Best way to avoid someone.

[Raquel]

I used to work at this large casino. There was a guy that worked at the lodge part of the casino that used to have a crush on me. He knew my cousin so he kept begging my cousin to start talking to me. Well, she had him on the phone when she knew that i was going to be there. I talked to him on the phone and I gave him my phone number because I thought that he was funny. Well, the next day I went shopping I left around 8 in the morning came back at noon. When I came home he left 20 messages on my phone. I confronted him about that and he jokingly said that he was stalkerish. So i just brushed it off. He asked me to go eat some dinner with him so I told him sure. He asked me to drive because my car is more reliable, it was the middle of the winter, and this is in the great plains. So if we stall we'll be stuck and might freeze to death. I told him i would drive if the weather was okay. So i watched the news and the weather man said that it was going to be bad weather so I asked him to reschedule. The next day he spread around work and to my cousin that I stood him up. While at work, and in front my coworkers, he wanted to talk about what he did. I asked him can we talk about this when we're not at work. So he then spread around work and to my cousin that I was stuck up and I can't even speak at work. After that incident, I started to eat lunch by myself and he would have a bunch of my coworkers sitting around him at work joking around and they would stare at me. I ended up quitting my job because I felt seriously uncomfortable. I left town and decided to go back to school. I'm about to finish school up. This guy makes me feel seriously uncomfortable. He emails me on and off and his emails contain sexually explicit things, he bugs me for a relationship, and he asked me to marry him. He even has a girlfriend. I've blocked this guy from my email. I wanted to add that there is no way in this world that I would marry this guy let alone be in a relationship with him.

Every summer I visit my family and the only place to stay is at this casino. He works at the lodge front desk. In the past when I try to avoid him he some how calls my cousin looking for me. I would say our entire relationship lasted about two weeks max. Or if i'm eating lunch (at the casino) he'll stop the conversation at the table and introduce himself to everyone. What's the best way to avoid this guy. I wish that I could visit my family without seeing him around.

[Raquel]

I wanted to add that there was another girl that he did this to. He used to constantly bug her for a relationship. One time, she had a dress on and she had jacket over her dress. She was coming out of the bathroom and he blocked her from coming out of the bathroom saying that he was not going to let her by unless she took her jacket off. This guy is a real loser and a real pervert.

[ATLWill]

Every summer I visit my family and the only place to stay is at this casino

Why can't you stay with your family?

I would tell them that you don't feel safe around this guy, and that you would prefer to stay with them.

Also, if the guy sends you any future emails that you find offensive, email him a response indicating that you don't want him to contact you through email, the telephone, by mail, etc. anymore. If he does, tell him that you will contact your local police department and file charges for harrassment. This step sounds harsh, but if he is sane, he will stop doing it immediately.

[Raquel]

Well, i go to visit my extended family and they have a really small place. So, it's me, my two brothers and my parents. We stay up there about a month. It's better that we stay at a hotel because there will be 10 people in one small house.

I never thought about getting the police involved I actually might try that.

[SunDevil]

This is why it isn't a good idea to get involved with people you work with.

Restraining orders only do so much. And it might make it worse than just ignoring the guy completely and pretending he doesn't exist.

Try not to be alone at work or when he is around. And you might want to look into getting mace or a stun gun type thing.

[inuts]

He seems a lot more than "a little off"--I almost always forgive anyone who is a little off, just because in reality everyone is "a little off"--but 20 messages is overkill, and his asking you to drive after he asks you out to dinner is just bad form. He sounds immature.

And I agree with ATLWill--anyone who makes you so uncomfortable that you quit your job is just wrong. I've been in that situation, and no employee should come to that.

Anyway, good luck.

[Chameleon]

I'm glad he tried to make you drive, at least you had the option of backing out rather than disappearing into the wilderness in his vehicle never to be heard from again. His spreading lies to your friends/co-workers and still badgering you for a relationship is beyond psycho.

Read "The Gift of Fear" if you haven't already. If he harrasses you in the casino, you should report him to management and the police. If you've already told him to leave you alone, document every instance where he tries to contact you and add it to the police report; try not to be alone whenever you have to come in contact with him and don't ever respond to him.

[winneythepooh7]

I think you should report him to the authorities. He sounds like someone who is a friend of my family who is bipolar and doesn't take his meds. He acts completely crazy and everyone is always making excuses for him, or "not wanting to get involved" and it doesn't help that his family is overly religious. I swear to God, I am going to read about him in the paper one day for killing a member of his family, probably his mother. The only thing that has worked with him for a bit in the past is when the police/judge gets involved. And it only works for but so long too, because once the period of time that he has to "comply" ends, he's right back to his "old ways".

[Raquel]

Thank you guys for your replies. I've already told him once to stop sending sexually explicit emails and he still does it. He has one picture of me, where I feel asleep, during the day, and i'm just waking up, at his house and it's a picture that looks like we just had sex (I've never had sex with this guy) and he's always showing me that picture and reminding me of what it looks like. Because of his past behavior it makes me nervous that he's showing that picture to everyone. I don't want to send him too many emails because this guy seems like he'll turn things around so people can feel sorry for him. He's already made friends with some of my family members. I think that I might first tell him that if he doesn't leave me alone that I will alert the authorities.

I actually might take a look at that book.

[Kitty]

Does your family know about this? Seriously, there has to be somewhere else to stay.

[winneythepooh7]

Does your family know about this? Seriously, there has to be somewhere else to stay.

Yeah, that too. Even staying at a no-tell motel would be better than staying where psycho-guy is.

[Raquel]

When he's around my family or anyone else he's this really nice, funny guy he doesn't make sexually explicit jokes, he seems really personable. He seems like a nice, funny, normal person. A lot of people feel sorry for him because his mom gave him up for adoption when he was a teenager. Just recently his real mom and foster mom died and he's left taking care of his little brother.

When I tell them they just brush it off and say stuff like, "oh, come on, L----." The closest motel is 40 miles away because this is in plain's area of the U.S. I've lately been thinking about staying with a family member who lives with his girlfriend.

[RealChic1999]

This guy sounds like a stalker. Seriously, if you feel threatened in any way the next time he tries to get around you, call the police. No one should go through this. I also agree with getting protection---mace, personal alarm, etc.

[RealChic1999]

A lot of people feel sorry for him because his mom gave him up for adoption when he was a teenager. Just recently his real mom and foster mom died and he's left taking care of his little brother.

A lot of people have been through WORSE and end up normal. It's okay not to feel sorry for this creep.

[winneythepooh7]

I also would be willing to put money on it that he KNOWS people feel sorry for him, and this is just another reason he gets away with this behavior. He's manipulating everyone.

[WorkInProgress]

I also would be willing to put money on it that he KNOWS people feel sorry for him, and this is just another reason he gets away with this behavior. He's manipulating everyone.

Yeah, me too.

[Raquel]

He's a manipulator. After, I canceled the dinner date with him, I drove to my cousins house and in the time that it takes for me to get into my car and drive to my cousins house (about 5 minutes). He already sent her an instant message talking about how I never called him and that I stood him up.

I remember one time (in the two weeks that I knew him), I was in the car with him and he was driving me home from his house and we were having a serious conversation about my past. The roads were icy, and he said something about how my past sucks and so does his and so he started driving recklessly all over the rode, we were going over a bridge, and he said something about taking our lives now. I remember being really scared.

It's kind of weird how now that i'm talking about him he does seem a little off. Before, I used to think about the best way of avoiding him but he really does sound crazy.

[RealChic1999]

Avoid him like the plague. Never allow yourself to be alone with him again. You've gotta put yourself first. I am praying for your safety in all this.

[Raquel]

Thank you, that's my goal. All I want to do is visit my extended family, have a little fun, without seeing him. He already knows that i'm going to be in town because my family comes to town the same time every year.