Buzzwords

[MetFanL]

I'm so sick of reading this garbage... strategic vision, culture of change, streamlining, stakeholders... I can't read this nonsense anymore. Why do business schools teach people to write this way? Because, when I read these reports, all I see is "bullsh*t, bullsh*t, more bullsh*t, and I don't know what I'm talking abot so let me put strategic in front of it and no one will know."

Seriously. It make me want to drink everytime I see one of these words in print. And, when it's in a presentation, it makes me want to kick the presenter in the shin.

[and1grad]

I'm so sick of reading this garbage... strategic vision, culture of change, streamlining, stakeholders... I can't read this nonsense anymore. Why do business schools teach people to write this way? Because, when I read these reports, all I see is "bullsh*t, bullsh*t, more bullsh*t, and I don't know what I'm talking abot so let me put strategic in front of it and no one will know."

Seriously. It make me want to drink everytime I see one of these words in print. And, when it's in a presentation, it makes me want to kick the presenter in the shin.
Honestly, I doesnt annoy me as much as it just makes me laugh. I enjoy it. Everybody wants to make simple concepts sound complicated so they seem smart. Its strategery. :)

[MetFanL]

Honestly, I doesnt annoy me as much as it just makes me laugh. I enjoy it. Everybody wants to make simple concepts sound complicated so they seem smart. Its strategery. :)
I think it just annoys me b/c we're paying these consultants a sh*tload of money and this is what they give us. It's cr*ptastic.

[and1grad]

I think it just annoys me b/c we're paying these consultants a sh*tload of money and this is what they give us. It's cr*ptastic.
Ok, THAT would annoy me. One of our chiefs suggested a consultant a couple years ago and I think everyone in our division looked at her like she had lost her mind. Needless to say, no consultant was hired.

Did you just put an asterisk on crap? :neutral:

[winneythepooh7]

We have similar stuff in my field too. We have to go to these stupid "trainings" once a month that are run by consultants that are basically a huge waste of time and money. All they talk about are these "little projects" we should have our clients start doing for "busy work" to make them feel good about themselves. :rolleyes: If I hear the word "project" one more time, I am gonna vomit.

[wordsmith]

Actually, it DOES bug me that people get paid top dollar to come in and spew a bunch of profoundly unenlightening, regurgitated crap that's nothing but one hoary cliche after another, strung together and labeled and repackaged as a bold new business concept. I'd be really sheepish if I was hired to come in and actually DO something, and all I did was blather on and on about "goal-setting," "long-range planning," "eye to the future," yadda yadda. Jesus, what a no brainer. So what you're saying is...companies need to plan ahead? WHOAH! Y'don't say...One way of planning ahead would be, I don't know, not sinking money NOW into bullshit artists to come and give presentations and spin common sense stuff you already know and repackage it as something new and revolutionary.

[and1grad]

Actually, it DOES bug me that people get paid top dollar to come in and spew a bunch of profoundly unenlightening, regurgitated crap that's nothing but one hoary cliche after another, strung together and labeled and repackaged as a bold new business concept. I'd be really sheepish if I was hired to come in and actually DO something, and all I did was blather on and on about "goal-setting," "long-range planning," "eye to the future," yadda yadda. Jesus, what a no brainer. So what you're saying is...companies need to plan ahead? WHOAH! Y'don't say...One way of planning ahead would be, I don't know, not sinking money NOW into bullshit artists to come and give presentations and spin common sense stuff you already know and repackage it as something new and revolutionary.
sigh...says the "wordsmith." :googly: :lol:

I'm ALL OVER YOU today!

[coll214]

We get to take mind numbing classes that our deparments pay for to hear this crap :rolleyes:; but hey it gets me out of the office for 3 hours and if they want to waste their money on it...

[hotdog36]

I'd be really sheepish if I was hired to come in and actually DO something, and all I did was blather on and on about "goal-setting," "long-range planning," "eye to the future," yadda yadda. Jesus, what a no brainer. So what you're saying is...companies need to plan ahead? WHOAH!

You would be surprised at how many businesses fail to do the most simple things like plan for the future. Sometimes it just takes an outside consultant to see the obvious that the business has missed.

[yankeeyosh]

I'm so sick of reading this garbage... strategic vision, culture of change, streamlining, stakeholders

Ugh. Stakeholders. That word drives me nuts.

[pisces2473]

My most hated buzzword is "strategic planning." Kind of repetitive, eh?

[mgoblue424]

as opposed to LACK OF planning. ;-)

[lonestar]

How about "teambuilding" consultants...just because I can't win a sack race with one of my fellow cubicle lackeys does not mean that the business will go under...

[and1grad]

How about "teambuilding" consultants...just because I can't win a sack race with one of my fellow cubicle lackeys does not mean that the business will go under...
HA! I WISH I got to do a sack race.

[lonestar]

corporate gym teachers.

[and1grad]

I'd like to see some of my management climb the rope...and maybe be chastised if they cant. "Get your fat ass up that rope ya pansy!!"

[kacie231]

Another wonderful buzz word is "synergy." I don't even know what it means, but I feel like I hear it thrown around all the time, so I am looking it up on dictionary.com as we speak...

"The interaction of two or more agents or forces so that their combined effect is greater than the sum of their individual effects.
Cooperative interaction among groups, especially among the acquired subsidiaries or merged parts of a corporation, that creates an enhanced combined effect."

Hmm, seems to me like a fancy way of saying "two heads are better than one."

[wordsmith]

Silly...Synergy is a computer than turns a corporate exec into a GIRL ROCKER!!!

[pisces2473]

Silly...Synergy is a computer than turns a corporate exec into a GIRL ROCKER!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA And it makes you truly truly truly OUTRAGEOUS!!!!!! :huge:

[wordsmith]

Yay!!! SOMEbody got it! :huge:

[pisces2473]

Dude, totally. Jem rocked/rocks.

[crystal_dance]

You would be surprised at how many businesses fail to do the most simple things like plan for the future. Sometimes it just takes an outside consultant to see the obvious that the business has missed.

I completely agree. While alot of consultants do bill outrageous amounts of money for doing what seems like common knowledge, like hotdog said, alot of companies lose focus along the way and can't see where they are going wrong. An external party's perspective helps.

For example, alot of companies blindly invest millions in IT hoping that it will be the miracle formula that will save their company and keep em in the black. It's been seen that rarely does revenues increase by 50% of the amount invested in IT. This leaves most managers clueless coz they are worse off than where they started. That's where consultants come in, coz they can offer a fresh perspective on where you are going wrong and the state of your IT-Biz "Alignment" (lol) - all for a small sum of $500/hr per consultant :huge: .

Sometimes common knowledge isn't all that common.