The worst year of my life

[college_gal]

People say "Everything happens for a reason", that "Bad things happen just so that we can appreciate good things when it comes." Maybe it's true. I never learnt to appreciate what I had until I lost it, but why did everything had to go so wrong now, one right after another?

At the end of last year, my boyfriend of 1-year decided that he wanted to break up. I was too emotional for him to handle :(. We argued a lot, about small stuffs like why he didn't call me when he promised too, to things like why he can't seem to gather enough motivation to study & graduate (he's a senior in college)... In the end, he decided that the relationship isn't worth it anymore, and broke up. I tried to maintain the friendship, and convinced him to get back but it backed fire. Now he's just so mean to me whenever we talk, because he said "if he gives me an inch, I'll go a mile."

I was depressed for a long time after the break-up (still haven't quite over it now), even though now I don't contact him anymore. He was my most closed person, since my parents are so far away from me (I'm never that close to them anyway). I am here all alone now. Then I got in a car accident, I was ok but my car was damaged badly. It is the first car that I have. I bought it myself, and being a broke student, the car is my most valuable material possession. I tried hard to come up with the money to fix it, and just 1 day after I got it back from the shop, I got another accident. Both times, the accidents were my faults, so just imagine how much my insurance will go up next time. And my car was in a very bad shape now.

I don't know why I get so depressed after the accidents. The car is valuable to me, but I understand it's just a machine. I know that I shouldn't be so worried about money, but... Maybe it's also because I don't feel like anyone really cares about me now. I have a few friends, but they are so busy with their own lives. I feel like I'm not something important in anyone's life, and that makes me miss my ex-bf even more. He used to make me feel so special, so loved, and so valued. But now, he didn't give a shit when I told him about my first accident. I have to try so hard to stop myself from trying to contact him.

What's wrong with me? Why am I so emotional dependent on others? All I want is to have someone truly loves me, but when I finally find that person, I give him such a hard time that I drive him away. And how come I can't seem to get over him? It has been almost 4 months, and I still think about him, compare him to other guys, and still hope that someday, maybe he'll think about me and wants to get back (even though I know that hope is so slim).

I just don't know what to do to pick myself up, to make myself feel better. I've been complained about my misfortunes to everyone that I know, and I feel like people are driving further from me.

[wordsmith]

Why are you still in contact with somebody who doesn't care that you were in an auto accident? He clearly has no feelings for you...even people I'm not crazy about, I'd be concerned if they were in a wreck. You can't get over him if you keep talking to him.

[winneythepooh7]

Well first things first, I think you need to move on from this guy. For one thing, he is still in college and people still in college are in completly different places than those of us who are out in the working world. I think you just need to stop talking with him period. Since you are not over him, you CAN'T be friends. Period.


Secondly, I think you need to get out there and meet people, specifically females your age. Try craigslist or something for that. I think you need to learn to be by yourself for awhile before you get involved with someone.

Fighting over little tiny things is never a good thing in a relationship. It sounds like you may have issues with wanting to be in control.

Thirdly, do you need a car? And if so, does it have to be brand new? Why not get a nice used car that you don't have to pay a lot for.

[dear confused]

Years from now these events will fade in your memory and they won't be such a big deal. Its true. I've gone through the same thing when my ex-girlfriend dumped me.

I got depressed from the break up because I blamed myself for the ending. Its a lot easier to get over somebody when you think the other person has problems. When you think you have the problems then you can really become depressed. You tend to blame yourself for the breakup and feel really depressed. However you have to realize what were problems with BF could be non issues with another guy. So its how the person reacts that is the problem not you. Its not always your fault.

I would suggest not contacting him for any reason. You may think the reason is important but its just an attempt to contact him. This will not aid your recovery. Keeping busy and moving forward will help you heal.

[spiritedaway]

You have to move on and try to forget your ex. Forget all hopes of getting back together with him. Focus on something else you love. Work on your hobbies. Get involved.

Until you truly get over him (or at least keep yourself busy enough that you don't think about him), every problem will seem that much bigger (when they are ordinarily manageable). When it rains, it pours, right? When one big thing bothers you, it can completely alter your perspective.

I was totally obsessed (oh yeah, it was an obsession) about this guy I really liked a while back. Looking back now, it got pretty ridiculous. :eek: I got into a car accident (other driver is at fault) and it damaged my brand new car. I was upset only for a short time and went right back to my obsession. I am so thankful I'm over that now. It wasn't easy, and I don't expect it to be easy for you either, but you got to get that out of the way first. (I'd suggest that you don't even bother to be friends - it doesn't sound like like it's a healthy relationship - even friendship - between you two). Maybe that's possible in the future when you're over him, but not now.

Good luck and take care. Hindsight is 20/20.

[college_gal]

[QUOTE=spiritedaway]Until you truly get over him (or at least keep yourself busy enough that you don't think about him), every problem will seem that much bigger (when they are ordinarily manageable). When it rains, it pours, right? When one big thing bothers you, it can completely alter your perspective.[QUOTE]
Yeah, that's exactly how I feel about my situation. It seems like everything starts to go wrong since the break-up. The car accidents, work, school... Nothing goes the way I planned it. I tried to be strong and managed things myself. But just when I was able to stand back up, things happened and I failed again (like the 2nd car accident right after I got my car back from the auto shop, and now I am sick). And no, I don't have a brand new, fancy car. It was a nice used car, before I wrecked it badly :sad: . I'm a full-time student (taking 18 hours), and work 3 jobs to help support myself. I don't really have much time for my hobbies. And while school & work keeps me busy most of the time, there are still moments when I think about him & wish very much that he would be there for me. (He never supports me financially. I just miss having him with me, so that I won't be so lonely, all work & no fun time :sad: ).

I used to be proud that I am strong, motivated, and determined (I used to criticize him for lacking motivation and drive). But now, I don't understand why I get myself under that much pressure. Probably I bite more than I can chew :sad: . I always have so many things that I need to do. Don't have much time to hang out with friends, even less time or chance to find a decent guy to date. He was my first bf, the only guy that I truly love so far. I haven't really looked for other guys, partly because I don't have time, partly because I'm still not over him...

But things can't be bad forever, right :) ? Now I'm just hoping that I'll be done with school soon (I have another year left) and start working. Once I don't have to worry much about money, I can start building my social life again and finding a new boyfriend (I'm a little bit concern, however, cause I read so many posts here complaining about how hard it is to build a social life and find dates after college). Am I doing the wrong thing? Basicly, I'm saving my life right now for after college (all work & school, no fun times, no bf, few friends). What if when I'm finally done, I'll do the same thing again (just work, no social life)? And even if things will get better after I'm done, sometimes I just don't know how could I make it there. How could I get over him and this depression? How can I feel happy again about what I do & who I am? :sad:

[college_gal]

Hey guys,

Just finish reading my posts again. Man, even I'm surprised at how sad and depressing they are. I was really sad when I wrote them. I guess I was thinking I'm the most unfortunate person in the world :redface: . But reading some more posts here, I realize that everyone goes through tough times in life (maybe they're just not as negative about it as I am now).

To be fair, not everything in my life is bad. I'm still in my early 20s, do very well in school, and have accomplished many things that I never thought I could. Like I was able to relocate successfully in a far away place where I have no relatives & didn't even know anyone when I first came. Like becoming the first person in my family to own a car... And while I'm not in a very good situation right now, at least I still have hope of a better future.

I know I need to stop worrying so much, being negative, and putting so much pressure on myself. I need to learn how to take things easy, and not trying to control everything in my life. Winneythepooh7 is right, I do have issues with wanting to be in control. I always plan out every single thing, and work myself really hard to achieve what I want. When things go wrong, I get frustrated easily. I'm not really sure how to stop that. Does anyone have the same problem that I have? If anyone could give me a suggestion on what I need to do, I'd really appreciate it.

[Jedi of Zen]

college_gal: I would say first - don't be too hard on yourself. Feeling lonely, frustrated, and finding yourself wanting to contact your ex again are fairly normal and natural aspects of life - especially given what it sounds like your circumstances have been. Sometimes there is just is no easy and straight answer, other than to simply make the most with what we have. It sounds like you have already given this all a lot of thought, so I would say from here on out, just take it all one step at a time. Easier said than done, though, I know! I would agree with the others that it's probably best to move on from your ex, but at the same it's okay to grieve and feel the way you do sometimes, regardless of how long it's been since the breakup. Have you had any opportunities to meet new people in the meantime?

[college_gal]

I was just let go from one of my part-time jobs. It's kinda disappointing, but it's good in a way. Now I won't be that busy anymore, and will have more time for myself, I guess.

The only thing is, I don't feel like doing anything anymore. I haven't studied much lately. Didn't feel like cooking or anything. I don't care much about anything. I've never felt that way before... And I'm losing most of my friends. Two of them said to my face that "they were so tired of my negativity". Great, but can't they find a better time to tell me that? Most haven't called or hang out with me for a while. The only person that I spent the most time with now is a guy who likes me, but I only care for him as a friend.

That's weird. I've been on an emotional roller-coaster lately. Some days are good. I feel pretty good, optimistic about the future, and feel strong. Other days (like today) I'm just so bored & lonely, and can't make myself do much of anything. What should I do?????

[library_queen]

Some people don't like the sound of this, but it might be helpful to you to see a counselor at school for a while. Most major colleges have counselling services onsite or agreements with practices in town. The fact that you sound stuck and miserable and uninterested in basic daily life things like cooking for yourself makes me think that this is a rough spot that could use some assistance. I especially recommend someone from your school, because school mental health staff tend to understand the unique needs of their students better and can point out useful sources of support within the school. They can refer you to other colleagues right on campus or nearby. It saves on a lot of extra explaining if they know how the school works and what the community is like.

You don't even need to see a doctoral "therapist" per se, and not necessarily for a long time. The benefit of a counselor, social worker, etc. is that they can offer a specially-educated outside opinion on the matter. The person will listen to you carefully and get to know you in order to help you. Force yourself to make time to see someone. You may need to see them at least three times before you get your whole story out, but it may be well worth it, especially since you don't have many friends whom you could talk to. I saw a counselor for many years in college and I can say that I would be dead if I didn't have it. Seriously. I'm not saying that your case is that dire, either, but even when the worst parts of my troubles were over, my counselor still helped me through the rough spots that refused to stop coming.

Regarding the ex - remember, this was your first boyfriend and it's very easy to get sucked in and think it means more than it really does. There is nothing wrong with this; it's just how first loves often are. If you were NOT his first girlfriend, it can make it harder because he has more experience than you. If you called him to tell him about your car accident and he was really callous, don't bother talking to him again. He does not sound like a quality person to me. I agree with the other person above, who said that they would be concerned even about someone they didn't particularly like if such a phone call came their way. It's true too that you cannot be friends with him until you have him out of your system. It took me a year and a half to get over a nasty breakup (spurred by a cheating episode, where he preferred to do what worked for him despite still being in a relationship...ASSHOLE!). You have to cut him out completely. He's a source of bad energy.

[winneythepooh7]

Some people don't like the sound of this, but it might be helpful to you to see a counselor at school for a while. Most major colleges have counselling services onsite or agreements with practices in town. The fact that you sound stuck and miserable and uninterested in basic daily life things like cooking for yourself makes me think that this is a rough spot that could use some assistance. I especially recommend someone from your school, because school mental health staff tend to understand the unique needs of their students better and can point out useful sources of support within the school. They can refer you to other colleagues right on campus or nearby. It saves on a lot of extra explaining if they know how the school works and what the community is like.

You don't even need to see a doctoral "therapist" per se, and not necessarily for a long time. The benefit of a counselor, social worker, etc. is that they can offer a specially-educated outside opinion on the matter. The person will listen to you carefully and get to know you in order to help you. Force yourself to make time to see someone. You may need to see them at least three times before you get your whole story out, but it may be well worth it, especially since you don't have many friends whom you could talk to. I saw a counselor for many years in college and I can say that I would be dead if I didn't have it. Seriously. I'm not saying that your case is that dire, either, but even when the worst parts of my troubles were over, my counselor still helped me through the rough spots that refused to stop coming.

Regarding the ex - remember, this was your first boyfriend and it's very easy to get sucked in and think it means more than it really does. There is nothing wrong with this; it's just how first loves often are. If you were NOT his first girlfriend, it can make it harder because he has more experience than you. If you called him to tell him about your car accident and he was really callous, don't bother talking to him again. He does not sound like a quality person to me. I agree with the other person above, who said that they would be concerned even about someone they didn't particularly like if such a phone call came their way. It's true too that you cannot be friends with him until you have him out of your system. It took me a year and a half to get over a nasty breakup (spurred by a cheating episode, where he preferred to do what worked for him despite still being in a relationship...ASSHOLE!). You have to cut him out completely. He's a source of bad energy.

I agree with this 110%. Just talking to someone who is unbias and doesn't know you can be a huge help in getting you to be able to sort out your problems and most importantly, notice negative behavior patterns you tend to get caught up in..........

[coolfrequency]

wow, that's so sad :( for what its worth I'd be as much of an emotional wreck as you are right now. Breaking up is terrible...breaking up with your very first boyfriend is even MORE traumatic...and breaking up when you feel like you don't have anyone else that you are close to in your life, no support system to fall back on...well that right there would push me past the point of what I can cope with. I'd just have a psychotic break, and stop functioning altogether.

and it's funny, your story sounds kind of like something that happened to me...when my first boyfriend broke up with me, very shortly afterwards I was in a car accident that was my fault, and totaled my car. When I told my boyfriend about it, he didn't even care or offer any sympathy at all, he just blamed me. Just like with you. So..speaking from experience...once you've had enough time to get over this guy completely, details like that will make you remember him with complete scorn and disdain, and you'll feel grateful in retrospect to rid yourself of someone who could treat you so heartlessly and coldly.

but one other thing to keep in mind...don't worry about getting over him. Don't expect that you should. My theory, which keeps being proven time and time again, is that basically you WON'T get over a breakup, until the next relationship comes along. So, whether it takes a month or a year, during this time that you're single, you aren't going to get over him. So don't expect yourself to. Just accept the fact that you miss him and you're sad, and don't worry about trying to feel differently.

but you're coping so well. Maybe you don't think you are, but reading your post...you went through TWO accidents and your first breakup ever, and yet you still are going to school full time AND working three jobs! That's really amazing. I'm glad you're keeping really busy, too...you've got your own goals and life to focus on, it will keep you moving forward and not sitting around dwelling on what happened.

but even though you're doing great...still, it sucks a lot to go through all that :( I guess it really is one of those "when it rains, it pours" you've had way more than your fair share of misfortunes for one person, this year. hang in there!

and btw I totally agree with this -


I got depressed from the break up because I blamed myself for the ending. Its a lot easier to get over somebody when you think the other person has problems. When you think you have the problems then you can really become depressed. You tend to blame yourself for the breakup and feel really depressed. However you have to realize what were problems with BF could be non issues with another guy. So its how the person reacts that is the problem not you. Its not always your fault.

[college_gal]

Hi guys,

Thanks for all of your positive comments. I'm doing better lately. I'm not feeling sad as often, and even started to enjoy my alone time somewhat (I used to hate being alone). Still very busy. A few more weeks & school will be out. I'm planning on going home this summer, so hopefully it'll be fun and make me feel better.

Library Queen, I used to see my school's counselor before (it was after the second time my ex broke up with me, and I was depressed). It did help somewhat, but then I tried to get back with my ex and the counselor advised me against it. I didn't listen to her, and even stopped going to see her (how stupid I was, cause just a month after getting back, he broke up with me again). Anyway, after that I've been avoiding the counselor, and I'd feel really weird to go back & talk to her again.

I haven't talked much lately to those friends who said they were tired of my negativity. I'm angry at them for saying that to me when I'm so down, but I don't know if I should. After all, they were my few close friends, and I miss talking to them now. I'm a quiet person, and while I'm trying to be more social now, it's still hard for me to make friends.

[college_gal]

For some stupid reason, at the end of the semester, I wrote an email asking my ex if he graduated this year yet. The main reason is that I still missed him sometimes & can't stand not knowing how he is doing. Anyway, it took him a while to email me back, and he said not only he just graduated, but he also got a really good job offer. He would rent an apartment with a close friend and expects the living expenses will be really low.

I'm happy for him, but feel sad at the same time. The whole time we were together, he was always broke, but I still stayed with him. I still missed him even after the break-up and all the mean, cold things he did. And now, all of a sudden, he became a great catch! Anyway, I'm rambling again. I tried to tell myself to stop dreaming that he would come back to me now that things are better for him. But it's hard.

[winneythepooh7]

For some stupid reason, at the end of the semester, I wrote an email asking my ex if he graduated this year yet. The main reason is that I still missed him sometimes & can't stand not knowing how he is doing. Anyway, it took him a while to email me back, and he said not only he just graduated, but he also got a really good job offer. He would rent an apartment with a close friend and expects the living expenses will be really low.

I'm happy for him, but feel sad at the same time. The whole time we were together, he was always broke, but I still stayed with him. I still missed him even after the break-up and all the mean, cold things he did. And now, all of a sudden, he became a great catch! Anyway, I'm rambling again. I tried to tell myself to stop dreaming that he would come back to me now that things are better for him. But it's hard.

It's hard, yes, but again, you are only focusing on the positive things with him. Until you can shut him out of your life completely, you are going to remain in the same place. But he won't because it's obvious he's already moved on without you.

[Bailey]

The best thing one can do when recovering from a break-up is to take some time to work on yourself. Clinging to hard to something screams co-dependence. Dependence is defined in the dictionary as: the state of relying on or being controlled by someone or something else.

There are wonderful benefits to therapy for those who choose that route to help them get over the hump of an issue. Therapy can give you wonderful coping skills that one cannot learn anywhere else. I have been down that road myself!

Well wishes to those in this thread attempting to pick up the pieces of their lives and move forward in a positive direction! Life indeed happens to us, it is how we choose to handle it that makes or breaks us!

Bailey

[winneythepooh7]

Take this time to concentrate on yourself, even re-invent yourself. Look for groups and such you can join in your local area. Go sit in a coffee house and read a book. Get your hair and nails done. Whatever you do though, calling the guy is something you should not do.

[kevin0tech]

I don't know why I get so depressed after the accidents. The car is valuable to me, but I understand it's just a machine.[quote]

You are right to be upset about the car. Typically this is the second most expensive item in your life behind a house. It sucks about your car, and you have the right to be mad. A car is freedom, and you just lost yours. Get your car fixed, and take care of it. If you do that it will take care of you and return your freedom. Why are you having so many accidents? Are you addicted to your cell phone? Are you an agressive driver? Put your makeup on in the car? At least you understand the crashes are your fault. PLease, please, please be careful. The next time you might not be so lucky as to walk away with no scratches.

[quote]
What's wrong with me? Why am I so emotional dependent on others? All I want is to have someone truly loves me, but when I finally find that person, I give him such a hard time that I drive him away. And how come I can't seem to get over him? It has been almost 4 months, and I still think about him, compare him to other guys, and still hope that someday, maybe he'll think about me and wants to get back (even though I know that hope is so slim).

You are needy and filled with negative emotions. This tends to drive people away like the plague. It will be hard to overcome, but you have to give it a try. Men need freedom, and don't want to be harassed for every decision/mistake they make. He is human, just like you. Nobody is perfect or without flaw, not even you. People also need space, lots of it. When I come home for work I don't want to chit chat, I don't want to be interested in anyone, I just want to wash the stink of work off and have 30 minutes of ME time. After that I am ok, but geez, can't you just leave me alone for a minute! (sorry, had a long week).

As for finding someone to love you, thats usually a life long quest. You can't really make it happen, and it seems you expect to do just that. You cannot make someone love you just because thats what YOU want. If you have a hard time controlling your emotions, try and deal with that before you go looking for love. In the least, you will protect yourself from accruing any more emotional baggage. As for the baggage you carry now, it is time to unpack, and put that in the closet until you can deal with it.

I just don't know what to do to pick myself up, to make myself feel better. I've been complained about my misfortunes to everyone that I know, and I feel like people are driving further from me.

Stop complaining. Tell your story once, get some positive feedback from your circle, then move on it. If you dwell on the negative you will surround yourself with others that feed on negativity. Surround yourself with positive people, and they will pull you up. No one wants to be around a negative person all the time... it's just depressing. Like I said, unpack the emotional baggage and put it away until you are grounded and able to deal with it. The easiest way to do this is to occupy your mind with other things. Redecorate your home, fix your car, take up running/tennis/exercise. If you aren't an active person, join a professional organization or start a book club. You can't sit around your home expecting things to change. YOU have to change them.

[wordsmith]

Stop looking up somebody who treated you like crap.

[zen_mistress]

I thought I'd add in my two cents worth... : )

In february I had my first boyfriend in 2 years. It only lasted 4 weeks, and a lot of people said "Big deal. He is heaps younger, and it cant have had that much of an impact in 4 weeks."

But, it did have a huge impact. Its amazing how much insecurity one relationship can dredge up. What didnt help was that after he broke it off with me rather coldly, he expressed a desire to hang out with MY friends, even though he had only met them a few times. I told him that I didnt want that, (I was so upset and angry I didnt want to see him) but he went ahead anyway... and I ended up losing two friends who decided they would rather be his friend than mine, or so they said.

Ugh... I keep bumping into him with these two ex-friends.. I think it is only a matter of time before he ends up dating one of them... he was always looking at other girls when we were together anyway, so it wouldnt surprise me one bit.

Emotionally it was really rough on me but two months have gone by and I think in retrospect it has really helped that he acted like such a creep that I ended up absolutely hating him (and the ex-friends).. because it erased any possibility of a reconciliation... the bridge has been well and truly burnt.

Not that it is easy to see him, and I still have so much hurt left over that I find it hard to deal with. But I think that at the very least I have managed to distract myself by keeping myself busy over the 2 months since the breakup, and that really has helped quite a bit...

I think that what is making it hard for you to move on right now is that you need a bit more support.. perhaps you should look for another counsellor if you feel uncomfortable with the previous one.
Also you could think of making sure you are somehow out there meeting people. It is such an incredibly brave thing to do, to move far away from home .. it can take a while to find those friends...

Anyway I wish you good luck... I think u hav been given some good advice so far from other posters....

C
~

[college_gal]

Hey guys,

Having been so swamped with school & work, I haven't been on the forum for a while. This is my last year in college, and I'm taking 21 hours in order to graduate in May. I'm also working from 28-40 hours per week. Crazy, huh? But finally, all of my efforts and hard work are paid off! I just received a really great job offer, almost seven months before I graduate :)!

This year has been a very strange one for me. The second quarter of it was pretty bad, as you all knew by reading my previous posts. I was very down for a while, feeling lost and deeply hurt by those I cared about. Having you guys listen to me & give me advice has really helped me get through that sad time. Winneythepooh7, Coolfrequency, Library_queen, Zen_Mistress, and all of you... thanks so much for taking time to read my posts and share your stories. Please know that your support and understanding did help make a difference in my life. This is a great forum, and I'm so glad that I found you guys in my time of needs. Keep up the good work :)!

[college_gal]

In hindsight, maybe everything did happen for a reason. What happened in those three months from February to April 2006 have taught me so much and shaped me in many ways.

I don't want you to think that I'm preaching or anything, since I only talk from my experience. But I truly was in a wreck during March & April. I worried constantly and was very bitter. Almost all people that I was close to turned their back on me in my time of needs. I had some financial trouble, and lost interest in school and work. At some point, I got pretty depressed and couldn't wait until school ended so I could go home and temporarily forgot about my sad situation.

Going home for the summer was the best decision that I've made. Having been through tough times myself, I started to be more sympathetic with my parents. I made peace with my dad by the end of the summer. Also, I got a really nice internship, which in turn helping me land this job.

I'm pretty happy with my life now, even though things are still hard sometimes. I stopped being friends with several people after what happend. I've not met or talked with my ex again. The last time we emailed, finally he said that he felt kinda bad about the way he acted, but also gave a bunch of lame excuses for it. Whatever, I guess.

But overall, this is NOT such a bad year after all :). I really hope that I won't have to go through such a tough time anymore, but it did help me grow stronger. Whoever is going through bad times right now, please hang it there! Things do get better :)!

[grneyedmustang]

I'm glad things have gotten better!!! It feels good to look back and see what you've overcome...

/off topic - 2006 was a pretty shitty year....

[winneythepooh7]

I am glad things are looking up. Isn't it great to reflect back and see that things really weren't the end of the world? It makes you stronger and helps you realize that you can get through tough times, and even deserve better when it comes to guys.

[Madhaitian78]

In hindsight, maybe everything did happen for a reason. What happened in those three months from February to April 2006 have taught me so much and shaped me in many ways.

I don't want you to think that I'm preaching or anything, since I only talk from my experience. But I truly was in a wreck during March & April. I worried constantly and was very bitter. Almost all people that I was close to turned their back on me in my time of needs. I had some financial trouble, and lost interest in school and work. At some point, I got pretty depressed and couldn't wait until school ended so I could go home and temporarily forgot about my sad situation.

Going home for the summer was the best decision that I've made. Having been through tough times myself, I started to be more sympathetic with my parents. I made peace with my dad by the end of the summer. Also, I got a really nice internship, which in turn helping me land this job.

I'm pretty happy with my life now, even though things are still hard sometimes. I stopped being friends with several people after what happend. I've not met or talked with my ex again. The last time we emailed, finally he said that he felt kinda bad about the way he acted, but also gave a bunch of lame excuses for it. Whatever, I guess.

But overall, this is NOT such a bad year after all :). I really hope that I won't have to go through such a tough time anymore, but it did help me grow stronger. Whoever is going through bad times right now, please hang it there! Things do get better :)!


Hey college-gal

We all have bad times at one point or another. Not too long ago, my now ex-bf dumped me after 3 yrs 10 months...almost 4 yrs! This was because he was afraid of committment and dumped me at a time where he know things have been rough for me. Told him how insensitive he was and he hanged up the phone on me I have not heard from him since. So, believe me its hard now, but tough moments like these will make one stronger. Also, if you have been a good person to them in the relationship and have not done anything, it will bite em in the behind later. They will regret it, like your ex did. Indeed, things will and can get better :heehee:

[MasterOfSoresu]

I would prob take some time off from school and life as a whole. I took time off at one point in my college career and it made a hell of a difference.