Dating at work

[jqussar]

I have a problem. There is someone at work that I am intersted in, and I am not totally sure if she is interested in me. She flirts, but some people tell me she is a tease. Anwyays, I have a rule that says never date someone at work, but I may be willing to break it. I don't know what I should do. HELP!!!

[jbboogie]

Definitely don't break that rule of yours. One screw up in the relationship and it will be uncomfortable for all parties involved.

[Anonymous]

I just came out of a relationship were I was seing someone I worked with. I found out ( the hard way) that he was also seeing someone else. Trust me, it makes working together very diffcult as I rely on him to proved with information to help me do my job. I had the same rule as you - Never date someone you work with. I thought he was worth it. I guess I was wrong. Don't make the same mistake I did.

[supreme]

I just came out of a relationship were I was seing someone I worked with. I found out ( the hard way) that he was also seeing someone else. Trust me, it makes working together very diffcult as I rely on him to proved with information to help me do my job. I had the same rule as you - Never date someone you work with. I thought he was worth it. I guess I was wrong. Don't make the same mistake I did.

[jqussar]

See, I don't rely on her for anything, and we really don't see each other at all, because I am in IS and she is in HR. We can avoid each other totally if we wanted (or needed to). The only real time we see each other is if we are all hanging out after work or something.

[supreme]

That isn't so bad but just keep in mind how office politics and gossip goes. That can be very hard to deal with. Rumors are horrible, I know first hand.

[Anonymous]

Food is always a great way to get to know someone. Invite her to, say, a spit-roast. This will give her great pleasure and that way you can also invite a friend to share the fun.

[jqussar]

What in the world does that mean? I was going to ask her to lunch, and see how it goes from there. I figure that Lunch is a non-committal kind of thing, being that there is no extra getting ready, and it is quick. We shall see...

[Anonymous]

There are so many other girls out there. Don't waste your time on some chick you work with. If I was you I would stick to keeping your private life and your work life seprate. I mean could you imagine being married to someone you work with or who is in the same field of work??? UGGGHHH, that gives me the creeps just thinking about it.

[Anonymous]

I have been dating a coworker for the past couple years. He and I work in completely different areas (albeit both of us are engineers). Since we don't interact at all relating to work-related topics, it's okay. We've already said that if we worked together one of us would volunteer to move somewhere else.

We don't discuss our relationship at work, and we only discuss "work related" topics at work. Nobody at work knows about us, and we prefer to keep it that way.

Outside of work, we do talk about work some, but it's natural, not an annoying kind of thing.

Asking her to lunch is fine. You need to be friends first though before dating a coworker...that way you know more about them before making a move. If you do something wrong, it will be discussed at every water cooler. However, if you get to be friends first, there is a natural progression and you'll know better whether this is someone you're interested in.

[Jenny Proctor]

I used to date a co-worker when I lived in the Boston area. It got nasty when we broke up. In fact, it got so bad it caused me to leave the area. He said certain untruthful things about me, which were both very damaging professionally and embarassing.


Unless you can really trust this person, stay away.

[miner]

[christine_sanae]

Dating a co-worker is definitely not a good thing to do...this is coming from personal experience. I dated someone at work and girls at work who liked him couldn't respect that and did all they could to try to mess up our relationship. It worked...for a while. We stopped seeing each other for a few months but fortunately we were able to put the past behind us and start over...but only after he quit and moved 3000 miles away!

[x Hello Kitty x]

If you're really not sure if she's interested in you, maybe you could invite her to lunch and see what happens. If you don't feel comfortable with just the two of you going, invite a friend from the office to go with you (don't go with more than about 3-4 people though). You can just say something like: "Hi. I'm going to go grab something for lunch. Would you care to join me?" That way, you can get a chance to sit down and talk with her and get to know her a little better and there's a lot less pressure than if you had asked her to dinner and a movie or something more obvious. If you feel that she's interested in you after lunch, then ask her out. If you feel like there's no interest, then go find another girl. Good luck! /phpBB/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif

[jqussar]

Hey ya'll. Well, I found out long ago that she wasnt interested in me...I guess she was just flirting heavy, but was dating someone else. I still dont know why she was eating my pizza at the ball game but hey. She doesnt even call me anymore, unless she needs something...so thanks for you help. I now see the kind of person she really is.