Taming the Beast

[dengeist]

I don't usually ask for advice, but I need some other perspectives on this one.
So here goes:

Last week on Grey's Anatomy they were talking about "The Beast", which is basically, you haven't had sex for so long, you kind of forget about it, then when you do again it's hard to stop yourself even if the person is all wrong for you.

Well, it's happend to me. I helped my best friend's girlfriend throw a birthday party for him yesterday. The birthday party went pretty well, I had a good time. An old girlfriend was there and she latched on to me, complete with batting eyelashed and innuendo. A small group of us ended up going to a bar after the party and of course she went too. At the end of the night, she invited me to go home with her. I took the high road and declined.

That was a pretty hard decision for me. As soon as I get home she called me and we talked for a good hour. The conversation was peppered with the occasional "You should come over." I half wanted to, somehow I managed to get off the phone with her.

Today she's been calling non-stop, leaving me text messages. I've been avoiding, grading papers, hanging out on the internet, generally staying away from my cell phone.

The beast is out again, and I'm scared of him. :sad:

[Tayl405]

Why don't you want to hook up with her? Because she's an ex?

[winneythepooh7]

As you said, she's all wrong for you. Don't do it. If she calls again just tell her point blank that it's over. Avoiding can work wonders, but what happens if you accidentally pick up that call or run into her again?

[dengeist]

Why don't you want to hook up with her? Because she's an ex?

Not because she's an ex, but because I know it wouldn't be a good relationship. There's several reasons why it wouldn't be any good for me, I'm pretty sure I'd be really good for her, but it just wouldn't work for me. What's making it hard is she's really trying to throw some serious sex at me and I'm really really tempted. There's only so many cold showers and hitting a heavy bag that you can do.

Winney: I've gone that route a few times. She's really persistent.

[Tayl405]

Sounds like you need a distraction...like another girl :) And the beast thing is so true...

[winneythepooh7]

Sounds like you need a distraction...like another girl :) And the beast thing is so true...

I SO concur.

[dengeist]

Sounds like you need a distraction...like another girl :) And the beast thing is so true...

I do, if it's gotten to this point, I really do. I thought I'd chill and "do me" for a little while since my last gf, but this has really hit me hard.

Two calls and one message since my last post....Must.....resist!

[yes_is_a_word]

hey... it's a stretch but... call her (initiate the call at your convenience) and then tell her all about your new g/f... that you just started going out with... and that you have unbelievable sex with... in fact, the best you've ever had... and that you're "already" thinking long-term with...

that will either shut her down or wind her up...

[uscuba2]

Sounds like you need a distraction...like another girl :) And the beast thing is so true...


or hit the gym. I've had this kinda thing happen and trust being a good hard core work outputs the beast to sleep for awhile.

[wordsmith]

I don't think I have a beast.

Or, more accurately, it only makes itself known when I'm actually in the position to unleash it with somebody I really dig. The rest of the time, the beast sleeps. It's so tied to particular people for me. I do not have an indiscriminate beast!

[jdt141]

or hit the gym. I've had this kinda thing happen and trust being a good hard core work outputs the beast to sleep for awhile.


that works opposite for me. too much testosterone pushing through my bloodstream and I just go crazy. it works for that night, but the next day, even worse!!!

[winneythepooh7]

Maybe working out at the gym you will meet a new girl! ;).

[jdt141]

Maybe working out at the gym you will meet a new girl! ;).


+1.

xtarsdfasdfasdgadsfg

[Cole]

oh lord I've been having "beast" issues too.

I'm dating a couple of guys right now, and I don't want to get serious enough with any of them to sleep with any of them, and yet part of me really wants to go there. But I know it would just make things complicated and messy and someone would get hurt.

Bah. I keep thinking I need a random hookup to take care of it. But I don't do that.

[SmilesSoSweet]

This is so true. I hooked up with an ex back over the Thanksgiving break. And that ended an 18-month drought (the last time before that being with him, too, but we were dating at the time.) And the last couple of months I was talking to a guy that I met online. Nothing serious either. We've only talked on the phone. He wanted to meet with the only intension of hooking up and I was going to go with it too. Then I decided that it wouldn't be the best thing to do so I told him (via email, since we didn't talk on the phone much) and I'm sure he wasn't happy. I haven't heard from him since. Oh well. I just don't want to hook up with anyone just to hook up. Yes, I did that back over Thanksgiving but that was an ex, so he wasn't a complete stranger. And he lives in another state and is dating someone new, so it's not like I'm going to hook up with him again.

So I guess it's best for me to tame the beast and not let it get the best of me and just wait until I'm in some kind of relationship. At the rate I'm going, that'll probably be a while, but it's probably the best thing for me, even though it gets tough. LOL

[wordsmith]

Maybe there is something wrong with me that droughts just really don't bother me in that sense. :(

I love sex, I swear! Maybe I'm just a romantic. I don't like it not being particularly meaningful. Hooking up for the sake of hooking up depresses me.

[Cole]

Maybe there is something wrong with me that droughts just really don't bother me in that sense. :(

I love sex, I swear! Maybe I'm just a romantic. I don't like it not being particularly meaningful. Hooking up for the sake of hooking up depresses me.
I don't think there's anything wrong with you. I was actually fine with it for a few months, but the past few weeks have just gotten to me.

I agree with the second part of your statement too. Therein lies my conflict. :googly:

[wordsmith]

Hence my sig line. :frustrate

When between relationships, I'm far more likely to get all dejected about the whole "nobody loving me" thing than I am likely to get frustrated about not getting the action that goes with being in a relationship.

But then, as has been pointed out before, I'm "such a girl."

[yes_is_a_word]

Hence my sig line. :frustrate

When between relationships, I'm far more likely to get all dejected about the whole "nobody loving me" thing than I am likely to get frustrated about not getting the action that goes with being in a relationship.

But then, as has been pointed out before, I'm "such a girl."


It's the "in the relationship" time and "not getting any action" that really, really ticks off the Beast!

[wordsmith]

My beast is totally cool with holding out for relationships, somehow.

[Chameleon]

Despite the creepy factor of him marrying his (adopted) daughter, Woody Allen has a couple interesting quotes about love/sex.

Sex without love is an empty experience. But as far as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions.

My beast is a pretty formidable creature as you can guess from someone as A.D.I.D.A.S as her tag line (any Korn fans out there?). Fortunately/unfortunately there are very few people I have strong physical chemistry with.

[Empressallie]

Why have random sex and have things get weird with someone, or put your health at risk, when you can buy a vibrator for $30?

[Chameleon]

You got me. A vibrator? Why didn't I think of that? My life is now completely turned around now! :D :razz:

You know, they really need to make one that has verbal responses, like a cross between the furby and a "rabbit". Then there would completely eliminate one's desire to be with a real live human being. <insert appropriate smilie here>

[Empressallie]

haha obviously its not the same as having a "real live" person. But still!! There are options! lol :rolleyes: