want to tell former boss a few things

[ukulelechango]

Since I finished college, I've made extra cash by bouncing at a bar on weekends. I got fired this week because I failed to see a post-it telling us we had an employee meeting last Sunday morning. My bad, I'm not mad about that...I guess I deserved to get fired. What I'm mad about is that the owner of the bar (a 23 year old bimbo who just recently inherited the bar) didn't have the decency to tell me I was fired. She just took me off the schedule. I found out I was fired when I went in for lunch the other day and the cook told me I no longer got my employee discount. I called the owner that night, but was too angry to have a real conversation with her.

I want to tell her that I have taken this as a learning opportunity (pay fucking attention to notes bosses leave) and that she should also take this as a learning opportunity (do the dirty work herself and not delegate it to the drunken cook.) Since she's only a year older than me and on facebook, would I be a total jerk if I just sent her a message on facebook telling her this? I know I should just let it go, but for some weird reason, I really want her to know what she did wrong so she can run a successful business in the future...it's been my favorite bar for years and I want to see it do well.

[winneythepooh7]

My gut instinct is to say leave well-enough alone. However, at the same time, she is really young and because of that factor alone, probably doesn't have a lot of business sense. It also seems kinda odd that she would fire you for not knowing about a meeting............It seems like you have a lot of animosity towards her, did anything else happen prior to this?

[ukulelechango]

the only other thing i have against her is that while i was working, the same cook harassed me several times. when i was eating lunch, he'd come out of the kitchen and yell obscenities at me to try to get me to leave. once he choked me. i told the owner that if the cook touched me again, i was going to defend myself and then quit. she told me not to defend myself and just let him do whatever he wants because he's been working at the bar 20 years.

[winneythepooh7]

the only other thing i have against her is that while i was working, the same cook harassed me several times. when i was eating lunch, he'd come out of the kitchen and yell obscenities at me to try to get me to leave. once he choked me. i told the owner that if the cook touched me again, i was going to defend myself and then quit. she told me not to defend myself and just let him do whatever he wants because he's been working at the bar 20 years.

This sounds absurd. I think you really need to cut the ties and leave it alone.

[meatwad]

You're the bouncer and he choked you? I would have told her to fire his ass or you were going to press charges against him.

[ukulelechango]

You're the bouncer and he choked you? I would have told her to fire his ass or you were going to press charges against him.
yeah, i'm the bouncer, but this guy's way tougher than i am. throwing drunks out of the bar is really very easy and requires little physical strength. i really should have pressed charges, but i figured it'd be too much trouble. the more i think about it, the more i think that she was looking for any excuse to get rid of me before another altercation happened between me and the cook, and me missing that meeting was her golden opportunity. that guy's been working for the bar longer than she's been alive, and he's like a second dad to her, so she would never have fired him, even if he choked all the employees.

[kacie231]

I'd have to say a big no the the Facebook message. I can't forsee anything positive coming out of it (even though you are right about her needing to tell people to their face if she is firing them, she probably would never concede you are right on that, esp. in a facebook conversation). Being a new business owner, she will learn soon enough that she needs to be professional toward her employees...word gets around about workplaces, and it will come back to bite her if she mismanages her staff.

[ukulelechango]

I really regret not threatening to press charges the first time the cook choked me. If I had done that, she probably would've been too scared to fire me.

Oh well, this weekend was the first free weekend I've had in months since I didn't have to work. I'm glad I don't work there anymore.

[davedavedave]

I feel bad for you guys. (Choking?? Taking commission?!?) Those are ugly situations that i would not want to be in... To be honest with you, they seem surreal to me, and I would've pressed charges asap. My pride would not have let them get away with that one.

Still, Facebook reply, to me, seems like a "too little-too late" kind of thing. Some things, you need to confront AS THEY'RE HAPPENING. I'll be honest with you.

One time, I was working at a retail bookseller, and just started. The store I was working for acquired (takeover, etc.) a sister book company and the employees in it. Well, this guy became an assistant manager within a short time due to his experience. HE was a nice guy before, but the manager position totally changed him. He became bossy, and very cold, whereas previously he had been friendly and goofy, etc. And all of us co-workers began mentioning this in private. So I confronted him. in private. I told him that lately, he's been very nasty toward us co-workers, and told him he didn't need to be so snobby and treat us like children, etc. I think it shocked him because he sort of realized, that yeah, he was power-tripping a bit. Anyways, he did become more nice, and later thanked me because I did "open his eyes" to how he was acting.

I don't know. That's mild i guess compared to your office horror stories. But if those situations came up, i can't fight physically. But sure as hell am not going to let them walk over me. I'm going to get back in my way, and effectively. There is no way in hell they are going to degrade my pride or dignity.

But don't face-book back. That's just lame. Do something cold and vengeful, but legal. Karma. Use that for your benefit. Good luck man. I feel your pain though.

[Lipgloss Boost]

Omigod, *chuckle* do it! Even better, send it in a Thank You card from Hallmark! :)