally. I feel immature and whiney around him. It's not his fault, it's my own insecurities that are coming into play with such reactions. I think when they compare my results to his results, they'll want someone who's more like him to fill my position next year.

Thanks, everyone, for helping me with this matter. I had my anxiety pretty well under control yesterday evening, but it's back in full force today :cry: Would it be bad form to talk to my principal about these worries tomorrow, or would I seem too whiney and anxious doing that? I'd just like to know what their plans are for next year at this point...if they can tell me.

[yankeeyosh]

ce607 - I'm pretty sure they won't want me back next year, because in comparison with the other first-year teacher, I am simply AWFUL. He has it all down pat, really connects with the kids, and I get the general impression that his classes are going VERY smoothly. I feel like an incompetent fool anytime I'm around him, because he seems to have it so put together, in every aspect of his life, not just professionally. I feel immature and whiney around him. It's not his fault, it's my own insecurities that are coming into play with such reactions. I think when they compare my results to his results, they'll want someone who's more like him to fill my position next year.

{{{hugs}}} Erika, please don't compare yourself to other people. I mean, this person is probably in that rare breed who can get everything going on all cylinders by day one, but the vast majority of us are not like that. Do you know how many mistakes I make on my job? Seriously, not a day passes where I make a boneheaded error, even though this job is way below my educational level. But they seem to like me, and I don't feel like my job is threatened.

Thanks, everyone, for helping me with this matter. I had my anxiety pretty well under control yesterday evening, but it's back in full force today :cry: Would it be bad form to talk to my principal about these worries tomorrow, or would I seem too whiney and anxious doing that? I'd just like to know what their plans are for next year at this point...if they can tell me.
I would say you should talk to him as soon as possible. It will at least get it off your chest. When something is bothering you like that, it's better to find out now than worry about it, and let your job get affected by the worry.

[capella]

You never know what's going on in other people's classes. Don't compare yourself to this other teacher. And personally, I wouldn't say a word to the principal. I would try to fly as low as possible your first year. Don't give them anything to worry about and they won't worry. I'm sure you'll be fine. :)

[ce607]

Do you have any kind of mentoring system or any teacher who's sort of between you and the principal, like a department head? If there is only one other first-year teacher, maybe you have a really small school, but I would try to talk to another veteran teacher about your concerns rather than the principal. You could make the conversation not about being worried about next year but about the specific issues that you have and the things that you'd like to change, and talk about ideas for incorporating the change now. That shows that you're proactive and are trying to take steps early on to improve your classes (though I'm sure they aren't nearly as bad as you think they are!).

[Deni81]

You never know what's going on in other people's classes. Don't compare yourself to this other teacher. And personally, I wouldn't say a word to the principal. I would try to fly as low as possible your first year. Don't give them anything to worry about and they won't worry. I'm sure you'll be fine. :)

I know it's hard not to compare yourself to other teachers, as a first-year I do i too. But it's true you never know what's going on in other people's classes.

[RudeGirl]

Perhaps that's true, but that's not necessarily because they performed to rigorous standards. High schools have gotten a lot less strenuous on academic work since parents have gotten more litigious about their kid's grades and having the perfect portfolio to send their kids to college.

I agree about the "less strenuous" part.

When I was in high school, about 12% of the class was on the honor roll. I read a newsletter from my alma matter recently, and it congratulated the 9th graders who made the honor roll.

Nearly 50% of the class did. :eek:

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but shouldn't high school be harder than allowing every other kid to make a 3.5 GPA or higher?

[capella]

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but shouldn't high school be harder than allowing every other kid to make a 3.5 GPA or higher?
I absolutely agree. I don't make my class easy to make the kids happy or their parents happy. If they don't work hard they don't get a good grade. I don't know what's going on in high schools though. A lot of kids come back to say hi and tell us how easy high school is and how they all have A's. I'm sorry, but middle school shouldn't be harder than high school. Schools aren't doing anybody any favors by making the kids look like superstars when they don't earn it. A lot of the problem stems from people who know nothing about education putting their noses in where it doesn't belong (legislators sitting in a big office up on high, stuck up parents who want their kids to "achieve" but not actually do any work to get the grade, etc.)

[yankeeyosh]

I absolutely agree. I don't make my class easy to make the kids happy or their parents happy. If they don't work hard they don't get a good grade. I don't know what's going on in high schools though. A lot of kids come back to say hi and tell us how easy high school is and how they all have A's. I'm sorry, but middle school shouldn't be harder than high school. Schools aren't doing anybody any favors by making the kids look like superstars when they don't earn it. A lot of the problem stems from people who know nothing about education putting their noses in where it doesn't belong (legislators sitting in a big office up on high, stuck up parents who want their kids to "achieve" but not actually do any work to get the grade, etc.)

When I was in first grade, I remember seeing a chart with grades...this was a mass-produced chart, and it was probably published in the 70s before the self esteem movement took hold in the schools. But it went like this: A = Excellent, B = Very Good, C = Average, D = Fair and F = Poor. Somewhere along the line, things changed, and now it's A+ = Good, A = Average, B = Needs improvement and C = You better start applying to 7-Eleven.

Frankly, all things being equal, I don't see a problem not giving a lot of A's. I mean, if everyone got an A, what's the point of even studying? Yeah, it helps your self-esteem, but there's little else that it does to help. If you didn't master the syllabus, you don't deserve such a grade.

I remember a class I had in HS (physics projects) where I did absolutely nothing. My team members did all the work, and I had no clue what they were doing. Yet my teacher gave me a 90 in the end. I know I didn't deserve the 90, yet I was in a hyper competitve class in a hyper competitive school, and I was afraid that if I got anything lower, it would screw me up. In retrospect, I wish I got a lower grade, because I learned absoultely nothing from that class. In fact, I really deserved an F since I did nothing. And I admit, I did cry over some C's on tests, as did others in my class. In retrospect, that was dumb, because in the real world, grades mean absolutely nothing. Unfortunately, when in school, in our generation, the Almighty Grade dictates all, and we are forced do everything, including bribing, to get the A. It's sad, but it's true.

[shimmer728]

Erika, is it possible you've just been saddled with a real group of punks? As in, you got really unlucky this year? I don't think it's your fault at all that they won't turn in their homework. They're ninth graders--they should have some personal accountability. I'm sorry, I really am. :( Give yourself some credit--I, along with many others, would never be able to do this job. And remember, you don't know yet that your contract won't be renewed. :)

[Deni81]

I think kids need to learn personal responsibility. For example, a project was due today in my classes. About half of the kids remembered to turn it in, the other half whined and complain that I take off 10 points each day the assignment is late.