PDA

View Full Version : retail blues


Morgan
03-27-2006, 04:07 AM
I graduated with a degree in history over a year ago with an intent to continue onto grad school in near future. Well it took 6 months to finally land a job and it was at a local bookstore. I won much praise by my managers and coworkers, but now it is really draining on me and dredging up old feelings of wanting to give up on life.

Given my doctor bills, I rely on public transportation meaning I commute 2 hours a day when a car could get there and back in 25min. Months of this, has taken a toll on my mood.

I don't mind helping people find things, but there are many times I wanted to cry when having to cashier. I grow tired of the whole play act of 'how are you?' *insert either fine/good for reply* I don't feel like a person anymore. I always try to think of interesting things to say because right then the customer's face softens and they realize I am a person, not an automaton. It doesn't help that I have severe people anxiety, but I try to hide it though I end up crying sometimes when I go to sleep.

-_- I am growing very cynical and just tired of people. It is surprising how people just trash a bookstore, return books after they read them (using us as their personal library), or take a whole shelf of books that i spend over an hour alphabetizing only to leave them scattered in an aisle and not bother to buy one. I used to be an extremely nice and soft person, but now I am just bitter. I even stopped tutoring because I am now greedy with what little free time I have.

My coworkers are great, but this job has really taken a toll on me. In november I am going to apply to teach overseas then go to grad school. (I need experience over there and fluency in the language for grad school). How does everyone else handle it? I feel like my entire world is now sleep, commute, work. I don't even make that much money though I work full time. I always wanted to take piano lessons (self teaching) or go do tai chi, but money is always hard.

One other piece of the puzzle is that I am transgendered and everyone is supportive at where I work. I already look like one of those frail, bookwormish types with glasses, but I was hoping to get all the name change, legal formats done before applying to teach overseas. Also saving up for a minor proceedure so I won't be stuck on large regiment of hormones. Luckily I have insurance covering most of the hormones, but once I go overseas and surgery I would have to front the blood tests and expensive hormones. -_- After said proceedure, cost of prescription without insurance would go from 120+ a month to only like 20. So just switching jobs now would jepordize my chances of gettling all of this done before the time to apply for JET programme.

Everyday tons of people come in to apply. Though I receive praise, my unhappiness is starting to show through.

Really sorry about the long read, but how do I return to my warm hearted self with eyes no longer red from crying? Work feels like it is slowly killing me and I wish it would just hurry up already.

mgoblue424
03-27-2006, 04:54 AM
all i can say is college seems to set you up for a fall- sure, showing off for profs is one thing, and feels really good, but the true state of reality is not everyone is happy wiht their field, esp. when they dont really have any idea where its going.

i made the mistake of wanting to please my parents, so i end up getting a degree in psychology (COMPLETELY USELESS, unless you enjoy working with the downtrodden) and then when i didnt get into a PhD program, go get an MSW, another basically useless degree. and i remember the words of one of the directors: "if you are here with the intent of getting your own private practice, this is NOT the place for you..." i rushed back to the grad dorms and told my dad of this (he had an MSW too, and turned it into a lucrative degree financially) after which he told me they were just saying that and not to believe them....

but i should have; its a very stressful field, and i do not like one aspect of it. there are actually lots of social workers who end up teaching overseas. and i am one of them. the thought crossed my mind severaltimes, and i finally decided to act upon it. i really feel like there isnt anything for me here anymore. a chance to get away for a year sounds pretty good.

i dont even know if i can retire now. but i do know that the field of mental health (and everything else in social work) was not me. and ironically, i find that i myself have social anxiety, something that had gotten better before my work went straight to hell, and something for which i feel like i have regressed back to the age of 14. sheesh, who knew wanting to please parents would be a BAD thing? as they say, "the best laid plans of mice and men..."

winneythepooh7
03-27-2006, 06:45 AM
all i can say is college seems to set you up for a fall- sure, showing off for profs is one thing, and feels really good, but the true state of reality is not everyone is happy wiht their field, esp. when they dont really have any idea where its going.

i made the mistake of wanting to please my parents, so i end up getting a degree in psychology (COMPLETELY USELESS, unless you enjoy working with the downtrodden) and then when i didnt get into a PhD program, go get an MSW, another basically useless degree. and i remember the words of one of the directors: "if you are here with the intent of getting your own private practice, this is NOT the place for you..." i rushed back to the grad dorms and told my dad of this (he had an MSW too, and turned it into a lucrative degree financially) after which he told me they were just saying that and not to believe them....

but i should have; its a very stressful field, and i do not like one aspect of it. there are actually lots of social workers who end up teaching overseas. and i am one of them. the thought crossed my mind severaltimes, and i finally decided to act upon it. i really feel like there isnt anything for me here anymore. a chance to get away for a year sounds pretty good.

i dont even know if i can retire now. but i do know that the field of mental health (and everything else in social work) was not me. and ironically, i find that i myself have social anxiety, something that had gotten better before my work went straight to hell, and something for which i feel like i have regressed back to the age of 14. sheesh, who knew wanting to please parents would be a BAD thing? as they say, "the best laid plans of mice and men..."

Obviously Social Work is not the right field for you. I would never classify an MSW as a "useless degree", unless, again, you are getting into this field for the wrong reasons.

pisces2473
03-27-2006, 08:39 AM
Hey Morgan, I just sent you a PM.

wordsmith
03-27-2006, 09:12 AM
To respond to the second post for a minute, I am also curious as to why one would go into social work and not realize that it involves predominantly, if not 100%, dealing with the downtrodden. People whose lives are on track don't need social advocacy.

To the OP, retail would take an enormous toll on me, personally. There are people who do love it (and the service industry as well...I have a friend who LOVES the restuarant industry with every fiber of his being - good thing, as he's an actor). But it's not for me. I'm not keen on dealing with customers, in most circumstances. It's not my personality. A commute would make it doubly tough.

I know people who've had a great exp. with JET...but teaching isn't for everyone, either.

winneythepooh7
03-27-2006, 09:16 AM
[QUOTE=wordsmith]To respond to the second post for a minute, I am also curious as to why one would go into social work and not realize that it involves predominantly, if not 100%, dealing with the downtrodden. People whose lives are on track don't need social advocacy.

QUOTE]

Re-reading that person's post, I think it was to please their parents. As many people on these boards can tell, and I think this poster knows, going into any field to please one's parents is usually a bad idea, and will never leave you feeling fulfilled or happy.