Charlotte82
03-20-2006, 09:37 AM
Hi everyone...
I have been reading this board from time to time, but I have never posted before. I wanted to share my story...
I graduated college in 2004. Ever since high school, I have built up a very impressive, diverse resume with internships/volunteer work/paying jobs/been published, etc. People would always comment about how anyone my age would kill to have my resume. I always knew I wanted to be a writer, and had stacks of scripts and stories all over the place. When I was 17, my dad died after a long illness, which, even though my friends all commented that I handled things really well, really messed me up. Since my grades had dropped while my dad was sick, I didn't get to go to the greatest college, but since I had really good SAT scores, I was able to get a great scholarship, continued getting involved with everything, graduated with honors, blah blah blah.
And then in May 2004 I started going on job interviews.
After job interview.
After job interview.
I think I went on about 100 job interviews from May 2004 to March 2006. I was getting called in EVERYWHERE, but NOBODY WAS HIRING ME. What made things worse was that my best friend from high school went on an interview a week after graduation and got a job I would have killed for right away. She made it look so easy, and I just didn't know WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME.
I worked in the same retail job I kept throughout college, and cringed every time someone I recognized came in and commented, "YOU'RE STILL WORKING HERE?" (What does it LOOK like I am doing here?)
It just seemed like NOTHING was going right for me. I am yet to have had a real boyfriend...even though I know there's nothing wrong with me, with my looks/personality/sense of humor/brain and would look through myspace and the local paper and note how many girls I knew from high school/college were getting engaged and it would make me all depressed. EVERYTHING was depressing me. I started convincing myself I was never getting married or having children, on top of never finding a job or moving out of my mother's house.
I would go on three interviews a day, run around the city in my heels, clutching my portfolio and trying SO HARD not to cry somedays because I was just so tired and worn-out. Some places would call me back six times and still not hire me. One place shook my hand and said, "Welcome aboard!" and still did not hire me. It was incredibly frustrating and I felt like I was walking around with two black eyes because I was being beaten up by all this over and over.
I was actually going to sleep at night praying I wouldn't wake up in the morning because I was so depressed and just wanted everything to end. For someone who used to be incredibly bubbly and full of life and optimistic, this was a 180 for me. I stopped eating and sleeping and things just got really, really scary.
Anyway, last week, I was offered a job that I really really wanted, so I hope that this is a sign that things are going to start turning around. I was starting to feel that it would never happen.
I have been reading this board from time to time, but I have never posted before. I wanted to share my story...
I graduated college in 2004. Ever since high school, I have built up a very impressive, diverse resume with internships/volunteer work/paying jobs/been published, etc. People would always comment about how anyone my age would kill to have my resume. I always knew I wanted to be a writer, and had stacks of scripts and stories all over the place. When I was 17, my dad died after a long illness, which, even though my friends all commented that I handled things really well, really messed me up. Since my grades had dropped while my dad was sick, I didn't get to go to the greatest college, but since I had really good SAT scores, I was able to get a great scholarship, continued getting involved with everything, graduated with honors, blah blah blah.
And then in May 2004 I started going on job interviews.
After job interview.
After job interview.
I think I went on about 100 job interviews from May 2004 to March 2006. I was getting called in EVERYWHERE, but NOBODY WAS HIRING ME. What made things worse was that my best friend from high school went on an interview a week after graduation and got a job I would have killed for right away. She made it look so easy, and I just didn't know WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME.
I worked in the same retail job I kept throughout college, and cringed every time someone I recognized came in and commented, "YOU'RE STILL WORKING HERE?" (What does it LOOK like I am doing here?)
It just seemed like NOTHING was going right for me. I am yet to have had a real boyfriend...even though I know there's nothing wrong with me, with my looks/personality/sense of humor/brain and would look through myspace and the local paper and note how many girls I knew from high school/college were getting engaged and it would make me all depressed. EVERYTHING was depressing me. I started convincing myself I was never getting married or having children, on top of never finding a job or moving out of my mother's house.
I would go on three interviews a day, run around the city in my heels, clutching my portfolio and trying SO HARD not to cry somedays because I was just so tired and worn-out. Some places would call me back six times and still not hire me. One place shook my hand and said, "Welcome aboard!" and still did not hire me. It was incredibly frustrating and I felt like I was walking around with two black eyes because I was being beaten up by all this over and over.
I was actually going to sleep at night praying I wouldn't wake up in the morning because I was so depressed and just wanted everything to end. For someone who used to be incredibly bubbly and full of life and optimistic, this was a 180 for me. I stopped eating and sleeping and things just got really, really scary.
Anyway, last week, I was offered a job that I really really wanted, so I hope that this is a sign that things are going to start turning around. I was starting to feel that it would never happen.