Just generally puzzled and frustrated

[blueyes]

So, I've got this friend A, in Maryland who has for the last 15 months told me of his (undying) love for me. Back in January, I was essentially given this ultimatum: date me or deal with me not speaking to you until I can handle you not dating me.

Yeah.

So I get a call from A last night (not completely unexpected b/c I'd had a 'heads up' call earlier in the night by a mutual friend who didn't want to see me blindsided) and I am on the phone with this guy for nearly four-and-half hours.

'Wow' - you say - 'maybe things were okay if you were on the phone for that long!'

Nope. It was the same messy, knock-down ugliness that I've been dealing with since this guy decided 15 months ago that he loved me. I'm just wondering what in the world was going through his head - I even asked him a couple of times!

Now I'm sleep-deprived, confused, and don't really remember much of the conversation. I don't really want to date this guy b/c he's so incredibly manipulative when it comes down to it and I've said as much. But relationship-non-sense aside, he's a great friend. I'm just having such a hard time reconciling A the great friend with A the guy who wants to date me so badly he'll give up my friendship for 2 months. It's crazy stressful (and exhausting); does anyone have any sort of suggestion - or is it time I just walked away?

[labrat2111]

Time to walk away seeing as you don't like him that way and he won't give up on the fact that you don't feel that way about him. It's not an easy thing but certainly less stressful and easier on you and him in the long run.

[Bugsey34]

Walk away. Seems like an awful lot of drama, and think you haven't even dated him! Imagine if you were in a relationship with him!

[Deavan]

So, I've got this friend A, in Maryland who has for the last 15 months told me of his (undying) love for me. Back in January, I was essentially given this ultimatum: date me or deal with me not speaking to you until I can handle you not dating me.

Yeah.

So I get a call from A last night (not completely unexpected b/c I'd had a 'heads up' call earlier in the night by a mutual friend who didn't want to see me blindsided) and I am on the phone with this guy for nearly four-and-half hours.

'Wow' - you say - 'maybe things were okay if you were on the phone for that long!'

Nope. It was the same messy, knock-down ugliness that I've been dealing with since this guy decided 15 months ago that he loved me. I'm just wondering what in the world was going through his head - I even asked him a couple of times!

Now I'm sleep-deprived, confused, and don't really remember much of the conversation. I don't really want to date this guy b/c he's so incredibly manipulative when it comes down to it and I've said as much. But relationship-non-sense aside, he's a great friend. I'm just having such a hard time reconciling A the great friend with A the guy who wants to date me so badly he'll give up my friendship for 2 months. It's crazy stressful (and exhausting); does anyone have any sort of suggestion - or is it time I just walked away?

Change your cell number and walk away and forget about this manipulative dude...

[Chris_UK]

yeah, a beautiful example of ladder theory here. he jumped, he's in the abyss.

although he should just have NEXTed you into the middle of next year, rather than putting you through this. the guy aint bad, probs just a bit upset... and damn persistent.

just give him the space he needs and never speak to him again.

[shimmer728]

I know we've talked about this before, and I feel the same way now as I did then. Cut this guy loose. I don't think he's being a very good friend at all, and you're right, he sounds incredibly manipulative.