starting early

[RussWLW2004]

Well i would like to say that im new to this site and hope that it will help me a lot in comming weeks. but to me this site seems a little early for me to come to, but hopefully i can work some problems out now that will help my future.

well right now im in my second year of college, just at a community school. Next fall i will be transfer to a 4 year school to finish out my major. I havent had much of a part time job to keep me up with the money issues, i've been a full time student and just enjoying life. I have a girlfirend who is a senior in highschool who i started dating when i was in highschool to. We've been together for 2 years and 3 months.

I feel comfortable with the life i have and how things go, though i know i should have some sort of income. My girlfriend has a nice little part time job with a friend at a ice cream place Cold Stone for those of you that know it.

I started my first part time job at staples on friday, well it was training. ANd i tried early in the year like before x-mas and noticed that i get very strong anxiety attacks and fears of change. I want ot keep this job but i always find myself thinking that something bad will happen or something will change or i will miss out on something great.

after reading some stories on here i've thought that i should get help on this early and get adjusted to this before i have to make a career. What can i do to help myself get over these fears? Thank you.

[winneythepooh7]

Focus on college, your girlfriend and having fun. The rest will come in time.

[Adam Strange]

Focus on college, your girlfriend and having fun. The rest will come in time.

I agree with Winnie. I’ve had a lot of problems since I graduated college but, even if I could have dealt with or prepared myself for dealing with them, it would dampen a really enjoyable time.

Study your self and your habits, continue to challenge yourself and know that by expecting some growing pains and transitional strife, you’re a foot ahead of most people.

[winneythepooh7]

Here is some more advice:

When you decide what your major is going to be, try to get a P/T job working in that field. It will be helpful for you in finding a job when you do graduate.

[Kitty]

It may be more beneficial to get a job doing something related to what you want to go into later. I know that what helped me get a job right out of college was the fact that I had experience doing stuff that was directly applicable to the jobs I was applying for.

My other advice is to enjoy college while it lasts...it goes quickly!

[wordsmith]

I'll get criticism for this, but I found college to be a great time to explore your options. I'm sure many people will say you should lock into a track right away, but I'm not a propenent of that, myself.

[Kitty]

I'll get criticism for this, but I found college to be a great time to explore your options. I'm sure many people will say you should lock into a track right away, but I'm not a propenent of that, myself.

No, I agree. I wasn't saying otherwise. I just think that an internship or a job that has broad applications is more beneficial than say, working at Staples.

[winneythepooh7]

I agree with both of you Wordsmith and Kitty. Most new grads are not going to know what their first job is, but may have an idea of the "type" of field(s) they want to work in. Like Kitty says though, there are other things that people could do besides work at Staples. I also think that the college experience is something that is once in a lifetime so everyone should make the most of that as well. If that means only working 5 or 10 hours a week, then that is cool too. Another thing that people in college could do is start to network and reach out to people in various fields NOW about what they do in their workplace. It will open their eyes and help them to make contacts down the road. Maybe even an internship could come out of it.

[wordsmith]

For sure, kitty. I wasn't disputing you. Just encouraging the OP to use college to explore interests...so many people lock themselves into one area out of fear or pressure, and then five years later, they're on here talking about how they wish they'd studied something they loved rather than stuck with somebody else's idea of what would make them happy. Just a random musing and advice.

[RussWLW2004]

wow all this is great advice but i just dont know how to explain this to my parents because they believe that sense im not really motivated to do something now im going to be a failure in the future. I def dont wanna miss out on anything next fall when i move away accutaly, im really not missing anything right now because its community college and im living at home. The only thing i depend on for my parents is gas money and that kinda works out as transportation to and from school.

I already know my major and have known for a while, im going to be an I.T professional but in what field im not sure yet. I have the oppurtonity to probably work in the local school district well that i am a part of doing computer stuff.

Staples isnt really what im looking for but should i just keep it anyway and lower the hours down to not stress myself out? maybe ask them to keep the max hours a week to like 15? more helpful feed back please!

[Kitty]

For sure, kitty. I wasn't disputing you. Just encouraging the OP to use college to explore interests...so many people lock themselves into one area out of fear or pressure, and then five years later, they're on here talking about how they wish they'd studied something they loved rather than stuck with somebody else's idea of what would make them happy. Just a random musing and advice.

Oh, sorry, I think I read it wrong..I totally agree with you.

[mgoblue424]

For sure, kitty. I wasn't disputing you. Just encouraging the OP to use college to explore interests...so many people lock themselves into one area out of fear or pressure, and then five years later, they're on here talking about how they wish they'd studied something they loved rather than stuck with somebody else's idea of what would make them happy. Just a random musing and advice.


that has a technical name: identity foreclosure. thats pursuing a field or role from the expectations of someone else instead of what youre interested in.


HINT: if you find yourself asking "will i be happy in this five, ten, twenty years from now?" you alreayy have your answer.

planning life while feeling ambivalent toward the it is a sure fire way to be miserable the rest of your life, finding yourself asking WHAT IF all the way...

[RussWLW2004]

let me re-say something, in my first post i said first part time job..its not my first ever its my first in probably a year or so.
Its like i know my career path and im honestly excited and i love what im gonna be doing anyway so thats a plus.

but working at staples is more to make my parents happy, its not for me even though i've been there 1 day so far going on my second today, i can tell its not for me.

Of coures i've loved hanging out with my girlfriend all the time and havin fun and just layin back and relaxing. And the downfall of this whole thing is that my girlfriend of 2 years and 3 months, her mom talked to her and said well if he's not motivated now what makes you think he'll be motivated later in life? and she's like is that who you want to be with can he support you? and all this junk and it makes me feel like crap.

so dunno...
_anxiety in michigan_

[bridgetjones]

Cut your hours down to 10-15 hrs. A job while studying is good in moderation :) Plus there are PT jobs around university campuses that are not too taxing ie the library, shops, etc.

[winneythepooh7]

let me re-say something, in my first post i said first part time job..its not my first ever its my first in probably a year or so.
Its like i know my career path and im honestly excited and i love what im gonna be doing anyway so thats a plus.

but working at staples is more to make my parents happy, its not for me even though i've been there 1 day so far going on my second today, i can tell its not for me.

Of coures i've loved hanging out with my girlfriend all the time and havin fun and just layin back and relaxing. And the downfall of this whole thing is that my girlfriend of 2 years and 3 months, her mom talked to her and said well if he's not motivated now what makes you think he'll be motivated later in life? and she's like is that who you want to be with can he support you? and all this junk and it makes me feel like crap.

so dunno...
_anxiety in michigan_

Your girlfriend's mother sounds like a twit. Of course you are not "motivated" as she calls it, you are in college and still figuring out the rest of your life. First lesson here, pay no attention to people like that, they will only keep you down. I can understand to an extent about your parents wanting you to work. Is it that they want you to work at any job though, or specifically Staples? My parents were the same way, they just wanted me to earn my own spending money and gain a sense of responsibility which having a P/T job usually helps to do. Good luck!!

[RussWLW2004]

they just want me to work anywhere that will get me some extra spending money, i dont blaim them. I've made the choice that im gonna look for something i want and im gonna start tomorrow at the community campus im at and see if there are any like computer positions i can do to keep me occupied. My mom is also gonna ask around where she works if i can do volunteer stuff to get me on my feet. I already have it planned that im gonna do campus stuff in the fall at the university im attending.

yes i can undestand where they would want me to get spending money of my own and stuff but its about what i want. So i will update soon about how things are going.

[spokes]

dude - i'd say relax it's a part time job. even though working there is not remotely related to your career path it is still work and it will give you some valuable work expereince (which in my mind is different that educational expereince).

[ukulelechango]

get rid of the girl. if she's a reason you might be hesitant to move away to a university, she's just trouble. focus on school and meeting new people.

[wordsmith]

I dunno...had my brother done that, he prob. wouldn't have gotten married.

[ukulelechango]

I mean if you're positive this is the girl you're going to spend your life with, then by all means, stick with her. But don't stay with her just because you've been with her since highschool and you're comfortable with her. If everyone married their highschool sweethearts, the divorce rate in this country would be much higher than it already is. You're only like 20 or so, right? There's plenty of time to find a wife later.

[winneythepooh7]

get rid of the girl. if she's a reason you might be hesitant to move away to a university, she's just trouble. focus on school and meeting new people.

Hey, give the kid a break. If he's happy with his girlfriend, that's awesome. I didn't see anything in his posts with the exception of her nagging mother, to show that he needs to break up with her (and the mother is not necessarily a reason to break up with someone). Yeah, many college and highschool relationships don't work out, but many do. Let him figure it out for himself along the way........

[sundaycomics]

Hey, don't knock Staples. ;): I worked there during high school and college and it was decent for a paycheck.

Are you going to sell computers? That sounds relatively applicable to a career in IT.

But I would still definitely say to find an internship or something in your field, even if you just have to do it during the summer. That would be way better than just having Staples on your resume.

[RussWLW2004]

get rid of the girl. if she's a reason you might be hesitant to move away to a university, she's just trouble. focus on school and meeting new people.


well i never said anything about being hesitant about moving away to a university lol and a side note she's going to the same university as i am, though i had the transfer in before she got accepted so no problem there.

Im hoping to help the local school district re-image all the computers in the local school for the comming fall. so that should be fun

along the lines of I.T professional i dunno im more looking into repair and maitance type things, selling them is fine because i did that Circuit City and loved it because i could use my knowledge.

and im not knocking staples at all, great for anyone just not me. I wanna use my skills for something that i like im gonna probably search around some more but i know for sure that im gonna try to get a job on campus next fall.

[wordsmith]

I mean if you're positive this is the girl you're going to spend your life with, then by all means, stick with her. But don't stay with her just because you've been with her since highschool and you're comfortable with her. If everyone married their highschool sweethearts, the divorce rate in this country would be much higher than it already is. You're only like 20 or so, right? There's plenty of time to find a wife later.

This is the case with my brother, who I mentioned previously on another thread. They've been together for ten years, since they were 16 and 17, respectivelym and will be married in three months. Their relationship has withstood separate colleges, separations for graduate school and semipro athletics, miles, distance, and other challenges. Not everyone SHOULD marry their high school loves. Not everyone grows and changes together. Most are more likely to drift apart. But not everyone. I'd pit their relationship against any I know hatched in adulthood for strength, compatibility, and ability to withstand challenges.

Anyhow, tangent, but just saying.

[ukulelechango]

I really didn't mean to sound so negative. I know one couple that's been together since they were 14. They're ~23 and very happily married now--I can only hope to find love that strong. All I meant was don't let her be any kind of deciding factor in your life unless you're 100% sure she's your gal for life. And from what it seems, she probably is.

[RussWLW2004]

dont worry like if what you guys are trying to get at is that im going to stay with her no matter what thats wrong. Im very aware of things around me and i know when its time to call it quits, i just dont see that soon.

I mean im not the type of guy that will try to work things out if a girl cheats on me, hell no i've almost. Im def not thinking marriage yet we've got a while if we last that long and sure i do hope we do.

but i dunno how we managed to stray away into relationships lol. :cool:

[winneythepooh7]

Russ, check your PM's :huge: .