Girls, how important is the "first kiss" on a first date?

[Ender]

Just wondering what the girls think about kissing on the first date. Does it define the outing as a date? If it doesn't happen, do you lose interest or think things didn't go well? And what kind of a kiss do you expect?

[mishl982]

Well you're going to get a bunch of different opinions so there isn't going to be one answer.

I say, go with your gut. If you feel it's right, then go for it. Defintely don't try and kiss the girl if it seems like an awkward situation.

[Winter Storm]

I prefer not to kiss on the first date. I just usually don't know the guy well enough.

[Bugsey34]

I also would usually say no kiss on the first date, depending on how the date went and what we did, etc. So to answer your question, no, it has nothing to do with whether I am interested or not.

[wordsmith]

It's a gut feeling thing. If I'm not really feeling like I know the guy that well, not enough to know whether there's a true attraction or not yet, I'm not put off by not ending a first date with a kiss. If there was tremendous chemistry, and it doesn't end with a kiss, I might wonder why, though. But I wouldn't necessarily lose interest or get discouraged, either.

[Cole]

I agree with all of the above.

I don't typically kiss on the first date.

But then I made out with my bf the night we met, before we had even gone on a date. :rolleyes:

If I'm out with a guy and I"m not sure of the status, a kiss will define it as a date. If he doesn't kiss me, however, that's not a total friend zone move, either.

I always play on the side of not going too far instead of risking pushing it.

[Kitty]

If I like a guy a lot, I'm making sure a kiss happens on the first date. However, I have ended up dating someone who didn't kiss me on the first date. I don't think I was really ever that physically attracted to him, though.

[Ender]

Hmm alright. That brings to mind another question: how many of you girls would actually initiate the kiss? Or is it all up to the guy?

[EmberMae]

I've never kissed on the first date, unless I had known the guy before we went on a date. With my current bf I initiated the kiss. BF before that I honestly can't remember to save my life. Before that I was a meek teenager so I didn't initiate anything.

[Ender]

Why don't girls initiate things more? It always seems to be up to the guys, and we're the ones always risking rejection.

[ebruening]

Why don't girls initiate things more? It always seems to be up to the guys, and we're the ones always risking rejection.

Ohhh...sore subject. I have tried, and the guys have not been receptive at all. We were sitting down in both (separate) instances, so it's not as if it was awkward because of my height. Maybe it's just the fellas in Nebraska :confused:

[wordsmith]

I'm a big initiator.

But I am a makeout WHORE. Which is not to be confused with an actual whore. But I luuuuuv me some makin' out.

[hoodie]

I am okay with initiating because I am a pacing weirdo. I like the ball in my court to begin with. Usually when the guy pushes the first kiss, I get weirded out and bolt like crazy.
I find that there are some obvious hints when a guy wants to kiss me, a.k.a., he's already probably held me in his arms a few times, may have done a kiss on the cheek here and there, but the "kiss" vibe usually happens, I find, during a huggy/cuddly kind of moment. At which point, I will either simply kiss him lightly on the lips and wait for follow up, or oddly enough, with my current, I asked if it was okay if I kissed him goodbye. He then kissed me. :)
First kisses, imo, kind of suck anyways because you are getting used to the person's style. I see kissing like driving someone else's car or getting new jeans. A little uncomfortable to begin with but awesome when you're used to it.

[Ender]

That's a good perspective to put on it. Any advice on how to deal with those first date / kiss anxieties?

[meatwad]

That's a good perspective to put on it. Any advice on how to deal with those first date / kiss anxieties?

Listen to Nike. Just do it.

[Ender]

Haha. Easier said than done. If I could just do it, I wouldn't be posting. :razz:

Listen to Nike. Just do it.

[wordsmith]

The more you do it, the less of a big deal it is.

[meatwad]

Haha. Easier said than done. If I could just do it, I wouldn't be posting. :razz:

Seriously. After a second or third date I usually just go for it, except this current one. But that was just me reading things wrong. In retrospect I would have just gone for it. I need to follow my own advice.

[Ender]

Second or thrid date huh? Maybe I just have this stupid conception that if the first date doesn't end with a kiss, I'm not gonna get another. :confused:

Seriously. After a second or third date I usually just go for it, except this current one. But that was just me reading things wrong. In retrospect I would have just gone for it. I need to follow my own advice.

[meatwad]

Second or thrid date huh? Maybe I just have this stupid conception that if the first date doesn't end with a kiss, I'm not gonna get another. :confused:

Sounds stupid to me. :D

Just kiddin.

[old_school_soul]

But I am a makeout WHORE. Which is not to be confused with an actual whore. But I luuuuuv me some makin' out.


WS, if there were only more like you, the world would be a better place.

[wordsmith]

Where are the women who don't like to make out? :confused:

[TMarieinCA]

I'm a big initiator.

But I am a makeout WHORE. Which is not to be confused with an actual whore. But I luuuuuv me some makin' out.



Oh my goodness...I thought I was the only one! I love to kiss...it is totally amazing to me to kiss a guy. Kissing on the first date is all about feeling like everyone else says. Sometimes not getting a kiss on the first date when there was obvious chemistry makes the next date more exciting. Kissing in general to me though is about any kind of feeling, connection with a guy. Often I initiate it, but not always. I think it is ok both ways.

[Deadend]

Kissing on the first date for the sake of kissing on the first date rather than feeling comfy (or drunk, depending on the situation) enough to make your move is definately a no no.

Making out is definately great fun to be had and should definately NOT be thought of as simply a precursor to sex. Actually, I've fealt a few times in an LTR with very regular sex wanting to be able to still have a make-out sesh. for the sake of a make-out sesh. and not have it nessisarily lead anywhere. It's good for sex that way because it builds tension while still feeling pretty damned good.

[TMarieinCA]

Kissing on the first date for the sake of kissing on the first date rather than feeling comfy (or drunk, depending on the situation) enough to make your move is definately a no no.

Making out is definately great fun to be had and should definately NOT be thought of as simply a precursor to sex.


Although I can be, like previously stated, a bit of a kissing whore, I definately don't think you should kiss on a first date for the sake of kissing. I went on a first date one time and there wasn't a kiss at the end eventhough there was an incredible amount of chemistry and everything between us. It sucked but it made me really excited to see him again. I think that a first date kiss is all about chemistry and feelings not about kissing just to kiss. And I think that if you get drunk on a first date, there may be a bit of an issue lol.

I totally agree with your thought about the making out and sex part. They don't have to go together at all and like I said, just because I may be a kissing whore, doesn't mean I am a real whore haha.

[wordsmith]

Kissing totally need not be a precursor to sex. However, if we're having sex, best believe there's gonna be kissing and lots.

[TMarieinCA]

Kissing totally need not be a precursor to sex. However, if we're having sex, best believe there's gonna be kissing and lots.
damn straight!

[Deavan]

WS, if there were only more like you, the world would be a better place.


LOL you are hilarious! My 2 cents on the matter is the same as WS. Go with your gut, I have intiated a kiss on a first date and it was a nice time had by all, I also have held off because of the guy, like if something about him creeped me out or I KNEW their was no attraction then I have dodged kisses as well...I know that doesn't really help you, but if the girl you are taking out doesn't want to kiss you on the first date hopefully she will be mature enough to tell you so in an adult way.

[RealDeal]

I say go with your gut too -- I never do the first time because waiting makes it more fun but that is just my opinion!

[hoodie]

Ender, I think your number one problemo is how big you've got first kisses worked up in your head. Like you said earlier that if you don't kiss on the first date, there won't be a second. Nahh. Kiss when your gut says kiss. Like I said, if you've gotten close to her in other ways - hug, cheek kiss, general physical flirtation, and she is responsive to it then a kiss is forthcoming and probably welcome so just go for it. As far as the awkwardness goes, like I said, it's inevitable. Even if your partner is the world's most fantastic kisser, it at least takes until partway through the kiss to realize that and adapt, so I am in total agreement with whoever said the more you do it, the better it gets.

[InnrLavndr]

Sheesh--right now I'm erring on the side of No kissing on the first date, thinking that should be perfectly fine. Now I wonder if that automatically makes the guy think you don't want a second date. But it probably won't make me change my overall policy. If someone's worth it they can wait one darn date.

But guys, feel free to chime in: How many of you would forgo asking for a 2nd date if there was no kiss on the 1st?

I know there are variables, not the least of which is chemistry, but I'm curious.

[Ender]

Well I don't have much experience, but I might take it as a rejection if the girl dodged a kiss or whatever. That's probably why I'm so nervous about the first kiss anyways, cuz you're putting everything on the line. But in general I tend to be too shy: too slow to ask for a date, too inhibited to initiate physical contact (a hug, hand on her waist, etc.)

Sheesh--right now I'm erring on the side of No kissing on the first date, thinking that should be perfectly fine. Now I wonder if that automatically makes the guy think you don't want a second date. But it probably won't make me change my overall policy. If someone's worth it they can wait one darn date.

But guys, feel free to chime in: How many of you would forgo asking for a 2nd date if there was no kiss on the 1st?

I know there are variables, not the least of which is chemistry, but I'm curious.

[Ender]

You're probably right. I've never really dated and so in my head it's all a big deal. The awkwardness is always there, and even if my gut says go for it I'm still too nervous or shy to make a move, even with general physical flirtation.

Ender, I think your number one problemo is how big you've got first kisses worked up in your head. Like you said earlier that if you don't kiss on the first date, there won't be a second. Nahh. Kiss when your gut says kiss. Like I said, if you've gotten close to her in other ways - hug, cheek kiss, general physical flirtation, and she is responsive to it then a kiss is forthcoming and probably welcome so just go for it. As far as the awkwardness goes, like I said, it's inevitable. Even if your partner is the world's most fantastic kisser, it at least takes until partway through the kiss to realize that and adapt, so I am in total agreement with whoever said the more you do it, the better it gets.